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remember the alamo-第11部分

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Dare thought her wonderfully lovely and gracious。  He sat with
her on the balcony; and talked of Jack; telling her how clever
he was; and how all his comrades loved him for his sunny
temper and affectionate heart。

It was a happy dinner; lengthened out with merry conversation。 
Every one thought that a few hours might be given to family
love and family joy。  It would be good to have the memory of
them in the days that were fast coming。  So they sat long
over the sweetmeats; and fresh figs; and the pale wines of
Xeres and Alicante。  And they rose up with laughter; looking
into each others' faces with eyes that seemed to bespeak love
and remembrance。  And then they went from the table; and saw
not Destiny standing cold and pitiless behind them; marking
two places for evermore vacant。

There was not much siesta that day。  The Senora; Isabel and
Jack sat together; the Senora dozed a little; but not enough
to lose consciousness of Jack's presence and Jack's voice。 
The father; happy; and yet acutely anxious; went to and fro
between his children and his study。  Antonia and Dare were in
the myrtle walk or under the fig…tree。  This hour was the
blossoming time of their lives。  And it was not the less sweet
and tender because of the dark shadows on the edge of the
sunshine。  Nor were they afraid to face the shadows; to
inquire of them; and thus to taste the deeper rapture of love
when love is gemmed with tears。

It was understood that the young men were going away in the
morning very early; so early that their adieus must be said
with their good…nights。  It was at this hour that the
Senora found courage to ask:

〃My Juan; where do you go?

〃To Gonzales; mi madre。〃

〃But why?  Oh; Juan; do not desert your madre; and your
country!

〃Desert you; madre!  I am your boy to my last breath!  My
country I love with my whole soul。  That is why I have come
back to you and to her!  She is in trouble and her sons must
stand by her。〃

〃Do not talk with two meanings。  Oh; Juan! why do you go to
Gonzales?〃

〃We have heard that Colonel Ugartchea is to be there soon; and
to take away the arms of the Americans。  That is not to be
endured。  If you yourself were a man; you would have been away
ere this to help them; I am sure。〃

〃ME!!  The Blessed Virgin knows I would cut off my hands and
feet first。  Juan; listen to me dear one!  You are a Mexican。〃

〃My heart is Mexican; for it is yours。  But I must stand with
my father and with my brother; and with my American
compatriots。  Are we slaves; that we must give up our arms? 
No; but if we gave them up we should deserve to be
slaves。〃

〃God and the saints!〃 she answered; passionately。  〃What a
trouble about a few guns!  One would think the Mexicans wanted
the wives and children; the homes and lands of the Americans。 
They cry out from one end of Texas to the other。〃

〃They cry out in old England and in New England; in New York;
in New Orleans; and all down the Mississippi。  And men are
crying back to them:  ‘Stand to your rifles and we will come
and help you!'  The idea of disarming ten thousand Americans!〃
Jack laughed with scornful amusement at the notion。  〃What a
game it will be!  Mother; you can't tell how a man gets to
love his rifle。  He that takes our purse takes trash; but our
rifles!  By George Washington; that's a different story!〃

Juan; my darling; you are my last hope。  Your brother was born
with an American heart。  He has even become a heretic。  Fray
Ignatius says he went into the Colorado and was what they call
immersed; he that was baptized with holy water by the thrice
holy bishop of Durango。  My beloved one; go and see Fray
Ignatius; late as it is; he will rise and counsel you。

〃My heart; my conscience; my country; my father; my brother;
Santa Anna's despotism; have already counselled me。〃

〃Speak no more。  I see that you also are a rebel and a
heretic。  Mother of sorrows; give me thy compassion!〃  Then;
turning to Juan; she cried out:  〃May God pardon me for having
brought into this world such ingrates!  Go from me!  You have
broken my heart!

He fell at her feet; and; in spite of her reluctance; took her
hands

〃Sweetest mother; wait but a little while。  You will see that
we are right。  Do not be cross with Juan。  I am going away。 
Kiss me; mother。  Kiss me; and give me your blessing。〃

〃No; I will not bless you。  I will not kiss you。  You want
what is impossible; what is wicked。〃

〃I want freedom。〃

〃And to get freedom you tread upon your mother's heart。     
Let loose my hands。  I am weary to death of this everlasting
talk of freedom。  I think indeed that the Americans know
but two words: freedom and dollars。  Ring for Rachela。  She;
at least; is faithful to me。〃

〃Not till you kiss me; mother。  Do not send me away unblessed
and unloved。  That is to doom me to misfortune。  Mi madre;
I beg this favor from you。〃  He had risen; but he still held
her hands; and he was weeping as innocent young men are not
ashamed to weep。

