man and superman-第25部分

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THE　STATUE。　What　harm　is　he　doing　you；　Juan？　It　seems　to　me　that
he　was　talking　excellent　sense　when　you　interrupted　him。

THE　DEVIL。　＇warmly　shaking　the　statue's　hand＇　Thank　you；　my
friend：　thank　you。　You　have　always　understood　me：　he　has　always
disparaged　and　avoided　me。

DON　JUAN。　I　have　treated　you　with　perfect　courtesy。

THE　DEVIL。　Courtesy！　What　is　courtesy？　I　care　nothing　for　mere
courtesy。　Give　me　warmth　of　heart；　true　sincerity；　the　bond　of
sympathy　with　love　and　joy

DON　JUAN。　You　are　making　me　ill。

THE　DEVIL。　There！　＇Appealing　to　the　statue＇　You　hear；　sir！　Oh；　by
what　irony　of　fate　was　this　cold　selfish　egotist　sent　to　my
kingdom；　and　you　taken　to　the　icy　mansions　of　the　sky！

THE　STATUE。　I　can't　complain。　I　was　a　hypocrite；　and　it　served　me
right　to　be　sent　to　heaven。

THE　DEVIL。　Why；　sir；　do　you　not　join　us；　and　leave　a　sphere　for
which　your　temperament　is　too　sympathetic；　your　heart　too　warm；
your　capacity　for　enjoyment　too　generous？

THE　STATUE。　I　have　this　day　resolved　to　do　so。　In　future；
excellent　Son　of　the　Morning；　I　am　yours。　I　have　left　Heaven　for
ever。

THE　DEVIL。　＇again　grasping　his　hand＇　Ah；　what　an　honor　for　me！
What　a　triumph　for　our　cause！　Thank　you；　thank　you。　And　now；　my
friendI　may　call　you　so　at　lastcould　you　not　persuade　HIM
to　take　the　place　you　have　left　vacant　above？

THE　STATUE。　＇shaking　his　head＇　I　cannot　conscientiously　recommend
anybody　with　whom　I　am　on　friendly　terms　to　deliberately　make
himself　dull　and　uncomfortable。

THE　DEVIL。　Of　course　not；　but　are　you　sure　HE　would　be
uncomfortable？　Of　course　you　know　best：　you　brought　him　here
originally；　and　we　had　the　greatest　hopes　of　him。　His　sentiments
were　in　the　best　taste　of　our　best　people。　You　remember　how　he
sang？　＇He　begins　to　sing　in　a　nasal　operatic　baritone；　tremulous
from　an　eternity　of　misuse　in　the　French　manner＇。

　　　　　　Vivan　le　femmine！
　　　　　　Viva　il　buon　vino！

THE　STATUE。　＇taking　up　the　tune　an　octave　higher　in　his　counter
tenor＇

　　　　　　Sostegno　a　gloria
　　　　　　D'umanita。

THE　DEVIL。　Precisely。　Well；　he　never　sings　for　us　now。

DON　JUAN。　Do　you　complain　of　that？　Hell　is　full　of　musical
amateurs：　music　is　the　brandy　of　the　damned。　May　not　one　lost
soul　be　permitted　to　abstain？

THE　DEVIL。　You　dare　blaspheme　against　the　sublimest　of　the　arts！

DON　JUAN。　＇with　cold　disgust＇　You　talk　like　a　hysterical　woman
fawning　on　a　fiddler。

THE　DEVIL。　I　am　not　angry。　I　merely　pity　you。　You　have　no　soul；
and　you　are　unconscious　of　all　that　you　lose。　Now　you；　Senor
Commander；　are　a　born　musician。　How　well　you　sing！　Mozart　would
be　delighted　if　he　were　still　here；　but　he　moped　and　went　to
heaven。　Curious　how　these　clever　men；　whom　you　would　have
supposed　born　to　be　popular　here；　have　turned　out　social
failures；　like　Don　Juan！

DON　JUAN。　I　am　really　very　sorry　to　be　a　social　failure。

THE　DEVIL。　Not　that　we　don't　admire　your　intellect；　you　know。　We
do。　But　I　look　at　the　matter　from　your　own　point　of　view。　You
don't　get　on　with　us。　The　place　doesn't　suit　you。　The　truth　is；
you　haveI　won't　say　no　heart；　for　we　know　that　beneath　all　your
affected　cynicism　you　have　a　warm　one。

