remember the alamo-第39部分

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hearing。　　She　herself　had　never　spoken　it。　　It　fell　upon　the
ears　of　both　women　like　a　strain　of　forgotten　music。　　They
looked　at　each　other　with　eyes　that　stirred　memory　and　love　to
their　sweetest　depths。　　Almost　in　whispers　they　began　to　talk
of　the　dead　boy；　to　recall　how　lovable；　how　charming；　how
affectionate；　how　obedient　he　had　been。　　Then　the　Senora　broke
open　the　seals　of　her　sorrow；　and；　with　bitter　reproaches　on
herself；　confessed　that　the　kiss　she　had　denied　her　Juan　was
a　load　of　anguish　upon　her　heart　that　she　could　not　bear。

〃If　I　had　only　blessed　him；〃　she　moaned；　〃I　had　saved　him　from
his　misfortune。　　A　mother's　blessing　is　such　a　holy　thing！　
And　he　knelt　at　my　knees；　and　begged　it。　　I　can　see　his　eyes
in　the　darkness；　when　my　eyes　are　shut。　　I　can　hear　his　voice
when　I　am　asleep。　　Isabel；　I　shall　never　be　happy　till　I　see
Juan　again；　and　say　to　him；　‘Forgive　me；　dear　one；　forgive　me；
for　I　have　suffered。'〃

Both　were　weeping；　but　Isabel　said；　bravely：　　〃I　am　sure
that　Juan　does　not　blame　you　now；　mi　madre。　　In　the　other
world　one　understands　better。　　And　remember；　also；　the　letter
which　he　wrote　you。　　His　last　thought　was　yours。　　He　fell　with
your　name　on　his　lips。　　These　things　are　certain。　　And　was　it
not　good　of　Dare　to　die　with　him？　　A　friend　like　that！　　Out　of
the　tale…books　who　ever　hears　of　such　a　thing？　　Antonia　has
wept　much。　　In　the　nights；　when　she　thinks　I　am　asleep；　I　hear
her。　　Have　you　seen　that　she　has　grown　white　and　thin？　　I
think　that　my　father　is　very　unhappy　about　her。〃

〃In　an　hour　of　mercy　may　the　merciful　One　remember　Dare　Grant！　
I　will　pray　for　his　peace　as　long　as　I　live。　　If　he　had　left
Juanif　he　had　come　back　aloneI　think　indeed　I　should　have
hated　him。〃

〃That　was　also　the　opinion　of　Antoniashe　would　never　have
loved　him　the　same。　　I　am　sure　she　would　not　have　married
him。〃

〃My　good　Antonia！　　Go　bring　her　to　me；　Isabel。　　I　want　to
comfort　her。　　She　has　been　so　patient　with　me。　　I　have　felt
itfelt　it　every　minute；　and　I　have　been　stupid　and　selfish；
and　have　forgotten　that　she　too　was　suffering。〃

The　next　day　it　was　found　impossible　to　move。　　The　majority　of
the　women　had　husbands　with　the　army。　　They　had　left　their
wives；　to　secure　everlasting　freedom　for　their　children；　but；
even　if　Houston　was　victorious；　they　might　be　wounded　and　need
their　help。　　To　be　near　them　in　any　case　was　the　one　thing
about　which　they　were　positive。

〃We　will　not　move　another　inch；〃　said　a　brave　little
Massachusetts　woman；　who　had　been　the　natural　leader　of　this
domestic　Exodus；　〃we　will　rest　ourselves　a　little　here；　and　if
the　Mexicans　want　some　extraordinary　fighting　they　can　have
it；　especially；　if　they　come　meddling　with　us　or　our　children。　
My　husband　told　me　just　to　get　out　of　reach　of　shot　and　shell
and　wait　there　till　we　heard　of　the　victory；　and　I　am　for
doing　THAT；　and　no　other　thing。〃

Nearly　two　hundred　women；　bent　upon　their　own　way；　are　not　to
be　taken　any　other　way；　and　the　few　old　men　who　had　been　sent
to　guide　the　party；　and　shoot　what　game　was　necessary　for
their　support；　surrendered　at　once　to　this　feminine　mutiny。　
Besides；　the　condition　of　the　boys　and　girls　between　seven　and
fourteen　was　really　a　deplorable　one。　　They　were　too　old
to　be　cared　for　as　infants；　and　they　had　been　obliged；　with
the　strength　of　children；　to　accomplish　the　labor　of　men　and
women。　　Many　were　crippled　in　their　feet；　others　were
continually　on　the　point　of　swooning。

