the patrician-第5部分

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school　without　a　pang。　　But　when　in　the　train　he　saw　the　old　Hill　and
the　old　spire　on　the　top　of　it　fading　away　from　him；　a　lump　rose　in
his　throat；　he　swallowed　violently　two　or　three　times；　and；　thrusting
himself　far　back　into　the　carriage　corner；　appeared　to　sleep。

At　Oxford；　he　was　happier；　but　still　comparatively　lonely；　remaining；
so　long　as　custom　permitted；　in　lodgings　outside　his　College；　and
clinging　thereafter　to　remote；　panelled　rooms　high　up；　overlooking
the　gardens　and　a　portion　of　the　city　wall。　　It　was　at　Oxford　that　he
first　developed　that　passion　for　self…discipline　which　afterwards
distinguished　him。　　He　took　up　rowing；　and；　though　thoroughly
unsuited　by　nature　to　this　pastime；　secured　himself　a　place　in　his
College　'torpid。'　　At　the　end　of　a　race　he　was　usually　supported　from
his　stretcher　in　a　state　of　extreme　extenuation；　due　to　having　pulled
the　last　quarter　of　the　course　entirely　with　his　spirit。　　The　same
craving　for　self…discipline　guided　him　in　the　choice　of　Schools；　he
went　out　in　'Greats；'　for　which；　owing　to　his　indifferent　mastery　of
Greek　and　Latin；　he　was　the　least　fitted。　　With　enormous　labour　he
took　a　very　good　degree。　　He　carried　off　besides；　the　highest
distinctions　of　the　University　for　English　Essays。　　The　ordinary
circles　of　College　life　knew　nothing　of　him。　　Not　once　in　the　whole
course　of　his　University　career；　was　he　the　better　for　wine。　　He；　did
not　hunt；　he　never　talked　of　women；　and　none　talked　of　women　in　his
presence。　　But　now　and　then　he　was　visited　by　those　gusts　which　come
to　the　ascetic；　when　all　life　seemed　suddenly　caught　up　and　devoured
by　a　flame　burning　night　and　day；　and　going　out　mercifully；　he　knew
not　why；　like　a　blown　candle。　　However　unsocial　in　the　proper　sense
of　the　word；　he　by　no　means　lacked　company　in　these　Oxford　days。　　He
knew　many；　both　dons　and　undergraduates。　　His　long　stride；　and
determined　absence　of　direction；　had　severely　tried　all　those　who
could　stomach　so　slow　a　pastime　as　walking　for　the　sake　of　talking。
The　country　knew　himthough　he　never　knew　the　countryfrom　Abingdon
to　Bablock　Hythe。　　His　name　stood　high；　too；　at　the　Union；　where　he
made　his　mark　during　his　first　term　in　a　debate　on　a　'Censorship　of
Literature'　which　he　advocated　with　gloom；　pertinacity；　and　a　certain
youthful　brilliance　that　might　well　have　carried　the　day；　had　not　an
Irishman　got　up　and　pointed　out　the　danger　hanging　over　the　Old
Testament。　　To　that　he　had　retorted：　〃Better；　sir；　it　should　run　a
risk　than　have　no　risk　to　run。〃　　From　which　moment　he　was　notable。

He　stayed　up　four　years；　and　went　down　with　a　sense　of　bewilderment
and　loss。　　The　matured　verdict　of　Oxford　on　this　child　of　hers；　was
〃Eustace　Miltoun！　　Ah！　　Queer　bird！　　Will　make　his　mark！〃

He　had　about　this　time　an　interview　with　his　father　which　confirmed
the　impression　each　had　formed　of　the　other。　　It　took　place　in　the
library　at　Monkland　Court；　on　a　late　November　afternoon。

The　light　of　eight　candles　in　thin　silver　candlesticks；　four　on
either　side　of　the　carved　stone　hearth；　illumined　that　room。　　Their
gentle　radiance　penetrated　but　a　little　way　into　the　great　dark　space
lined　with　books；　panelled　and　floored　with　black　oak；　where　the
acrid　fragrance　of　leather　and　dried　roseleaves　seemed　to　drench　the；
very　soul　with　the　aroma　of　the　past。　　Above　the　huge　fireplace；　with
light　falling　on　one　side　of　his　shaven　face；　hung　a　portrait
painter　unknownof　that　Cardinal　Caradoc　who　suffered　for　his　faith
in　the　sixteenth　century。　　Ascetic；　crucified；　with　a　little　smile
clinging　to　the　lips　and　deep…set　eyes；　he　presided；　above　the
bluefish　flames　of　a　log　fire。

