tommy and co.-第19部分

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then　rose　and　crossed　the　room。

〃I　thought　at　first；〃　explained　Jack　Herring；　recounting　the　
incident　later　in　the　evening；　〃that　I　must　be　dreaming。　　There　he　
sat；　drinking　his　five　o'clock　whisky…and…soda；　the　same　Joey　
Loveredge　I　had　known　for　fifteen　years；　yet　not　the　same。　　Not　a　
feature　altered；　not　a　hair　on　his　head　changed；　yet　the　whole　face　
was　different；　the　same　body；　the　same　clothes；　but　another　man。　　
We　talked　for　half　an　hour；　he　remembered　everything　that　Joey　
Loveredge　had　known。　　I　couldn't　understand　it。　　Then；　as　the　clock　
struck；　and　he　rose；　saying　he　must　be　home　at　half…past　five；　the　
explanation　suddenly　occurred　to　me：　　JOEY　LOVEREDGE　WAS　DEAD；　THIS　
WAS　A　MARRIED　MAN。〃

〃We　don't　want　your　feeble　efforts　at　psychological　romance；〃　told　
him　Somerville　the　Briefless。　　〃We　want　to　know　what　you　talked　
about。　　Dead　or　married；　the　man　who　can　drink　whisky…and…soda　must　
be　held　responsible　for　his　actions。　　What's　the　little　beggar　mean　
by　cutting　us　all　in　this　way？　　Did　he　ask　after　any　of　us？　　Did　he　
leave　any　message　for　any　of　us？　　Did　he　invite　any　of　us　to　come　
an　see　him？〃

〃Yes；　he　did　ask　after　nearly　everybody；　I　was　coming　to　that。　　But　
he　didn't　leave　any　message。　　I　didn't　gather　that　he　was　pining　
for　old　relationships　with　any　of　us。〃

〃Well；　I　shall　go　round　to　the　office　to…morrow　morning；〃　said　
Somerville　the　Briefless；　〃and　force　my　way　in　if　necessary。　　This　
is　getting　mysterious。〃

But　Somerville　returned　only　to　puzzle　the　Autolycus　Club　still　
further。　　Joey　had　talked　about　the　weather；　the　state　of　political　
parties；　had　received　with　unfeigned　interest　all　gossip　concerning　
his　old　friends；　but　about　himself；　his　wife；　nothing　had　been　
gleaned。　　Mrs。　Loveredge　was　well；　Mrs。　Loveredge's　relations　were　
also　well。　　But　at　present　Mrs。　Loveredge　was　not　receiving。

Members　of　the　Autolycus　Club　with　time　upon　their　hands　took　up　
the　business　of　private　detectives。　　Mrs。　Loveredge　turned　out　to　
be　a　handsome；　well…dressed　lady　of　about　thirty；　as　Peter　Hope　had　
desired。　　At　eleven　in　the　morning；　Mrs。　Loveredge　shopped　in　the　
neighbourhood　of　the　Hampstead　Road。　　In　the　afternoon；　Mrs。　
Loveredge；　in　a　hired　carriage；　would　slowly　promenade　the　Park；　
looking；　it　was　noticed；　with　intense　interest　at　the　occupants　of　
other　carriages　as　they　passed；　but　evidently　having　no　
acquaintances　among　them。　　The　carriage；　as　a　general　rule；　would　
call　at　Joey's　office　at　five；　and　Mr。　and　Mrs。　Loveredge　would　
drive　home。　　Jack　Herring；　as　the　oldest　friend；　urged　by　the　other　
members；　took　the　bull　by　the　horns　and　called　boldly。　　On　neither　
occasion　was　Mrs。　Loveredge　at　home。

〃I'm　damned　if　I　go　again！〃　said　Jack。　　〃She　was　in　the　second　
time；　I　know。　　I　watched　her　into　the　house。　　Confound　the　stuck…up　
pair　of　them！〃

Bewilderment　gave　place　to　indignation。　　Now　and　again　Joey　would　
creep；　a　mental　shadow　of　his　former　self；　into　the　Club　where　once　
every　member　would　have　risen　with　a　smile　to　greet　him。　　They　gave　
him　curt　answers　and　turned　away　from　him。　　Peter　Hope　one　
afternoon　found　him　there　alone；　standing　with　his　hands　in　his　
pockets　looking　out　of　window。　　Peter　was　fifty；　so　he　said；　maybe　
a　little　older；　men　of　forty　were　to　him　mere　boys。　　So　Peter；　who　
hated　mysteries；　stepped　forward　with　a　determined　air　and　clapped　
Joey　on　the　shoulder。

