the glimpses of the moon-第3部分

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age　of　poorly…paid　hack…work；　mitigated　by　brief　and　frugal

holidays。　　He　knew　that　he　was　more　intelligent　than　the

average；　but　he　had　long　since　concluded　that　his　talents　were

not　marketable。　　Of　the　thin　volume　of　sonnets　which　a　friendly

publisher　had　launched　for　him；　just　seventy　copies　had　been

sold；　and　though　his　essay　on　〃Chinese　Influences　in　Greek　Art〃

had　created　a　passing　stir；　it　had　resulted　in　controversial

correspondence　and　dinner　invitations　rather　than　in　more

substantial　benefits。　　There　seemed；　in　short；　no　prospect　of

his　ever　earning　money；　and　his　restricted　future　made　him

attach　an　increasing　value　to　the　kind　of　friendship　that　Susy

Branch　had　given　him。　　Apart　from　the　pleasure　of　looking　at　her

and　listening　to　herof　enjoying　in　her　what　others　less

discriminatingly　but　as　liberally　appreciatedhe　had　the　sense；

between　himself　and　her；　of　a　kind　of　free…masonry　of　precocious

tolerance　and　irony。　　They　had　both；　in　early　youth；　taken　the

measure　of　the　world　they　happened　to　live　in：　　they　knew　just

what　it　was　worth　to　them　and　for　what　reasons；　and　the

community　of　these　reasons　lent　to　their　intimacy　its　last

exquisite　touch。　　And　now；　because　of　some　jealous　whim　of　a

dissatisfied　fool　of　a　woman；　as　to　whom　he　felt　himself　no　more

to　blame　than　any　young　man　who　has　paid　for　good　dinners　by

good　manners；　he　was　to　be　deprived　of　the　one　complete

companionship　he　had　ever　known　。。。。



His　thoughts　travelled　on。　　He　recalled　the　long　dull　spring　in

New　York　after　his　break　with　Susy；　the　weary　grind　on　his　last

articles；　his　listless　speculations　as　to　the　cheapest　and　least

boring　way　of　disposing　of　the　summer；　and　then　the　amazing　luck

of　going；　reluctantly　and　at　the　last　minute；　to　spend　a　Sunday

with　the　poor　Nat　Fulmers；　in　the　wilds　of　New　Hampshire；　and　of

finding　Susy　thereSusy；　whom　he　had　never　even　suspected　of

knowing　anybody　in　the　Fulmers'　set！



She　had　behaved　perfectlyand　so　had　hebut　they　were

obviously　much　too　glad　to　see　each　other。　　And　then　it　was

unsettling　to　be　with　her　in　such　a　house　as　the　Fulmers'；　away

from　the　large　setting　of　luxury　they　were　both　used　to；　in　the

cramped　cottage　where　their　host　had　his　studio　in　the　verandah；

their　hostess　practiced　her　violin　in　the　dining…room；　and　five

ubiquitous　children　sprawled　and　shouted　and　blew　trumpets　and

put　tadpoles　in　the　water…jugs；　and　the　mid…day　dinner　was　two

hours　late…and　proportionately　badbecause　the　Italian　cook

was　posing　for　Fulmer。



Lansing's　first　thought　had　been　that　meeting　Susy　in　such

circumstances　would　be　the　quickest　way　to　cure　them　both　of

their　regrets。　　The　case　of　the　Fulmers　was　an　awful　object…

lesson　in　what　happened　to　young　people　who　lost　their　heads；

poor　Nat；　whose　pictures　nobody　bought；　had　gone　to　seed　so

terribly…and　Grace；　at　twenty…nine；　would　never　again　be

anything　but　the　woman　of　whom　people　say；　〃I　can　remember　her

when　she　was　lovely。〃



But　the　devil　of　it　was　that　Nat　had　never　been　such　good

company；　or　Grace　so　free　from　care　and　so　full　of　music；　and

that；　in　spite　of　their　disorder　and　dishevelment；　and　the　bad

food　and　general　crazy　discomfort；　there　was　more　amusement　to

