the dwelling place of ligh-第26部分

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reached　it。　　The　sense　of　fate　was　strong　upon　her。　　Curiosity　urged　her；　and；
thanks　to　the　eulogy　she　had　read　of　him　that　day；　to　the　added　impression　of
his　power　conveyed　by　the　trip　through　the　mills；　Ditmar　loomed　larger　than
ever　in　her　consciousness。

〃What　do　you　want　to　say？〃　　she　asked。

〃Oh；　lots　of　things。〃

She　felt　his　hand　slipping　under　her　arm；　his　fingers　pressing　gently　but
firmly　into　her　flesh；　and　the　experience　of　being　impelled　by　a　power　stronger
than　herself；　a　masculine　power；　was　delicious。　　Her　arm　seemed　to　burn　where
he　touched　her。

〃Have　I　done　something　to　offend　you？〃　　she　heard　him　say。　　〃Or　is　it　because
you　don't　like　me？〃

〃I'm　not　sure　whether　I　like　you　or　not；〃　she　told　him。　　〃I　don't　like　seeing
youthis　way。　　And　why　should　you　want　to　know　me　and　see　me　outside　of　the
office？　　I'm　only　your　stenographer。〃

〃Because　you're　youbecause　you're　different　from　any　woman　I　ever　met。　　You
don't　understand　what　you　areyou　don't　see　yourself。〃

〃I　made　up　my　mind　last　night　I　wouldn't　stay　in　your　office　any　longer；〃　she
informed　him。

〃For　God's　sake；　why？〃　he　exclaimed。　　〃I've　been　afraid　of　that。　　Don't　goI
don't　know　what　I'd　do。　　I'll　be　carefulI　won't　get　you　talked　about。〃

〃Talked　about！〃　　She　tore　herself　away　from　him。　　〃Why　should　you　get　me　talked
about？〃　she　cried。

He　was　frightened。　　〃No；　no；〃　he　stammered；　〃I　didn't　mean〃

〃What　did　you　mean？〃

〃Wellas　you　say；　you're　my　stenographer；　but　that's　no　reason　why　we
shouldn't　be　friends。　　I　only　meantI　wouldn't　do　anything　to　make　our
friendship　the　subject　of　gossip。〃

Suddenly　she　began　to　find　a　certain　amusement　in　his　confusion　and　penitence；
she　achieved　a　pleasurable　sense　of　advantage；　of　power　over　him。

〃Why　should　you　want　me？　　I　don't　know　anything；　I've　never　had　any　advantages…
…and　you　have　so　much。　　I　read　an　article　in　the　newspaper　about　you　todayMr。
Caldwell　gave　it　to　me〃

〃Did　you　like　it？〃　he　interrupted；　naively。

〃Well；　in　some　places　it　was　rather　funny。〃

〃Funny？　　How？〃

〃Oh；　I　don't　know。〃　　She　had　been　quick　to　grasp　in　it　the　journalistic　lack　of
restraint　hinted　at　by　Caldwell。　　〃I　liked　it；　but　I　thought　it　praised　you　too
much；　it　didn't　criticize　you　enough。〃

He　laughed。　　In　spite　of　his　discomfort；　he　found　her　candour　refreshing。　　From
the　women　to　whom　he　had　hitherto　made　love　he　had　never　got　anything　but
flattery。

〃I　want　you　to　criticize　me；〃　he　said。

But　she　went　on　relentlessly：

〃When　I　read　in　that　article　how　successful　you　were；　and　how　you'd　got
everything　you'd　started　out　to　get；　and　how　some　day　you　might　be　treasurer
and　president　of　the　Chippering　Mill；　well〃　　Despairing　of　giving　adequate
expression　to　her　meaning；　she　added；　〃I　didn't　see　how　we　could　be　friends。〃

〃You　wanted　me　for　a　friend？〃　he　interrupted　eagerly。


〃I　couldn't　help　knowing　you　wanted　meyou've　shown　it　so　plainly。　　But　I
didn't　see　how　it　could　be。　　You　asked　me　where　I　livedin　a　little　flat
that's　no　better　than　a　tenement。　　I　suppose　you　would　call　it　a　tenement。
It's　dark　and　ugly；　it　only　has　four　rooms；　and　it　smells　of　cooking。　　You
couldn't　come　theredon't　you　see　how　impossible　it　is？　　And　you　wouldn't　care
to　be　talked　about　yourself；　either；〃　she　added　vehemently。

