the dark flower-第8部分

快捷操作: 按键盘上方向键 ← 或 → 可快速上下翻页 按键盘上的 Enter 键可回到本书目录页 按键盘上方向键 ↑ 可回到本页顶部! 如果本书没有阅读完，想下次继续接着阅读，可使用上方 "收藏到我的浏览器" 功能 和 "加入书签" 功能！


innocence！　　What　if　it　had　killed　in　him　trust；　brushed　off　the
dew；　tumbled　a　star　down？　　Could　she　forgive　herself　for　that？
Could　she　bear　it　if　she　were　to　make　him　like　so　many　other　boys；
like　that　young　violinist；　just　a　cynical　youth；　looking　on　women
as　what　they　called　'fair　game'？　　But　COULD　she　make　him　into　such
would　he　ever　grow　like　that？　　Oh！　　surely　not；　or　she　would　not
have　loved　him　from　the　moment　she　first　set　eyes　on　him　and　spoke
of　him　as　'an　angel。'

After　that　kissthat　crime；　if　it　were　onein　the　dark　she　had
not　known　what　he　had　done；　where　goneperhaps　wandering；　perhaps
straight　up　to　his　room。　　Why　had　she　refrained；　left　him　there；
vanished　out　of　his　arms？　　This　she　herself　hardly　understood。　　Not
shame；　not　fear；　reverence　perhapsfor　what？　　For　lovefor　the
illusion；　the　mystery；　all　that　made　love　beautiful；　for　youth；　and
the　poetry　of　it；　just　for　the　sake　of　the　black　still　night
itself；　and　the　scent　of　that　flowerdark　flower　of　passion　that
had　won　him　to　her；　and　that　she　had　stolen　back；　and　now　wore　all
night　long　close　to　her　neck；　and　in　the　morning　placed　withered
within　her　dress。　　She　had　been　starved　so　long；　and　so　long　waited
for　that　momentit　was　little　wonder　if　she　did　not　clearly　know
why　she　had　done　just　this；　and　not　that！

And　now　how　should　she　meet　him；　how　first　look　into　his　eyes？
Would　they　have　changed？　　Would　they　no　longer　have　the　straight
look　she　so　loved？　　It　would　be　for　her　to　lead；　to　make　the
future。　　And　she　kept　saying　to　herself：　I　am　not　going　to　be
afraid。　　It　is　done。　　I　will　take　what　life　offers！　　Of　her　husband
she　did　not　think　at　all。

But　the　first　moment　she　saw　the　boy；　she　knew　that　something　from
outside；　and　untoward；　had　happened　since　that　kiss。　　He　came　up　to
her；　indeed；　but　he　said　nothing；　stood　trembling　all　over　and
handed　her　a　telegram　that　contained　these　words：　〃Come　back　at
once　Wedding　immediate　Expect　you　day　after　to…morrow。　　Cicely。〃
The　words　grew　indistinct　even　as　she　read　them；　and　the　boy's　face
all　blurred。　　Then；　making　an　effort；　she　said　quietly：

〃Of　course；　you　must　go。　　You　cannot　miss　your　only　sister's
wedding。〃

Without　protest　he　looked　at　her；　and　she　could　hardly　bear　that
lookit　seemed　to　know　so　little；　and　ask　so　much。　　She　said：　〃It
is　nothingonly　a　few　days。　　You　will　come　back；　or　we　will　come
to　you。〃

His　face　brightened　at　once。

〃Will　you　really　come　to　us　soon；　at　onceif　they　ask　you？　　Then　I
don't　mindII〃　　And　then　he　stopped；　choking。

She　said　again：

〃Ask　us。　　We　will　come。〃

He　seized　her　hand；　pressed　and　pressed　it　in　both　his　own；　then
stroked　it　gently；　and　said：

〃Oh！　　I'm　hurting　it！〃

She　laughed；　not　wishing　to　cry。

In　a　few　minutes　he　would　have　to　start　to　catch　the　only　train
that　would　get　him　home　in　time。

She　went　and　helped　him　to　pack。　　Her　heart　felt　like　lead；　but；
not　able　to　bear　that　look　on　his　face　again；　she　kept　cheerfully
talking　of　their　return；　asking　about　his　home；　how　to　get　to　it；
speaking　of　Oxford　and　next　term。　　When　his　things　were　ready　she
put　her　arms　round　his　neck；　and　for　a　moment　pressed　him　to　her。
Then　she　escaped。　　Looking　back　from　his　door；　she　saw　him　standing
exactly　as　when　she　had　withdrawn　her　arms。　　Her　cheeks　were　wet；
she　dried　them　as　she　went　downstairs。　　When　she　felt　herself　safe；
she　went　out　on　the　terrace。　　Her　husband　was　there；　and　she　said
to　him：

