remember the alamo-第11部分

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Dare　thought　her　wonderfully　lovely　and　gracious。　　He　sat　with
her　on　the　balcony；　and　talked　of　Jack；　telling　her　how　clever
he　was；　and　how　all　his　comrades　loved　him　for　his　sunny
temper　and　affectionate　heart。

It　was　a　happy　dinner；　lengthened　out　with　merry　conversation。　
Every　one　thought　that　a　few　hours　might　be　given　to　family
love　and　family　joy。　　It　would　be　good　to　have　the　memory　of
them　in　the　days　that　were　fast　coming。　　So　they　sat　long
over　the　sweetmeats；　and　fresh　figs；　and　the　pale　wines　of
Xeres　and　Alicante。　　And　they　rose　up　with　laughter；　looking
into　each　others'　faces　with　eyes　that　seemed　to　bespeak　love
and　remembrance。　　And　then　they　went　from　the　table；　and　saw
not　Destiny　standing　cold　and　pitiless　behind　them；　marking
two　places　for　evermore　vacant。

There　was　not　much　siesta　that　day。　　The　Senora；　Isabel　and
Jack　sat　together；　the　Senora　dozed　a　little；　but　not　enough
to　lose　consciousness　of　Jack's　presence　and　Jack's　voice。　
The　father；　happy；　and　yet　acutely　anxious；　went　to　and　fro
between　his　children　and　his　study。　　Antonia　and　Dare　were　in
the　myrtle　walk　or　under　the　fig…tree。　　This　hour　was　the
blossoming　time　of　their　lives。　　And　it　was　not　the　less　sweet
and　tender　because　of　the　dark　shadows　on　the　edge　of　the
sunshine。　　Nor　were　they　afraid　to　face　the　shadows；　to
inquire　of　them；　and　thus　to　taste　the　deeper　rapture　of　love
when　love　is　gemmed　with　tears。

It　was　understood　that　the　young　men　were　going　away　in　the
morning　very　early；　so　early　that　their　adieus　must　be　said
with　their　good…nights。　　It　was　at　this　hour　that　the
Senora　found　courage　to　ask：

〃My　Juan；　where　do　you　go？

〃To　Gonzales；　mi　madre。〃

〃But　why？　　Oh；　Juan；　do　not　desert　your　madre；　and　your
country！

〃Desert　you；　madre！　　I　am　your　boy　to　my　last　breath！　　My
country　I　love　with　my　whole　soul。　　That　is　why　I　have　come
back　to　you　and　to　her！　　She　is　in　trouble　and　her　sons　must
stand　by　her。〃

〃Do　not　talk　with　two　meanings。　　Oh；　Juan！　why　do　you　go　to
Gonzales？〃

〃We　have　heard　that　Colonel　Ugartchea　is　to　be　there　soon；　and
to　take　away　the　arms　of　the　Americans。　　That　is　not　to　be
endured。　　If　you　yourself　were　a　man；　you　would　have　been　away
ere　this　to　help　them；　I　am　sure。〃

〃ME！！　　The　Blessed　Virgin　knows　I　would　cut　off　my　hands　and
feet　first。　　Juan；　listen　to　me　dear　one！　　You　are　a　Mexican。〃

〃My　heart　is　Mexican；　for　it　is　yours。　　But　I　must　stand　with
my　father　and　with　my　brother；　and　with　my　American
compatriots。　　Are　we　slaves；　that　we　must　give　up　our　arms？　
No；　but　if　we　gave　them　up　we　should　deserve　to　be
slaves。〃

〃God　and　the　saints！〃　she　answered；　passionately。　　〃What　a
trouble　about　a　few　guns！　　One　would　think　the　Mexicans　wanted
the　wives　and　children；　the　homes　and　lands　of　the　Americans。　
They　cry　out　from　one　end　of　Texas　to　the　other。〃

〃They　cry　out　in　old　England　and　in　New　England；　in　New　York；
in　New　Orleans；　and　all　down　the　Mississippi。　　And　men　are
crying　back　to　them：　　‘Stand　to　your　rifles　and　we　will　come
and　help　you！'　　The　idea　of　disarming　ten　thousand　Americans！〃
Jack　laughed　with　scornful　amusement　at　the　notion。　　〃What　a
game　it　will　be！　　Mother；　you　can't　tell　how　a　man　gets　to
love　his　rifle。　　He　that　takes　our　purse　takes　trash；　but　our
rifles！　　By　George　Washington；　that's　a　different　story！〃

