ragged lady, v2-第30部分

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something。　　But　it　is　strange。　　Sometimes　it　doesn't　seem　as　if　it　had
happened。〃

〃I　think　I　can　understand；　Clementina。〃

〃I　feel　sometimes　as　if　I　hadn't　happened　myself。〃　　She　stopped；　with　a
patient　little　sigh；　and　passed　her　hand　across　the　child's　forehead；
in　a　mother's　fashion；　and　smoothed　her　hair　from　it；　bending　over　to
look　down　into　her　face。　　〃We　think　she　has　her　fatha's　eyes；〃　she　said。

〃Yes；　she　has；〃　Miss　Milray　assented；　noting　the　upward　slant　of　the
child's　eyes；　which　gave　his　quaintness　to　her　beauty。　　〃He　had
fascinating　eyes。〃

After　a　moment　Clementina　asked；　〃Do　you　believe　that　the　looks　are　all
that　ah'　left？〃

Miss　Milray　reflected。　　〃I　know　what　you　mean。　　I　should　say　character
was　left；　and　personalitysomewhere。〃

〃I　used　to　feel　as　if　it　we'e　left　here；　at　fustas　if　he　must　come
back。　　But　that　had　to　go。〃

〃Yes。〃

〃Everything　seems　to　go。　　After　a　while　even　the　loss　of　him　seemed　to
go。〃

〃Yes；　losses　go　with　the　rest。〃

〃That's　what　I　mean　by　its　seeming　as　if　it　never　any　of　it　happened。
Some　things　before　it　are　a　great　deal　more　real。〃

〃Little　things？〃

〃Not　exactly。　　But　things　when　I　was　very　young。〃　　Miss　Milray　did　not
know　quite　what　she　intended；　but　she　knew　that　Clementina　was　feeling
her　way　to　something　she　wanted　to　say；　and　she　let　her　alone。　　〃When　it
was　all　over；　and　I　knew　that　as　long　as　I　lived　he　would　be　somewhere
else；　I　tried　to　be　paht　of　the　wo'ld　I　was　left　in。　　Do　you　think　that
was　right？〃

〃It　was　wise；　and；　yes；　it　was　best；〃　said　Miss　Milray；　and　for　relief
from　the　tension　which　was　beginning　to　tell　upon　her　own　nerves；　she
asked；　〃I　suppose　you　know　about　my　poor　brother？　　I'd　better　tell　you　to
keep　you　from　asking　for　Mrs。　Milray；　though　I　don't　know　that　it's　so
very　painful　with　him。　　There　isn't　any　Mrs。　Milray　now；〃　she　added；　and
she　explained　why。

Neither　of　them　cared　for　Mrs。　Milray；　and　they　did　not　pretend　to　be
concerned　about　her；　but　Clementina　said；　vaguely；　as　if　in　recognition
of　Mrs。　Milray's　latest　experiment；　〃Do　you　believe　in　second　marriages？〃

Miss　Milray　laughed；　〃Well；　not　that　kind　exactly。〃

〃No；〃　Clementina　assented；　and　she　colored　a　little。

Miss　Milray　was　moved　to　add；　〃But　if　you　mean　another　kind；　I　don't　see
why　not。　　My　own　mother　was　married　twice。〃

〃Was　she？〃　Clementina　looked　relieved　and　encouraged；　but　she　did　not　say
any　more　at　once。　　Then　she　asked；　〃Do　you　know　what　ever　became　of　Mr。
Belsky？〃

〃Yes。　　He's　taken　his　title　again；　and　gone　back　to　live　in　Russia；　he's
made　peace　with　the　Czar；　I　believe。〃

〃That's　nice；〃　said　Clementina；　and　Miss　Milray　made　bold　to　ask：

〃And　what　has　become　of　Mr。　Gregory？〃

Clementina　answered；　as　Miss　Milray　thought；　tentatively　and　obliquely：
〃You　know　his　wife　died。〃

〃No；　I　never　knew　that　she　lived。〃

〃Yes。　　They　went　out　to　China；　and　she　died　the'a。〃

〃And　is　he　there　yet？　　But　of　course！　　He　could　never　have　given　up　being
a　missionary。〃

〃Well；〃　said　Clementina；　〃　he　isn't　in　China。　　His　health　gave　out；　and
he　had　to　come　home。　　He's　in…Middlemount　Centa。〃

Miss　Milray　suppressed　the　〃Oh！〃　that　all　but　broke　from　her　lips。
〃Preaching　to　the　heathen；　there？〃　　she　temporized。

