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youth-第32部分
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from indulging in those customary students' festivities known as
kutezhi or 〃wines;〃 that winter saw me participate in such a
function; and carry away with me a not over…pleasant impression
of it。 This is how it came about。
At a lecture soon after the New Year; Baron Z。a tall; light…
haired young fellow of very serious demeanour and regular
featuresinvited us all to spend a sociable evening with him。 By
〃us all〃; I mean all the men more or less 〃comme il faut〃; of our
course; and exclusive of Grap; Semenoff; Operoff; and commoners
of that sort。 Woloda smiled contemptuously when he heard that I
was going to a 〃wine〃 of first course men; but I looked to derive
great and unusual pleasure from this; to me; novel method of
passing the time。 Accordingly; punctually at the appointed hour
of eight I presented myself at the Baron's。
Our host; in an open tunic and white waistcoat; received his
guests in the brilliantly lighted salon and drawing…room of the
small mansion where his parents livedthey having given up their
reception rooms to him for the evening for purposes of this
party。 In the corridor could be seen the heads and skirts of
inquisitive domestics; while in the dining…room I caught a
glimpse of a dress which I imagined to belong to the Baroness
herself。 The guests numbered a score; and were all of them
students except Herr Frost (in attendance upon Iwin) and a tall;
red…faced gentleman who was superintending the feast and who was
introduced to every one as a relative of the Baron's and a former
student of the University of Dorpat。 At first; the excessive
brilliancy and formal appointments of the reception…rooms had
such a chilling effect upon this youthful company that every one
involuntarily hugged the walls; except a few bolder spirits and
the ex…Dorpat student; who; with his waistcoat already
unbuttoned; seemed to be in every room; and in every corner of
every room; at once; and filled the whole place with his
resonant; agreeable; never…ceasing tenor voice。 The remainder of
the guests preferred either to remain silent or to talk in
discreet tones of professors; faculties; examinations; and other
serious and interesting matters。 Yet every one; without
exception; kept watching the door of the dining…room; and; while
trying to conceal the fact; wearing an expression which said:
〃Come! It is time to begin。〃 I too felt that it was time to
begin; and awaited the beginning with pleasurable impatience。
After footmen had handed round tea among the guests; the Dorpat
student asked Frost in Russian:
〃Can you make punch; Frost?〃
〃Oh ja!〃 replied Frost with a joyful flourish of his heels; and
the other went on:
〃Then do you set about it〃 (they addressed each other in the
second person singular; as former comrades at Dorpat)。 Frost
accordingly departed to the dining…room; with great strides of
his bowed; muscular legs; and; after some walking backwards and
forwards; deposited upon the drawing…room table a large
punchbowl; accompanied by a ten…pound sugar loaf supported on
three students' swords placed crosswise。 Meanwhile; the Baron had
been going round among his guests as they sat regarding the
punch…bowl; and addressing them; with a face of immutable
gravity; in the formula: 〃I beg of you all to drink of this
loving…cup in student fashion; that there may be good…fellowship
among the members of our course。 Unbutton your waistcoats; or
take them off altogether; as you please。〃 Already the Dorpat
student had divested himself of his tunic and rolled up his
white shirt…sleeves above his elbows; and now; planting his
feet firmly apart; he proceeded to set fire to the rum in the
punch…bowl。
〃Gentlemen; put out the candles!〃 he cried with a sudden shout so
loud and insistent that we seemed all of us to be shouting at
once。 However; we still went on silently regarding the punch…bowl
and the white shirt of the Dorpat student; with a feeling that a
moment of great solemnity was approaching。
〃Put out the lights; Frost; I tell you!〃 the Dorpat student
shouted again。 Evidently the punch was now sufficiently burnt。
Accordingly every one helped to extinguish the candles; until the
room was in total darkness save for a spot where the white shirts
and hands of the three students supporting the sugarloaf on their
crossed swords were lit up by the lurid flames from the bowl。 Yet
the Dorpat student's tenor voice was not the only one to be
heard; for in different quarters of the room resounded chattering
and laughter。 Many had taken off their tunics (especially
students whose garments were of fine cloth and perfectly new);
and I now did the same; with a consciousness that 〃IT〃 was
〃beginning。〃 There had been no great festivity as yet; but I felt
assured that things would go splendidly when once we had begun
drinking tumblers of the potion that was now in course of
preparation。