Juan；　my　darling；　you　are　my　last　hope。　　Your　brother　was　born
with　an　American　heart。　　He　has　even　become　a　heretic。　　Fray
Ignatius　says　he　went　into　the　Colorado　and　was　what　they　call
immersed；　he　that　was　baptized　with　holy　water　by　the　thrice
holy　bishop　of　Durango。　　My　beloved　one；　go　and　see　Fray
Ignatius；　late　as　it　is；　he　will　rise　and　counsel　you。

〃My　heart；　my　conscience；　my　country；　my　father；　my　brother；
Santa　Anna's　despotism；　have　already　counselled　me。〃

〃Speak　no　more。　　I　see　that　you　also　are　a　rebel　and　a
heretic。　　Mother　of　sorrows；　give　me　thy　compassion！〃　　Then；
turning　to　Juan；　she　cried　out：　　〃May　God　pardon　me　for　having
brought　into　this　world　such　ingrates！　　Go　from　me！　　You　have
broken　my　heart！

He　fell　at　her　feet；　and；　in　spite　of　her　reluctance；　took　her
hands

〃Sweetest　mother；　wait　but　a　little　while。　　You　will　see　that
we　are　right。　　Do　not　be　cross　with　Juan。　　I　am　going　away。　
Kiss　me；　mother。　　Kiss　me；　and　give　me　your　blessing。〃

〃No；　I　will　not　bless　you。　　I　will　not　kiss　you。　　You　want
what　is　impossible；　what　is　wicked。〃

〃I　want　freedom。〃

〃And　to　get　freedom　you　tread　upon　your　mother's　heart。　　　　　
Let　loose　my　hands。　　I　am　weary　to　death　of　this　everlasting
talk　of　freedom。　　I　think　indeed　that　the　Americans　know
but　two　words：　freedom　and　dollars。　　Ring　for　Rachela。　　She；
at　least；　is　faithful　to　me。〃

〃Not　till　you　kiss　me；　mother。　　Do　not　send　me　away　unblessed
and　unloved。　　That　is　to　doom　me　to　misfortune。　　Mi　madre；
I　beg　this　favor　from　you。〃　　He　had　risen；　but　he　still　held
her　hands；　and　he　was　weeping　as　innocent　young　men　are　not
ashamed　to　weep。

If　she　had　looked　at　him！　　Oh；　if　she　had　but　once　looked　at
his　face；　she　could　not　have　resisted　its　beauty；　its　sorrow；
its　imploration！　　But　she　would　not　look。　　She　drew　her　hands
angrily　away　from　him。　　She　turned　her　back　upon　her　suppliant
son　and　imperiously　summoned　Rachela。

〃Good…by；　mi　madre。〃

〃Good…by；　mi　madre！〃

She　would　not　turn　to　him；　or　answer　him　a　word。

〃Mi　madre；　here　comes　Rachela！　　Say　‘God　bless　you；　Juan。'　　It
is　my　last　word；　sweet　mother！〃

She　neither　moved　nor　　spoke。　The　next　moment　Rachela
entered；　and　the　wretched　woman　abandoned　herself　to　her　care
with　vehement　sobs　and　complainings。

Jack　was　inexpressibly　sorrowful。　　He　went　into　the　garden；
hoping　in　its　silence　and　solitude　to　find　some　relief。　　He
loved　his　mother　with　his　strongest　affection。　　Every　one　of
her　sobs　wrung　his　heart。　　Was　it　right　to　wound　and　disobey
her　for　the　sake　offreedom？　　Mother　was　a　certain　good；
freedom　only　a　glorious　promise。　　Mother　was　a　living　fact；
freedom　an　intangible　idea。

Ah；　but　men　have　always　fought　more　passionately　for　ideas
than　for　facts！　　Tyrants　are　safe　while　they　touch　only　silver
and　gold；　but　when　they　try　to　bind　a　man's　idealsthe
freedom　of　his　citizenshipthe　purity　of　his　faithhe　will
die　to　preserve　them　in　their　integrity。

Besides；　freedom　for　every　generation　has　but　her　hour。　　If
that　hour　is　not　seized；　no　other　may　come　　for　the　men　who
have　suffered　it　to　pass。　　But　mother　would　grow　more　loving
as　the　days　went　by。　　And　this　was　ever　the　end　of　Jack's
reasoning；　for　no　man　knows　how　deep　the　roots　of　his　nature
strike　into　his　native　land；　until　he　sees　her　in　the
grasp　of　a　tyrant；　and　hears　her　crying　to　him　for
deliverance。