〃To　the　summa　folks；〃　Clementina　explained；　innocent　of　satire。　　〃They
have　got　a　Union　Chapel　the'a；　now；　and　Mr。　Gregory　has　been　preaching
all　summa。〃　　There　seemed　nothing　more　that　Miss　Milray　could　prompt　her
to　say；　but　it　was　not　quite　with　surprise　that　she　heard　Clementina
continue；　as　if　it　were　part　of　the　explanation；　and　followed　from　the
fact　she　had　stated；　〃He　wants　me　to　marry　him。〃

Miss　Milray　tried　to　emulate　her　calm　in　asking；　〃And　shall　you？〃

〃I　don't　know。　　I　told　him　I　would　see；　he　only　asked　me　last　night。　　It
would　be　kind　of　natural。　　He　was　the　fust。　　You　may　think　it　is
strange〃

Miss　Milray；　in　the　superstition　of　her　old…maidenhood　concerning　love；
really　thought　it　cold…blooded　and　shocking；　but　she　said；　〃Oh；　no。〃

Clementina　resumed：　〃And　he　says　that　if　it　was　right　for　me　to　stop
caring　for　him　when　I　did；　it　is　right　now　for　me　to　ca'e　for　him　again；
where　the'e's　no　one　to　be　hu't　by　it。　　Do　you　think　it　is？〃

〃Yes；　why　not？〃　Miss　Milray　was　forced　to　the　admission　against　what　she
believed　the　finer　feelings　'of　her　nature。

Clementina　sighed；　〃I　suppose　he's　right。　　I　always　thought　he　was　good。
Women　don't　seem　to　belong　very　much　to　themselves　in　this　wo'ld；　do
they？〃

〃No；　they　seem　to　belong　to　the　men；　either　because　they　want　the　men；　or
the　men　want　them；　it　comes　to　the　same　thing。　　I　suppose　you　don't　wish
me　to　advise　you；　my　dear？〃

〃No。　　I　presume　it's　something　I've　got　to　think　out　for　myself。〃

〃But　I　think　he's　good；　too。　　I　ought　to　say　that　much；　for　I　didn't
always　stand　his　friend　with　you。　　If　Mr。　Gregory　has　any　fault　it's
being　too　scrupulous。〃

〃You　mean；　about　that　old　troubleour　not　believing　just　the　same？〃
Miss　Milray　meant　something　much　more　temperamental　than　that；　but　she
allowed　Clementina　to　limit　her　meaning；　and　Clementina　went　on。
〃He's　changed　all　round　now。　　He　thinks　it's　all　in　the　life。　　He　says
that　in　China　they　couldn't　understand　what　he　believed；　but　they　could
what　he　lived。　　And　he　knows　I　neva　could　be　very　religious。〃

It　was　in　Miss　Milray's　heart　to　protest；　〃　Clementina；　I　think　you　are
one　of　the　most　religious　persons　I　ever　knew；〃　but　she　forebore；　because
the　praise　seemed　to　her　an　invasion　of　Clementina's　dignity。　　She　merely
said；　〃Well；　I　am　glad　he　is　one　of　those　who　grow　more　liberal　as　they
grow　older。　　That　is　a　good　sign　for　your　happiness。　　But　I　dare　say　it's
more　of　his　happiness　you　think。〃

〃Oh；　I　should　like　to　be　happy；　too。　　There　would　be　no　sense　in　it　if　I
wasn't。〃

〃No；　certainly　not。〃

〃Miss　Milray；〃　said　Clementina；　with　a　kind　of　abruptness；　〃do　you　eva
hear　anything　from　Dr。　Welwright？〃

〃No！　　Why？〃　Miss　Milray　fastened　her　gaze　vividly　upon　her。

〃Oh；　nothing。　　He　wanted　me　to　promise　him；　there　in　Venice；　too。〃

〃I　didn't　know　it。〃

〃Yes。　　ButI　couldn't；　then。　　And　nowhe's　written　to　me。　　He　wants　me
to　let　him　come　ova；　and　see　me。〃

〃Andand　will　you？〃　asked　Miss　Milray；　rather　breathlessly。

〃I　don't　know。　　I　don't　know　as　I'd　ought。　　I　should　like　to　see　him；　so
as　to　be　puffectly　su'a。　　But　if　I　let　him　come；　and　then　didn't　It
wouldn't　be　right！　　I　always　felt　as　if　I'd　ought　to　have　seen　then　that
he　ca'ed　for　me；　and　stopped　him；　but　I　didn't。　　No；　I　didn't；〃　she
repeated；　nervously。　　〃I　respected　him；　and　I　liked　him；　but　I　neva〃
She　stopped；　and　then　she　asked；　〃What　do　you　think　I'd　ought　to　do；　Miss
Milray？〃