be　got　out　of　their　society　than　out　of　the　most　opulently

staged　house…party　through　which　Susy　and　Lansing　had　ever

yawned　their　way。



It　was　almost　a　relief　to　tile　young　man　when；　on　the　second

afternoon；　Miss　Branch　drew　him　into　the　narrow　hall　to　say：　　〃I

really　can't　stand　the　combination　of　Grace's　violin　and　little

Nat's　motor…horn　any　longer。　　Do　let　us　slip　out　till　the　duet

is　over。〃



〃How　do　they　stand　it；　I　wonder？〃　　he　basely　echoed；　as　he

followed　her　up　the　wooded　path　behind　the　house。



〃It　might　be　worth　finding　out；〃　she　rejoined　with　a　musing

smile。



But　he　remained　resolutely　skeptical。　　〃Oh；　give　them　a　year　or

two　more　and　they'll　collapse！　　His　pictures　will　never　sell；

you　know。　　He'll　never　even　get　them　into　a　show。〃



〃I　suppose　not。　And　she'll　never　have　time　to　do　anything　worth

while　with　her　music。〃



They　had　reached　a　piny　knoll　high　above　the　ledge　on　which　the

house　was　perched。　　All　about　them　stretched　an　empty　landscape

of　endless　featureless　wooded　hills。　　〃Think　of　sticking　here

all　the　year　round！〃　　Lansing　groaned。



〃I　know。　　But　then　think　of　wandering　over　the　world　with　some

people！〃



〃Oh；　Lord；　yes。　　For　instance；　my　trip　to　India　with　the

Mortimer　Hickses。　　But　it　was　my　only　chance　and　what　the　deuce

is　one　to　do？〃



〃I　wish　I　knew！〃　　she　sighed；　thinking　of　the　Bockheimers；　and

he　turned　and　looked　at　her。



〃Knew　what？〃



〃The　answer　to　your　question。　　What　is　one　to　dowhen　one　sees

both　sides　of　the　problem？　　Or　every　possible　side　of　it；

indeed？〃



They　had　seated　themselves　on　a　commanding　rock　under　the　pines；

but　Lansing　could　not　see　the　view　at　their　feet　for　the　stir　of

the　brown　lashes　on　her　cheek。



〃You　mean：　　Nat　and　Grace　may　after　all　be　having　the　best　of

it？〃



〃How　can　I　say；　when　I've　told　you　I　see　all　the　sides？　　Of

course；〃　Susy　added　hastily；　〃　I　couldn't　live　as　they　do　for　a

week。　　But　it's　wonderful　how　little　it's　dimmed　them。〃



〃Certainly　Nat　was　never　more　coruscating。　　And　she　keeps　it　up

even　better。〃　He　reflected。　〃We　do　them　good；　I　daresay。〃



〃Yesor　they　us。　I　wonder　which？〃



After　that；　he　seemed　to　remember　that　they　sat　a　long　time

silent；　and　that　his　next　utterance　was　a　boyish　outburst

against　the　tyranny　of　the　existing　order　of　things；　abruptly

followed　by　the　passionate　query　why；　since　he　and　she　couldn't

alter　it；　and　since　they　both　had　the　habit　of　looking　at　facts

as　they　were；　they　wouldn't　be　utter　fools　not　to　take　their

chance　of　being　happy　in　the　only　way　that　was　open　to　them；　To

this　challenge　he　did　not　recall　Susy's　making　any　definite

answer；　but　after　another　interval；　in　which　all　the　world

seemed　framed　in　a　sudden　kiss；　he　heard　her　murmur　to　herself

in　a　brooding　tone：　　〃I　don't　suppose　it's　ever　been　tried

before；　but　we　might。〃　　And　then　and　there　she　had　laid　before

him　the　very　experiment　they　had　since　hazarded。



She　would　have　none　of　surreptitious　bliss；　she　began　by

declaring；　and　she　set　forth　her　reasons　with　her　usual　lucid

impartiality。　　In　the　first　place；　she　should　have　to　marry　some

day；　and　when　she　made　the　bargain　she　meant　it　to　be　an　honest

one；　and　secondly；　in　the　matter　of　love；　she　would　never　give

herself　to　anyone　she　did　not　really　care　for；　and　if　such

