benita-第3部分

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believe　that　my　father　still　has　something　to　do　with　himat　least　in

one　of　his　letters　he　mentioned　his　partner；　who　was　a　German。〃



〃A　German！　I　think　that　he　must　have　meant　a　German　Jew。〃



After　this　there　was　silence　between　them　for　a　time；　then　he　said

suddenly；　〃You　have　told　me　your　story；　would　you　like　to　hear　mine？〃



〃Yes；〃　she　answered。



〃Well；　it　won't　take　you　long　to　listen　to　it；　for；　Miss　Clifford；

like　Canning's　needy　knife…grinder；　I　have　really　none　to　tell。　You

see　before　you　one　of　the　most　useless　persons　in　the　world；　an

undistinguished　member　of　what　is　called　in　England　the　'leisured

class；'　who　can　do　absolutely　nothing　that　is　worth　doing；　except

shoot　straight。〃



〃Indeed；〃　said　Benita。



〃You　do　not　seem　impressed　with　that　accomplishment；〃　he　went　on；　〃yet

it　is　an　honest　fact　that　for　the　last　fifteen　yearsI　was　thirty…two

this　monthpractically　my　whole　time　has　been　given　up　to　it；　with　a

little　fishing　thrown　in　in　the　spring。　As　I　want　to　make　the　most　of

myself；　I　will　add　that　I　am　supposed　to　be　among　the　six　best　shots

in　England；　and　that　my　ambitionyes；　great　Heavens！　my　ambitionwas

to　become　better　than　the　other　five。　By　that　sin　fell　the　poor　man

who　speaks　to　you。　I　was　supposed　to　have　abilities；　but　I　neglected

them　all　to　pursue　this　form　of　idleness。　I　entered　no　profession；　I

did　no　work；　with　the　result　that　at　thirty…two　I　am　ruined　and　almost

hopeless。〃



〃Why　ruined　and　hopeless？〃　she　asked　anxiously；　for　the　way　in　which

they　were　spoken　grieved　her　more　than　the　words　themselves。



〃Ruined　because　my　old　uncle；　the　Honourable　John　Seymour　Seymour；

whose　heir　I　was；　committed　the　indiscretion　of　marrying　a　young　lady

who　has　presented　him　with　thriving　twins。　With　the　appearance　of

those　twins　my　prospects　disappeared；　as　did　the　allowance　of　￡1；500　a

year　that　he　was　good　enough　to　make　me　on　which　to　keep　up　a　position

as　his　next…of…kin。　I　had　something　of　my　own；　but　also　I　had　debts；

and　at　the　present　moment　a　draft　in　my　pocket　for　￡2；163　14s。　5d。；

and　a　little　loose　cash；　represents　the　total　of　my　worldly　goods；

just　about　the　sum　I　have　been　accustomed　to　spend　per　annum。〃



〃I　don't　call　that　ruin；　I　call　that　riches；〃　said　Benita；　relieved。

〃With　￡2；000　to　begin　on　you　may　make　a　fortune　in　Africa。　But　how

about　the　hopelessness？〃



〃I　am　hopeless　because　I　have　absolutely　nothing　to　which　to　look

forward。　Really；　when　that　￡2；000　is　gone　I　do　not　know　how　to　earn　a

sixpence。　In　this　dilemma　it　occurred　to　me　that　the　only　thing　I

could　do　was　to　turn　my　shooting　to　practical　account；　and　become　a

hunter　of　big　game。　Therefore　I　propose　to　kill　elephants　until　an

elephant　kills　me。　At　least；〃　he　added　in　a　changed　voice；　〃I　did　so

propose　until　half　an　hour　ago。〃







II



THE　END　OF　THE　〃ZANZIBAR。〃



〃Until　half　an　hour　ago？　Then　why〃　and　Benita　stopped。



〃Have　I　changed　my　very　modest　scheme　of　life？　Miss　Clifford；　as　you

are　so　good　as　to　be　sufficiently　interested；　I　will　tell　you。　It　is

because　a　temptation　which　hitherto　I　have　been　able　to　resist；　has

during　the　last　thirty　minutes　become　too　strong　for　me。　You　know

everything　has　its　breaking　strain。〃　He　puffed　nervously　at　his　cigar；