〃I　want　to　know；　Joey；〃　said　Peter；　〃I　want　to　know　whether　I　am　to　
go　on　liking　you；　or　whether　I've　got　to　think　poorly　of　you。　　Out　
with　it。〃

Joey　turned　to　him　a　face　so　full　of　misery　that　Peter's　heart　was　
touched。　　〃You　can't　tell　how　wretched　it　makes　me；〃　said　Joey。　　〃I　
didn't　know　it　was　possible　to　feel　so　uncomfortable　as　I　have　felt　
during　these　last　three　months。〃

〃It's　the　wife；　I　suppose？〃　suggested　Peter。

〃She's　a　dear　girl。　　She　only　has　one　fault。〃

〃It's　a　pretty　big　one；〃　returned　Peter。　　〃I　should　try　and　break　
her　of　it　if　I　were　you。〃

〃Break　her　of　it！〃　cried　the　little　man。　　〃You　might　as　well　advise　
me　to　break　a　brick　wall　with　my　head。　　I　had　no　idea　what　they　
were　like。　　I　never　dreamt　it。〃

〃But　what　is　her　objection　to　us？　　We　are　clean；　we　are　fairly　
intelligent〃

〃My　dear　Peter；　do　you　think　I　haven't　said　all　that；　and　a　hundred　
things　more？　　A　woman！　she　gets　an　idea　into　her　head；　and　every　
argument　against　it　hammers　it　in　further。　　She　has　gained　her　
notion　of　what　she　calls　Bohemia　from　the　comic　journals。　　It's　our　
own　fault；　we　have　done　it　ourselves。　　There's　no　persuading　her　
that　it's　a　libel。〃

〃Won't　she　see　a　few　of　usjudge　for　herself？　　There's　Porsonwhy　
Porson　might　have　been　a　bishop。　　Or　SomervilleSomerville's　
Oxford　accent　is　wasted　here。　　It　has　no　chance。〃

〃It　isn't　only　that；〃　explained　Joey；　〃she　has　ambitions；　social　
ambitions。　　She　thinks　that　if　we　begin　with　the　wrong　set；　we'll　
never　get　into　the　right。　　We　have　three　friends　at　present；　and；　
so　far　as　I　can　see；　are　never　likely　to　have　any　more。　　My　dear　
boy；　you'd　never　believe　there　could　exist　such　bores。　　There's　a　
man　and　his　wife　named　Holyoake。　　They　dine　with　us　on　Thursdays；　
and　we　dine　with　them　on　Tuesdays。　　Their　only　title　to　existence　
consists　in　their　having　a　cousin　in　the　House　of　Lords；　they　claim　
no　other　right　themselves。　　He　is　a　widower；　getting　on　for　eighty。　　
Apparently　he's　the　only　relative　they　have；　and　when　he　dies；　they　
talk　of　retiring　into　the　country。　　There's　a　fellow　named　Cutler；　
who　visited　once　at　Marlborough　House　in　connection　with　a　charity。　　
You'd　think　to　listen　to　him　that　he　had　designs　upon　the　throne。　　
The　most　tiresome　of　them　all　is　a　noisy　woman　who；　as　far　as　I　can　
make　out；　hasn't　any　name　at　all。　　'Miss　Montgomery'　is　on　her　
cards；　but　that　is　only　what　she　calls　herself。　　Who　she　really　is！　　
It　would　shake　the　foundations　of　European　society　if　known。　　We　
sit　and　talk　about　the　aristocracy；　we　don't　seem　to　know　anybody　
else。　　I　tried　on　one　occasion　a　little　sarcasm　as　a　corrective
recounted　conversations　between　myself　and　the　Prince　of　Wales；　in　
which　I　invariably　addressed　him　as　'Teddy。'　　It　sounds　tall；　I　
know；　but　those　people　took　it　in。　　I　was　too　astonished　to　
undeceive　them　at　the　time；　the　consequence　is　I　am　a　sort　of　
little　god　to　them。　　They　come　round　me　and　ask　for　more。　　What　am　
I　to　do？　　I　am　helpless　among　them。　　I've　never　had　anything　to　do　
before　with　the　really　first…prize　idiot；　the　usual　type；　of　
course；　one　knows；　but　these；　if　you　haven't　met　them；　are　
inconceivable。　　I　try　insulting　them；　they　don't　even　know　I　am　
insulting　them。　　Short　of　dragging　them　out　of　their　chairs　and　
kicking　them　round　the　room；　I　don't　see　how　to　make　them　
understand　it。〃

