youth-第29部分

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nudged　me　gently　by　the　elbow；　and　beckoned　me　towards　the　salon。



〃You　know；　I　suppose；　what　the　secret　is　of　which　Lubotshka　was

speaking？〃　he　said　when　he　was　sure　that　we　were　alone。　It　was

seldom　that　he　and　I　spoke　together　in　confidence：　with　the

result　that；　whenever　it　came　about；　we　felt　a　kind　of

awkwardness　in　one　another's　presence；　and　〃boys　began　to　jump

about〃　in　our　eyes；　as　Woloda　expressed　it。　On　the　present

occasion；　however；　he　answered　the　excitement　in　my　eyes　with　a

grave；　fixed　look　which　said：　〃You　need　not　be　surprised；　for　we

are　brothers；　and　we　have　to　consider　an　important　family

matter。〃　I　understood　him；　and　he　went　on：



〃You　know；　I　suppose；　that　Papa　is　going　to　marry　Avdotia

Epifanov？〃



I　nodded；　for　I　had　already　heard　so。　〃Well；　it　is　not　a　good

thing；〃　continued　Woloda。



〃Why　so？〃



〃Why？〃　he　repeated　irritably。　〃Because　it　will　be　so　pleasant；

won't　it；　to　have　this　stuttering　'colonel'　and　all　his　family

for　relations！　Certainly　she　seems　nice　enough；　as　yet；　but　who

knows　what　she　will　turn　out　to　be　later？　It　won't　matter　much　to

you　or　myself；　but　Lubotshka　will　soon　be　making　her　debut；　and

it　will　hardly　be　nice　for　her　to　have　such　a　'belle　mere'　as

thisa　woman　who　speaks　French　badly；　and　has　no　manners　to

teach　her。〃



Although　it　seemed　odd　to　hear　Woloda　criticising　Papa's　choice

so　coolly；　I　felt　that　he　was　right。



〃Why　is　he　marrying　her？〃　I　asked。



〃Oh；　it　is　a　hole…and…corner　business；　and　God　only　knows　why；〃

he　answered。　〃All　I　know　is　that　her　brother；　Peter；　tried　to

make　conditions　about　the　marriage；　and　that；　although　at　first

Papa　would　not　hear　of　them；　he　afterwards　took　some　fancy　or

knight…errantry　or　another　into　his　head。　But；　as　I　say；　it　is　a

hole…and…corner　business。　I　am　only　just　beginning　to　understand

my　father　〃the　fact　that　Woloda　called　Papa　〃my　father〃　instead

of　〃Papa〃　somehow　hurt　me〃and　though　I　can　see　that　he　is　kind

and　clever；　he　is　irresponsible　and　frivolous　to　a　degree　that

Well；　the　whole　thing　is　astonishing。　He　cannot　so　much　as　look

upon　a　woman　calmly。　You　yourself　know　how　he　falls　in　love　with

every　one　that　he　meets。　You　know　it；　and　so　does　Mimi。〃



〃What　do　you　mean？〃　I　said。



〃What　I　say。　Not　long　ago　I　learnt　that　he　used　to　be　in　love

with　Mimi　herself　when　he　was　a　young　man；　and　that　he　used　to

send　her　poetry；　and　that　there　really　was　something　between

them。　Mimi　is　heart…sore　about　it　to　this　day〃and　Woloda　burst

out　laughing。



〃Impossible！〃　I　cried　in　astonishment。



〃But　the　principal　thing　at　this　moment；〃　went　on　Woloda；

becoming　serious　again；　and　relapsing　into　French；　〃is　to　think

how　delighted　all　our　relations　will　be　with　this　marriage！　Why；

she　will　probably　have　children！〃



Woloda's　prudence　and　forethought　struck　me　so　forcibly　that　I

had　no　answer　to　make。　Just　at　this　moment　Lubotshka　approached

us。



〃So　you　know？〃　she　said　with　a　joyful　face。



〃Yes；〃　said　Woloda。　〃Still；　I　am　surprised　at　you；　Lubotshka。　You

are　no　longer　a　baby　in　long　clothes。　Why　should　you　be　so

pleased　because　Papa　is　going　to　marry　a　piece　of　trash？〃



At　this　Lubotshka's　face　fell；　and　she　became　serious。



〃Oh；　Woloda！〃　she　exclaimed。　〃Why　'a　piece　of　trash'　indeed？　How

can　you　dare　to　speak　of　Avdotia　like　that？　If　Papa　is　going　to

marry　her　she　cannot　be　'trash。'〃



〃No；　not　trash；　so　to　speak；　but〃



〃No　'buts'　at　all！〃　interrupted　Lubotshka；　flaring　up。　〃You　have

never　heard　me　call　the　girl　whom　you　are　in　love　with　'trash！'

