the glimpses of the moon-第18部分

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Nick　made　no　farther　effort　to　bridge　the　gulf　of　his　own

preoccupations；　and　Mr。　Buttles；　after　an　expectant　pause；　went

on：　　〃If　you　see　me　here　to…day　it　is　only　because；　after　a

somewhat　abrupt　departure；　I　find　myself　unable　to　take　leave　of

our　friends　without　a　last　look　at　the　Ibisthe　scene　of　so

many　stimulating　hours。　　But　I　must　beg　you；〃　he　added

earnestly；　〃should　you　see　Miss　Hicksor　any　other　member　of

the　partyto　make　no　allusion　to　my　presence　in　Genoa。　　I

wish；〃　said　Mr。　Buttles　with　simplicity；　〃to　preserve　the

strictest　incognito。〃



Lansing　glanced　at　him　kindly。　　〃Oh；　butisn't　that　a　little

unfriendly？〃



〃No　other　course　is　possible；　Mr。　Lansing；〃　said　the　ex…

secretary；　〃and　I　commit　myself　to　your　discretion。　　The　truth

is；　if　I　am　here　it　is　not　to　look　once　more　at　the　Ibis；　but　at

Miss　Hicks：　　once　only。　　You　will　understand　me；　and　appreciate

what　I　am　suffering。〃



He　bowed　again；　and　trotted　away　on　his　small；　tightly…booted

feet；　pausing　on　the　threshold　to　say：　　〃From　the　first　it　was

hopeless；〃　before　he　disappeared　through　the　glass　doors。



A　gleam　of　commiseration　flashed　through　Nick's　mind：　　there　was

something　quaintly　poignant　in　the　sight　of　the　brisk　and

efficient　Mr。　Buttles　reduced　to　a　limp　image　of　unrequited

passion。　　And　what　a　painful　surprise　to　the　Hickses　to　be　thus

suddenly　deprived　of　the　secretary　who　possessed　〃the　foreign

languages〃！　　Mr。　Beck　kept　the　accounts　and　settled　with　the

hotel…keepers；　but　it　was　Mr。　Buttles's　loftier　task　to

entertain　in　their　own　tongues　the　unknown　geniuses　who　flocked

about　the　Hickses；　and　Nick　could　imagine　how　disconcerting　his

departure　must　be　on　the　eve　of　their　Grecian　cruise　which　Mrs。

Hicks　would　certainly　call　an　Odyssey。



The　next　moment　the　vision　of　Coral's　hopeless　suitor　had　faded；

and　Nick　was　once　more　spinning　around　on　the　wheel　of　his　own

woes。　　The　night　before；　when　he　had　sent　his　note　to　Susy；　from

a　little　restaurant　close　to　Palazzo　Vanderlyn　that　they　often

patronized；　he　had　done　so　with　the　firm　intention　of　going　away

for　a　day　or　two　in　order　to　collect　his　wits　and　think　over　the

situation。　　But　after　his　letter　had　been　entrusted　to　the

landlord's　little　son；　who　was　a　particular　friend　of　Susy's；

Nick　had　decided　to　await　the　lad's　return。　　The　messenger　had

not　been　bidden　to　ask　for　an　answer；　but　Nick；　knowing　the

friendly　and　inquisitive　Italian　mind；　was　almost　sure　that　the

boy；　in　the　hope　of　catching　a　glimpse　of　Susy；　would　linger

about　while　the　letter　was　carried　up。　　And　he　pictured　the　maid

knocking　at　his　wife's　darkened　room；　and　Susy　dashing　some

powder　on　her　tear…stained　face　before　she　turned　on　the　light

poor　foolish　child！



The　boy　had　returned　rather　sooner　than　Nick　expected；　and　he

had　brought　no　answer；　but　　merely　the　statement　that　the

signora　was　out：　　that　everybody　was　out。



〃Everybody？〃



〃The　signora　and　the　four　gentlemen　who　were　dining　at　the

palace。　　They　all　went　out　together　on　foot　soon　after　dinner。

There　was　no　one　to　whom　I　could　give　the　note　but　the　gondolier

on　the　landing；　for　the　signora　had　said　she　would　be　very　late；

and　had　sent　the　maid　to　bed；　and　the　maid　had；　of　course；　gone

