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youth-第32部分

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from indulging in those customary students' festivities known as

kutezhi or 〃wines;〃 that winter saw me participate in such a

function; and carry away with me a not over…pleasant impression

of it。 This is how it came about。



At a lecture soon after the New Year; Baron Z。a tall; light…

haired young fellow of very serious demeanour and regular

featuresinvited us all to spend a sociable evening with him。 By

〃us all〃; I mean all the men more or less 〃comme il faut〃; of our

course; and exclusive of Grap; Semenoff; Operoff; and commoners

of that sort。 Woloda smiled contemptuously when he heard that I

was going to a 〃wine〃 of first course men; but I looked to derive

great and unusual pleasure from this; to me; novel method of

passing the time。 Accordingly; punctually at the appointed hour

of eight I presented myself at the Baron's。



Our host; in an open tunic and white waistcoat; received his

guests in the brilliantly lighted salon and drawing…room of the

small mansion where his parents livedthey having given up their

reception rooms to him for the evening for purposes of this

party。 In the corridor could be seen the heads and skirts of

inquisitive domestics; while in the dining…room I caught a

glimpse of a dress which I imagined to belong to the Baroness

herself。 The guests numbered a score; and were all of them

students except Herr Frost (in attendance upon Iwin) and a tall;

red…faced gentleman who was superintending the feast and who was

introduced to every one as a relative of the Baron's and a former

student of the University of Dorpat。 At first; the excessive

brilliancy and formal appointments of the reception…rooms had

such a chilling effect upon this youthful company that every one

involuntarily hugged the walls; except a few bolder spirits and

the ex…Dorpat student; who; with his waistcoat already

unbuttoned; seemed to be in every room; and in every corner of

every room; at once; and filled the whole place with his

resonant; agreeable; never…ceasing tenor voice。 The remainder of

the guests preferred either to remain silent or to talk in

discreet tones of professors; faculties; examinations; and other

serious and interesting matters。 Yet every one; without

exception; kept watching the door of the dining…room; and; while

trying to conceal the fact; wearing an expression which said:

〃Come! It is time to begin。〃 I too felt that it was time to

begin; and awaited the beginning with pleasurable impatience。



After footmen had handed round tea among the guests; the Dorpat

student asked Frost in Russian:



〃Can you make punch; Frost?〃



〃Oh ja!〃 replied Frost with a joyful flourish of his heels; and

the other went on:



〃Then do you set about it〃 (they addressed each other in the

second person singular; as former comrades at Dorpat)。 Frost

accordingly departed to the dining…room; with great strides of

his bowed; muscular legs; and; after some walking backwards and

forwards; deposited upon the drawing…room table a large

punchbowl; accompanied by a ten…pound sugar loaf supported on

three students' swords placed crosswise。 Meanwhile; the Baron had

been going round among his guests as they sat regarding the

punch…bowl; and addressing them; with a face of immutable

gravity; in the formula: 〃I beg of you all to drink of this

loving…cup in student fashion; that there may be good…fellowship

among the members of our course。 Unbutton your waistcoats; or

take them off altogether; as you please。〃 Already the Dorpat

student had divested himself of his tunic and rolled up his

white shirt…sleeves above his elbows; and now; planting his

feet firmly apart; he proceeded to set fire to the rum in the

punch…bowl。



〃Gentlemen; put out the candles!〃 he cried with a sudden shout so

loud and insistent that we seemed all of us to be shouting at

once。 However; we still went on silently regarding the punch…bowl

and the white shirt of the Dorpat student; with a feeling that a

moment of great solemnity was approaching。



〃Put out the lights; Frost; I tell you!〃 the Dorpat student

shouted again。 Evidently the punch was now sufficiently burnt。

Accordingly every one helped to extinguish the candles; until the

room was in total darkness save for a spot where the white shirts

and hands of the three students supporting the sugarloaf on their

crossed swords were lit up by the lurid flames from the bowl。 Yet

the Dorpat student's tenor voice was not the only one to be

heard; for in different quarters of the room resounded chattering

and laughter。 Many had taken off their tunics (especially

students whose garments were of fine cloth and perfectly new);

