on the firing line-第34部分

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ng　to　banish　those　memories　from　her　life。　Why　keep　them？　They　belonged　to　a　chapter　that　was　dead　and　gone。　Better　to　seal　its　pages　and　never　break　the　seal。　Better　never　to　reread　what　had　been　written　there。　If　she　had　been　mistaken　in　giving　her　love　where　it　was　not　desired；　not　only　should　the　world　never　be　aware　of　the　fact；　but　she　herself　would　ignore　the　existence　of　that　mistake。　She　had　loved　Weldon　with　all　the　energy　of　her　headstrong；　girlish　nature。　She　had　supposed　that　he　had　loved　her　in　return。　Instead　of　that；　he　had　gone　away　and　left　her　without　a　word；　just　when　her　need　for　him　was　the　greatest。　No　man　in　his　senses　could　have　seen　the　agony　of　that　last　hour　she　had　spent　with　Captain　Frazer；　and　failed　to　understand　the　pitiful；　appealing　look　she　had　cast　upon　him。　Unable　to　escape　the　agony；　she　had　given　this　tacit　call　to　Weldon　to　share　it　with　her；　to　understand；　and　to　forgive。　She　had　been　sure　she　could　trust　him；　but　it　was　evident　that　she　had　trusted　him　in　vain。　In　the　hour　of　her　supremest　need；　he　had　gone　away　and　left　her　alone。　No　man　who　cared　for　her　could　have　forsaken　her　in　such　a　crisis　as　that。　Her　lips　curved　into　a　hard　little　smile；　as　she　sat　rocking　to　and　fro　in　the　sunshine；　and；　going　back　over　a　past　which　she　had　rarely　allowed　herself　to　reopen。

And　afterwards？　Afterwards　Fate　had　been　all　against　her。　It　had　been　easy　to　escape　from　her　engagement　at　Johannesburg；　comparatively　easy　to　shut　the　past　experience　into　the　inner　places　of　her　mind；　to　close　her　lips　with　the　show　of　a　smile；　and　to　plunge　into　a　whirl　of　social　life　which　should　leave　her　no　time　for　quiet　thought。　So　long　as　she　kept　her　secret　to　herself；　it　mattered　nothing　to　the　girl　that　it　was　eating　pitilessly　at　her　vitality；　that　it　was　ever　hard　and　harder　for　her　to　keep　up　her　ceaseless　round　of　gayety。

And　then；　all　at　once；　their　home　life　had　been　invaded　by　the　man　who　was　never　absent　from　her　thoughts。　In　a　sense；　she　was　glad　of　the　invasion。　It　proved　to　her；　more　surely　than　any　words　could　have　done；　that　she　had　kept　her　secret　well　and　beyond　suspicion。　Had　her　mother　gained　any　inkling　of　the　true　state　of　the　case；　Harvard　Weldon　would　never　have　been　brought　away　from　the　room　at　the　Grand。　For　so　much　surety；　Ethel　Dent　could　rejoice　with　a　thankful　heart。　Nevertheless；　as　the　days　passed　by；　Weldon's　presence　in　the　house　increased　the　strain　tenfold。　Night　after　night；　Ethel　had　crept　noiselessly　from　her　room　across　the　hallway　and　crouched　outside　his　door；　listening　for　any　sounds　from　within　which　might　tell　her　that　all　was　well　with　the　man　whom　she　would　not　see。　Day　after　day；　she　forced　her　life　to　run　along　in　its　usual　grooves；　going　out　of　the　house　with　a　laugh　on　her　lips　and；　in　her　heart；　the　sickening　dread　of　the　tidings　which　might　greet　her　upon　her　return。　Again　and　again；　as　she　passed　the　door　left　open　during　the　nurse's　temporary　absence　from　the　room；　she　put　forth　all　her　strength　to　keep　herself　from　stealing　in；　to　look　just　once　on　the　unconscious　face　of　the　man　who　had　made　her　whole　life。　But　she　held　herself　in　check；　and　never　once　yielded　to　the　temptation。　Well　she　might　hold　herself　in　check。　She　realized　only　too　keenly　that；　once　face　to　face　with　Weldon；　she　would　have　to　do　over　again　all　the　weary　work　of　those　weeks　of　self…　repression。

