the uncommercial traveller-第69部分

快捷操作: 按键盘上方向键 ← 或 → 可快速上下翻页 按键盘上的 Enter 键可回到本书目录页 按键盘上方向键 ↑ 可回到本页顶部! 如果本书没有阅读完，想下次继续接着阅读，可使用上方 "收藏到我的浏览器" 功能 和 "加入书签" 功能！



is　that　exceptional　that　he　have　written　to　the　gentlemen　many

times　and　have　worked　the　case　against　them。　　Therefore　he　have

took　a　higher　ground。　　But　we　do　not；　as　a　rule；　greatly　reckon　the

old　gentlemen。'



Pursuing　the　subject；　I　found　it　to　be　traditionally　settled　among

the　poor　ladies　that　the　poor　gentlemen；　whatever　their　ages；　were

all　very　old　indeed；　and　in　a　state　of　dotage。　　I　also　discovered

that　the　juniors　and　newcomers　preserved；　for　a　time；　a　waning

disposition　to　believe　in　Titbull　and　his　trustees；　but　that　as

they　gained　social　standing　they　lost　this　faith；　and　disparaged

Titbull　and　all　his　works。



Improving　my　acquaintance　subsequently　with　this　respected　lady；

whose　name　was　Mrs。　Mitts；　and　occasionally　dropping　in　upon　her

with　a　little　offering　of　sound　Family　Hyson　in　my　pocket；　I

gradually　became　familiar　with　the　inner　politics　and　ways　of

Titbull's　Alms…Houses。　　But　I　never　could　find　out　who　the　trustees

were；　or　where　they　were：　　it　being　one　of　the　fixed　ideas　of　the

place　that　those　authorities　must　be　vaguely　and　mysteriously

mentioned　as　'the　gentlemen'　only。　　The　secretary　of　'the

gentlemen'　was　once　pointed　out　to　me；　evidently　engaged　in

championing　the　obnoxious　pump　against　the　attacks　of　the

discontented　Mr。　Battens；　but　I　am　not　in　a　condition　to　report

further　of　him　than　that　he　had　the　sprightly　bearing　of　a　lawyer's

clerk。　　I　had　it　from　Mrs。　Mitts's　lips　in　a　very　confidential

moment；　that　Mr。　Battens　was　once　'had　up　before　the　gentlemen'　to

stand　or　fall　by　his　accusations；　and　that　an　old　shoe　was　thrown

after　him　on　his　departure　from　the　building　on　this　dread　errand；

…　not　ineffectually；　for；　the　interview　resulting　in　a　plumber；　was

considered　to　have　encircled　the　temples　of　Mr。　Battens　with　the

wreath　of　victory；



In　Titbull's　Alms…Houses；　the　local　society　is　not　regarded　as　good

society。　　A　gentleman　or　lady　receiving　visitors　from　without；　or

going　out　to　tea；　counts；　as　it　were；　accordingly；　but　visitings　or

tea…drinkings　interchanged　among　Titbullians　do　not　score。　　Such

interchanges；　however；　are　rare；　in　consequence　of　internal

dissensions　occasioned　by　Mrs。　Saggers's　pail：　　which　household

article　has　split　Titbull's　into　almost　as　many　parties　as　there

are　dwellings　in　that　precinct。　　The　extremely　complicated　nature

of　the　conflicting　articles　of　belief　on　the　subject　prevents　my

stating　them　here　with　my　usual　perspicuity；　but　I　think　they　have

all　branched　off　from　the　root…and…trunk　question；　Has　Mrs。　Saggers

any　right　to　stand　her　pail　outside　her　dwelling？　　The　question　has

been　much　refined　upon；　but　roughly　stated　may　be　stated　in　those

terms。



There　are　two　old　men　in　Titbull's　Alms…Houses　who；　I　have　been

given　to　understand；　knew　each　other　in　the　world　beyond　its　pump

and　iron　railings；　when　they　were　both　'in　trade。'　　They　make　the

best　of　their　reverses；　and　are　looked　upon　with　great　contempt。

They　are　little；　stooping；　blear…eyed　old　men　of　cheerful

countenance；　and　they　hobble　up　and　down　the　court…yard　wagging

their　chins　and　talking　together　quite　gaily。　　This　has　given

offence；　and　has；　moreover；　raised　the　question　whether　they　are