〃And　Mrs。　Loveredge？〃　asked　the　sympathetic　Peter；　〃is　she〃

〃Between　ourselves；〃　said　Joey；　sinking　his　voice　to　a　needless　
whisper；　seeing　he　and　Peter　were　the　sole　occupants　of　the　
smoking…room〃I　couldn't；　of　course；　say　it　to　a　younger　manbut　
between　ourselves；　my　wife　is　a　charming　woman。　　You　don't　know　
her。〃

〃Doesn't　seem　much　chance　of　my　ever　doing　so；〃　laughed　Peter。

〃So　graceful；　so　dignified；　soso　queenly；〃　continued　the　little　
man；　with　rising　enthusiasm。　　〃She　has　only　one　faultshe　has　no　
sense　of　humour。〃

To　Peter；　as　it　has　been　said；　men　of　forty　were　mere　boys。

〃My　dear　fellow；　whatever　could　have　induced　you〃

〃I　knowI　know　all　that；〃　interrupted　the　mere　boy。　　〃Nature　
arranges　it　on　purpose。　　Tall　and　solemn　prigs　marry　little　women　
with　turned…up　noses。　　Cheerful　little　fellows　like　myselfwe　
marry　serious；　stately　women。　　If　it　were　otherwise；　the　human　race　
would　be　split　up　into　species。〃

〃Of　course；　if　you　were　actuated　by　a　sense　of　public　duty〃

〃Don't　be　a　fool；　Peter　Hope；〃　returned　the　little　man。　　〃I'm　in　
love　with　my　wife　just　as　she　is；　and　always　shall　be。　　I　know　the　
woman　with　a　sense　of　humour；　and　of　the　two　I　prefer　the　one　
without。　　The　Juno　type　is　my　ideal。　　I　must　take　the　rough　with　
the　smooth。　　One　can't　have　a　jolly；　chirpy　Juno；　and　wouldn't　care　
for　her　if　one　could。〃

〃Then　are　you　going　to　give　up　all　your　old　friends？〃

〃Don't　suggest　it；〃　pleaded　the　little　man。　　〃You　don't　know　how　
miserable　it　makes　methe　mere　idea。　　Tell　them　to　be　patient。　　
The　secret　of　dealing　with　women；　I　have　found；　is　to　do　nothing　
rashly。〃　　The　clock　struck　five。　　〃I　must　go　now；〃　said　Joey。　　
〃Don't　misjudge　her；　Peter；　and　don't　let　the　others。　　She's　a　dear　
girl。　　You'll　like　her；　all　of　you；　when　you　know　her。　　A　dear　
girl！　　She　only　has　that　one　fault。〃

Joey　went　out。

Peter　did　his　best　that　evening　to　explain　the　true　position　of　
affairs　without　imputing　snobbery　to　Mrs。　Loveredge。　　It　was　a　
difficult　task；　and　Peter　cannot　be　said　to　have　accomplished　it　
successfully。　　Anger　and　indignation　against　Joey　gave　place　to　
pity。　　The　members　of　the　Autolycus　Club　also　experienced　a　little　
irritation　on　their　own　account。

〃What　does　the　woman　take　us　for？〃　demanded　Somerville　the　
Briefless。　　〃Doesn't　she　know　that　we　lunch　with　real　actors　and　
actresses；　that　once　a　year　we　are　invited　to　dine　at　the　Mansion　
House？〃

〃Has　she　never　heard　of　the　aristocracy　of　genius？〃　demanded　
Alexander　the　Poet。

〃The　explanation　may　be　that　possibly　she　has　seen　it；〃　feared　the　
Wee　Laddie。

〃One　of　us　ought　to　waylay　the　woman；〃　argued　the　Babe〃insist　
upon　her　talking　to　him　for　ten　minutes。　　I've　half　a　mind　to　do　it　
myself。〃

Jack　Herring　said　nothingseemed　thoughtful。

The　next　morning　Jack　Herring；　still　thoughtful；　called　at　the　
editorial　offices　of　Good　Humour；　in　Crane　Court；　and　borrowed　Miss　
Ramsbotham's　Debrett。　　Three　days　later　Jack　Herring　informed　the　
Club　casually　that　he　had　dined　the　night　before　with　Mr。　and　Mrs。　
Loveredge。　　The　Club　gave　Jack　Herring　politely　to　understand　that　
they　regarded　him　as　a　liar；　and　proceeded　to　demand　particulars。

〃If　I　wasn't　there；〃　explained　Jack　Herring；　with　unanswerable　
logic；　〃how　can　I　tell　you　anything　about　it？〃

This　annoyed　the　Club；　whose　curiosity　had　been　whetted。　　Three　
members；　acting