remember the alamo-第19部分

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Worth　waiting　his　arrival。　　Fortunately　there　was　nothing　but
good　news　for　the　doctor。　　Luis　had　seen　everything　through
the　medium　of　his　own　happiness；　and　he　described　the
midnight　meal　and　the　Senora's　amiability　with　the　utmost
freedom　from　anything　unpleasant。　　Rachela's　interference　he
treated　with　scornful　indifference；　and　yet　it　affected
Worth's　mind　unpleasantly。　　For　it　went　straight　to　the　source
of　offence。　　〃She　must　have　had　Fray　Ignatius　behind　her。　　And
my　poor　Maria；　she　will　be　as　dough　for　them　to　knead　as　they
desire　to！〃

And；　in　fact；　as　he　was　thus　thinking；　the　Senora　was　lying
awake　in　her　bed；　anticipating　her　confessor's　next　visit。　
She　was　almost　glad　the　norther　was　still　blowing。　　It　would
give　her　another　day's　respite；　and　〃so　many　things　happen　as
the　clock　goes　round；〃　she　reflected。　　Perhaps　even　her
Roberto　might　arrive；　it　would　not　be　more　wonderful　than　the
visit　of　Luis　Alveda。

But　very　early　in　the　day　she　saw　the　father　hurrying　up　the
oleander　avenue。　　The　wind　tossed　his　gown；　and　blew　his　hat
backward　and　sideways；　and　compelled　him　to　make　undignified
haste。　　And　such　little　things　affect　the　mental　poise　and
mood！　　The　Senora　smiled　at　the　funny　figure　he　made；　and　with
the　smile　came　a　feeling　of　resistance　to　his　tyranny；
and　a　stubborn　determination　to　defend　her　own　conduct。

He　came　into　her　room　with　a　doleful　countenance；　saying；　as
he　crossed　himself；　〃God　be　here！〃

〃And　with　you；　father；〃　answered　the　Senora；　cheerfullya
mood　she　had　assumed　at　the　last　moment；　by　a　kind　of
instinct。

〃There　is　evil　news　on　every　hand　my　daughter。　　The　heretics
are　swarming　like　wolves　around　the　Missions。　　Several　of　our
holy　brothers　have　endured　the　last　extremity。　　These　wolves
will　even　enter　the　city；　and　you　will　be　in　danger。　　I　have
come　to　take　you　to　the　convent。　　There；　Holy　Mary　will　be
your　safety。〃

〃But　these　wolves　might　attack　the　convent；　father！〃

〃Our　Blessed　Lady　is　stronger　than　they。　　She　has　always　kept
her　own。〃

〃Blessed　be　the　hand　of　God　and　Mary！　will　trust　in　them。　　Ah；
Antonia！　　Listen　to　Fray　Ignatius！　　He　says　we　must　go　to　the
conventthe　heretics　are　coming。　　They　have　even　slain　some
priests　at　the　Mission。〃

〃Fray　Ignatius　has　been　misinformed；　dear　mother。　　When
a　man　wears　a　gown　and　has　no　arms　Americans　do　not　molest
him。　　That　is　certain。　　As　for　the　convent　it　is　impossible。　
My　father　forbade　it。　　If　the　Americans　enter　the　city；　he　is
with　them。　　He　will　protect　us；　if　we　should　need　it；　which　is
not　likely。〃

〃Disobedient　one！〃

〃Pardon。　　I　wish　only　to　obey　the　commands　of　my　father。〃

〃I　absolve　you　from　them。〃

〃They　are　between　God　and　my　soul。　　There　is　no　absolution
from　duty。〃

〃Grace　of　God！　　Hear　you；　Senora！　　Hear　you　the　rebellious　and
disobedient　one！　　She　has　defied　me　to　my　face！　　She　is　near
to　being　anathema！　　She　is　not　your　daughter！　　She　is
bewitched。　　Some　evil　spirit　has　possession　of　her。　　Let　no
one　touch　her　or　speak　to　her；　it　shall　be　a　mortal　sin。〃

Antonia　fell　at　her　mother's　knee。　　〃Mi　madre！　　I　am　your
daughter；　your　Antonia；　that　you　carried　in　your　breast；　and
that　loves　you　better　than　life。　　Permit　me　not　to　be　accused
of　sinto　be　called　a　devil。　　Mother；　speak　for　me。〃