happiness　ever　came　to　her　she　did　not　want　it　shorn　of　half　its

brightness　by　the　need　of　fibbing　and　plotting　and　dodging。



〃I've　seen　too　much　of　that　kind　of　thing。　　Half　the　women　I

know　who've　had　lovers　have　had　them　for　the　fun　of　sneaking　and

lying　about　it；　but　the　other　half　have　been　miserable。　And　I

should　be　miserable。〃



It　was　at　this　point　that　she　unfolded　her　plan。　　Why　shouldn't

they　marry；　belong　to　each　other　openly　and　honourably；　if　for

ever　so　short　a　time；　and　with　the　definite　understanding　that

whenever　either　of　them　got　the　chance　to　do　better　he　or　she

should　be　immediately　released？　　The　law　of　their　country

facilitated　such　exchanges；　and　society　was　beginning　to　view

them　as　indulgently　as　the　law。　　As　Susy　talked；　she　warmed　to

her　theme　and　began　to　develop　its　endless　possibilities。



〃We　should　really；　in　a　way；　help　more　than　we　should　hamper

each　other；〃　she　ardently　explained。　　〃We　both　know　the　ropes　so

well；　what　one　of　us　didn't　see　the　other　mightin　the　way　of

opportunities；　I　mean。　　And　then　we　should　be　a　novelty　as

married　people。　　We're　both　rather　unusually　popularwhy　not　be

frank！and　it's　such　a　blessing　for　dinner…givers　to　be　able　to

count　on　a　couple　of　whom　neither　one　is　a　blank。　　Yes；　I　really

believe　we　should　be　more　than　twice　the　success　we　are　now；　at

least；〃　she　added　with　a　smile；　〃if　there's　that　amount　of　room

for　improvement。　　I　don't　know　how　you　feel；　a　man's　popularity

is　so　much　less　precarious　than　a　girl'sbut　I　know　it　would

furbish　me　up　tremendously　to　reappear　as　a　married　woman。〃　　She

glanced　away　from　him　down　the　long　valley　at　their　feet；　and

added　in　a　lower　tone：　〃And　I　should　like；　just　for　a　little

while；　to　feel　I　had　something　in　life　of　my　very　ownsomething

that　nobody　had　lent　me；　like　a　fancy…dress　or　a　motor　or　an

opera　cloak。〃



The　suggestion；　at　first；　had　seemed　to　Lansing　as　mad　as　it　was

enchanting：　　it　had　thoroughly　frightened　him。　　But　Susy's

arguments　were　irrefutable；　her　ingenuities　inexhaustible。　Had

he　ever　thought　it　all　out？　　She　asked。　　No。　　Well；　she　had；　and

would　he　kindly　not　interrupt？　　In　the　first　place；　there　would

be　all　the　wedding…presents。　　Jewels；　and　a　motor；　and　a　silver

dinner　service；　did　she　mean？　　Not　a　bit　of　it！　　She　could　see

he'd　never　given　the　question　proper　thought。　　Cheques；　my　dear；

nothing　but　chequesshe　undertook　to　manage　that　on　her　side：

she　really　thought　she　could　count　on　about　fifty；　and　she

supposed　he　could　rake　up　a　few　more？　　Well；　all　that　would

simply　represent　pocket…money！　　For　they　would　have　plenty　of

houses　to　live　in：　　he'd　see。　　People　were　always　glad　to　lend

their　house　to　a　newly…married　couple。　　It　was　such　fun　to　pop

down　and　see　them：　　it　made　one　feel　romantic　and　jolly。　　All

they　need　do　was　to　accept　the　houses　in　turn：　　go　on　honey…

mooning　for　a　year！　　What　was　he　afraid　of？　　Didn't　he　think

they'd　be　happy　enough　to　want　to　keep　it　up？　　And　why　not　at

least　tryget　engaged；　and　then　see　what　would　happen？　　Even　if

she　was　all　wrong；　and　her　plan　failed；　wouldn't　it　have　been

rather　nice；　just　for　a　month　or　two；　to　fancy　they　were　going

to　be　happy？　　〃I've　often　fancied　it　all　by　myself；〃　she

concluded；　〃but　fancying　it　with　you　would　somehow　be　so　awfully

different　。。。。〃



Tha