Father　and　son　found　some　difficulty　in　beginning。

Each　of　those　two　felt　as　though　he　were　in　the　presence　of　someone
else's　very　near　relation。　　They　had；　in　fact；　seen　extremely　little
of　each　other；　and　not　seen　that　little　long。

Lord　Valleys　uttered　the　first　remark：

〃Well；　my　dear　fellow；　what　are　you　going　to　do　now？　　I　think　we　can
make　certain　of　this　seat　down　here；　if　you　like　to　stand。〃

Miltoun　had　answered：　〃Thanks；　very　much；　I　don't　think　so　at
present。〃

Through　the　thin　fume　of　his　cigar　Lord　Valleys　watched　that　long
figure　sunk　deep　in　the　chair　opposite。

〃Why　not？〃　he　said。　　〃You　can't　begin　too　soon；　unless　you　think　you
ought　to　go　round　the　world。〃

〃Before　I　can　become　a　man　of　it？〃

Lord　Valleys　gave　a　rather　disconcerted　laugh。

〃There's　nothing　in　politics　you　can't　pick　up　as　you　go　along；〃　he
said。　　〃How　old　are　you？〃

〃Twenty…four。〃

〃You　look　older。〃　　A　faint　line；　as　of　contemplation；　rose　between
his　eyes。　　Was　it　fancy　that　a　little　smile　was　hovering　about
Miltoun's　lips？

〃I've　got　a　foolish　theory；〃　came　from　those　lips；　〃that　one　must
know　the　conditions　first。　　I　want　to　give　at　least　five　years　to
that。〃

Lord　Valleys　raised　his　eyebrows。　　〃Waste　of　time；〃　he　said。　　〃You'd
know　more　at　the　end　of　it；　if　you　went　into　the　House　at　once。　　You
take　the　matter　too　seriously。〃

〃No　doubt。〃

For　fully　a　minute　Lord　Valleys　made　no　answer；　he　felt　almost
ruffled。　　Waiting　till　the　sensation　had　passed；　he　said：　〃Well；　my
dear　fellow；　as　you　please。〃

Miltoun's　apprenticeship　to　the　profession　of　politics　was　served　in
a　slum　settlement；　on　his　father's　estates；　in　Chambers　at　the
Temple；　in　expeditions　to　Germany；　America；　and　the　British　Colonies；
in　work　at　elections；　and　in　two　forlorn　hopes　to　capture　a
constituency　which　could　be　trusted　not　to　change　its　principles。　　He
read　much；　slowly；　but　with　conscientious　tenacity；　poetry；　history；
and　works　on　philosophy；　religion；　and　social　matters。

Fiction；　and　especially　foreign　fiction；　he　did　not　care　for。　　With
the　utmost　desire　to　be　wide　and　impartial；　he　sucked　in　what
ministered　to　the　wants　of　his　nature；　rejecting　unconsciously　all
that　by　its　unsuitability　endangered　the　flame　of　his　private　spirit。
What　he　read；　in　fact；　served　only　to　strengthen　those　profounder
convictions　which　arose　from　his　temperament。　　With　a　contempt　of　the
vulgar　gewgaws　of　wealth　and　rank　he　combined　a　humble　but　intense
and　growing　conviction　of　his　capacity　for　leadership；　of　a　spiritual
superiority　to　those　whom　he　desired　to　benefit。　　There　was　no　trace；
indeed；　of　the　common　Pharisee　in　Miltoun；　he　was　simple　and　direct；
but　his　eyes；　his　gestures；　the　whole　man；　proclaimed　the　presence　of
some　secret　spring　of　certainty；　some　fundamental　well　into　which　no
disturbing　glimmers　penetrated。　　He　was　not　devoid　of　wit；　but　he　was
devoid　of　that　kind　of　wit　which　turns　its　eyes　inward；　and　sees
something　of　the　fun　that　lies　in　being　what　you　are。　　Miltoun　saw
the　world　and　all　the　things　thereof　shaped　like　spireseven　when
they　were　circles。　　He　seemed　to　have　no　sense　that　the　Universe　was
equally　compounded　of　those　two　symbols；　whose　point　of
reconciliation　had　not　yet　been　discovered。

