the use and need of the life of carrie a. nation-第6部分

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strongest　characteristics　of　my　life　were　awakened　in　my　childhood。　I
would　often　blush　with　shame；　when　committing　sins；　and　I　had　a　great
fear　of　the　judgement　day；　it　would　terrify　me　when　hearing　of　Jesus
coming　to　the　earth。　I　would　often　ask　myself：　〃Where　can　I　hide？〃
If　the　public　knew　of　the　smashing　God　gave　me　the　strength　to　do　in　my
heart；　they　would　not　wonder　at　my　courage　in　smashing　the　murder…
shops　of　our　land。　〃He　that　ruleth　his　own　spirit；　is　greater　than　he　that
taketh　a　city。〃

In　1855；　we　moved　to　Missouri；　just　a　year　before　the　trouble　broke
out　between　Kansas　and　Missouri。　Missouri　determined　to　make　Kansas
a　slave　state；　but　Kansas　said　she　would　not　have　a　slave　upon　her　soil。
Squads　of　men　in　Missouri　would　often　go　into　Kansas　and　commit　depredations。
At　one　time　they　burned　Lawrence；　Kansas；　and　killed　many
people。　This　trouble　continued　to　grow　worse　until　it　brought　on　the　great
Civil　War。

When　we　moved　from　Kentucky　to　Missouri；　I　took　a　severe　cold　on
the　boat；　which　made　me　an　invalid　for　years。　I　was　not　a　truthful　child；
neither　was　I　honest。　My　mother　was　very　strict　with　me　in　many　ways
and　I　would　often　tell　her　lies　to　avoid　restraint　or　punishment。　If　there
was　anything　I　wanted　about　the　house；　especially　something　to　eat；　I
would　steal　it；　if　I　could。　The　colored　servants　would　often　ask　me　to
steal　things　for　them。　My　nurse　Betsy；　would　say：　〃Carry　get　me
a　cup　of　sugar；　butter；　thread　or　needles；〃　and　many　other　things。
This　would　make　me　sly　and　dishonest。　I　used　to　go　and　see　my　aunts　and
stay　for　months。　I　would　open　their　boxes　and　bureau　drawers　and　steal
ribbons　and　laces　and　make　doll　clothes　out　of　them。　I　would　steal　perfumery
and　would　run　out　of　the　room　to　prevent　them　from　smelling　it。
I　am　telling　this　for　a　purpose。　Many　little　children　may　be　doing　what
I　did；　not　thinking　of　what　a　serious　thing　it　is；　and　I　write　this　to　show
them　how　I　was　cured　of　dishonesty：　I　got　a　little　book　at　Sunday　school
and　it　told　the　way　people　became　thieves；　by　beginning　to　take　little　things
naming　them；　and　some　of　these　were　the　very　things　I　had　been　taking。
I　was　greatly　shocked　to　see　myself　a　thief；　it　had　never　occurred　to
me　that　I　was　as　bad　as　that。　I　thought　one　had　to　steal　something　of
great　value　to　be　a　thief。　My　repentance　was　sincere；　and　I　was　made　honest
by　this　blessed　book；　so　much　so　that　even　after　I　became　grown；
if　any　article　was　left　in　my　house　I　would　give　it　away；　unless　I　could
find　the　owner。　I　was　perfectly　delighted　when　I　was　entirely　free。　I　asked
for　everything　I　wanted；　even　a　pin。　After　that；　I　could　show　my　doll
clothes；　and　it　was　not　necessary　for　me　to　be　sly　or　tell　stories　any　more。
It　was　about　this　time　I　was　converted。　There　was　a　protracted　meeting
at　a　place　called　Hickman's　Mill；　Jackson　County；　Missouri。　The
minister　was　gray　haired　and　belonged　to　the　Christian　or　Disciples
church；　the　one　my　father　belonged　to。　I　was　at　this　time　ten　years
old　and　went　with　my　father　to　church　on　Lord's　Day　morning。　At
the　close　of　the　sermon；　and　during　the　invitation；　my　father　stepped
to　the　pulpit　and　spoke　to　the　minister　and　he　looked　over　in　my
direction。　At　this　I　began　to　weep　bitterly；　seemed　to　be　taken　up；　and　sat
down　on　the　front　bench。　I　could　not　have　told　any　one　what　I　wept　for；
except　it　was　a　longing　to　be　better。　I　had　often　thought　before　this
that　I　was　in　danger　of　going　to　the　〃Bad　place；〃　especially　I　would　be
afraid　to　think　of　the　time　that　I　should　see　Jesus　come。　I　wanted　to　hide
from　Him。　My　father　had　a　cousin　living　at　Hickman's　Mill；　Ben　Robertson。
His　wife；　cousin　Jennie；　came　up　to　me　at　the　close　of　the　service；
and　said：　〃Carry；　I　believe　you　know　what　you　are　doing。〃　But　I　did　not。
Oh；　how　I　wanted　some　one　to　explain　to　me。　The　next　day　I　was　taken　to
a　running　stream　about　two　miles　away；　and；　although　it　was　quite　cold
and　some　ice　in　the　water；　I　felt　no　fear。　It　seemed　like　a　dream。　I　know
God　will　bless　the　ordinance　of　baptism；　for　the　little　Carry　that　walked
into　the　water　was　different　from　the　one　who　walked　out。　I　said　no　word。
I　felt　that　I　could　not　speak；　for　fear　of　disturbing　the　peace　that　is
past　understanding。　Kind　hands　wrapped　me　up　and　I　felt　no　chill。　I
felt　the　responsibility　of　my　new　relation　and　tried　hard　to　do　right。