Miss　Milray　hesitated。　　She　was　thinking　superficially　that　she　had　never
heard　Clementina　say　had　ought；　so　much；　if　ever　before。　　Interiorly　she
was　recurring　to　a　sense　of　something　like　all　this　before；　and　to　the
feeling　which　she　had　then　that　Clementina　was　really　cold…blooded　and
self…seeking。　　But　she　remembered　that　in　her　former　decision；　Clementina
had　finally　acted　from　her　heart　and　her　conscience；　and　she　rose　from
her　suspicion　with　a　rebound。　　She　dismissed　as　unworthy　of　Clementina
any　theory　which　did　not　account　for　an　ideal　of　scrupulous　and　unselfish
justice　in　her。

〃That　is　something　that　nobody　can　say　but　yourself；　Clementina；〃　she
answered；　gravely。

〃Yes；〃　sighed　Clementina；　〃I　presume　that　is　so。〃

She　rose；　and　took　her　little　girl　from　Miss　Milray's　knee。　　〃Say　good…
bye；〃　she　bade；　looking　tenderly　down　at　her。

Miss　Milray　expected　the　child　to　put　up　her　lips　to　be　kissed。　　But　she
let　go　her　mother's　hand；　took　her　tiny　skirts　between　her　finger…tips；
and　dropped　a　curtsey。

〃You　little　witch！〃　cried　Miss　Milray。　　〃I　want　a　hug；〃　and　she　crushed
her　to　her　breast；　while　the　child　twisted　her　face　round　and　anxiously
questioned　her　mother's　for　her　approval。　　〃Tell　her　it'；s　all　right；
Clementina！〃　cried　Miss　Milray。　　〃When　she's　as　old　as　you　were　in
Florence；　I'm　going　to　make　you　give　her　to　me。〃

〃Ah'　you　going　back　to　Florence？〃　asked　Clementina；　provisionally。

〃Oh；　no！　　You　can't　go　back　to　anything。　　That's　what　makes　New　York　so
impossible。　　I　think　we　shall　go　to　Los　Angeles。〃




XL。

On　her　way　home　Clementina　met　a　man　walking　swiftly　forward。　　A　sort　of
impassioned　abstraction　expressed　itself　in　his　gait　and　bearing。　　They
had　both　entered　the　shadow　of　the　deep　pine　woods　that　flanked　the　way
on　either　side；　and　the　fallen　needles　helped　with　the　velvety　summer
dust　of　the　roadway　to　hush　their　steps　from　each　other。　　She　saw　him　far
off；　but　he　was　not　aware　of　her　till　she　was　quite　near　him。

〃Oh！〃　he　said；　with　a　start。　　〃You　filled　my　mind　so　full　that　I　couldn't
have　believed　you　were　anywhere　outside　of　it。　　I　was　coming　to　get　you
I　was　coming　to　get　my　answer。〃

Gregory　had　grown　distinctly　older。　　Sickness　and　hardship　had　left
traces　in　his　wasted　face；　but　the　full　beard　he　wore　helped　to　give　him
an　undue　look　of　age。

〃I　don't　know；〃　said　Clementina；　slowly；　〃as　I've　got　an　answa　fo'　you；
Mr。　Gregoryyet。〃

〃No　answer　is　better　that　the　one　I　am　afraid　of！〃

〃Oh；　I'm　not　so　sure　of　that；〃　she　said；　with　gentle　perplexity；　as　she
stood；　holding　the　hand　of　her　little　girl；　who　stared　shyly　at　the
intense　face　of　the　man　before　her。

〃I　am；〃　he　retorted。　　〃I　have　been　thinking　it　all　ever；　Clementina。
I've　tried　not　to　think　selfishly　about　it；　but　I　can't　pretend　that　my
wish　isn't　selfish。　　It　is！　　I　want　you　for　myself；　and　because　I've
always　wanted　you；　and　not　for　any　other　reason。　　I　never　cared　for　any
one　but　you　in　the　way　I　cared　for　you；　and〃

〃Oh！〃　she　grieved。　　〃I　never　ca'ed　at　all　for　you　after　I　saw　him。〃

〃I　know　it　must　be　shocking　to　you；　I　haven't　told　you　with　any　wretched
hope　that　it　would　commend　me　to　you！〃

〃I　don't　say　it　was　so　very　bad；〃　said　Clementina；　reflectively；　〃if　it
was　something　you　couldn't　help。〃

〃It　was　something　I　couldn't　help。　　Perhaps　I　didn't　try　。〃

〃Did…she　know　it？〃

〃She　knew　it　from　the　first；　I　told　her　before　we　were　married。〃

Clementina　drew　back　a　little；　insensibly　pulling　her　child　with　her。
〃I　do