Then　the　stupor　had　given　place　to　delirium；　and；　even　in　her　room　and　behind　her　closed　door；　she　could　hear　the　low；　muttering　voice。　After　that；　she　crouched　no　more　outside　his　room。　It　would　have　been　impossible　for　her　to　say　just　what　it　was　that　she　dreaded　to　hear。　Nevertheless；　she　closed　her　ears　as　resolutely　as　she　closed　her　door；　but；　when　she　met　the　nurse　on　the　stairs；　she　hurried　onward　with　her　face　turned　away　and　her　cheeks　ablaze。

And　then　in　its　turn　the　delirium　had　ended。　From　that　time　forward；　Ethel　went　out　more　constantly　than　ever。　When　she　was　in　the　house；　she　started　and　grew　red　or　pale　at　every　unexpected　step。　Now；　at　any　hour；　there　might　come　a　summons　for　her　to　go　to　the　invalid's　room。　She　went　over　in　detail　every　possible　reply　she　could　make　to　every　possible　word　which　Weldon　might　say。　She　held　herself　ready　for　any　emergency。　But　the　days　dragged　away；　and　no　emergency　had　come。

And　then；　as　it　had　chanced；　she　had　been　away　from　home；　when　Weldon　had　finally　left　the　house。　It　had　been　the　fulfilment　of　an　old　promise　which　had　taken　her　to　spend　two　days　with　a　friend　in　Newlands。　She　had　had　no　notion　that　the　time　for　Weldon's　going　away　was　at　hand。　Neither；　on　the　other　hand；　had　Weldon　any　idea　that　Ethel　was　absent　from　home。　He　had　merely　taken　advantage　of　the　first　day　when　the　doctor　had　ceased　to　oppose　his　removal。　It　had　been　to　him　a　cruel　disappointment　that　Mrs。　Dent　had　stood　alone　on　the　steps　to　watch　his　departure。

That　was　three　weeks　before。　Ethel　had　supposed　that　Weldon　would　sail　for　home　at　once。　He　had　supposed　so；　too；　until　all　at　once　he　had　found　it　impossible　to　turn　his　back　upon　Cape　Town　and　all　it　held。　Deep　down　in　his　heart　was　the　memory　of　Carew's　words；　assuring　him　of　the　reason　of　Ethel's　sudden　journey　to　Johannesburg　after　the　fight　at　Vlaakfontein。　The　episode　was　now　far　away　in　the　past。　It　might　chance；　however；　that　something　of　the　old　mood　might　linger　in　her　mind。　Carew　had　felt　sure　of　her　love　for　him。　Perhaps　she　had　loved　him　once；　before　the　Captain　had　won　the　first　place　in　her　heart。　PerhapsHe　had　grown　dizzy　and　had　grasped　the　edge　of　the　pillow　to　steady　himself；　the　first　time　the　idea　had　dawned　upon　himPerhaps；　now　that　the　Captain　had　gone　beyond　the　reach　of　human　love；　he　might　win　her　to　care　for　himself　once　more。　The　chance　appeared　to　him　to　be　wellnigh　impossible；　yet；　while　it　lingered　in　his　mind；　he　could　not　force　himself　to　go　away　from　Cape　Town。

The　worst　of　his　convalescence　was　ended；　before　he　was　allowed　to　leave　the　Dents'　home。　He　strained　every　nerve　to　hasten　his　full　recovery。　The　path　of　Ethel　Dent　was　not　parallel　to　the　course　of　any　semi…invalid。　If　he　were　to　meet　her　at　all；　it　must　be　as　a　man　in　full　health。　By　degrees；　the　color　came　back　to　his　face；　his　lean　figure　lost　something　of　its　lankness；　his　tread　grew　firmer　and　more　alert。　But　the　old　shadow　still　lingered　in　his　eyes；　the　strained　lines　about　his　lips　did　not　relax。　Weldon's　mental　healing　kept　no　pace　with　his　physical　one。