A　few　days　after　this　I　was　at　my　aunt　Kate　Doneghy's。　Uncle
James；　or　〃Jim；〃　we　called　him；　her　husband；　was　not　a　Christian。　He
shocked　me　one　day　by　saying：　〃So　those　Campbellites　took　you　to　the
creek；　and　soused　you；　did　they　'Cal'？〃　（A　nick　name。）　What　a　blow！
My　aunt　seemed　also　shocked　to　have　him　speak　thus　to　me。　I　left
the　room　and　avoided　meeting　him　again。　How　he　crushed　me！　It
had　the　effect　to　make　me　feel　like　a　criminal。

The　Protestant　Church　here　makes　a　fatal　error　which　the　Catholics
avoid。　The　ministers　of　the　latter　have　all　young　converts　come　so
often　to　them　for　instruction。　A　child　may　be　born；　but　not　being　nursed
and　fed；　it　will　die。　God　has　command　them　to　be　fed　in　the　sincere
milk　of　the　word。　My　greatest　hindrance　has　been　from　the　lack　of
proper　Christian　teaching。　I　love　the　memory　of　my　father；　he　used
to　have　me　read　the　bible　to　him；　and　while　I　did　not　enjoy　it　then；　it
is　a　blessed　memory。　The　family　altar　is　essential　to　the　welfare　of
every　home；　no　other　form　of　discipline　is　equal　to　it。　The　liberty；
chivalry；　and　life　of　a　nation　live　or　die　in　proportion　as　the　Altar　fires
live　or　die。

〃And　these　words　which　I　command　thee　this　day　shall　be　in　thine
heart　and　thou　shalt　teach　them　diligently　unto　thy　children　and　shalt
talk　of　them　when　thou　sittest　in　thine　house　and　when　thou　walkest　by
the　way　and　when　thou　liest　down　and　when　thou　risest　up。〃

When　I　was　fifteen；　the　war　broke　out　between　the　north　and　the
south。　My　father　saw　that　Missouri　would　be　the　battle　ground　and　he；
with　many　others；　took　their　families　and　negroes　and　went　south；　taking
what　they　could　in　wagons；　for　there　were　no　railroads　then　in　that　section。
There　was　quite　a　train　with　the　droves　of　cattle；　mules　and　horses。
One　wagon　had　six　yoke　of　oxen　to　it；　had　to　get　into　it　by　a　ladder；
the　kind　that　was　used　to　freight　across　the　plains。　The　family
went　in　the　family　carriage　that　my　father　brought　from　Kentucky。
I　remember　the　time　when　this　carriage　was　purchased；　with　the　two
dapple　gray　horses；　and　silver　mounted　harness；　and　when　my　mother
would　drive　out　she　had　a　driver　in　broadcloth；　with　a　high　silk　hat；
and　a　boy　rode　on　a　seat　behind；　to　open　the　gates。　This　was　one　of
the　ways　of　traveling　in　Kentucky　in　those　days。　My　mother　was　an
aristocrat　in　her　ideas；　but　my　father　was　not。　He　liked　no　display。　He
was　wise　enough　to　see　the　sin　and　folly　of　it。

