the glimpses of the moon-第26部分

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the　book　altogether；　and　try　to　look　out　for　a　job　that　will

pay。　　To　indulge　in　my　kind　of　literature　one　must　first　have　an

assured　income。〃



He　was　instantly　annoyed　with　himself　for　having　spoken。

Hitherto　in　his　relations　with　the　Hickses　he　had　carefully

avoided　the　least　allusion　that　might　make　him　feel　the　heavy

hand　of　their　beneficence。　　But　the　idle　procrastinating　weeks

had　weakened　him　and　he　had　yielded　to　the　need　of　putting　into

words　his　vague　intentions。　　To　do　so　would　perhaps　help　to　make

them　more　definite。



To　his　relief　Miss　Hicks　made　no　immediate　reply；　and　when　she

spoke　it　was　in　a　softer　voice　and　with　an　unwonted　hesitation。



〃It　seems　a　shame　that　with　gifts　like　yours　you　shouldn't　find

some　kind　of　employment　that　would　leave　you　leisure　enough　to

do　your　real　work　。。。。〃



He　shrugged　ironically。　　〃Yesthere　are　a　goodish　number　of　us

hunting　for　that　particular　kind　of　employment。〃



Her　tone　became　more　business…like。　　〃I　know　it's　hard　to

findalmost　impossible。　　But　would　you　take　it；　I　wonder；　if　it

were　offered　to　you？〃



She　turned　her　head　slightly；　and　their　eyes　met。　　For　an

instant　blank　terror　loomed　upon　him；　but　before　he　had　time　to

face　it　she　continued；　in　the　same　untroubled　voice：　　〃Mr。

Buttles's　place；　I　mean。　　My　parents　must　absolutely　have　some

one　they　can　count　on。　　You　know　what　an　easy　place　it　is　。。。。

I　think　you　would　find　the　salary　satisfactory。〃



Nick　drew　a　deep　breath　of　relief。　　For　a　moment　her　eyes　had

looked　as　they　had　in　the　Scalziand　he　liked　the　girl　too　much

not　to　shrink　from　reawakening　that　look。　　But　Mr。　Buttles's

place：　　why　not？



〃Poor　Buttles！〃　he　murmured；　to　gain　time。



〃Oh；〃　she　said；　〃you　won't　find　the　same　reasons　as　he　did　for

throwing　up　the　job。　　He　was　the　martyr　of　his　artistic

convictions。〃



He　glanced　at　her　sideways；　wondering。　　After　all　she　did　not

know　of　his　meeting　with　Mr。　Buttles　in　Genoa；　nor　of　the

latter's　confidences；　perhaps　she　did　not　even　know　of　Mr。

Buttles's　hopeless　passion。　　At　any　rate　her　face　remained　calm。



〃Why　not　consider　itat　least　just　for　a　few　months？　　Till

after　our　expedition　to　Mesopotamia？〃　she　pressed　on；　a　little

breathlessly。



〃You're　awfully　kind：　　but　I　don't　know〃



She　stood　up　with　one　of　her　abrupt　movements。　　〃You　needn't；

all　at　once。　　Take　time　think　it　over。　　Father　wanted　me　to　ask

you；〃　she　appended。



He　felt　the　inadequacy　of　his　response。　　〃It　tempts　me　awfully；

of　course。　　But　I　must　wait；　at　any　ratewait　for　letters。　　The

fact　is　I　shall　have　to　wire　from　Rhodes　to　have　them　sent。　　I

had　chucked　everything；　even　letters；　for　a　few　weeks。〃



〃Ah；　you　are　tired；〃　she　murmured；　giving　him　a　last　downward

glance　as　she　turned　away。



》From　Rhodes　Nick　Lansing　telegraphed　to　his　Paris　bank　to　send

his　letters　to　Candia；　but　when　the　Ibis　reached　Candia；　and　the

mail　was　brought　on　board；　the　thick　envelope　handed　to　him

contained　no　letter　from　Susy。



Why　should　it；　since　he　had　not　yet　written　to　her？



He　had　not　written；　no：　　but　in　sending　his　address　to　the　bank

he　knew　he　had　given　her　the　opportunity　of　reaching　him　if　she

wished　to。　　And　she　had　made　no　sign。



