the patrician-第39部分

快捷操作: 按键盘上方向键 ← 或 → 可快速上下翻页 按键盘上的 Enter 键可回到本书目录页 按键盘上方向键 ↑ 可回到本页顶部! 如果本书没有阅读完，想下次继续接着阅读，可使用上方 "收藏到我的浏览器" 功能 和 "加入书签" 功能！


During　that　hour　in　her　bedroom　she　lived　through　years。　　It　was　dark
when　she　left　it。




CHAPTER　XVI

When　Miltoun　at　last　came　it　was　past　nine　o'clock。

Silent；　but　quivering　all　over；　she　clung　to　him　in　the　hall；　and
this　passion　of　emotion；　without　sound　to　give　it　substance；　affected
him　profoundly。　　How　terribly　sensitive　and　tender　she　was！　　She
seemed　to　have　no　armour。　　But　though　so　stirred　by　her　emotion；　he
was　none　the　less　exasperated。　　She　incarnated　at　that　moment　the
life　to　which　he　must　now　resign　himselfa　life　of　unending
tenderness；　consideration；　and　passivity。

For　a　long　time　he　could　not　bring　himself　to　speak　of　his　decision。
Every　look　of　her　eyes；　every　movement　of　her　body；　seemed　pleading
with　him　to　keep　silence。　　But　in　Miltoun's　character　there　was　an
element　of　rigidity；　which　never　suffered　him　to　diverge　from　an
objective　once　determined。

When　he　had　finished　telling　her；　she　only　said：

〃Why　can't　we　go　on　in　secret？〃

And　he　felt　with　a　sort　of　horror　that　he　must　begin　his　struggle
over　again。　　He　got　up；　and　threw　open　the　window。　　The　sky　was　dark
above　the　river；　the　wind　had　risen。　　That　restless　murmuration；　and
the　width　of　the　night　with　its　scattered　stars；　seemed　to　come
rushing　at　his　face。　　He　withdrew　from　it；　and　leaning　on　the　sill
looked　down　at　her。　　What　flower…like　delicacy　she　had！　　There
flashed　across　him　the　memory　of　a　drooping　blossom；　which；　in　the
Spring；　he　had　seen　her　throw　into　the　flames；　with　the　words：　〃I
can't　bear　flowers　to　fade；　I　always　want　to　burn　them。〃　　He　could
see　again　those　waxen　petals　yield　to　the　fierce　clutch　of　the　little
red　creeping　sparks；　and　the　slender　stalk　quivering；　and　glowing；
and　writhing　to　blackness　like　a　live　thing。　　And；　distraught；　he
began：

〃I　can't　live　a　lie。　　What　right　have　I　to　lead；　if　I　can't　follow？
I'm　not　like　our　friend　Courtier　who　believes　in　Liberty。　　I　never
have；　I　never　shall。　　Liberty？　　What　is　Liberty？　　But　only　those　who
conform　to　authority　have　the　right　to　wield　authority。　　A　man　is　a
churl　who　enforces　laws；　when　he　himself　has　not　the　strength　to
observe　them。　　I　will　not　be　one　of　whom　it　can　be　said：　'He　can　rule
others；　himself！〃

〃No　one　will　know。〃

Miltoun　turned　away。

〃I　shall　know；〃　he　said；　but　he　saw　clearly　that　she　did　not
understand　him。　　Her　face　had　a　strange；　brooding；　shut…away　look；　as
though　he　had　frightened　her。　　And　the　thought　that　she　could　not
understand；　angered　him。

He　said；　stubbornly：　〃No；　I　can't　remain　in　public　life。〃

〃But　what　has　it　to　do　with　politics？　　It's　such　a　little　thing。〃

〃If　it　had　been　a　little　thing　to　me；　should　I　have　left　you　at
Monkland；　and　spent　those　five　weeks　in　purgatory　before　my　illness？
A　little　thing！〃

She　exclaimed　with　sudden　fire：

〃Circumstances　aye　the　little　thing；　it's　love　that's　the　great
thing。〃

Miltoun　stared　at　her；　for　the　first　time　understanding　that　she　had
a　philosophy　as　deep　and　stubborn　as　his　own。　　But　he　answered
cruelly：

〃Well！　the　great　thing　has　conquered　me！〃

And　then　he　saw　her　looking　at　him；　as　if；　seeing　into　the　recesses
of　his　soul；　she　had　made　some　ghastly　discovery。　　The　look　was　so
mournful；　so　uncannily　intent　that　he　turned　away　from　it。