It　was　now　the　20th　of　April。　　The　Senora　and　her　daughters
had　been　six　weeks　with　the　American　army；　exposed　to　all　the
privations　which　such　a　life　entailed。　　But　the　most　obvious
of　these　privations　were；　perhaps；　those　which　were　most
easily　borne。　　Women　endure　great　calamities　better　than　the
little　annoyances　affecting　those　wants　which　are　part　and
parcel　of　their　sex　or　their　caste。　　It　was　not　the
necessaries　so　much　as　the　luxuries　of　life　which　the　Senora
missedthe　changes　of　raimentthe　privacythe　quietthe
regularity　of　events。

During　the　whole　of　the　20th；　there　was　almost　a　Sabbath
stillness。　　It　was　a　warm；　balmy　day。　　The　wearied　children
were　under　the　wagons　and　under　the　trees；　sleeping　the　dead
sleep　of　extreme　exhaustion。　　The　mothers；　wherever　it　was
possible；　slept　also。　　The　guides　were　a　little　apart；
listening　and　smoking。　　If　they　spoke；　it　was　only　in
monosyllables。　　Rest　was　so　much　more　needed　than　food　that
little　or　no　attempt　was　made　to　cook　until　near　sundown。

At　dawn　next　morningnay；　a　little　before　dawnwhen　all　was
chill；　and　gray；　and　misty；　and　there　was　not　a　sound　but　the
wailing　of　a　sick　child；　the　Senora　touched　her　daughters。　
Her　voice　was　strange　to　them；　her　face　solemnly　happy。

〃Antonio！　　Isabel！　I　HAVE　SEEN　JUAN！　　I　HAVE　SEEN　JUAN！　　My
eyes　were　shut；　but　I　have　seen　him。　　He　was　a　beautiful
shadow；　with　a　great；　shadowy　host　around　him。　　He　bent　on　me
such　eyes！　　Holy　Mother！　their　love　was　unfathomable；　and　I
heard　his　voice。　　It　was　far　off；　yet　near。　　‘Madre！'　he　said；
‘TOMORROW　YOU　SHALL　HEAR　FROM　US。'　　Now　I　am　happy。　　There
are　words　in　my　heart；　but　I　cannot　explain　them　to　you。　　I
know　what　they　mean。　　I　will　weep　no　more。　　They　put　my　Juan's
body　in　the　grave；　but　they　have　not　buried　HIM。〃

All　day　she　was　silent　and　full　of　thought；　but　her　face　was
smiling　and　hopeful；　and　she　had　the　air　of　one　waiting　for
some　assured　happiness。　　About　three　o'clock　in　the
afternoon　she　stood　up　quickly　and　cried；　〃Hark！　the　battle
has　begun！〃　　Every　one　listened　intently；　and　after　a　short
pause　the　oldest　of　the　guides　nodded。　　〃I'd　give　the　rest　of
my　life　to　be　young　again；〃　he　said；　〃just　for　three　hours　to
be　young；　and　behind　Houston！〃

〃TO…MORROW　WE　SHALL　HEAR。〃

The　words　fell　from　the　Senora's　lips　with　a　singular
significance。　　Her　face　and　voice　were　the　face　and　voice　of
some　glad　diviner；　triumphantly　carrying　her　own　augury。　
Under　a　little　grove　of　trees　she　walked　until　sunset；　passing
the　beads　of　her　rosary　through　her　fingers；　and　mechanically
whispering　the　prayers　appointed。　　The　act　undoubtedly　quieted
her；　but　Antonia　knew　that　she　lay　awake　all　night；　praying
for　the　living　or　the　dead。

About　ten　o'clock　of　the　morning　of　the　22d；　a　horseman　was
seen　coming　toward　the　camp　at　full　speed。　　Women　and　children
stood　breathlessly　waiting　his　approach。　　No　one　could　speak。　
If　a　child　moved；　the　movement　was　angrily　reproved。　　The
tension　was　too　great　to　admit　of　a　touch　through　any
sense。　　Some；　unable　to　bear　the　extended　strain；　sank　upon
the　ground　and　covered　their　faces　with　their　hands。　　But　the
half…grown　children；　wan　with　privations　and　fever；　ragged　and
barefoot；　watched　steadily　the　horse　and　its　rider；　their
round；　gleaming　eyes　full　of　wonder　and　fear。