If she had looked at him!  Oh; if she had but once looked at
his face; she could not have resisted its beauty; its sorrow;
its imploration!  But she would not look。  She drew her hands
angrily away from him。  She turned her back upon her suppliant
son and imperiously summoned Rachela。

〃Good…by; mi madre。〃

〃Good…by; mi madre!〃

She would not turn to him; or answer him a word。

〃Mi madre; here comes Rachela!  Say ‘God bless you; Juan。'  It
is my last word; sweet mother!〃

She neither moved nor  spoke。 The next moment Rachela
entered; and the wretched woman abandoned herself to her care
with vehement sobs and complainings。

Jack was inexpressibly sorrowful。  He went into the garden;
hoping in its silence and solitude to find some relief。  He
loved his mother with his strongest affection。  Every one of
her sobs wrung his heart。  Was it right to wound and disobey
her for the sake offreedom?  Mother was a certain good;
freedom only a glorious promise。  Mother was a living fact;
freedom an intangible idea。

Ah; but men have always fought more passionately for ideas
than for facts!  Tyrants are safe while they touch only silver
and gold; but when they try to bind a man's idealsthe
freedom of his citizenshipthe purity of his faithhe will
die to preserve them in their integrity。

Besides; freedom for every generation has but her hour。  If
that hour is not seized; no other may come  for the men who
have suffered it to pass。  But mother would grow more loving
as the days went by。  And this was ever the end of Jack's
reasoning; for no man knows how deep the roots of his nature
strike into his native land; until he sees her in the
grasp of a tyrant; and hears her crying to him for
deliverance。

The struggle left the impress on his face。  He passed a
boundary in it。  Certain boyish feelings and graces would
never again be possible to him。  He went into the house;
weary; and longing for companionship that would comfort or
strengthen him。  Only Isabel was in the parlor。  She appeared
to be asleep among the sofa cushions; but she opened her eyes
wide as he took a chair beside her。

〃I have been waiting to kiss you again; Juan; do you think
this trouble will last very long?〃

〃It will be over directly; Iza。  Do not fret yourself about
it; angel mio。  The Americans are great fighters; and their
quarrel is just。  Well; then; it will be settled by the good
God quickly。〃

〃Rachela says that Santa Anna has sent off a million of men to
fight the Americans。  Some they will cut in pieces; and some
are to be sent to the mines to work in chains。〃

〃God is not dead of old age; Iza。  Santa Anna is a miraculous
tyrant。  He has  committed every crime under heaven; but
I think he will not cut the Americans in pieces。〃

〃And if the Americans should even make him go back to Mexico!〃

〃I think that is very possible。〃

〃What then; Juan?〃

〃He would pay for some of his crimes here the rest he would
settle for in purgatory。  And you; too; Iza; are you with the
Americans?〃

〃Luis Alveda says they are right。〃

〃Oh…h!  I see!  So Luis is to be my brother too。  Is that so;
little dear?〃

〃Have you room in your heart for him?  Or has this Dare Grant
filled it?〃

〃If I had twenty sisters; I should have room for twenty
brothers; if they were like Dare and Luis。  But; indeed; Luis
had his place there before I knew Dare。〃

〃And perhaps you may see him soon; he is with Senor Sam
Houston。  Senor Houston was here not a week ago。  Will you
think of that?  And the mother and uncle of Luis are angry at
him; he will be disinherited; and we shall be very poor; I
think。  But there is always my father; who loves Luis。〃

〃Luis will win his own inheritance。  I think you will be very
rich。〃

〃And; Juan; if you see Luis; say to him; ‘Iza thinks of you
continually。'〃

At this moment Rachela angrily called her charge

〃Are you totally and forever wicked; disobedient one?  Two
hours I have been kept waiting。  Very well!  The; Sisters are
the only duenna for you; and back to the convent you shall go
to…morrow。  The Senora is of my mind; also。〃

〃My father will not permit it。  I will go to my father。  And
think of this; Rachela: I am no longer to be treated like a
baby。〃  But she kissed Juan ‘farewell;' and went away without
further dispute。

The handsome room looked strangely lonely and desolate when
the door had closed behind her。  Jack rose; and roughly shook
himself; as if by that means he hoped to throw off the
oppression and melancholy that was invading even his light
heart。  Hundreds of moths were dashing themselves to death
against the high glass shade that covered the blowing candles
from them。  He stood and looked at their hopeless efforts
to reach the flame。  He had an unpleasant thought; one of
those thoughts which have the force of a presentiment。  He put
it away with annoyance; muttering; 〃It is time enough to meet
misfortune when it comes。〃

The sound of a footstep made him stand erect and face the
door。

It was only a sleepy peon with a request that he would go to
his father's study。  A different mental atmosphere met him
there。  The doctor was walking up and down the room; and Dare
and Antonia
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