〃Will　you　come　with　me　into　the　town？　　I　want　to　buy　some　things。〃

He　raised　his　eyebrows；　smiled　dimly；　and　followed　her。　　They
walked　slowly　down　the　hill　into　the　long　street　of　the　little
town。　　All　the　time　she　talked　of　she　knew　not　what；　and　all　the
time　she　thought：　His　carriage　will　passhis　carriage　will　pass！

Several　carriages　went　jingling　by。　　At　last　he　came。　　Sitting
there；　and　staring　straight　before　him；　he　did　not　see　them。　　She
heard　her　husband　say：

〃Hullo！　　Where　is　our　young　friend　Lennan　off　to；　with　his　luggage
looking　like　a　lion　cub　in　trouble？〃

She　answered　in　a　voice　that　she　tried　to　make　clear　and　steady：

〃There　must　be　something　wrong；　or　else　it　is　his　sister's
wedding。〃

She　felt　that　her　husband　was　gazing　at　her；　and　wondered　what　her
face　was　like；　but　at　that　moment　the　word　〃Madre！〃　sounded　close
in　her　ear　and　they　were　surrounded　by　a　small　drove　of　'English
Grundys。'


XI


That　twenty　mile　drive　was　perhaps　the　worst　part　of　the　journey
for　the　boy。　　It　is　always　hard　to　sit　still　and　suffer。

When　Anna　left　him　the　night　before；　he　had　wandered　about　in　the
dark；　not　knowing　quite　where　he　went。　　Then　the　moon　came　up；　and
he　found　himself　sitting　under　the　eave　of　a　barn　close　to　a　chalet
where　all　was　dark　and　quiet；　and　down　below　him　the　moon…whitened
valley　villageits　roofs　and　spires　and　little　glamorous　unreal
lights。

In　his　evening　suit；　his　dark　ruffled　hair　uncovered；　he　would　have
made　a　quaint　spectacle　for　the　owners　of　that　chalet；　if　they　had
chanced　to　see　him　seated　on　the　hay…strewn　boards　against　their
barn；　staring　before　him　with　such　wistful　rapture。　　But　they　were
folk　to　whom　sleep　was　precious。　。　。　。

And　now　it　was　all　snatched　away　from　him；　relegated　to　some
immensely　far…off　future。　　Would　it　indeed　be　possible　to　get　his
guardian　to　ask　them　down　to　Hayle？　　And　would　they　really　come？
His　tutor　would　surely　never　care　to　visit　a　place　right　away　in
the　countryfar　from　books　and　everything！　　He　frowned；　thinking
of　his　tutor；　but　it　was　with　perplexityno　other　feeling。　　And
yet；　if　he　could　not　have　them　down　there；　how　could　he　wait　the
two　whole　months　till　next　term　began！　　So　went　his　thoughts；　round
and　round；　while　the　horses　jogged；　dragging　him　further　and
further　from　her。

It　was　better　in　the　train；　the　distraction　of　all　the　strange
crowd　of　foreigners；　the　interest　of　new　faces　and　new　country；　and
then　sleepa　long　night　of　it；　snoozed　up　in　his　corner；
thoroughly　fagged　out。　　And　next　day　more　new　country；　more　new
faces；　and　slowly；　his　mood　changing　from　ache　and　bewilderment　to
a　sense　of　something　promised；　delightful　to　look　forward　to。　　Then
Calais　at　last；　and　a　night…crossing　in　a　wet　little　steamer；　a
summer　gale　blowing　spray　in　his　face；　waves　leaping　white　in　a
black　sea；　and　the　wild　sound　of　the　wind。　　On　again　to　London；　the
early　drive　across　the　town；　still　sleepy　in　August　haze；　an
English　breakfastporridge；　chops；　marmalade。　　And；　at　last；　the
train　for　home。　　At　all　events　he　could　write　to　her；　and　tearing　a
page　out　of　his　little　sketch…book；　he　began：