justified　in　passing　any　other　windows　than　their　own。　　Mr。

Battens；　however；　permitting　them　to　pass　HIS　windows；　on　the

disdainful　ground　that　their　imbecility　almost　amounts　to

irresponsibility；　they　are　allowed　to　take　their　walk　in　peace。

They　live　next　door　to　one　another；　and　take　it　by　turns　to　read

the　newspaper　aloud　（that　is　to　say；　the　newest　newspaper　they　can

get）；　and　they　play　cribbage　at　night。　　On　warm　and　sunny　days　they

have　been　known　to　go　so　far　as　to　bring　out　two　chairs　and　sit　by

the　iron　railings；　looking　forth；　but　this　low　conduct；　being　much

remarked　upon　throughout　Titbull's；　they　were　deterred　by　an

outraged　public　opinion　from　repeating　it。　　There　is　a　rumour　…　but

it　may　be　malicious　…　that　they　hold　the　memory　of　Titbull　in　some

weak　sort　of　veneration；　and　that　they　once　set　off　together　on　a

pilgrimage　to　the　parish　churchyard　to　find　his　tomb。　　To　this；

perhaps；　might　be　traced　a　general　suspicion　that　they　are　spies　of

'the　gentlemen：'　to　which　they　were　supposed　to　have　given　colour

in　my　own　presence　on　the　occasion　of　the　weak　attempt　at

justification　of　the　pump　by　the　gentlemen's　clerk；　when　they

emerged　bare…headed　from　the　doors　of　their　dwellings；　as　if　their

dwellings　and　themselves　constituted　an　old…fashioned　weather…glass

of　double　action　with　two　figures　of　old　ladies　inside；　and

deferentially　bowed　to　him　at　intervals　until　he　took　his

departure。　　They　are　understood　to　be　perfectly　friendless　and

relationless。　　Unquestionably　the　two　poor　fellows　make　the　very

best　of　their　lives　in　Titbull's　Alms…Houses；　and　unquestionably

they　are　（as　before　mentioned）　the　subjects　of　unmitigated　contempt

there。



On　Saturday　nights；　when　there　is　a　greater　stir　than　usual

outside；　and　when　itinerant　vendors　of　miscellaneous　wares　even

take　their　stations　and　light　up　their　smoky　lamps　before　the　iron

railings；　Titbull's　becomes　flurried。　　Mrs。　Saggers　has　her

celebrated　palpitations　of　the　heart；　for　the　most　part；　on

Saturday　nights。　　But　Titbull's　is　unfit　to　strive　with　the　uproar

of　the　streets　in　any　of　its　phases。　　It　is　religiously　believed　at

Titbull's　that　people　push　more　than　they　used；　and　likewise　that

the　foremost　object　of　the　population　of　England　and　Wales　is　to

get　you　down　and　trample　on　you。　　Even　of　railroads　they　know；　at

Titbull's；　little　more　than　the　shriek　（which　Mrs。　Saggers　says

goes　through　her；　and　ought　to　be　taken　up　by　Government）；　and　the

penny　postage　may　even　yet　be　unknown　there；　for　I　have　never　seen

a　letter　delivered　to　any　inhabitant。　　But　there　is　a　tall；

straight；　sallow　lady　resident　in　Number　Seven；　Titbull's；　who

never　speaks　to　anybody；　who　is　surrounded　by　a　superstitious　halo

of　lost　wealth；　who　does　her　household　work　in　housemaid's　gloves；

and　who　is　secretly　much　deferred　to；　though　openly　cavilled　at；

and　it　has　obscurely　leaked　out　that　this　old　lady　has　a　son；

grandson；　nephew；　or　other　relative；　who　is　'a　Contractor；'　and　who

would　think　it　nothing　of　a　job　to　knock　down　Titbull's；　pack　it

off　into　Cornwall；　and　knock　it　together　again。　　An　immense

sensation　was　made　by　a　gipsy…party　calling　in　a　spring…van；　to

take　this　old　lady　up　to　go　for　a　day's　pleasure　into　Epping

Forest；　and　notes　were　compared　as　to　which　of　the　company　was　the

son；　grandson；　nephew；　or　other　relative；　the　Contractor。　　A　thick…