How；　then；　can　you　speak　so　of　Papa　and　a　respectable　woman？

Although　you　are　my　elder　brother；　I　won't　allow　you　to　speak

like　that！　You　ought　not　to！〃



〃Mayn't　I　even　express　an　opinion　about〃



〃No；　you　mayn't！〃　repeated　Lubotshka。　〃No　one　ought　to　criticise

such　a　father　as　ours。　Mimi　has　the　right　to；　but　not　you；

however　much　you　may　be　the　eldest　brother。〃



〃Oh　you　don't　understand　anything；〃　said　Woloda　contemptuously。

〃Try　and　do　so。　How　can　it　be　a　good　thing　that　a　'Dunetchka'　of

an　Epifanov　should　take　the　place　of　our　dead　Mamma？〃



For　a　moment　Lubotshka　was　silent。　Then　the　tears　suddenly　came

into　her　eyes。



〃I　knew　that　you　were　conceited；　but　I　never　thought　that　you

could　be　cruel；〃　she　said；　and　left　us。



〃Pshaw！〃　said　Woloda；　pulling　a　serio…comic　face　and　make…

believe；　stupid　eyes。　〃That's　what　comes　of　arguing　with　them。〃

Evidently　he　felt　that　he　was　at　fault　in　having　so　far　forgot

himself　as　to　descend　to　discuss　matters　at　all　with　Lubotshka。



Next　day　the　weather　was　bad；　and　neither　Papa　nor　the　ladies　had

come　down　to　morning　tea　when　I　entered　the　drawing…room。　There

had　been　cold　rain　in　the　night；　and　remnants　of　the　clouds　from

which　it　had　descended　were　still　scudding　across　the　sky；　with

the　sun's　luminous　disc　（not　yet　risen　to　any　great　height）

showing　faintly　through　them。　It　was　a　windy；　damp；　grey　morning。

The　door　into　the　garden　was　standing　open；　and　pools　left　by　the

night's　rain　were　drying　on　the　damp…blackened　flags　of　the

terrace。　The　open　door　was　swinging　on　its　iron　hinges　in　the

wind；　and　all　the　paths　looked　wet　and　muddy。　The　old　birch　trees

with　their　naked　white　branches；　the　bushes；　the　turf；　the

nettles；　the　currant…trees；　the　elders　with　the　pale　side　of

their　leaves　turned　upwardsall　were　dashing　themselves　about；

and　looking　as　though　they　were　trying　to　wrench　themselves　free

from　their　roots。　From　the　avenue　of　lime…trees　showers　of　round；

yellow　leaves　were　flying　through　the　air　in　tossing；　eddying

circles；　and　strewing　the　wet　road　and　soaked　aftermath　of　the

hayfield　with　a　clammy　carpet。　At　the　moment；　my　thoughts　were

wholly　taken　up　with　my　father's　approaching　marriage　and　with

the　point　of　view　from　which　Woloda　regarded　it。　The　future

seemed　to　me　to　bode　no　good　for　any　of　us。　I　felt　distressed　to

think　that　a　woman　who　was　not　only　a　stranger　but　young　should

be　going　to　associate　with　us　in　so　many　relations　of　life；

without　having　any　right　to　do　sonay；　that　this　young　woman　was

going　to　usurp　the　place　of　our　dead　mother。　I　felt　depressed；

and　kept　thinking　more　and　more　that　my　father　was　to　blame　in

the　matter。　Presently　I　heard　his　voice　and　Woloda's　speaking

together　in　the　pantry；　and；　not　wishing　to　meet　Papa　just　then；

had　just　left　the　room　when　I　was　pursued　by　Lubotshka；　who　said

that　Papa　wanted　to　see　me。



He　was　standing　in　the　drawing…room；　with　his　hand　resting　on　the

piano；　and　was　gazing　in　my　direction　with　an　air　at　once　grave

and　impatient。　His　face　no　longer　wore　the　youthful；　gay

expression　which　had　struck　me　for　so　long；　but；　on　the　contrary；