This　defiant　sincerity　took　him　aback。　　He　groped　for　words。

〃Listen！〃　he　urged。　　〃I　don't　want　to　do　anything　you　wouldn't　like；　and
honestly　I　don't　know　what　I'd　do　if　you　left　me。　　I've　come　to　depend　on　you。
And　you　may　not　believe　it；　but　when　I　got　that　Bradlaugh　order　I　thought　of
you；　I　said　to　myself　'She'll　be　pleased；　she'll　help　me　to　put　it　over。'〃

She　thrilled　at　this；　she　even　suffered　him；　for　some　reason　unknown　to
herself；　to　take　her　arm　again。

〃How　could　I　help　you？〃

〃Oh；　in　a　thousand　waysyou　ought　to　know；　you　do　a　good　deal　of　thinking　for
me；　and　you　can　help　me　by　just　being　there。　　I　can't　explain　it；　but　I　feel
somehow　that　things　will　go　right。　　I've　come　to　depend　on　you。〃

He　was　a　little　surprised　to　find　himself　saying　these　things　he　had　not
intended　to　say；　and　the　lighter　touch　he　had　always　possessed　in　dealing　with
the　other　sex；　making　him　the　envied　of　his　friends；　had　apparently　abandoned
him。　　He　was　appalled　at　the　possibility　of　losing　her。

〃I've　never　met　a　woman　like　you；〃　he　went　on；　as　she　remained　silent。　　〃You're
differentI　don't　know　what　it　is　about　you；　but　you　are。〃　　His　voice　was　low；
caressing；　his　head　was　bent　down　to　her；　his　shoulder　pressed　against　her
shoulder。　　〃I've　never　had　a　woman　friend　before；　I've　never　wanted　one　until
now。〃

She　wondered　about　his　wife。

〃You've　got　brainsI've　never　met　a　woman　with　brains。〃

〃Oh；　is　that　why？〃　she　exclaimed。

〃You're　beautiful；〃　he　whispered。　　〃It's　queer；　but　I　didn't　know　it　at　first。
You're　more　beautiful　to…night　than　I've　ever　seen　you。〃

They　had　come　almost　to　Warren　Street。　　Suddenly　realizing　that　they　were
standing　in　the　light；　that　people　were　passing　to　and　fro　over　the　end　of　the
bridge；　she　drew　away　from　him　once　more；　this　time　more　gently。

〃Let's　walk　back　a　little　way；〃　he　proposed。

〃I　must　go　homeit's　late。〃

〃It's　only　nine　o'clock。〃

〃I　have　an　errand　to　do；　and　they'll　expect　me。　　Good　night。〃

〃Just　one　more　turn！〃　he　pleaded。

But　she　shook　her　head；　backing　away　from　him。

〃You'll　see　me　to…morrow；〃　she　told　him。　　She　didn't　know　why　she　said　that。
She　hurried　along　Warren　Street　without　once　looking　over　her　shoulder；　her
feet　seemed　scarcely　to　touch　the　ground；　the　sound　of　music　was　in　her　ears；
the　lights　sparkled。　　She　had　had　an　adventure；　at　last；　an　adventure　that
magically　had　transformed　her　life！　　She　was　beautiful！　　No　one　had　ever　told
her　that　before。　　And　he　had　said　that　he　needed　her。　　She　smiled　as；　with　an
access　of　tenderness；　in　spite　of　his　experience　and　power　she　suddenly　felt
years　older　than　Ditmar。　　She　could　help　him！。。。

She　was　breathless　when　she　reached　the　shop　in　Faber　Street。

〃I　hope　I　haven't　kept　you　waiting；〃　she　said。


〃Oh　no；　we　don't　close　until　ten；〃　answered　the　saleswoman。　　She　was　seated
quietly　sewing　under　the　lamp。

〃I　wonder　whether　you'd　mind　if　I　put　on　my　old　suit　again；　and　carried　this？〃
Janet　asked。

The　expression　of　sympathy　and　understanding　in　the　woman's　eyes；　as　she　rose；
brought　the　blood　swiftly　to　Janet's　face。　　She　felt　that　her　secret　had　been
guessed。　　The　change　effected；　Janet　went　homeward　swiftly；　to　encounter；　on
the　corner　of　Faber　Street；　her　sister　Lise；　whose　attention　was　immediately
attracted　by　the　bundle。