DON　JUAN。　＇shrinking＇　Don't；　please　don't。

THE　DEVIL。　＇nettled＇　Well；　you've　no　capacity　for　enjoyment。　Will
that　satisfy　you？

DON　JUAN。　It　is　a　somewhat　less　insufferable　form　of　cant　than
the　other。　But　if　you'll　allow　me；　I'll　take　refuge；　as　usual；　in
solitude。

THE　DEVIL。　Why　not　take　refuge　in　Heaven？　That's　the　proper　place
for　you。　＇To　Ana＇　Come；　Senora！　could　you　not　persuade　him　for
his　own　good　to　try　a　change　of　air？

ANA。　But　can　he　go　to　Heaven　if　he　wants　to？

THE　DEVIL。　What's　to　prevent　him？

ANA。　Can　anybodycan　I　go　to　Heaven　if　I　want　to？

THE　DEVIL。　＇rather　contemptuously＇　Certainly；　if　your　taste　lies
that　way。

ANA。　But　why　doesn't　everybody　go　to　Heaven；　then？

THE　STATUE。　＇chuckling＇　I　can　tell　you　that；　my　dear。　It's
because　heaven　is　the　most　angelically　dull　place　in　all
creation：　that's　why。

THE　DEVIL。　His　excellency　the　Commander　puts　it　with　military
bluntness；　but　the　strain　of　living　in　Heaven　is　intolerable。
There　is　a　notion　that　I　was　turned　out　of　it；　but　as　a　matter　of
fact　nothing　could　have　induced　me　to　stay　there。　I　simply　left
it　and　organized　this　place。

THE　STATUE。　I　don't　wonder　at　it。　Nobody　could　stand　an　eternity
of　heaven。

THE　DEVIL。　Oh；　it　suits　some　people。　Let　us　be　just；　Commander：
it　is　a　question　of　temperament。　I　don't　admire　the　heavenly
temperament：　I　don't　understand　it：　I　don't　know　that　I
particularly　want　to　understand　it；　but　it　takes　all　sorts　to
make　a　universe。　There　is　no　accounting　for　tastes：　there　are
people　who　like　it。　I　think　Don　Juan　would　like　it。

DON　JUAN。　Butpardon　my　franknesscould　you　really　go　back
there　if　you　desired　to；　or　are　the　grapes　sour？

THE　DEVIL。　Back　there！　I　often　go　back　there。　Have　you　never　read
the　book　of　Job？　Have　you　any　canonical　authority　for　assuming
that　there　is　any　barrier　between　our　circle　and　the　other　one？

ANA。　But　surely　there　is　a　great　gulf　fixed。

THE　DEVIL。　Dear　lady：　a　parable　must　not　be　taken　literally。　The
gulf　is　the　difference　between　the　angelic　and　the　diabolic
temperament。　What　more　impassable　gulf　could　you　have？　Think　of
what　you　have　seen　on　earth。　There　is　no　physical　gulf　between
the　philosopher's　class　room　and　the　bull　ring；　but　the　bull
fighters　do　not　come　to　the　class　room　for　all　that。　Have　you
ever　been　in　the　country　where　I　have　the　largest　following
England？　There　they　have　great　racecourses；　and　also　concert
rooms　where　they　play　the　classical　compositions　of　his
Excellency's　friend　Mozart。　Those　who　go　to　the　racecourses　can
stay　away　from　them　and　go　to　the　classical　concerts　instead　if
they　like：　there　is　no　law　against　it；　for　Englishmen　never　will
be　slaves：　they　are　free　to　do　whatever　the　Government　and　public
opinion　allows　them　to　do。　And　the　classical　concert　is　admitted
to　be　a　higher；　more　cultivated；　poetic；　intellectual；　ennobling
place　than　the　racecourse。　But　do　the　lovers　of　racing　desert
their　sport　and　flock　to　the　concert　room？　Not　they。　They　would
suffer　there　all　the　weariness　the　Commander　has　suffered　in
heaven。　There　is　the　great　gulf　of　the　parable　between　the　two
places。　A　mere　physical　gulf　they　could　bridge；　or　at　least　I
could　bridge　it　for　them　（the　earth　is　full　of　Devil's　Bridges）；
but　the　gulf　of　dislike　is　impassable　and　eternal。　And　that　is
the　only　gulf　that　separates　my　friends　here　from　those　who　are
invidiously　called　the　blest。