At　this　moment　Isabel　entered。　　Seeing　the　distress　of
her　mother　and　sister　she　hastened　to　them；　but　Fray　Ignatius
stepped　between；　and　extending　his　arms　forbade　her　nearer
approach。

〃I　forbid　you　to　speak　to　your　sister。　　I　forbid　you　to　touch
her；　to　give　her　food；　or　water；　or　sympathy；　until　she　has
humbled　herself；　and　obtained　the　forgiveness　of　her　sin。〃

Then　mother　love　stood　up　triumphant　over　superstition。　　〃I
and　my　daughter　are　the　same；〃　said　the　Senora；　and　she　gave
her　hand　to　Antonia。　　〃If　she　has　sinned；　we　will　bear　the
penance　together；　she　and　I　together。〃

〃I　command　you　to　stand　apart。　　For　the　good　of　Antonia's
sinful　soul；　I　command　you　to　withdraw　yourself　from　her。〃

〃She　is　my　daughter；　father。　　I　will　bear　the　sin　and　the
punishment　with　her。　　The　Holy　Mother　will　understand　me。　　To
her　I　will　go。〃

The　door　of　her　room　was　at　hand；　she　stepped　swiftly　to　it；
and　putting　her　daughters　before　her；　passed　in　and　turned　the
key。

The　movement　took　the　priest　by　surprise；　and　yet　he　was
secretly　satisfied　with　it。　　He　had　permitted　himself　to　act
with　an　imprudence　most　unusual。　　He　had　allowed　the
Senora　to　find　out　her　own　moral　strength；　and　made　a
situation　for　her　in　which　she　had　acted　not　only　without　his
support；　but　against　his　authority。

〃And　yet；〃　he　muttered；　〃so　much　depends　upon　my　persuading
her　into　the　convent；　however；　nothing　now　is　to　be　done　to…
day；　except　to　see　Rachela。　　Saint　Joseph！　if　these　American
heretics　were　only　in　my　power！　　What　a　long　joy　I　would　make
of　them！　　I　would　cut　a　throatjust　one　throatevery　day　of
my　life。〃

The　hatred　which　could　contemplate　a　vengeance　so　long　drawn
out　was　on　his　dark　face；　yet；　it　is　but　justice　to　say；　that
he　sincerely　believed　it　to　be　a　holy　hatred。　　The　foes　of　the
church；　he　regarded　as　the　foes　of　God；　and　his　anger　as　a
just　zeal　for　the　honor　of　the　Lord　of　Hosts。　　Beside　which；
it　included　a　far　more　tangible　cause。

The　accumulated　treasures　of　the　Missions；　their　gold　and
gems；　their　costly　vestments　and　holy　vessels；　had　been
removed　to　the　convent　for　safety。　　〃These　infidels　of
Americans　give　to　women　the　honor　they　should　give　to　God　and
Holy　Church；〃　he　said　to　his　brethren。　　〃They　will　not
suffer　the　Sisters　to　be　molested；　and　our　wealth　will　be　safe
wherever　they　are。〃

But　this　wealth　was　really　so　immense；　that　he　believed　it
might　be　well　to　secure　it　still　further；　and　knowing　the
position　Dr。　Worth　held　among　his　countrymen；　he　resolved　to
induce　his　wife　and　daughters　to　seek　refuge　within　the
convent。　　They　were；　in　fact；　to　be　held　as　hostages；　for　the
protection　of　the　property　of　the　Church。

That　he　should　fail　in　his　plan　was　intolerable　to　him。　　He
had　been　so　confident　of　success。　　He　imagined　the　smile　on
the　face　of　Fray　Sarapiam；　and　the　warning　against　self…
confidence　he　would　receive　from　his　superior；　and　he　vowed　by
Saint　Joseph　that　he　would　not　suffer　himself　to　be　so
mortified　by　three　women。

Had　he　seen　the　Senora　after　the　first　excitement　of　her
rebellion　was　over；　he　would　have　been　satisfied　of　the
validity　of　his　authority；　at　least　as　regarded　her。　　She
flung　herself　at　the　foot　of　her　altar；　weeping　and　beating
her　breast　in　a　passion　of　self…accusation　and　contrition。　
Certainly；　she　had　stood　by　her　daughter　in　the　presence
of　the　priest；　but　in　her　room　she　withdrew　herself　from　the
poor　girl　as　if　she　were　a　spiritual　leper。