〃What　have　you　got　there；　angel　face？〃　she　demanded。

〃A　new　suit；〃　said　Janet。

〃You　don't　tell　mewhere'd　you　get　it？　at　the　Paris？〃

〃No；　at　Dowling's。〃

〃Say；　I'll　bet　it　was　that　plain　blue　thing　marked　down　to　twenty！〃

〃Well；　what　if　it　was？〃

Lise；　when　surprised　or　scornful；　had　a　peculiarly　irritating　way　of　whistling
through　her　teeth。

〃Twenty　bucks！　　Gee；　you'll　be　getting　your　clothes　in　Boston　next。　　Well；　as
sure　as　I　live　when　I　went　by　that　window　the　other　day　when　they　first　knocked
it　down　I　said　to　Sadie；　‘those　are　the　rags　Janet　would　buy　if　she　had　the
ready。'　　Have　you　got　another　raise　out　of　Ditmar？〃

〃If　I　have；　it　isn't　any　business　of　yours；〃　Janet　retorted。　　〃I've　got　a　right
to　do　as　I　please　with　my　own　money。〃

〃Oh　sure；〃　said　Lise；　and　added　darkly：　〃I　guess　Ditmar　likes　to　see　you　look
well。〃

After　this　Janet　refused　obstinately　to　speak　to　Lise；　to　answer；　when　they
reached　home；　her　pleadings　and　complaints　to　their　mother　that　Janet　had
bought　a　new　suit　and　refused　to　exhibit　it。　　And　finally；　when　they　had　got　to
bed；　Janet　lay　long　awake　in　passionate　revolt　against　this　new　expression　of
the　sordidness　and　lack　of　privacy　in　which　she　was　forced　to　live；　made　the
more　intolerable　by　the　close；　sultry　darkness　of　the　room　and　the　snoring　of
Lise。

In　the　morning；　however；　after　a　groping　period　of　semiconsciousness　during　the
ringing　of　the　bells；　the　siren　startled　her　into　awareness　and　alertness。　　It
had　not　wholly　lost　its　note　of　terror；　but　the　note　had　somehow　become
exhilarating；　an　invitation　to　adventure　and　to　life；　and　Lise's　sarcastic
comments　as　to　the　probable　reasons　why　she　did　not　put　on　the　new　suit　had
host　their　power　of　exasperation。　　Janet　compromised；　wearing　a　blouse　of　china
silk　hitherto　reserved　for　〃best。〃　　The　day　was　bright；　and　she　went　rapidly
toward　the　mill；　glorying　in　the　sunshine　and　the　autumn　sharpness　of　the　air；
and　her　thoughts　were　not　so　much　of　Ditmar　as　of　something　beyond　him；　of
which　he　was　the　medium。　　She　was　going；　not　to　meet　him；　but　to　meet　that。
When　she　reached　the　office　she　felt　weak；　her　fingers　trembled　as　she　took　off
her　hat　and　jacket　and　began　to　sort　out　the　mail。　　And　she　had　to　calm　herself
with　the　assurance　that　her　relationship　with　Ditmar　had　undergone　no　change。
She　had　merely　met　him　by　the　canal；　and　he　had　talked　to　her。　　That　was　all。
He　had；　of　course；　taken　her　arm：　it　tingled　when　she　remembered　it。　　But　when
he　suddenly　entered　the　room　her　heart　gave　a　bound。　　He　closed　the　door；　he
took　off　his　hat；　and　stood　gazing　at　herwhile　she　continued　arranging
letters。　　Presently　she　was　forced　to　glance　at　him。　　His　bearing；　his　look；
his　confident　smile　all　proclaimed　that　he；　at　least；　believed　things　to　be
changed。　　He　glowed　with　health　and　vigour；　with　an　aggressiveness　from　which
she　shrank；　yet　found　delicious。

〃How　are　you　this　morning？〃　　he　said　at　lastthis　morning　as　distinguished
from　all　other　mornings。

〃I'm　well；　as　usual；〃　she　answered。　　She　herself　was　sometimes　surprised　by　her
ability　to　remain　outwardly　calm。

〃Why　did　you　run　away　from　me　last　night？〃

〃I　didn't　run　away；　I　had　to　go　home；〃　she　said；　still　arranging　the　letters。

〃We　could　have　had　a　little　walk。　　I　don't　believe　you　had　to　go　home　at　all。
You　just　wanted　an　excuse　to　get　away　from　me。〃

〃I　didn't　need　an　excuse；〃　she　told　him。　　He　moved　toward　her；　but　she　took　a
paper　from　the　desk　and　carried　it　to　a　file　across　the　room。

〃I　thought　we　were　going　to　be　friends；〃　he　said。

〃Being　friends　does