〃Perhaps　it　is　a　little　thing；〃　he　muttered；　〃I　don't　know。　　I　can't
see　my　way。　　I've　lost　my　bearings；　I　must　find　them　again　before　I
can　do　anything。〃

But　as　if　she　had　not　heard；　or　not　taken　in　the　sense　of　his　words；
she　said　again：

〃Oh！　don't　let　us　alter　anything；　I　won't　ever　want　what　you　can't
give。〃

And　this　stubbornness；　when　he　was　doing　the　very　thing　that　would
give　him　to　her　utterly；　seemed　to　him　unreasonable。

〃I've　had　it　out　with　myself；〃　he　said。　　〃Don't　let's　talk　about　it
any　more。〃

Again；　with　a　sort　of　dry　anguish；　she　murmured：

〃No；　no！　　Let　us　go　on　as　we　are！〃

Feeling　that　he　had　borne　all　he　could；　Miltoun　put　his　hands　on　her
shoulders；　and　said：　〃That's　enough！〃

Then；　in　sudden　remorse；　he　lifted　her；　and　clasped　her　to　him。

But　she　stood　inert　in　his　arms；　her　eyes　closed；　not　returning　his
kisses。




CHAPTER　XVII

On　the　last　day　before　Parliament　rose；　Lord　Valleys；　with　a　light
heart；　mounted　his　horse　for　a　gallop　in　the　Row。　　Though　she　was　a
blood　mare　he　rode　her　with　a　plain　snaffle；　having　the　horsemanship
of　one　who　has　hunted　from　the　age　of　seven；　and　been　for　twenty
years　a　Colonel　of　Yeomanry。　　Greeting　affably　everyone　he　knew；　he
maintained　a　frank　demeanour　on　all　subjects；　especially　of
Government　policy；　secretly　enjoying　the　surmises　and
prognostications；　so　pleasantly　wide　of　the　mark；　and　the　way
questions　and　hints　perished　before　his　sphinx…like　candour。　　He
spoke　cheerily　too　of　Miltoun；　who　was　'all　right　again；'　and
'burning　for　the　fray'　when　the　House　met　again　in　the　autumn。　　And
he　chaffed　Lord　Malvezin　about　his　wife。　　If　anythinghe　saidcould
make　Bertie　take　an　interest　in　politics；　it　would　be　she。　　He　had
two　capital　gallops；　being　well　known　to　the　police：　The　day　was
bright；　and　he　was　sorry　to　turn　home。　　Falling　in　with　Harbinger；　he
asked　him　to　come　back　to　lunch。　　There　had　seemed　something
different　lately；　an　almost　morose　look；　about　young　Harbinger；　and
his　wife's　disquieting　words　about　Barbara　came　back　to　Lord　Valleys
with　a　shock。　　He　had　seen　little　of　the　child　lately；　and　in　the
general　clearing　up　of　this　time　of　year　had　forgotten　all　about　the
matter。

Agatha；　who　was　still　staying　at　Valleys　House　with　little　Ann；
waiting　to　travel　up　to　Scotland　with　her　mother；　was　out；　and　there
was　no　one　at　lunch　except　Lady　Valleys　and　Barbara　herself。
Conversation　flagged；　for　the　young　people　were　extremely　silent；
Lady　Valleys　was　considering　the　draft　of　a　report　which　had　to　be
settled　before　she　left；　and　Lord　Valleys　himself　was　rather
carefully　watching　his　daughter。　　The　news　that　Lord　Miltoun　was　in
the　study　came　as　a　surprise；　and　somewhat　of　a　relief　to　all。　　To　an
exhortation　to　luring　him　in　to　lunch；　the　servant　replied　that　Lord
Miltoun　had　lunched；　and　would　wait。

〃Does　he　know　there's　no　one　here？〃

〃Yes；　my　lady。〃

Lady　Valleys　pushed　back　her　plate；　and　rose：

〃Oh；　well！〃　she　said；　〃I've　finished。〃

Lord　Valleys　also　got　up；　and　they　went　out　together；　leaving
Barbara；　who　had　risen；　looking　doubtfully　at　the　door。

Lord　Valleys　had　recently　been　told　of　the　nursing　episode；　and　had
received　the　news　with　the　dubious　air　of　one　hearing　something　about
an　eccentric　person；　which；　heard　about　anyone　else；　could　have　had
but　one　significance。　　If　Eustace　had　been　a　normal　young　man　his
father　would　have　shrugged　his　shoulder's；　and　thought：　〃Oh；　well！
There　it　is！〃　　As　it　was；　he　had　literally　not　known　what　to　think。

