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youth-第28部分

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or at the persons to whom she was speaking or at the world in

generala thing which; possibly; she had no real intention of

doing。 Often I asked myself in astonishment what she could mean

when she said something like; 〃Yes; I know how terribly good…

looking I am;〃 or; 〃Of course every one is in love with me;〃 and

so forth。 Her mother was a person always busy; since she had a

passion for housekeeping; gardening; flowers; canaries; and

pretty trinkets。 Her rooms and garden; it is true; were small and

poorly fitted…up; yet everything in them was so neat and

methodical; and bore such a general air of that gentle gaiety

which one hears expressed in a waltz or polka; that the word

〃toy〃 by which guests often expressed their praise of it all

exactly suited her surroundings。 She herself was a 〃toy〃being

petite; slender; fresh…coloured; small; and pretty…handed; and

invariably gay and well…dressed。 The only fault in her was that a

slight over…prominence of the dark…blue veins on her little hands

rather marred the general effect of her appearance。 On the other

hand; her daughter scarcely ever did anything at all。 Not only

had she no love for trifling with flowers and trinkets; but she

neglected her personal exterior; and only troubled to dress

herself well when guests happened to call。 Yet; on returning to

the room in society costume; she always looked extremely

handsomesave for that cold; uniform expression of eyes and

smile which is common to all beauties。 In fact; her strictly

regular; beautiful face and symmetrical figure always seemed to

be saying to you; 〃Yes; you may look at me。〃



At the same time; for all the mother's liveliness of disposition

and the daughter's air of indifference and abstraction; something

told one that the former was incapable of feeling affection for

anything that was not pretty and gay; but that Avdotia; on the

contrary; was one of those natures which; once they love; are

willing to sacrifice their whole life for the man they adore。



XXXIV



MY FATHER'S SECOND MARRIAGE



MY father was forty…eight when he took as his second wife Avdotia

Vassilievna Epifanov。



I suspect that when; that spring; he had departed for the country

with the girls; he had been in that communicatively happy;

sociable mood in which gamblers usually find themselves who have

retired from play after winning large stakes。 He had felt that he

still had a fortune left to him which; so long as he did not

squander it on gaming; might be used for our advancement in life。

Moreover; it was springtime; he was unexpectedly well supplied

with ready money; he was alone; and he had nothing to do。 As he

conversed with Jakoff on various matters; and remembered both the

interminable suit with the Epifanovs and Avdotia's beauty (it was

a long while since he had seen her); I can imagine him saying:

〃How do you think we ought to act in this suit; Jakoff? My idea

is simply to let the cursed land go。 Eh? What do you think about

it?〃 I can imagine; too; how; thus interrogated; Jakoff twirled

his fingers behind his back in a deprecatory sort of way; and

proceeded to argue that it all the same; Peter Alexandritch; we

are in the right。〃 Nevertheless; I further conjecture; Papa

ordered the dogcart to be got ready; put on his fashionable

olive…coloured driving…coat; brushed up the remnants of his hair;

sprinkled his clothes with scent; and; greatly pleased to think

that he was acting a la seignior (as well as; even more;

revelling in the prospect of soon seeing a pretty woman); drove

off to visit his neighbours。



I can imagine; too; that when the flustered housemaid ran to

inform Peter Vassilievitch that Monsieur Irtenieff himself had

called; Peter answered angrily; 〃Well; what has he come for?〃

and; stepping softly about the house; first went into his study

to put on his old soiled jacket; and then sent down word to the

cook that on no account whateverno; not even if she were

ordered to do so by the mistress herselfwas she to add anything

to luncheon。



Since; later; I often saw Papa with Peter; I can form a very good

idea of this first interview between them。 I can imagine that;

despite Papa's proposal to end the suit in a peaceful manner;

Peter was morose and resentful at the thought of having

sacrificed his career to his mother; and at Papa having done

nothing of the kinda by no means surprising circumstance; Peter

probably said to himself。 Next; I can see Papa taking no notice

of this ill…humour; but cracking quips and jests; while Peter

gradually found himself forced to treat him as a humorist with

whom he felt offended one moment and inclined to be reconciled

the next。 Indeed; with his instinct for making fun of everything;