set　personage　with　a　white　hat　and　a　cigar　in　his　mouth；　was　the

favourite：　　though　as　Titbull's　had　no　other　reason　to　believe　that

the　Contractor　was　there　at　all；　than　that　this　man　was　supposed　to

eye　the　chimney　stacks　as　if　he　would　like　to　knock　them　down　and

cart　them　off；　the　general　mind　was　much　unsettled　in　arriving　at　a

conclusion。　　As　a　way　out　of　this　difficulty；　it　concentrated

itself　on　the　acknowledged　Beauty　of　the　party；　every　stitch　in

whose　dress　was　verbally　unripped　by　the　old　ladies　then　and　there；

and　whose　'goings　on'　with　another　and　a　thinner　personage　in　a

white　hat　might　have　suffused　the　pump　（where　they　were　principally

discussed）　with　blushes；　for　months　afterwards。　　Herein　Titbull's

was　to　Titbull's　true；　for　it　has　a　constitutional　dislike　of　all

strangers。　　As　concerning　innovations　and　improvements；　it　is

always　of　opinion　that　what　it　doesn't　want　itself；　nobody　ought　to

want。　　But　I　think　I　have　met　with　this　opinion　outside　Titbull's。



Of　the　humble　treasures　of　furniture　brought　into　Titbull's　by　the

inmates　when　they　establish　themselves　in　that　place　of

contemplation　for　the　rest　of　their　days；　by　far　the　greater　and

more　valuable　part　belongs　to　the　ladies。　　I　may　claim　the　honour

of　having　either　crossed　the　threshold；　or　looked　in　at　the　door；

of　every　one　of　the　nine　ladies；　and　I　have　noticed　that　they　are

all　particular　in　the　article　of　bedsteads；　and　maintain　favourite

and　long…established　bedsteads　and　bedding　as　a　regular　part　of

their　rest。　　Generally　an　antiquated　chest　of　drawers　is　among

their　cherished　possessions；　a　tea…tray　always　is。　　I　know　of　at

least　two　rooms　in　which　a　little　tea…kettle　of　genuine　burnished

copper；　vies　with　the　cat　in　winking　at　the　fire；　and　one　old　lady

has　a　tea…urn　set　forth　in　state　on　the　top　of　her　chest　of

drawers；　which　urn　is　used　as　her　library；　and　contains　four

duodecimo　volumes；　and　a　black…bordered　newspaper　giving　an　account

of　the　funeral　of　Her　Royal　Highness　the　Princess　Charlotte。　　Among

the　poor　old　gentlemen　there　are　no　such　niceties。　　Their　furniture

has　the　air　of　being　contributed；　like　some　obsolete　Literary

Miscellany；　'by　several　hands；'　their　few　chairs　never　match；　old

patchwork　coverlets　linger　among　them；　and　they　have　an　untidy

habit　of　keeping　their　wardrobes　in　hat…boxes。　　When　I　recall　one

old　gentleman　who　is　rather　choice　in　his　shoe…brushes　and

blacking…bottle；　I　have　summed　up　the　domestic　elegances　of　that

side　of　the　building。



On　the　occurrence　of　a　death　in　Titbull's；　it　is　invariably　agreed

among　the　survivors　…　and　it　is　the　only　subject　on　which　they　do

agree　…　that　the　departed　did　something　'to　bring　it　on。'　　Judging

by　Titbull's；　I　should　say　the　human　race　need　never　die；　if　they

took　care。　　But　they　don't　take　care；　and　they　do　die；　and　when

they　die　in　Titbull's　they　are　buried　at　the　cost　of　the

Foundation。　　Some　provision　has　been　made　for　the　purpose；　in

virtue　of　which　（I　record　this　on　the　strength　of　having　seen　the

funeral　of　Mrs。　Quinch）　a　lively　neighbouring　undertaker　dresses　up

four　of　the　old　men；　and　four　of　the　old　women；　hustles　them　into　a

procession　of　four　couples；　and　leads　off　with　a　large　black　bow　at

the　back　of　his　hat；　looking　over　his　shoulder　at　them　airily　from

time　to　time　to　see　that　no