looked　sad。　Woloda　was　walking　about　the　room　with　a　pipe　in　his

hand。　I　approached　my　father；　and　bade　him　good　morning。



〃Well；　my　children；〃　he　said　firmly；　with　a　lift　of　his　head　and

in　the　peculiarly　hurried　manner　of　one　who　wishes　to　announce

something　obviously　unwelcome；　but　no　longer　admitting　of

reconsideration；　〃you　know；　I　suppose；　that　I　am　going　to　marry

Avdotia　Epifanov。〃　He　paused　a　moment。　〃Hitherto　I　had　had　no

desire　for　any　one　to　succeed　your　mother；　but〃and　again　he

paused〃it…it　is　evidently　my　fate。　Dunetchka　is　an　excellent；

kind　girl；　and　no　longer　in　her　first　youth。　I　hope；　therefore；

my　children；　that　you　will　like　her；　and　she；　I　know；　will　be

sincerely　fond　of　you；　for　she　is　a　good　woman。　And　now；〃　he　went

on；　addressing　himself　more　particularly　to　Woloda　and　myself；

and　having　the　appearance　of　speaking　hurriedly　in　order　to

prevent　us　from　interrupting　him；　〃it　is　time　for　you　to　depart；

while　I　myself　am　going　to　stay　here　until　the　New　Year；　and　then

to　follow　you　to　Moscow　with〃again　he　hesitated　a　moment〃my

wife　and　Lubotshka。〃　It　hurt　me　to　see　my　father　standing　as

though　abashed　and　at　fault　before　us；　so　I　moved　a　little　nearer

him；　but　Woloda　only　went　on　walking　about　the　room　with　his　head

down；　and　smoking。



〃So；　my　children；　that　is　what　your　old　father　has　planned　to

do；〃　concluded　Papareddening；　coughing；　and　offering　Woloda　and

myself　his　hands。　Tears　were　in　his　eyes　as　he　said　this；　and　I

noticed；　too；　that　the　hand　which　he　was　holding　out　to　Woloda

（who　at　that　moment　chanced　to　be　at　the　other　end　of　the　room）

was　shaking　slightly。　The　sight　of　that　shaking　hand　gave　me　an

unpleasant　shock；　for　I　remembered　that　Papa　had　served　in　1812；

and　had　been；　as　every　one　knew；　a　brave　officer。　Seizing　the

great　veiny　hand；　I　covered　it　with　kisses；　and　he　squeezed　mine

hard　in　return。　Then；　with　a　sob　amid　his　tears；　he　suddenly

threw　his　arms　around　Lubotshka's　dark　head；　and　kissed　her　again

and　again　on　the　eyes。　Woloda　pretended　that　he　had　dropped　his

pipe；　and；　bending　down；　wiped　his　eyes　furtively　with　the　back

of　his　hand。　Then；　endeavouring　to　escape　notice；　he　left　the

room。



XXXVI



THE　UNIVERSITY



THE　wedding　was　to　take　place　in　two　weeks'　time；　but；　as　our

lectures　had　begun　already；　Woloda　and　myself　were　forced　to

return　to　Moscow　at　the　beginning　of　September。　The　Nechludoffs

had　also　returned　from　the　country；　and　Dimitri　（with　whom；　on

parting；　I　had　made　an　agreement　that　we　should　correspond

frequently　with　the　result；　of　course；　that　we　had　never　once

written　to　one　another）　came　to　see　us　immediately　after　our

arrival；　and　arranged　to　escort　me　to　my　first　lecture　on　the

morrow。



It　was　a　beautiful　sunny　day。　No　sooner　had　I　entered　the

auditorium　than　I　felt　my　personality　entirely　disappear　amid　the

swarm　of　light…hearted　youths　who　were　seething　tumultuously

through　every　doorway　and　corridor　under　the　influence　of　the

sunlight　pouring　through　the　great　windows。　I　found　the　sense　of

being　a　member　of　this　huge　community　very　pleasing；　yet　there

were　few　among　the　throng　whom　I　knew；　and　that　only　on　terms　of

a　nod　a