out　immediately　with　her　innamorato。〃



〃Ah〃　said　Nick；　slipping　his　reward　into　the　boy's　hand；　and

walking　out　of　the　restaurant。



Susy　had　gone　outgone　out　with　their　usual　band；　as　she　did

every　night　in　these　sultry　summer　weeks；　gone　out　after　her

talk　with　Nick；　as　if　nothing　had　happened；　as　if　his　whole

world　and　hers　had　not　crashed　in　ruins　at　their　feet。　　Ah；　poor

Susy！　　After　all；　she　had　merely　obeyed　the　instinct　of　self

preservation；　the　old　hard　habit　of　keeping　up；　going　ahead　and

hiding　her　troubles；　unless　indeed　the　habit　had　already

engendered　indifference；　and　it　had　become　as　easy　for　her　as

for　most　of　her　friends　to　pass　from　drama　to　dancing；　from

sorrow　to　the　cinema。　　What　of　soul　was　left；　he　wondered？



His　train　did　not　start　till　midnight；　and　after　leaving　the

restaurant　Nick　tramped　the　sultry　by…ways　till　his　tired　legs

brought　him　to　a　standstill　under　the　vine…covered　pergola　of　a

gondolier's　wine…shop　at　a　landing　close　to　the　Piazzetta。

There　he　could　absorb　cooling　drinks　until　it　was　time　to　go　to

the　station。



It　was　after　eleven；　and　he　was　beginning　to　look　about　for　a

boat；　when　a　black　prow　pushed　up　to　the　steps；　and　with　much

chaff　and　laughter　a　party　of　young　people　in　evening　dress

jumped　out。　　Nick；　from　under　the　darkness　of　the　vine；　saw　that

there　was　only　one　lady　among　them；　and　it　did　not　need　the　lamp

above　the　landing　to　reveal　her　identity。　　Susy；　bareheaded　and

laughing；　a　light　scarf　slipping　from　her　bare　shoulders；　a

cigarette　between　her　fingers；　took　Strefford's　arm　and　turned

in　the　direction　of　Florian's；　with　Gillow；　the　Prince　and　young

Breckenridge　in　her　wake　。。。。



Nick　had　relived　this　rapid　scene　hundreds　of　times　during　his

hours　in　the　train　and　his　aimless　trampings　through　the　streets

of　Genoa。　　In　that　squirrel…wheel　of　a　world　of　his　and　Susy's

you　had　to　keep　going　or　drop　outand　Susy；　it　was　evident；　had

chosen　to　keep　going。　　Under　the　lamp…flare　on　the　landing　he

had　had　a　good　look　at　her　face；　and　had　seen　that　the　mask　of

paint　and　powder　was　carefully　enough　adjusted　to　hide　any

ravages　the　scene　between　them　might　have　left。　　He　even　fancied

that　she　had　dropped　a　little　atropine　into　her　eyes　。。。。



There　was　no　time　to　spare　if　he　meant　to　catch　the　midnight

train；　and　no　gondola　in　sight　but　that　which　his　wife　had　just

left。　　He　sprang　into　it；　and　bade　the　gondolier　carry　him　to

the　station。　　The　cushions；　as　he　leaned　back；　gave　out　a　breath

of　her　scent；　and　in　the　glare　of　electric　light　at　the　station

he　saw　at　his　feet　a　rose　which　had　fallen　from　her　dress。　　He

ground　his　heel　into　it　as　he　got　out。



There　it　was；　then；　that　was　the　last　picture　he　was　to　have　of

her。　　For　he　knew　now　that　he　was　not　going　back；　at　least　not

to　take　up　their　life　together。　　He　supposed　he　should　have　to

see　her　once；　to　talk　things　over；　settle　something　for　their

future。　　He　had　been　sincere　in　saying　that　he　bore　her　no　ill…

will；　only　he　could　never　go　back　into　that　slough　again。　　If　he

did；　he　knew　he　would　inevitably　be　drawn　under；　slipping

downward　from　concession　to　concession　。。。。



The　noises　of　a　hot　summer　night　in　the　port　of　Genoa　would　have

kept　the　most　care…free　from　slumber；　but　though　Nick　lay　awake