Late　that　afternoon；　when　they　returned　to　the　yacht　from　their

first　expedition；　a　packet　of　newspapers　lay　on　the　deck…house

table。　　Nick　picked　up　one　of　the　London　journals；　and　his　eye

ran　absently　down　the　list　of　social　events。



He　read：



〃Among　the　visitors　expected　next　week　at　Ruan　Castle　（let　for

the　season　to　Mr。　Frederick　J。　Gillow　of　New　York）　are　Prince

Altineri　of　Rome；　the　Earl　of　Altringham　and　Mrs。　Nicholas

Lansing；　who　arrived　in　London　last　week　from　Paris。　〃Nick　threw

down　the　paper。　　It　was　just　a　month　since　he　had　left　the

Palazzo　Vanderlyn　and　flung　himself　into　the　night　express　for

Milan。　　A　whole　monthand　Susy　had　not　written。　　Only　a　month

and　Susy　and　Strefford　were　already　together！







XVII



SUSY　had　decided　to　wait　for　Strefford　in　London。



The　new　Lord　Altringham　was　with　his　family　in　the　north；　and

though　she　found　a　telegram　on　arriving；　saying　that　he　would

join　her　in　town　the　following　week；　she　had　still　an　interval

of　several　days　to　fill。



London　was　a　desert；　the　rain　fell　without　ceasing；　and　alone　in

the　shabby　family　hotel　which；　even　out　of　season；　was　the　best

she　could　afford；　she　sat　at　last　face　to　face　with　herself。



》From　the　moment　when　Violet　Melrose　had　failed　to　carry　out　her

plan　for　the　Fulmer　children　her　interest　in　Susy　had　visibly

waned。　　Often　before；　in　the　old　days；　Susy　Branch　had　felt　the

same　abrupt　change　of　temperature　in　the　manner　of　the　hostess

of　the　moment；　and　oftenhow　oftenhad　yielded；　and　performed

the　required　service；　rather　than　risk　the　consequences　of

estrangement。　　To　that；　at　least；　thank　heaven；　she　need　never

stoop　again。



But　as　she　hurriedly　packed　her　trunks　at　Versailles；　scraped

together　an　adequate　tip　for　Mrs。　Match；　and　bade　good…bye　to

Violet　（grown　suddenly　fond　and　demonstrative　as　she　saw　her

visitor　safely　headed　for　the　station）as　Susy　went　through　the

old　familiar　mummery　of　the　enforced　leave…taking；　there　rose　in

her　so　deep　a　disgust　for　the　life　of　makeshifts　and

accommodations；　that　if　at　that　moment　Nick　had　reappeared　and

held　out　his　arms　to　her；　she　was　not　sure　she　would　have　had

the　courage　to　return　to　them。



In　her　London　solitude　the　thirst　for　independence　grew　fiercer。

Independence　with　ease；　of　course。　　Oh；　her　hateful　useless　love

of　beauty　。。。　the　curse　it　had　always　been　to　her；　the　blessing

it　might　have　been　if　only　she　had　had　the　material　means　to

gratify　and　to　express　it！　　And　instead；　it　only　gave　her　a

morbid　loathing　of　that　hideous　hotel　bedroom　drowned　in　yellow

rain…light；　of　the　smell　of　soot　and　cabbage　through　the　window；

the　blistered　wall…paper；　the　dusty　wax　bouquets　under　glass

globes；　and　the　electric　lighting　so　contrived　that　as　you

turned　on　the　feeble　globe　hanging　from　the　middle　of　the

ceiling　the　feebler　one　beside　the　bed　went　out！



What　a　sham　world　she　and　Nick　had　lived　in　during　their　few

months　together！　　What　right　had　either　of　them　to　those

exquisite　settings　of　the　life　of　leisure：　　the　long　white　house

hidden　in　camellias　and　cypresses　above　the　lake；　or　the　great

rooms　on　the　Giudecca　with　the　shimmer　of　the　canal　always

playing　over　their　frescoed　ceilings！　　Yet　she　had　come　to

imagine　that　these　places　really　belonged　to　them；　that　they