ANA。　I　shall　go　to　heaven　at　once。

THE　STATUE。　My　child；　one　word　of　warning　first。　Let　me　complete
my　friend　Lucifer's　similitude　of　the　classical　concert。　At　every
one　of　those　concerts　in　England　you　will　find　rows　of　weary
people　who　are　there；　not　because　they　really　like　classical
music；　but　because　they　think　they　ought　to　like　it。　Well；　there
is　the　same　thing　in　heaven。　A　number　of　people　sit　there　in
glory；　not　because　they　are　happy；　but　because　they　think　they
owe　it　to　their　position　to　be　in　heaven。　They　are　almost　all
English。

THE　DEVIL。　Yes：　the　Southerners　give　it　up　and　join　me　just　as
you　have　done。　But　the　English　really　do　not　seem　to　know　when
they　are　thoroughly　miserable。　An　Englishman　thinks　he　is　moral
when　he　is　only　uncomfortable。

THE　STATUE。　In　short；　my　daughter；　if　you　go　to　Heaven　without
being　naturally　qualified　for　it；　you　will　not　enjoy　yourself
there。

ANA。　And　who　dares　say　that　I　am　not　naturally　qualified　for　it？
The　most　distinguished　princes　of　the　Church　have　never
questioned　it。　I　owe　it　to　myself　to　leave　this　place　at　once。

THE　DEVIL。　＇offended＇　As　you　please；　Senora。　I　should　have
expected　better　taste　from　you。

ANA。　Father：　I　shall　expect　you　to　come　with　me。　You　cannot　stay
here。　What　will　people　say？

THE　STATUE。　People！　Why；　the　best　people　are　hereprinces　of　the
church　and　all。　So　few　go　to　Heaven；　and　so　many　come　here；　that
the　blest；　once　called　a　heavenly　host；　are　a　continually
dwindling　minority。　The　saints；　the　fathers；　the　elect　of　long
ago　are　the　cranks；　the　faddists；　the　outsiders　of　to…day。

THE　DEVIL。　It　is　true。　From　the　beginning　of　my　career　I　knew
that　I　should　win　in　the　long　run　by　sheer　weight　of　public
opinion；　in　spite　of　the　long　campaign　of　misrepresentation　and
calumny　against　me。　At　bottom　the　universe　is　a　constitutional
one；　and　with　such　a　majority　as　mine　I　cannot　be　kept
permanently　out　of　office。

DON　JUAN。　I　think；　Ana；　you　had　better　stay　here。

ANA。　＇jealously＇　You　do　not　want　me　to　go　with　you。

DON　JUAN。　Surely　you　do　not　want　to　enter　Heaven　in　the　company
of　a　reprobate　like　me。

ANA。　All　souls　are　equally　precious。　You　repent；　do　you　not？

DON　JUAN。　My　dear　Ana；　you　are　silly。　Do　you　suppose　heaven　is
like　earth；　where　people　persuade　themselves　that　what　is　done
can　be　undone　by　repentance；　that　what　is　spoken　can　be　unspoken
by　withdrawing　it；　that　what　is　true　can　be　annihilated　by　a
general　agreement　to　give　it　the　lie？　No：　heaven　is　the　home　of
the　masters　of　reality：　that　is　why　I　am　going　thither。

ANA。　Thank　you：　I　am　going　to　heaven　for　happiness。　I　have　had
quite　enough　of　reality　on　earth。

DON　JUAN。　Then　you　must　stay　here；　for　hell　is　the　home　of　the
unreal　and　of　the　seekers　for　happiness。　It　is　the　only　refuge
from　heaven；　which　is；　as　I　tell　you；　the　home　of　the　masters　of
reality；　and　from　earth；　which　is　the　home　of　the　slaves　of
reality。　The　earth　is　a　nursery　in　which　men　and　women　play　at
being　heros　and　heroines；　saints　and　sinners；　but　they　are
dragged　down　from　their　fool's　paradise　by　their　bodies：　hunger
and　cold　and　thirst；　age　and　decay　and　disease；　death　above　all；
make　them　slaves　of　reality：　thrice　a　day　meals　must　be　eaten
and　digested：　thrice　a　century　a　new　generation　must　be
engendered：　ages　of　faith；　of　romance；　and　of　science　are　all
driven　at　last　to　have　but　one　prayer　〃　Make　me　a　healthy
animal。〃　But　here　you　escape　the　tyranny　of　the　flesh；　for　here
you　are　not　an　animal　at　all：　you　are　a　ghost；　an　appearance；　an
illusion；　a　convention；　deathless；　ageless：　in　a　word；　bodiless。
There　are　no　social　questions　h