The　struggle　left　the　impress　on　his　face。　　He　passed　a
boundary　in　it。　　Certain　boyish　feelings　and　graces　would
never　again　be　possible　to　him。　　He　went　into　the　house；
weary；　and　longing　for　companionship　that　would　comfort　or
strengthen　him。　　Only　Isabel　was　in　the　parlor。　　She　appeared
to　be　asleep　among　the　sofa　cushions；　but　she　opened　her　eyes
wide　as　he　took　a　chair　beside　her。

〃I　have　been　waiting　to　kiss　you　again；　Juan；　do　you　think
this　trouble　will　last　very　long？〃

〃It　will　be　over　directly；　Iza。　　Do　not　fret　yourself　about
it；　angel　mio。　　The　Americans　are　great　fighters；　and　their
quarrel　is　just。　　Well；　then；　it　will　be　settled　by　the　good
God　quickly。〃

〃Rachela　says　that　Santa　Anna　has　sent　off　a　million　of　men　to
fight　the　Americans。　　Some　they　will　cut　in　pieces；　and　some
are　to　be　sent　to　the　mines　to　work　in　chains。〃

〃God　is　not　dead　of　old　age；　Iza。　　Santa　Anna　is　a　miraculous
tyrant。　　He　has　　committed　every　crime　under　heaven；　but
I　think　he　will　not　cut　the　Americans　in　pieces。〃

〃And　if　the　Americans　should　even　make　him　go　back　to　Mexico！〃

〃I　think　that　is　very　possible。〃

〃What　then；　Juan？〃

〃He　would　pay　for　some　of　his　crimes　here　the　rest　he　would
settle　for　in　purgatory。　　And　you；　too；　Iza；　are　you　with　the
Americans？〃

〃Luis　Alveda　says　they　are　right。〃

〃Oh…h！　　I　see！　　So　Luis　is　to　be　my　brother　too。　　Is　that　so；
little　dear？〃

〃Have　you　room　in　your　heart　for　him？　　Or　has　this　Dare　Grant
filled　it？〃

〃If　I　had　twenty　sisters；　I　should　have　room　for　twenty
brothers；　if　they　were　like　Dare　and　Luis。　　But；　indeed；　Luis
had　his　place　there　before　I　knew　Dare。〃

〃And　perhaps　you　may　see　him　soon；　he　is　with　Senor　Sam
Houston。　　Senor　Houston　was　here　not　a　week　ago。　　Will　you
think　of　that？　　And　the　mother　and　uncle　of　Luis　are　angry　at
him；　he　will　be　disinherited；　and　we　shall　be　very　poor；　I
think。　　But　there　is　always　my　father；　who　loves　Luis。〃

〃Luis　will　win　his　own　inheritance。　　I　think　you　will　be　very
rich。〃

〃And；　Juan；　if　you　see　Luis；　say　to　him；　‘Iza　thinks　of　you
continually。'〃

At　this　moment　Rachela　angrily　called　her　charge

〃Are　you　totally　and　forever　wicked；　disobedient　one？　　Two
hours　I　have　been　kept　waiting。　　Very　well！　　The；　Sisters　are
the　only　duenna　for　you；　and　back　to　the　convent　you　shall　go
to…morrow。　　The　Senora　is　of　my　mind；　also。〃

〃My　father　will　not　permit　it。　　I　will　go　to　my　father。　　And
think　of　this；　Rachela：　I　am　no　longer　to　be　treated　like　a
baby。〃　　But　she　kissed　Juan　‘farewell；'　and　went　away　without
further　dispute。

The　handsome　room　looked　strangely　lonely　and　desolate　when
the　door　had　closed　behind　her。　　Jack　rose；　and　roughly　shook
himself；　as　if　by　that　means　he　hoped　to　throw　off　the
oppression　and　melancholy　that　was　invading　even　his　light
heart。　　Hundreds　of　moths　were　dashing　themselves　to　death
against　the　high　glass　shade　that　covered　the　blowing　candles
from　them。　　He　stood　and　looked　at　their　hopeless　efforts
to　reach　the　flame。　　He　had　an　unpleasant　thought；　one　of
those　thoughts　which　have　the　force　of　a　presentiment。　　He　put
it　away　with　annoyance；　muttering；　〃It　is　time　enough　to　meet
misfortune　when　it　comes。〃

The　sound　of　a　footstep　made　him　stand　erect　and　face　the
door。

It　was　only　a　sleepy　peon　with　a　request　that　he　would　go　to
his　father's　study。　　A　different　mental　atmosphere　met　him
there。　　The　doctor　was　walking　up　and　down　the　room；　and　Dare
and　Antonia