he　did　not　notice　them；　for　the　tumult　in　his　brain　was　more

deafening。　　Dawn　brought　a　negative　relief；　and　out　of　sheer

weariness　he　dropped　into　a　heavy　sleep。　　When　he　woke　it　was

nearly　noon；　and　from　his　window　he　saw　the　well…known　outline

of　the　Ibis　standing　up　dark　against　the　glitter　of　the　harbour。

He　had　no　fear　of　meeting　her　owners；　who　had　doubtless　long

since　landed　and　betaken　themselves　to　cooler　and　more

fashionable　regions：　　oddly　enough；　the　fact　seemed　to

accentuate　his　loneliness；　his　sense　of　having　no　one　on　earth

to　turn　to。　　He　dressed；　and　wandered　out　disconsolately　to　pick

up　a　cup　of　coffee　in　some　shady　corner。



As　he　drank　his　coffee　his　thoughts　gradually　cleared。　　It

became　obvious　to　him　that　he　had　behaved　like　a　madman　or　a

petulant　childhe　preferred　to　think　it　was　like　a　madman。　　If

he　and　Susy　were　to　separate　there　was　no　reason　why　it　should

not　be　done　decently　and　quietly；　as　such　transactions　were

habitually　managed　among　people　of　their　kind。　　It　seemed

grotesque　to　introduce　melodrama　into　their　little　world　of

unruffled　Sybarites；　and　he　felt　inclined；　now；　to　smile　at　the

incongruity　of　his　gesture　。。。。　　But　suddenly　his　eyes　filled

with　tears。　　The　future　without　Susy　was　unbearable；

inconceivable。　　Why；　after　all；　should　they　separate？　　At　the

question；　her　soft　face　seemed　close　to　his；　and　that　slight

lift　of　the　upper　lip　that　made　her　smile　so　exquisite。　　Well…

he　would　go　back。　　But　not　with　any　presence　of　going　to　talk

things　over；　come　to　an　agreement；　wind　up　their　joint　life　like

a　business　association。　　Noif　he　went　back　he　would　go　without

conditions；　for　good；　forever　。。。。



Only；　what　about　the　future？　　What　about　the　not　far…distant　day

when　the　wedding　cheques　would　have　been　spent；　and　Granny's

pearls　sold；　and　nothing　left　except　unconcealed　and

unconditional　dependence　on　rich　friends；　the　role　of　the

acknowledged　hangers…on？　　Was　there　no　other　possible　solution；

no　new　way　of　ordering　their　lives？　　Nothere　was　none：　　he

could　not　picture　Susy　out　of　her　setting　of　luxury　and　leisure；

could　not　picture　either　of　them　living　such　a　life　as　the　Nat

Fulmers；　for　instance！　　He　remembered　the　shabby　untidy　bungalow

in　New　Hampshire；　the　slatternly　servants；　uneatable　food　and

ubiquitous　children。　　How　could　he　ask　Susy　to　share　such　a　life

with　him？　　If　he　did；　she　would　probably　have　the　sense　to

refuse。　　Their　alliance　had　been　based　on　a　moment's　midsummer

madness；　now　the　score　must　be　paid　。。。。



He　decided　to　write。　　If　they　were　to　part　he　could　not　trust

himself　to　see　her。　　He　called　a　waiter；　asked　for　pen　and

paper；　and　pushed　aside　a　pile　of　unread　newspapers　on　the

corner　of　the　table　where　his　coffee　had　been　served。　　As　he　did

so；　his　eye　lit　on　a　Daily　Mail　of　two　days　before。　　As　a

pretext　for　postponing　his　letter；　he　took　up　the　paper　and

glanced　down　the　first　page。　　He　read：



〃Tragic　Yachting　Accident　in　the　Solent。　　The　Earl　of　Altringham

and　his　son　Viscount　d'Amblay　drowned　in　midnight　collision。

Both　bodies　recovered。〃



He　read　on。　　He　grasped　the　fact　that　the　disaster　had　happened

the　night　before　he　had　left　Venice　and　that；　as　the　result　of　a

fog　in　the　Solent；　their　old　friend　Strefford　was　now　Earl　of

Altringham；　and　possessor　of　one　of　the　largest　private　for