｛illust。　caption　=
THIS　IS　THE　PICTURE　OF　MY　GIRLHOOD　HOME　IN　CASS　COUNTY；　MO。
UNDER　THE　TREES　OF　THIS　DEAR　OLD　PLACE　I　LISTENED
TO　THE　SWEET　STORY　OF　MY　LOVE　OF　A　MAN　MURDERED　BY　DRINK。
〃WHEN　THOU　HAST　LOVED　ONE　LIVING　MAN；　THEN　MAYEST　THOU　LOOK
UPON　THE　DEAD。〃｝


After　being　on　the　road　six　weeks；　we　stopped　in　Grayson　County；
Texas；　and　bought　a　farm。　As　we　started　from　Missouri　one　of　the
colored　women　took　sick　with　typhoid　fever。　This　spread　so　that　ten
of　the　family；　white；　and　black；　were　down　at　one　time。　As　soon　as　we
could　travel；　my　father　left　the　colored　people　south；　and　took　his　family
back　to　Missouri。　That　winter　south　was　a　great　blessing　to　me；　for　I
recovered　from　a　disease　that　had　made　me　an　invalid　for　five　years
consumption　of　the　bowels。　Poor　health　had　keep　me　out　of　school　a
great　deal。　My　father　at　one　time　sent　me　to　Mrs。　Tillery's　boarding
school　in　Independence；　Mo。；　but　I　was　not　in　the　recitation　room　more
than　half　of　the　time。

After　I　recovered　my　health　in　Texas；　it　was　my　delight　to　ride　on
horseback　with　a　girl　friend。　The　southern　boys　were　preparing　to　go　to
war。　Many　a　sewing　did　we　attend；　where　the　mothers　had　spun　and
woven　the　gray　cloth　that　they　were　now　working　up　so　sorrowfully　for
their　sons　to　be　buried　in；　far　away　from　home。　They　thought　their　cause
was　right。　There　were　many　good　masters。　And　again　there　were　bad
ones。　Whiskey　is　always　a　cruel　tyrant　and　is　a　worse　evil　than　chattel
slavery。　We　were　often　stopped　on　our　trip　by　southern　troops；　in　the
Territory　and　Texas；　and　then　again　by　northerners。　We　passed　over　the
Pea　Ridge　battle　ground　shortly　after　the　battle。　Oh！　the　horrors　of　war。
We　often　stopped　at　houses　where　the　wounded　were。　We　let　them　have
our　pillows　and　every　bit　of　bedding　we　could　spare。　We　went　to　our
home　in　Cass　County；　Missouri。

Shortly　after　this　we；　with　all　families　living　in　that　country；　were
commanded　by　an　order　from　Jim　Lane；　to　move　into　an　army　post。　This
reached　several　counties　in　Missouri。　It　was　done　to　depopulate　the
country；　so　that　the　〃Bushwhackers〃　would　be　forced　to　leave；　because　of
not　being　able　to　get　food　from　the　citizens。　This　caused　much　suffering。
But　such　is　war。　We　moved　to　Kansas　City。　I　was　in　Independence；　Mo。；
during　the　battle；　when　Price　came　through。　I　went　with　a　good　woman
to　the　hospital　to　help　with　the　wounded。　My　duty　was　to　comb　the
heads　of　the　wounded。　I　had　a　pan　of　scalding　water　near　and　would　use
the　comb　and　shake　off　the　animated　nature　into　the　hot　water。　The　southern
and　northern　wounded　were　in　the　same　rooms。　In　health　they　were
enemies；　but　I　only　saw　kindly　feeling　and　sympathy。

Mothers　ought　to　give　their　daughters　the　experience　of　sitting　with
the　sick；　of　preparing　food　for　them；　of　binding　up　wounds。　It　is　a　pitiful
sight　to　see　a　helpless　woman　in　the　sick　room；　ignorant　through　lack
of　experience　and　education；　of　ways　to　be　useful　at　the　time　and　place
where　these　characteristics　of　woman　adorn　her　the　most　of　all　others。

After　we　returned　from　Texas；　being　the　oldest　child　and　the　servants　all
gone；　my　mother　sick；　and　the　younger　children　going　to
school；　I　had　the　house　work；　cooking　and　most　of　the　washing　to　do。　It
was　a　new　experience　for　me；　and　it　was　twice　as　hard　as　it　ought　to　have
been。　I　exposed　my　health；　would　slop　up　myself　when　I　washed；　and
almost　ruined　my　hea