At length; the punch was ready; and the Dorpat student; with much
bespattering of the table as he did so; ladled the liquor into
tumblers; and cried: 〃Now; gentlemen; please!〃 When we had each
of us taken a sticky tumbler of the stuff into our hands; the
Dorpat student and Frost sang a German song in which the word
〃Hoch!〃 kept occurring again and again; while we joined; in
haphazard fashion; in the chorus。 Next we clinked glasses
together; shouted something in praise of punch; crossed hands;
and took our first drink of the sweet; strong mixture。 After that
there was no further waiting; the 〃wine〃 was in full swing。 The
first glassful consumed; a second was poured out。 Yet; for all
that I began to feel a throbbing in my temples; and that the
flames seemed to be turning purple; and that every one around me
was laughing and shouting; things seemed lacking in real gaiety;
and I somehow felt that; as a matter of fact; we were all of us
finding the affair rather dull; and only PRETENDING to be
enjoying it。 The Dorpat student may have been an exception; for
he continued to grow more and more red in the face and more and
more ubiquitous as he filled up empty glasses and stained the
table with fresh spots of the sweet; sticky stuff。 The precise
sequence of events I cannot remember; but I can recall feeling
strongly attracted towards Frost and the Dorpat student that
evening; learning their German song by heart; and kissing them
each on their sticky…sweet lips; also that that same evening I
conceived a violent hatred against the Dorpat student; and was
for pushing him from his chair; but thought better of it; also
that; besides feeling the same spirit of independence towards the
rest of the company as I had felt on the night of the
matriculation dinner; my head ached and swam so badly that I
thought each moment would be my last; also that; for some reason
or another; we all of us sat down on the floor and imitated the
movements of rowers in a boat as we sang in chorus; 〃Down our
mother stream the Volga;〃 also that I conceived this procedure on
our part to be uncalled for; also that; as I lay prone upon the
floor; I crossed my legs and began wriggling about like a
tsigane; 'Gipsy dancer。' also that I ricked some one's neck; and
came to the; conclusion that I should never have done such a
thing if I had not been drunk; also that we had some supper and
another kind of liquor; and that I then went to the door to get
some fresh air; also that my head seemed suddenly to grow chill;
and that I noticed; as I drove away; that the scat of the vehicle
was so sharply aslant and slippery that for me to retain my
position behind Kuzma was impossible; also that he seemed to have
turned all flabby; and to be waving about like a dish clout。 But
what I remember best is that throughout the whole of that evening
I never ceased to feel that I was acting with excessive stupidity
in pretending to be enjoying myself; to like drinking a great
deal; and to be in no way drunk; as well as that every one else
present was acting with equal stupidity in pretending those same
things。 All the time I had a feeling that each one of my
companions was finding the festivities as distasteful as I was
myself; but; in the belief that he was the only one doing so;
felt himself bound to pretend that he was very merry; in order
not to mar the general hilarity。 Also; strange to state; I felt
that I ought to keep up this pretence for the sole reason that
into a punch…bowl there had been poured three bottles of
champagne at nine roubles the bottle and ten bottles of rum at
fourmaking seventy roubles in all; exclusive of the supper。 So
convinced of my folly did I feel that; when; at next day's
lecture; those of my comrades who had been at Baron Z。's party
seemed not only in no way ashamed to remember what they had done;
but even talked about it so that other students might hear of
their doings; I felt greatly astonished。 They all declared that
it had been a splendid 〃wine;〃 that Dorpat students were just the
fellows for that kind of thing; and that there had been consumed
at it no less than forty bottles of rum among twenty guests; some
of whom had dropped senseless under the table! That they should
care to talk about such things seemed strange enough; but that
they should care to lie about them seemed absolutely
unintelligible。
XL
MY FRIENDSHIP WITH THE NECHLUDOFFS
That winter; too; I saw a great deal both of Dimitri who often
looked us up; and of his family; with whom I was beginning to
stand on intimate terms。
The Nechludoffs (that is to say; mother; aunt; and daughter)
always spent their evenings at home; at which time the Princess
liked young men to visit herat all events young men of the kind
whom she described as able to spend an evening without playing
cards or dancing。 Yet such young fellows must have been few and
far between; for; although I went to the Nechludoffs almost every
evening; I seldom found other gues
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