By　degrees；　too；　his　table　littered　itself　with　cards　of　invitation。　As　yet；　he　felt　himself　too　weak　for　any　but　the　most　informal　functions；　and　Carew；　always　at　his　elbow；　assured　him　from　his　own　experience　that　informality；　just　then；　was　an　unknown　word　in　the　social　vocabulary　of　Cape　Town。　Carew；　bidden　on　all　sides；　was　dividing　his　time　between　his　convalescent　friend　and　the　gayeties　of　early　winter。　He　dined　and　danced　almost　without　ceasing；　and；　in　the　intervals　of　his　dining　and　dancing；　he　told　over　to　Weldon　all　the　details　of　his　social　career。　And　these　details　largely　concerned　themselves　with　Ethel　Dent：　how　she　looked；　what　she　wore；　what　she　said；　with　whom　she　danced　and　with　whom　she　sat　it　out。　And；　as　he　listened；　Weldon　made　up　his　mind　that；　for　him；　the　time　for　resting　at　home　was　ended。　It　was　better；　easier　to　go　to　see　for　himself　than　it　was　to　sit　at　home　and　imagine　things；　or　to　hear　about　them；　after　they　had　happened。　There　was　to　be　a　reception　at　the　Citadel；　next　week。　He　would　begin　with　that。

One　resolution　led　to　the　next。　Only　two　days　after　he　had　determined　upon　the　reception；　he　ordered　Kruger　Bobs　to　saddle　the　gray　broncho　and　to　attend　him　upon　The　Nig。　Then；　when　the　noon　sun　lay　warm　over　the　city；　he　mounted　and；　with　Kruger　Bobs　behind　him；　he　rode　slowly　down　Adderley　Street　to　the　water　front；　and　turned　eastward　to　the　home　of　the　Dents。

The　wide　veranda　and　the　great　white　pillars　seemed　like　home　to　him；　in　all　truth。　That　house　had　been　the　scene　of　some　of　his　best　hours；　as　of　his　worst　ones；　and　his　heart　pounded　madly　against　his　ribs　as　he　caught　sight　of　its　familiar　outlines。　Then　he　drew　in　his　breath　sharply　and　bore　down　hard　in　his　stirrups；　while　his　face　went　white　to　the　lips。　From　the　western　end　of　the　veranda　a　girlish　figure　had　risen；　halted　for　a　moment　with　the　sun　beating　full　upon　her　vivid　hair；　then；　heedless　of　the　distant　riders；　it　had　turned　and　disappeared　within　the　doorway。

The　maid's　face　brightened；　as　she　met　Weldon　at　the　door。　〃But　Mrs。　Dent　is　not　at　home；〃　she　said；　with　honest　regret　in　her　voice。　〃She　has　gone　out　of　town。〃

Weldon　controlled　his　own　voice　as　best　he　might。

〃And　Miss　Dent？〃　he　asked。

However；　the　maid　had　just　broken　the　Baden…Powell　tea…cup。　Its　fragments　were　still　upon　the　floor；　and　she　had　no　mind；　just　then；　to　face　her　young　mistress。

〃Miss　Dent　is　not　at　home；〃　she　answered；　with　glib　mendacity。　And　then　she　wondered　why　it　was　that　Weldon's　pallor　turned　from　white　to　gray；　as　he　went　away　down　the　steps。

Nevertheless；　he　fulfilled　his　resolution　of　going　to　the　reception　at　the　Citadel。　For　one　reason；　he　had　given　his　word　to　Carew。　Moreover；　he　felt　that；　for　the　honor　of　his　manhood；　he　must　accept　his　fate　like　a　man。　Four　months　before　that　time；　Ethel　Dent　had　stabbed　him　almost　to　the　death。　Now；　with　delicate　precision；　she　had　struck　him　full　across　the　face。　The　touch　had　hurt　him　far　more　than　the　deeper　wound　had　done；　but；　at　least；　she　should　never　be　aware　of　it。　To　his　mind；　she　had　forfeited　all　right　to　the　knowledge。

He　dressed　with　careful　precision。　More　than　once　he　was　forced　to　sit　down　for　a　moment；　more　than　once　his　fingers　refused　to　do　his　bidding　and　his　hands　dropped　inertly　at　his　side。　However；　Carew　found　him　waiting；　hat　in　hand；　and　together　they　drove　away　to　the　Citadel。

Already；　when　they　reached　the　door；　the　reception　was　nearing　its　highest　tide。　The　rooms　were　bright　with　uniforms　and　with　trailing　gowns；　gay　with　the　hum　of　voices；　and　the　lilt　of　a　waltz　came　softly　to　them　from　across　the　distance。　As　they　halted　on　the　threshold；　Weldon　lifted　his　eyes　and　suddenly　found　them　resting　full　upon　Ethel　Dent。　The　girl　was　quite　at　the　farther　end　of　the　l