threw　it　into　the　sea；　paused；　then　went　on：　〃Miss　Clifford；　I　have

dared　to　fall　in　love　with　you。　No；　hear　me　out。　When　I　have　done　it

will　be　quite　time　enough　to　give　me　the　answer　that　I　expect。

Meanwhile；　for　the　first　time　in　my　life；　allow　me　the　luxury　of　being

in　earnest。　To　me　it　is　a　new　sensation；　and　therefore　very　priceless。

May　I　go　on？〃



Benita　made　no　answer。　He　rose　with　a　certain　deliberateness　which

characterized　all　his　movementsfor　Robert　Seymour　never　seemed　to　be

in　a　hurryand　stood　in　front　of　her　so　that　the　moonlight　shone　upon

her　face；　while　his　own　remained　in　shadow。



〃Beyond　that　￡2；000　of　which　I　have　spoken；　and　incidentally　its

owner；　I　have　nothing　whatsoever　to　offer　to　you。　I　am　an　indigent　and

worthless　person。　Even　in　my　prosperous　days；　when　I　could　look

forward　to　a　large　estate；　although　it　was　often　suggested　to　me；　I

never　considered　myself　justified　in　asking　any　lady　to　sharethe

prospective　estate。　I　think　now　that　the　real　reason　was　that　I　never

cared　sufficiently　for　any　lady；　since　otherwise　my　selfishness　would

probably　have　overcome　my　scruples；　as　it　does　to…night。　Benita；　for　I

will　call　you　so；　if　for　the　first　and　last　time；　IIlove　you。



〃Listen　now；〃　he　went　on；　dropping　his　measured　manner；　and　speaking

hurriedly；　like　a　man　with　an　earnest　message　and　little　time　in　which

to　deliver　it；　〃it　is　an　odd　thing；　an　incomprehensible　thing；　but

true；　trueI　fell　in　love　with　you　the　first　time　I　saw　your　face。

You　remember；　you　stood　there　leaning　over　the　bulwark　when　I　came　on

board　at　Southampton；　and　as　I　walked　up　the　gangway；　I　looked　and　my

eyes　met　yours。　Then　I　stopped；　and　that　stout　old　lady　who　got　off　at

Madeira　bumped　into　me；　and　asked　me　to　be　good　enough　to　make　up　my

mind　if　I　were　going　backward　or　forward。　Do　you　remember？〃



〃Yes；〃　she　answered　in　a　low　voice。



〃Which　things　are　an　allegory；〃　he　continued。　〃I　felt　it　so　at　the

time。　Yes；　I　had　half　a　mind　to　answer　'Backward'　and　give　up　my　berth

in　this　ship。　Then　I　looked　at　you　again；　and　something　inside　of　me

said　'Forward。'　So　I　came　up　the　rest　of　the　gangway　and　took　off　my

hat　to　you；　a　salutation　I　had　no　right　to　make；　but　which；　I　recall；

you　acknowledged。〃



He　paused；　then　continued：　〃As　it　began；　so　it　has　gone　on。　It　is

always　like　that；　is　it　not？　The　beginning　is　everything；　the　end　must

follow。　And　now　it　has　come　out；　as　I　was　fully　determined　that　it

should　not　do　half　an　hour　ago；　when　suddenly　you　developed　eyes　in

the　back　of　your　head；　andoh！　dearest；　I　love　you。　No；　please　be

quiet；　I　have　not　done。　I　have　told　you　what　I　am；　and　really　there

isn't　much　more　to　say　about　me；　for　I　have　no　particular　vices　except

the　worst　of　them　all；　idleness；　and　not　the　slightest　trace　of　any

virtue　that　I　can　discover。　But　I　have　a　certain　knowledge　of　the

world　acquired　in　a　long　course　of　shooting　parties；　and　as　a　man　of

the　world　I　will　venture　to　give　you　a　bit　of　advice。　It　is　possible

that　to　you　my　life　and　death　affair　is　a　mere　matter　of　board…ship

amusement。　Yet　it　is　possible　also　that　you　might　take　another　view　of

the　matter。　In　that　case；　as　a　friend　and　a　man　of　the　world；　I

entreat　youdon't。　Have　nothing　to　do　with　me。　Send　me　about　my

business；　you　will　never　regret　it。〃