Such　was　he；　then；　when　the　Member　for　his　native　division　was　made　a
peer。

He　had　reached　the　age　of　thirty　without　ever　having　been　in　love；
leading　a　life　of　almost　savage　purity；　with　one　solitary　breakdown。
Women　were　afraid　of　him。　　And　he　was　perhaps　a　little　afraid　of
woman。　　She　was　in　theory　too　lovely　and　desirablethe　half…moon。
in　a　summer　sky；　in　practice　too　cloying；　or　too　harsh。　　He　had　an
affection　for　Barbara；　his　younger　sister；　but　to　his　mother；　his
grandmother；　or　his　elder　sister　Agatha；　he　had　never　felt　close。　　It
was　indeed　amusing　to　see　Lady　Valleys　with　her　first…born。　　Her　fine
figure；　the　blown　roses　of　her　face；　her　grey…blue　eyes　which　had　a
slight　tendency　to　roll；　as　though　amusement　just　touched　with
naughtiness　bubbled　behind　them；　were　reduced　to　a　queer；　satirical
decorum　in　Miltoun's　presence。　　Thoughts　and　sayings　verging　on　the
risky　were　characteristic　of　her　robust　physique；　of　her　soul　which
could　afford　to　express　almost　ail　that　occurred　to　it。　　Miltoun　had
never；　not　even　as　a　child；　given　her　his　confidence。　　She　bore　him
no　resentment；　being　of　that　large；　generous　build　in　body　and　mind；
rarelynever　in　her　classassociated　with　the　capacity　for　feeling
aggrieved　or　lowered　in　any　estimation；　even　its　own。　　He　was；　and
always　had　been；　an　odd　boy；　and　there　was　an　end　of　it！　　Nothing　had
perhaps　so　disconcerted　Lady　Valleys　as　his　want　of　behaviour　in
regard　to　women。　　She　felt　it　abnormal；　just　as　she　recognized　the
essential　if　duly　veiled　normality　of　her　husband　and　younger　son。
It　was　this　feeling　which　made　her　realize　almost　more　vividly　than
she　had　time　for；　in　the　whirl　of　politics　and　fashion；　the　danger　of
his　friendship　with　this　lady　to　whom　she　alluded　so　discreetly　as
'Anonyma。'

Pure　chance　had　been　responsible　for　the　inception　of　that
friendship。　　Going　one　December　afternoon　to　the　farmhouse　of　a
tenant；　just　killed　by　a　fall　from　his　horse；　Miltoun　had　found　the
widow　in　a　state　of　bewildered　grief；　thinly　cloaked　in　the　manner　of
one　who　had　almost　lost　the　power　to　express　her　feelings；　and　quite
lost　it　in　presence　of　'the　gentry。'　　Having　assured　the　poor　soul
that　she　need　have　no　fear　about　her　tenancy；　he　was　just　leaving；
when　he　met；　in　the　stone…flagged　entrance；　a　lady　in　a　fur　cap　and
jacket；　carrying　in　her　arms　a　little　crying　boy；　bleeding　from　a　cut
on　the　forehead。　　Taking　him　from　her　and　placing　him　on　a　table　in
the　parlour；　Miltoun　looked　at　this　lady；　and　saw　that　she　was
extremely　grave；　and　soft；　and　charming。　　He　inquired　of　her　whether
the　mother　should　be　told。

She　shook　her　head。

〃Poor　thing；　not　just　now：　let's　wash　it；　and　bind　it　up　first。〃

Together　therefore　they　washed　and　bound　up　the　cut。　　Having
finished；　she　looked　at　Miltoun；　and　seemed　to　say：　〃You　would　do　the
telling　so　much　better　than　I〃

He；　therefore；　told　the　mother　and　was　rewarded　by　a　little　smile
from　the　grave　lady。

》From　that　meeting　he　took　away　the　knowledge　of　her　name；　Audrey　Lees
Noel；　and　the　remembrance　of　a　face；　whose　beauty；　under　a　cap　of
squirrel's　fur；　pursued　him。　　Some　days　later　passing　by　the　village
green；　he　saw　her　entering　a　garden　gate。　　On　this　occasion　he　had
asked　her　whether　she　would　like　her　cottage　re…thatched