Antonia　at　a　distance　watched　the　self…abasement　of　her
mother。　　She　could　not　weep；　but　she　was　white　as　clay；　and
her　heart　was　swollen　with　a　sense　of　wrong　and　injustice；
until　breathing　was　almost　suffocation。　　She　looked　with　a
piteous　entreaty　at　Isabel。　　Her　little　sister　had　taken　a
seat　at　the　extremity　of　the　room　away　from　her。　　She　watched
Antonia　with　eyes　full　of　terror。　　But　there　was　no　sympathy
in　her　face；　only　an　uncertainty　which　seemed　to　speak　to
herto　touch　her　and　her　mother　was　broken…hearted　with
shame　and　grief。

The　anxiety　was　also　a　dumb　one。　　Until　the　Senora　rose　from
her　knees；　there　was　not　a　movement　made；　not　a　word　uttered。　
The　girls　waited　shivering　with　cold；　sick　with　fear；　until
she　spoke。　　Even　then　her　words　were　cold　as　the　wind　outside：

〃Go　to　your　room；　Antonia。　　You　have　not　only　sinned；　you　have
made　me　sin　also。　　Alas！　　Alas！　　Miserable　mother！　　Holy
Maria！　pray　for　me。〃

〃Mi　madre；　I　am　innocent　of　wrong。　　I　have　committed　no　sin。　
Is　it　a　sin　to　obey　my　father？　　Isabel；　darling；　speak　for
me。〃

〃But；　then；　what　have　you　done；　Antonia？〃

〃Fray　Ignatius　wants　us　to　go　to　the　convent。　　I　refused。　　My
father　made　me　promise　to　do　so。　　Is　not　our　first　duty　to　our
father？　　Mother；　is　it　not？

〃No；　no；　to　Godand　to　Fray　Ignatius；　as　the　priest　of　God。　
He　says　we　ought　to　go　to　the　convent。　　He　knows　best。　　We
have　been　disobedient　and　wicked。〃

〃Isabel；　speak；　my　dear　one。　　Tell　mi　madre　if　you　think　we
should　go。〃

There　was　a　moment's　wavering；　and　then　Isabel　went　to　her
mother　and　caressed　her　as　only　Isabel　could　caress　her；　and
with　the　kisses；　she　said　boldly：　　〃Mi　madre；　we　will　not　go
to　the　convent。　　Not　any　of　us。　　It　is　a　dreadful　place；　even
for　a　happy　child。　　Oh；　how　cold　and　still　are　the　Sisters！　
They　are　like　stone　figures　that　move　about。〃

〃Hush；　child！　　I　cannot　listen　to　you！　　Go　away！　　I　must　be
alone。　　I　must　think。　　I　must　pray。　　Only　the　Mother　of
Sorrows　can　help　me。〃

It　was　a　miserable　sequence　to　the　happy　night；　and　Antonia
was　really　terrified　at　the　position　in　which　she　found
herself。　　If　the　Americans　should　fall；　nothing　but　flight；　or
uncompromising　submission　to　Fray　Ignatius；　remained　for　her。　
She　knew　only　too　well　how　miserable　her　life　could　be　made；
what　moral　torture　could　be　inflicted；　what　spiritual
servitude　exacted。　　In　a　moment　of　time　she　had　comprehended
her　danger；　and　her　heart　sank　and　sickened　with　a　genuine
physical　terror。

The　cold　was　still　severe；　and　no　one　answered　her　call　for
wood。　　Isabel　crouched；　white　and　shivering；　over　the　dying
embers；　and　it　was　she　who　first　uttered　the　fear　Antonia　had
refused　to　admit　to　herself〃Suppose　the　servants　are
forbidden　to　wait　upon　us！〃

〃I　will　bring　wood　myself；　dearest。〃　　She　was　greatly
comforted　by　the　word　〃us。〃　　She　could　almost　have　wept　for
joy　of　the　sympathy　it　included。　　For　thought　is　rapid　in　such
crucial　moments；　and　she　had　decided　that　even　flight　with　her
would　be　a　kinder　fate　for　Isabel；　than　the　cruel　tender
mercies　of　the　Sisters　and　the　convent。

They　could　not　talk　much。　　The　thought　of　their　mother's
anguish；　and　of　the　separation　put　between　them　and　their
household；　shocked　and　terrified　them。　　Vainly　they　called　for
fuel。　　At　dinner　time　no　table　was　laid；　and　no　preparations
made　for　the　meal。　　Then　Antonia　went　into　the　kitchen。　　She
took　with　her　food；　and　cooked　it。　　S