〃Are　you　making　fun；　or　is　all　this　meant；　Mr。　Seymour？〃　asked　Benita；

still　speaking　beneath　her　breath；　and　looking　straight　before　her。



〃Meant？　Of　course　it　is　meant。　How　can　you　ask？〃



〃Because　I　have　always　understood　that　on　such　occasions　people　wish

to　make　the　best　of　themselves。〃



〃Quite　so；　but　I　never　do　what　I　ought；　a　fact　for　which　I　am　grateful

now　come　to　think　of　it；　since　otherwise　I　should　not　be　here

to…night。　I　wish　to　make　the　worst　of　myself；　the　very　worst；　for

whatever　I　am　not；　at　least　I　am　honest。　Now　having　told　you　that　I

am；　or　was　half　an　hour　ago；　an　idler；　a　good…for…nothing；

prospectless　failure；　I　ask　youif　you　care　to　hear　any　more？〃



She　half　rose；　and；　glancing　at　him　for　the　first　time；　saw　his　face

contract　itself　and　turn　pale　in　the　moonlight。　It　may　be　that　the

sight　of　it　affected　her；　even　to　the　extent　of　removing　some　adverse

impression　left　by　the　bitter　mocking　of　his　self…blame。　At　any　rate；

Benita　seemed　to　change　her　mind；　and　sat　down　again；　saying：



〃Go　on；　if　you　wish。〃



He　bowed　slightly；　and　said：



〃I　thank　you。　I　have　told　you　what　I　/was/　half　an　hour　ago；　now；

hoping　that　you　will　believe　me；　I　will　tell　you　what　I　/am/。　I　am　a

truly　repentant　man；　one　upon　whom　a　new　light　has　risen。　I　am　not

very　old；　and　I　think　that　underneath　it　all　I　have　some　ability。

Opportunity　may　still　come　my　way；　if　it　does　not；　for　your　sake　I

will　make　the　opportunity。　I　do　not　believe　that　you　can　ever　find

anyone　who　would　love　you　better　or　care　for　you　more　tenderly。　I

desire　to　live　for　you　in　the　future；　more　completely　even　than　in　the

past　I　have　lived　for　myself。　I　do　not　wish　to　influence　you　by

personal　appeals；　but　in　fact　I　stand　at　the　parting　of　the　ways。　If

you　will　give　yourself　to　me　I　feel　as　though　I　might　still　become　a

husband　of　whom　you　could　be　proudif　not；　I　write　'Finis'　upon　the

tombstone　of　the　possibilities　of　Robert　Seymour。　I　adore　you。　You　are

the　one　woman　with　whom　I　desire　to　pass　my　days；　it　is　you　who　have

always　been　lacking　to　my　life。　I　ask　you　to　be　brave；　to　take　the

risk　of　marrying　me；　although　I　can　see　nothing　but　poverty　ahead　of

us；　for　I　am　an　adventurer。〃



〃Don't　speak　like　that；〃　she　said　quickly。　〃We　are　all　of　us

adventurers　in　this　world；　and　I　more　than　you。　We　have　just　to

consider　ourselves；　not　what　we　have　or　have　not。〃



〃So　be　it；　Miss　Clifford。　Then　I　have　nothing　more　to　say；　now　it　is

for　you　to　answer。〃



Just　then　the　sound　of　the　piano　and　the　fiddle　in　the　saloon　ceased。

One　of　the　waltzes　was　over；　and　some　of　the　dancers　came　upon　deck　to

flirt　or　to　cool　themselves。　One　pair；　engaged　very　obviously　in　the

former　occupation；　stationed　themselves　so　near　to　Robert　and　Benita

that　further　conversation　between　them　was　impossible；　and　there

proceeded　to　interchange　the　remarks　common　to　such　occasions。



For　a　good　ten　minutes　did　they　stand　thus；　carrying　on　a　mock　quarrel

as　to　a　dance　of　which　one　of　them　was　supposed　to　have　been

defrauded；　until　Robert　Seymour；　generally　a　very　philosophical

person；　could　have　slain　those　innocent　lovers。　He　felt；　he　knew　not

why；　that　his　chances　were　slipping　away　from　him；　that　sensation　of

something　bad　about　to　happen；　of　which　Benita　had　spoken；　spread　from

her