would　always　go　on　living；　fondly　and　irreproachably；　in　the

frame　of　other　people's　wealth　。。。。　　That；　again；　was　the　curse

of　her　love　of　beauty；　the　way　she　always　took　to　it　as　if　it

belonged　to　her！



Well；　the　awakening　was　bound　to　come；　and　it　was　perhaps　better

that　it　should　have　come　so　soon。　　At　any　rate　there　was　no　use

in　letting　her　thoughts　wander　back　to　that　shattered　fool's

paradise　of　theirs。　　Only；　as　she　sat　there　and　reckoned　up　the

days　till　Strefford　arrived；　what　else　in　the　world　was　there　to

think　of？



Her　future　and　his？



But　she　knew　that　future　by　heart　already！　　She　had　not　spent

her　life　among　the　rich　and　fashionable　without　having　learned

every　detail　of　the　trappings　of　a　rich　and　fashionable

marriage。　　She　had　calculated　long　ago　just　how　many　dinner…

dresses；　how　many　tea…gowns　and　how　much　lacy　lingerie　would　go

to　make　up　the　outfit　of　the　future　Countess　of　Altringham。　　She

had　even　decided　to　which　dressmaker　she　would　go　for　her

chinchilla　cloak…for　she　meant　to　have　one；　and　down　to　her

feet；　and　softer　and　more　voluminous　and　more　extravagantly

sumptuous　than　Violet's　or　Ursula's　。。。　not　to　speak　of　silver

foxes　and　sables　。。。　nor　yet　of　the　Altringham　jewels。



She　knew　all　this　by　heart；　had　always　known　it。　　It　all

belonged　to　the　make…up　of　the　life　of　elegance：　　there　was

nothing　new　about　it。　　What　had　been　new　to　her　was　just　that

short　interval　with　Nicka　life　unreal　indeed　in　its　setting；

but　so　real　in　its　essentials：　　the　one　reality　she　had　ever

known。　　As　she　looked　back　on　it　she　saw　how　much　it　had　given

her　besides　the　golden　flush　of　her　happiness；　the　sudden

flowering　of　sensuous　joy　in　heart　and　body。　　Yesthere　had

been　the　flowering　too；　in　pain　like　birth…pangs；　of　something

graver；　stronger；　fuller　of　future　power；　something　she　had

hardly　heeded　in　her　first　light　rapture；　but　that　always　came

back　and　possessed　her　stilled　soul　when　the　rapture　sank：　　the

deep　disquieting　sense　of　something　that　Nick　and　love　had

taught　her；　but　that　reached　out　even　beyond　love　and　beyond

Nick。



Her　nerves　were　racked　by　the　ceaseless　swish；　swish　of　the　rain

on　the　dirty　panes　and　the　smell　of　cabbage　and　coal　that　came

in　under　the　door　when　she　shut　the　window。　　This　nauseating

foretaste　of　the　luncheon　she　must　presently　go　down　to　was　more

than　she　could　bear。　　It　brought　with　it　a　vision　of　the　dank

coffee…room　below；　the　sooty　Smyrna　rug；　the　rain　on　the　sky…

light；　the　listless　waitresses　handing　about　food　that　tasted　as

if　it　had　been　rained　on　too。　　There　was　really　no　reason　why

she　should　let　such　material　miseries　add　to　her　depression　。。。。



She　sprang　up；　put　on　her　hat　and　jacket；　and　calling　for　a　taxi

drove　to　the　London　branch　of　the　Nouveau　Luxe　hotel。　　It　was

just　one　o'clock　and　she　was　sure　to　pick　up　a　luncheon；　for

though　London　was　empty　that　great　establishment　was　not。　　It

never　was。　　Along　those　sultry　velvet…carpeted　halls；　in　that

great　flowered　and　scented　dining…room；　there　was　always　a　come…

and…go　of　rich　aimless　people；　the　busy　people　who；　having

nothing　to　do；　perpetually　pursue　their　inexorable　task　from　one

end　of　the　earth　to　the　other。



Oh；　the　monotony　of　those　facesthe　faces　one　always　knew；

whether　one　knew　the　people　they　belonged　to　or