and I now did the same; with a consciousness that 〃IT〃 was

〃beginning。〃 There had been no great festivity as yet; but I felt

assured that things would go splendidly when once we had begun

drinking tumblers of the potion that was now in course of

preparation。



At length; the punch was ready; and the Dorpat student; with much

bespattering of the table as he did so; ladled the liquor into

tumblers; and cried: 〃Now; gentlemen; please!〃 When we had each

of us taken a sticky tumbler of the stuff into our hands; the

Dorpat student and Frost sang a German song in which the word

〃Hoch!〃 kept occurring again and again; while we joined; in

haphazard fashion; in the chorus。 Next we clinked glasses

together; shouted something in praise of punch; crossed hands;

and took our first drink of the sweet; strong mixture。 After that

there was no further waiting; the 〃wine〃 was in full swing。 The

first glassful consumed; a second was poured out。 Yet; for all

that I began to feel a throbbing in my temples; and that the

flames seemed to be turning purple; and that every one around me

was laughing and shouting; things seemed lacking in real gaiety;

and I somehow felt that; as a matter of fact; we were all of us

finding the affair rather dull; and only PRETENDING to be

enjoying it。 The Dorpat student may have been an exception; for

he continued to grow more and more red in the face and more and

more ubiquitous as he filled up empty glasses and stained the

table with fresh spots of the sweet; sticky stuff。 The precise

sequence of events I cannot remember; but I can recall feeling

strongly attracted towards Frost and the Dorpat student that

evening; learning their German song by heart; and kissing them

each on their sticky…sweet lips; also that that same evening I

conceived a violent hatred against the Dorpat student; and was

for pushing him from his chair; but thought better of it; also

that; besides feeling the same spirit of independence towards the

rest of the company as I had felt on the night of the

matriculation dinner; my head ached and swam so badly that I

thought each moment would be my last; also that; for some reason

or another; we all of us sat down on the floor and imitated the

movements of rowers in a boat as we sang in chorus; 〃Down our

mother stream the Volga;〃 also that I conceived this procedure on

our part to be uncalled for; also that; as I lay prone upon the

floor; I crossed my legs and began wriggling about like a

tsigane; 'Gipsy dancer。' also that I ricked some one's neck; and

came to the; conclusion that I should never have done such a

thing if I had not been drunk; also that we had some supper and

another kind of liquor; and that I then went to the door to get

some fresh air; also that my head seemed suddenly to grow chill;

and that I noticed; as I drove away; that the scat of the vehicle

was so sharply aslant and slippery that for me to retain my

position behind Kuzma was impossible; also that he seemed to have

turned all flabby; and to be waving about like a dish clout。 But

what I remember best is that throughout the whole of that evening

I never ceased to feel that I was acting with excessive stupidity

in pretending to be enjoying myself; to like drinking a great

deal; and to be in no way drunk; as well as that every one else

present was acting with equal stupidity in pretending those same

things。 All the time I had a feeling that each one of my

companions was finding the festivities as distasteful as I was

myself; but; in the belief that he was the only one doing so;

felt himself bound to pretend that he was very merry; in order

not to mar the general hilarity。 Also; strange to state; I felt

that I ought to keep up this pretence for the sole reason that

into a punch…bowl there had been poured three bottles of

champagne at nine roubles the bottle and ten bottles of rum at

fourmaking seventy roubles in all; exclusive of the supper。 So

convinced of my folly did I feel that; when; at next day's

lecture; those of my comrades who had been at Baron Z。's party

seemed not only in no way ashamed to remember what they had done;

but even talked about it so that other students might hear of

their doings; I felt greatly astonished。 They all declared that

it had been a splendid 〃wine;〃 that Dorpat students were just the

fellows for that kind of thing; and that there had been consumed

at it no less than forty bottles of rum among twenty guests; some

of whom had dropped senseless under the table! That they should

care to talk about such things seemed strange enough; but that

they should care to lie about them seemed absolutely

unintelligible。



XL



MY FRIENDSHIP WITH THE NECHLUDOFFS



That winter; too; I saw a great deal both of Dimitri who often

looked us up; and of his family; with whom I was beginning to

stand on intimate terms。



The Nechludoffs (that is to say; mother; aunt; and daughter)

always spent their evenings at home; at which time the Princess

liked young men to visit herat all events young men of the kind

whom she described as able to spend an evening without playing

cards or dancing。 Yet such young fellows must have been few and

far between; for; although I went to the Nechludoffs almost every

evening; I seldom found other gues
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