on the firing line-第26部分

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ching　the　face　on　the　pillow；　grieving　for　the　waning　life；　now　and　then　she　raised　her　eyes　to　the　other　face　on　the　opposite　side　of　the　bed；　and　told　herself　that　Fate；　harsh　as　it　was；　was　yet　not　altogether　unpitying。　Although　wounded　and　worn　and　sick　at　heart；　Weldon　was　with　her；　and　intensely　alive。

〃Ethel！〃

Bending　forward；　she　laid　her　strong；　firm　hand　upon　the　hand　of　the　Captain；　noting；　as　she　did　so；　that　the　finger　tips　were　cold　to　her　own　warm　touch。

〃Yes？〃　she　said　gently。

〃You　are　here？　It　troubles　me　to　see。　Stay　with　me　to　the　end；　Ethel。　It　won't　be　so　very　long。〃

She　bowed　her　head；　but　the　answer　came　firmly。

〃I　will　stay。〃

There　was　a　short　silence。　Then；　gathering　together　all　his　strength；　the　Captain　went　on　quite　steadily；

〃It　won't　be　so　very　long；　Ethel。　I　am　sorry。　I　liked　to　live。　I　have　had　a　good　time；　and　I　had　no　idea　that　my　good　times　were　so　nearly　over。　Not　that　it　would　have　made　much　difference；　though。　And　yet；　when　one　comes　to　the　end；　all　of　a　sudden；　one　finds　a　great　many　things　that　are　left　unfinished。〃

She　made　no　attempt　to　answer。

Gently　he　urged　the　final　words　upon　her　attention。

〃There　are　always　so　many　things　left　unfinished；〃　he　repeated。

〃Yes；〃　she　said　faintly。

Slowly；　as　if　its　weight　dragged　sorely　upon　his　failing　strength；　he　raised　her　hand　to　the　pillow　and　rested　his　cheek　upon　it。

〃Don't　cry；　Ethel；〃　he　said　then。　〃Of　course；　if　I　had　lived；　it　might　have　meant　so　much　to　us　both。〃

Involuntarily　she　caught　her　breath　and　made　a　swift　gesture；　as　if　to　withdraw　her　hand。　Then；　with　a　hasty　glance　at　Weldon；　leaning　against　the　opposite　wall；　she　controlled　herself　and　allowed　her　hand　to　rest　where　it　was。

〃It　would　have　meant　so　much　to　all　of　us；　Captain　Frazer。〃

〃Perhaps。　But　to　you　and　meEthel；　I　can't　go　out　of　life　and　give　you　up！〃　Pitifully；　longingly；　the　blue　eyes　stared　up　at　her　face　through　the　growing　shadows　of　waning　day　and　waning　life。　Longingly；　although　the　questioning　look　had　left　them。　In　its　place　was　an　infinite；　contented　love；　an　absolute　trust。

The　girl　nerved　herself　to　meet　his　eyes。　Then　she　drew　her　own　eyes　away；　to　give　another　hasty；　appealing　glance　up　into　Weldon's　paling　face。　For　him；　as　for　her；　the　moment　was　all　unexpected。　For　him；　as　for　her；　there　was　need　of　all　the　reserve　strength　in　life　to　go　through　it　honorably　and　without　flinching。

Up　to　that　very　hour；　no　thought　of　Leo　Frazer's　love　had　crossed　the　mind　of　Ethel　Dent。　They　had　been　friends；　good　comrades；　meeting　often　and　always　with　much　pleasure。　She　had　acknowledged　to　herself；　long　since；　that　he　was　a　man　among　men；　she　honored　him；　admired　him；　cared　for　him　as　she　might　have　cared　for　an　only　brother。　Beyond　that；　she　could　not　go。　Moreover；　it　had　never　occurred　to　her　that　Captain　Frazer　could　mistake　her　attitude　to　himself；　could　differentiate　her　light；　bright　cordiality　from　the　cordiality　she　showed　to　other　men。　When　she　had　met　him　first；　she　had　been　a　mere　girl　in　character　and　experience；　love　had　had　scant　place　in　her　girlish　dreams。　Later；　Weldon　had　come　into　her　life。　His　coming　had　changed　many　things　for　her；　but　it　had　made　no　change　in　her　attitude　to　the　Captain。　She　was　now；　as　always；　his　loyal；　admiring　friend；　no　less；　no　more。　She　had　supposed　that　he　had　felt　the　same　loyal　friendship　for　her。　Too　late；　she　realized　her　mistake。