And　now；　crossing　the　saloon　which　intervened　between　the　dining…room
and　the　study；　he　said　to　his　wife　uneasily：

〃Is　it　this　woman　again；　Gertrudeor　what？〃

Lady　Valleys　answered　with　a　shrug：

〃Goodness　knows；　my　dear。〃

Miltoun　was　standing　in　the　embrasure　of　a　window　above　the　terrace。
He　looked　well；　and　his　greeting　was　the　same　as　usual。

〃Well；　my　dear　fellow；〃　said　Lord　Valleys；　〃you're　all　right　again
evidentlywhat's　the　news？〃

〃Only　that　I've　decided　to　resign　my　seat。〃

Lord　Valleys　stared。

〃What　on　earth　for？〃

But　Lady　Valleys；　with　the　greater　quickness　of　women；　divining
already　something　of　the　reason；　had　flushed　a　deep　pink。

〃Nonsense；　my　dear；〃　she　said；　〃it　can't　possibly　be　necessary；　even
if〃　Recovering　herself；　she　added　dryly：

〃Give　us　some　reason。〃

〃The　reason　is　simply　that　I've　joined　my　life　to　Mrs。　Noel's；　and　I
can't　go　on　as　I　am；　living　a　lie。　　If　it　were　known　I　should
obviously　have　to　resign　at　once。〃

〃Good　God！〃　exclaimed　Lord　Valleys。

Lady　Valleys　made　a　rapid　movement。　　In　the　face　of　what　she　felt　to
be　a　really　serious　crisis　between　these　two　utterly　different
creatures　of　the　other　sex；　her　husband　and　her　son；　she　had　dropped
her　mask　and　become　a　genuine　woman。　　Unconsciously　both　men　felt
this　change；　and　in　speaking；　turned　towards　her。

〃I　can't　argue　it；〃　said　Miltoun；　〃I　consider　myself　bound　in
honour。〃

〃And　then？〃　she　asked。

Lord　Valleys；　with　a　note　of　real　feeling；　interjected：

〃By　Heaven！　　I　did　think　you　put　your　country　above　your　private
affairs。〃

〃Geoff！〃　said　Lady　Valleys。

But　Lord　Valleys　went　on：

〃No；　Eustace；　I'm　out　of　touch　with　your　view　of　things　altogether。
I　don't　even　begin　to　understand　it。〃

〃That　is　true；〃　said　Miltoun。

〃Listen　to　me；　both　of　you！〃　said　Lady　Valleys：　〃You　two　are
altogether　different；　and　you　must　not　quarrel。　　I　won't　have　that。
Now；　Eustace；　you　are　our　son；　and　you　have　got　to　be　kind　and
considerate。　　Sit　down；　and　let's　talk　it　over。〃

And　motioning　her　husband　to　a　chair；　she　sat　down　in　the　embrasure
of　a　window。　　Miltoun　remained　standing。　　Visited　by　a　sudden　dread；
Lady　Valleys　said：

〃Is　ityou've　notthere　isn't　going　to　be　a　scandal？〃

Miltoun　smiled　grimly。

〃I　shall　tell　this　man；　of　course；　but　you　may　make　your　minds　easy；
I　imagine；　I　understand　that　his　view　of　marriage　does　not　permit　of
divorce　in　any　case　whatever。〃

Lady　Valleys　sighed　with　an　utter　and　undisguised　relief。

〃Well；　then；　my　dear　boy；〃　she　began；　〃　even　if　you　do　feel　you　must
tell　him；　there　is　surely　no　reason　why　it　should　not　otherwise　be
kept　secret。〃

Lord　Valleys　interrupted　her：

〃I　should　be　glad　if　you　would　point　out　the　connection　between　your
honour　and　the　resignation　of　your　seat；〃　he　said　stiffly。

Miltoun　shook　his　head。

〃If　you　don't　see　already；　it　would　be　useless。〃

〃I　do　not　see。　　The　whole　matter　isis　unfortunate；　but　to　give　up
your　work；　so　long　as　there　is　no　absolute　necessity；　seems　to　me
far…fetched　and　absurd。　　How　many　men　are；　there　into　whose　lives
there　has　not　entered　some　such　relation　at　one　time　or　another？
This　idea　would　disqualify　half　the　nation。〃　　His　eyes　seemed　in　that
crisis　both　to　consult　and　to　avoid　his　wife's；　as　though　he　were　at
once　asking　her　endorsement　of　his　point　of　view；　and　observing　the
proprieties。　　And　for　a　moment　in　the　midst　of