〃It　is　Thomas；〃　said　the　Senora。

As　he　came　near；　and　the　beat　of　the　horse's　hoofs　could　be
heard；　a　cry　almost　inarticulate；　not　to　be　described；　shrill
and　agonizing　in　its　intensity；　broke　simultaneously　from　the
anxious　women。　　It　was　one　cry　from　many　hearts；　all　at　the
last　point　of　endurance。　　Thomas　Worth　understood　it。　　He
flung　his　hat　up；　and　answered　with　a　joyful　〃Hurrah！〃

When　he　reached　the　camp；　every　face　was　wet　with　tears；　and
a　crowd　of　faces　was　instantly　round　him。　　All　the　agonies　of
war　were　on　them。　　He　raised　himself　in　his　stirrups　and
shouted　out：

〃You　may　all　go　back　to　your　homes！　　Santa　Anna　is　completely
overthrown！　　The　Mexican　army　is　destroyed！　　There　will　be　no
more　fighting；　no　more　fears。　　The　independence　of　Texas
is　won！　　No　matter　where　you　come　from；　YOU　ARE　ALL　TEXANS
NOW！　　Victory！　　Freedom！　　Peace！　　My　dear　friends；　go　back　to
your　homes。　　Your　husbands　will　join　you　at　the　San　Jacinto。〃

Then　he　dismounted　and　sought　his　mother　and　sisters。　　With
joyful　amazement　he　recognized　the　change　in　the　Senora。　　〃You
look　like　yourself；　dear　mother；〃　he　said。　　〃Father　sends　you
this　kiss。　　He　would　have　brought　it；　but　there　are　a　few
wounded　men　to　look　after；　and　also　I　can　ride　quicker。　
Antonia；　cheer　up　my　dear！and　Isabel；　little　darling；　you
will　not　need　to　cry　any　more　for　your　ribbons；　and　mantillas；
and　pretty　dresses。〃

〃Thomas！　　You　have　not　much　feeling；　I　think。　　What　I　want　to
know　about；　is　Luis。　　You　think　of　no　one；　and；　as　for　my
dresses；　and　mantillas；　I　dare　say　Fray　Ignatius　has　sold；　or
burned　them。〃

〃Queridita！　　Was　I　cruel？　　Luis　is　well。　　He　has　not　a
scratch。　　He　was　in　the　front　of　the　battle；　too。〃

〃THAT；　of　course。　　Would　you　imagine　that　Luis　would　be　at
the　rear？　　He　is　General　Houston's　friend；　and　one　lion
knows　another　lion。〃

〃Pretty　one；　do　not　be　angry　with　me。　　I　will　tell　you　some
good　news。　　Luis　is　coming　here；　unless　you　go　back　at　once
with　me。〃

〃We　will　go　back　with　you；　Thomas。　　I　am　full　of　impatience。　
I　remember　my　dear　home。　　I　will　go　to　it；　like　a　bird　to　its
nest。〃

In　half　an　hour　they　had　turned　the　heads　of　their　horses
westward　again。　　They　went　so　rapidly；　and　were　under　so　much
excitement；　that　sustained　conversation　was　impossible。　　And
the　Senora　also　fell　into　a　sound　sleep　as　soon　as　the　first
homeward　steps　had　been　taken。　　Whatever　had　been　made　known
to　her　by　Juan　had　received　its　fulfilment。　　She　was　assured
and　happy。　　She　slept　till　they　reached　the　victorious　camp；
and　her　husband　awakened　her　with　a　kiss。　　She　answered　him
with　her　old　childish　impulsiveness。　　And　among　the　first
words　she　said；　were〃　　〃Roberto；　my　beloved；　I　have　seen
Juan。〃

He　believed　her。　　To　his　reverent　soul　there　was　nothing
incredible　in　the　statement。　　The　tie　between　a　mother　and　her
child　is　not　broken　by　death。　　Was　it　unlikely；　then；
that　Juan　should　have　been　conscious　of；　and　touched　by；　the
mental　agony　which　his　untimely　death　had　caused　a　mother　so
beloved？

And　oh！　how　different　was　the　return　to　the　ground　west　of　the
Buffalo　Bayou。　　The　very　atmosphere　was　changed。　　A　day　or　two
of　spring　had　brought　out　the　flowers　and　unfolded　every　green
thing。　　Doctor　Worth　took　his　family　to　a　fine　Mexican
marquee；　and　among　other　comforts　the　Senora　found　there　the
chocolate　she　had　so　long　craved；　and　some　cigaritos　of　mos