〃You　must　have　known　it　all；　Ethel；〃　the　Captain　was　saying　steadily；　〃how　my　whole　life　has　seemed　to　go　into　yours。　I　have　never　told　you。　I　was　sure　you　knew　it；　without　any　telling；　and　I　have　been　waiting　until　the　war　was　over；　before　asking　you　to　go　home　with　me；　as　my　wife。　The〃　he　caught　his　breath　sharply；　〃the　war　is　over　for　me　now；　dearest。　I　can't　ask　you　to　go　home　with　me；　butTell　me；　Ethel；　I　have　not　been　mistaken；　all　these　months？　You　have　cared　for　me；　as　I　have　cared　for　you？〃　The　last　words　came　out　with　the　roundness　of　tone　he　had　used　in　health；　but　there　was　a　weary　drag　to　the　hand　that　drew　her　hand　still　nearer　to　his　cheek。　Ethel　faltered。　Then；　soldier…like；　she　braced　herself　to　fight　to　a　finish。　It　was　not　her　fault　that　the　man　had　mistaken　her　friendly；　cordial　liking　for　something　deeper；　infinitely　more　lasting。　She　had　never　consciously　played　with　him；　never　sought　to　win　his　love。　Blame　there　was　none；　it　was　all　only　a　mistake；　albeit　a　terrible　one。　Nevertheless

Desperately　she　glanced　up　from　the　blue　eyes；　still　so　wishfully　fixed　upon　her　own；　up　to　the　drawn；　white　face　of　the　haggard　man　on　the　farther　side　of　the　bed。　In　that　instant；　the　girl　fought　madly　with　herself。　Then　her　eyes　dropped　back　to　the　bed　once　more。　Eternity　and　time；　a　final　short；　comforting　word　to　the　one；　a　long　explanation　to　the　other。　The　mistake；　if　mistake　there　were；　had　been　all　of　her　doing。　Bravely　she　would　take　the　bitter　consequences。　Captain　Frazer's　day　was　passing　fast。　The　night　remained　for　her　talk　with　Weldon。　Her　eyes　dropped　back　to　the　bed；　and　her　hand　yielded　itself　to　the　pressure　of　the　ice…cold　fingers。

〃Yes；〃　she　said　slowly　and　so　faintly　that　Weldon；　standing　breathless；　could　scarcely　hear　the　words；　〃I　have　cared　for　you；　as　you　have　cared　for　me。〃

The　fingers　tightened　over　her　hand；　but　the　lids　drooped　heavily　above　the　dark　blue　eyes。

〃Dearestgirl。〃　Then；　smiling　to　himself；　Captain　Leo　Frazer　fell　asleep。　The　next　moment　counted　itself　out　by　slow　seconds。　Then　Ethel　raised　her　head　and　turned　to　smile　drearily　up　at　Weldon。

Instead；　she　found　herself　smiling　up　at　an　empty　wall。　Harvard　Weldon　had　vanished　and　had　left　for　her　no　word　of　farewell。




CHAPTER　TWENTY


Up　Commissioner　Street　and　down　Commissioner　Street　and　around　and　around　Market　Square　tramped　a　haggard　man　in　khaki　who　surveyed　all　things　with　dull；　unseeing　eyes。　On　his　cheek；　an　inch　or　so　above　his　stubbly　beard；　was　a　wide　cross　of　plaster；　and　his　left　wrist　wore　a　narrow　bandage。　He　walked　with　quick；　nervous　strides；　yet　every　now　and　then　he　halted　to　rest　for　a　moment。　Then　he　hurried　on　again；　as　if　pursued　by　some　unseen；　but　malignant　foe。

Twice　he　turned　northward　and　paused　before　the　hospital；　staring　irresolutely　up　at　the　lighted　windows。　Then；　facing　about　abruptly；　he　moved　on；　swiftly；　but　with　the　mechanical　tread　of　a　man　in　a　dream。　Once　he　found　himself　resting　on　the　steps　of　the　Jewish　synagogue。　The　next　time　he　roused　himself　to　take　note　of　his　surroundings；　he　was　at　the　Berea　Estate；　following　Hospital　Hill　straight　to　the　eastward。　It　was　then　that　he　had　turned　about　and　faced　back　to　the　hospital。　A　scant　half…dozen　hours　before；　that　hospital　had　held　what　was　all　the　world　to　him。　Now；　without　warning；　that　all　had　proved　to　be　naught。