I　am　writing　in　the　train；　so　please　forgive　this　joggly　writing〃


Then　he　did　not　know　how　to　go　on；　for　all　that　he　wanted　to　say
was　such　as　he　had　never　even　dreamed　of　writingthings　about　his
feelings　which　would　look　horrible　in　words；　besides；　he　must　not
put　anything　that　might　not　be　read；　by　anyone；　so　what　was　there
to　say？


〃It　has　been　such　a　long　journey；〃　he　wrote　at　last；　〃away　from　the
Tyrol；〃　（he　did　not　dare　even　to　put　〃from　you；〃）　〃I　thought　it
would　never　end。　　But　at　last　it　hasvery　nearly。　　I　have　thought
a　great　deal　about　the　Tyrol。　　It　was　a　lovely　timethe　loveliest
time　I　have　ever　had。　　And　now　it's　over；　I　try　to　console　myself
by　thinking　of　the　future；　but　not　the　immediate　futureTHAT　is
not　very　enjoyable。　　I　wonder　how　the　mountains　are　looking　to…day。
Please　give　my　love　to　them；　especially　the　lion　ones　that　come　and
lie　out　in　the　moonlightyou　will　not　recognize　them　from　this〃
then　followed　a　sketch。　　〃And　this　is　the　church　we　went　to；　with
someone　kneeling。　　And　this　is　meant　for　the　'English　Grundys；'
looking　at　someone　who　is　coming　in　very　late　with　an　alpenstock
only；　I　am　better　at　the　'English　Grundys'　than　at　the　person　with
the　alpenstock。　　I　wish　I　were　the　'English　Grundys'　now；　still　in
the　Tyrol。　　I　hope　I　shall　get　a　letter　from　you　soon；　and　that　it
will　say　you　are　getting　ready　to　come　back。　　My　guardian　will　be
awfully　keen　for　you　to　come　and　stay　with　us。　　He　is　not　half　bad
when　you　know　him；　and　there　will　be　his　sister；　Mrs。　Doone；　and
her　daughter　left　there　after　the　wedding。　　It　will　be　simply
disgusting　if　you　and　Mr。　Stormer　don't　come。　　I　wish　I　could　write
all　I　feel　about　my　lovely　time　in　the　Tyrol；　but　you　must　please
imagine　it。〃


And　just　as　he　had　not　known　how　to　address　her；　so　he　could　not
tell　how　to　subscribe　himself；　and　only　put　〃Mark　Lennan。〃

He　posted　the　letter　at　Exeter；　where　he　had　some　time　to　wait；　and
his　mind　moved　still　more　from　past　to　future。　　Now　that　he　was
nearing　home　he　began　to　think　of　his　sister。　　In　two　days　she
would　be　gone　to　Italy；　he　would　not　see　her　again　for　a　long　time；
and　a　whole　crowd　of　memories　began　to　stretch　out　hands　to　him。
How　she　and　he　used　to　walk　together　in　the　walled　garden；　and　on
the　sunk　croquet　ground；　she　telling　him　stories；　her　arm　round　his
neck；　because　she　was　two　years　older；　and　taller　than　he　in　those
days。　　Their　first　talk　each　holidays；　when　he　came　back　to　her；
the　first　teawith　unlimited　jamin　the　old　mullion…windowed；
flower…chintzed　schoolroom；　just　himself　and　her　and　old　Tingle
（Miss　Tring；　the　ancient　governess；　whose　chaperonage　would　now　be
gone）；　and　sometimes　that　kid　Sylvia；　when　she　chanced　to　be
staying　there　with　her　mother。　　Cicely　had　always　understood　him
when　he　explained　to　her　how　inferior　school　was；　because　nobody
took　any　interest　in　beasts　or　birds　except　to　kill　them；　or　in
drawing；　or　making　things；　or　anything　decent。　　They　would　go　off
together；　rambling　along　the　river；　or　up　the　park；　where
everything　looked　so　jolly　and　wildthe　ragged　oak…trees；　and　huge
boulders；　of　whose　presence　old　Godden；　the　coachman；　had　said：　〃I
can't　think　but　what　these　ha'　been　washed　here　by　the　Flood；　Mast'
Mark！〃　　These　and　a　thousand　other　memories　beset　his　conscience
now。　　And　as　the　train　drew　closer　to　their　station；　he　eagerly
made　ready　to　jump　out　and　greet　her。　　There　was　the　honeysuckle
full　out　along　the　paling　of　the　platform　over　the　waiting…room；
wonderful；　this　yearand　there　was　she；　standing　alone　on　the
platform。　　No；　it　was　not　Cicely！　　He　got　out