Papa often used to address Peter as 〃Colonel;〃 and though I can

remember Peter once replying; with an unusually violent stutter

and his face scarlet with indignation; that he had never been a

c…c…colonel; but only a l…l…lieutenant; Papa called him 〃Colonel〃

again before another five minutes were out。



Lubotshka told me that; up to the time of Woloda's and my arrival

from Moscow; there had been daily meetings with the Epifanovs;

and that things had been very lively; since Papa; who had a

genius for arranging; everything with a touch of originality and

wit; as well as in a simple and refined manner; had devised

shooting and fishing parties and fireworks for the Epifanovs'

benefit。 All these festivitiesso said Lubotshkawould have

gone off splendidly but for the intolerable Peter; who had spoilt

everything by his puffing and stuttering。 After our coming;

however; the Epifanovs only visited us twice; and we went once to

their house; while after St。 Peter's Day (on which; it being

Papa's nameday; the Epifanovs called upon us in common with a

crowd of other guests) our relations with that family came

entirely to an end; and; in future; only Papa went to see them。



During the brief period when I had opportunities of seeing Papa

and Dunetchka (as her mother called Avdotia) together; this is

what I remarked about them。 Papa remained unceasingly in the same

buoyant mood as had so greatly struck me on the day after our

arrival。 So gay and youthful and full of life and happy did he

seem that the beams of his felicity extended themselves to all

around him; and involuntarily communicated to them a similar

frame of mind。 He never stirred from Avdotia's side so long as

she was in the room; but either kept on plying her with sugary…

sweet compliments which made me feel ashamed for him or; with his

gaze fixed upon her with an air at once passionate and

complacent; sat hitching his shoulder and coughing as from time

to time he smiled and whispered something in her ear。 Yet

throughout he wore the same expression of raillery as was

peculiar to him even in the most serious matters。



As a rule; Avdotia herself seemed to catch the infection of the

happiness which sparkled at this period in Papa's large blue

eyes; yet there were moments also when she would be seized with

such a fit of shyness that I; who knew the feeling well; was full

of sympathy and compassion as I regarded her embarrassment。 At

moments of this kind she seemed to be afraid of every glance and

every movementto be supposing that every one was looking at her;

every one thinking of no one but her; and that unfavourably。 She

would glance timidly from one person to another; the colour

coming and going in her cheeks; and then begin to talk loudly and

defiantly; but; for the most part; nonsense; until presently;

realising this; and supposing that Papa and every one else had

heard her; she would blush more painfully than ever。 Yet Papa

never noticed her nonsense; for he was too much taken up with

coughing and with gazing at her with his look of happy;

triumphant devotion。 I noticed; too; that; although these fits of

shyness attacked Avdotia; without any visible cause; they not

infrequently ensued upon Papa's mention of one or another young

and beautiful woman。 Frequent transitions from depression to that

strange; awkward gaiety of hers to which I have referred before。

the repetition of favourite words and turns of speech of Papa's;

the continuation of discussions with others which Papa had

already begunall these things; if my father had not been the

principal actor in the matter and I had been a little older;

would have explained to me the relations subsisting between him

and Avdotia。 At the time; however; I never surmised themno; not

even when Papa received from her brother Peter a letter which so

upset him that not again until the end of August did he go to

call upon the Epifanovs'。 Then; however; he began his visits once

more; and ended by informing us; on the day before Woloda and I

were to return to Moscow; that he was about to take Avdotia

Vassilievna Epifanov to be his wife。



XXXV



HOW WE RECEIVED THE NEWS



Yet; even on the eve of the official announcement; every one had

learnt of the matter; and was discussing it。 Mimi never left her

room that day; and wept copiously。 Katenka kept her company; and

only came out for luncheon; with a grieved expression on her face

which was manifestly borrowed from her mother。 Lubotshka; on the

contrary; was very cheerful; and told us after luncheon that she

knew of a splendid secret which she was going to tell no one。



〃There is nothing so splendid about your secret;〃 said Woloda;

who did not in the least share her satisfaction。 〃If you were

capable of any serious thought at all; you would understand that

it is a very bad lookout for us。〃



Lubotshka stared at him in amazement; and said no more。 After the

meal was over; Woloda made a feint of taking me by the arm; and

then; fearing that this would seem too much like 〃affection;〃

nudged me gently by the elbow; and beckoned me towards the salon。



〃You know; I suppose; what the secret is of which Lubotshka was

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