The　blow　had　come　crashing　upon　him；　straight　between　the　eyes　and　so　suddenly　that　there　had　been　no　time　for　him　to　brace　himself　to　meet　it。　From　the　moment　of　his　facing　Ethel　in　the　doorway　of　the　hospital；　that　noon；　he　had　been　sure　that　the　talk　which　he　would　have　with　her；　that　evening；　could　bring　but　the　one　ending。　At　sight　of　the　soiled　and　haggard　man　before　her；　her　blue　eyes　had　lighted　with　something　far　more　than　pleased　surprise。　His　appearing　had　been　quite　unexpected；　her　meeting　with　him　had　been　the　naked　impulse　of　her　girlish　heart。　And；　all　that　endless　day；　her　grief　for　the　Captain　had　in　no　way　hidden　her　evident　pleasure　in　his　own　presence。　And　then；　all　at　once；　had　come　the　end；　unexpected　and　hence　doubly　crushing。　His　young；　newborn　happiness　was　as　little　strong　to　bear　the　blow　as　were　his　exhausted　body　and　his　shattered　nerve。　Like　a　wild　beast　wounded　to　the　death；　he　had　crept　silently　away；　to　go　through　his　agony；　unseen。

Standing　under　the　fierce　glare　of　the　electric　light　by　the　hospital　gate；　his　appearance　would　wellnigh　have　baffled　the　recognition　of　his　mother。　Soiled　and　stained　and　tattered；　his　head　sunk　between　his　shoulders；　he　looked　a　feeble　man　of　middle　years。　Dark　shadows　lay　around　his　heavy　gray　eyes；　and　the　corners　of　his　mouth　drooped　pitifully。　And；　somewhere　inside　that　building；　was　the　girl　who　had　snatched　away　from　him　what　was　dearer　than　life　itself。　For　six　long　months　she　had　been　the　incentive　to　all　of　his　best　work；　it　had　been　her　influence　which　finally　had　led　him　to　come　back　into　the　firing　line；　it　had　been　in　the　hope　for　the　future；　a　hope　growing　less　and　less　vague　as　the　months　passed　by；　that　he　had　been　willing　and　glad　to　prolong　his　stay　through　one　more　torrid　African　summer。　And　to　what　end？

Strange　to　say；　it　never　once　occurred　to　him　to　try　to　win　her　love　now；　after　all　that　bad　passed。　Still　less　did　it　occur　to　him　to　doubt　the　truth　of　her　final　words　to　the　Captain。　Weldon　had　missed　the　look　of　appealing　anguish　in　the　blue　eyes　which　she　had　lifted　to　his；　but　he　had　heard　the　low；　steady　voice；　had　seen　the　pressure　of　the　living　fingers　answer　to　the　slight　movement　of　the　hand　already　growing　cold。　He　had　heard；　and　seen。　It　was　enough。　Always　he　had　believed　implicitly　in　Ethel's　truth。　There　was　no　reason　he　should　distrust　her　now。　It　was　only　that　he　had　been　an　egregious　ass　to　think　that　be　could　win　her　love；　in　the　face　of　a　man　like　Captain　Leo　Frazer。　With　a　mighty　effort；　he　straightened　his　shoulders；　faced　the　wing　where　he　knew　the　Captain　would　now　be　lying　and　reverently　removed　his　hat。　Then；　for　one　last　time；　his　eyes　swept　over　the　building　and；　turning　away；　he　crawled　off　towards　the　railway　station。

And；　meanwhile；　alone　in　a　room　behind　one　of　those　brightly…lighted　windows；　a　girl　sat　huddled　together；　her　crossed　arms　on　her　knees　and　her　face　buried　in　her　arms；　while　she　wailed　to　herself　over　and　over　again；

〃He　might　have　waited！　He　might　have　waited！　My　God　in　heaven；　what　have　I　done？　But　at　least　he　might　have　waited！〃

A　commissariat　train　was　leaving　Johannesburg　at　two　o'clock　the　next　morning。　His　pass　in　his　hand；　Weldon　clambered　drearily　on　the　train　for　the　long　ride　back　to　Kroonstad。　Motion　of　any　kind　was　better　than　remaining　longer　in　Johannesburg。　Nevertheless；　the　jolting　of　the　train　was　wellnigh　unbearable。　His　shoulder　throbbed；　and　the　dull　pain　in　hi