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the glimpses of the moon-第34部分

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Ellie herself; prodigally pearled and ermined; had floated in

late with Algie Bockheimer in her wake; and sat; in conspicuous

tete…a…tete; nodding and signalling her sympathy to Susy。

Approval beamed from every eye:  it was awfully exciting; they

all seemed to say; seeing Susy Lansing pull it off!  As the

party; after dinner; drifted from the restaurant back into the

hall; she caught; in the smiles and hand…pressures crowding

about her; the scarcely…repressed hint of official

congratulations; and Violet Melrose; seated in a corner with

Fulmer; drew her down with a wan jade…circled arm; to whisper

tenderly:  〃It's most awfully clever of you; darling; not to be

wearing any jewels。〃



In all the women's eyes she read the reflected lustre of the

jewels she could wear when she chose:  it was as though their

glitter reached her from the far…off bank where they lay sealed

up in the Altringham strong…box。  What a fool she had been to

think that Strefford would ever believe she didn't care for

them!



The Ambassadress; a blank perpendicular person; had been a shade

less affable than Susy could have wished; but then there was

Lady Joanand the girl was handsome; alarmingly handsome to

account for that:  probably every one in the room had guessed

it。  And the old Duchess of Dunes was delightful。  She looked

rather like Strefford in a wig and false pearls (Susy was sure

they were as false as her teeth); and her cordiality was so

demonstrative that the future bride found it more difficult to

account for than Lady Ascot's coldness; till she heard the old

lady; as they passed into the hall; breathe in a hissing whisper

to her nephew:  〃Streff; dearest; when you have a minute's time;

and can drop in at my wretched little pension; I know you can

explain in two words what I ought to do to pacify those awful

money…lenders 。。。。  And you'll bring your exquisite American to

see me; won't you! 。。。  No; Joan Senechal's too fair for my

taste 。。。。  Insipid。。。〃





Yes:  the taste of it all was again sweet on her lips。  A few

days later she began to wonder how the thought of Strefford's

endearments could have been so alarming。  To be sure he was not

lavish of them; but when he did touch her; even when he kissed

her; it no longer seemed to matter。  An almost complete absence

of sensation had mercifully succeeded to the first wild flurry

of her nerves。



And so it would be; no doubt; with everything else in her new

life。  If it failed to provoke any acute reactions; whether of

pain or pleasure; the very absence of sensation would make for

peace。  And in the meanwhile she was tasting what; she had begun

to suspect; was the maximum of bliss to most of the women she

knew:  days packed with engagements; the exhilaration of

fashionable crowds; the thrill of snapping up a jewel or a

bibelot or a new 〃model〃 that one's best friend wanted; or of

being invited to some private show; or some exclusive

entertainment; that one's best friend couldn't get to。  There

was nothing; now; that she couldn't buy; nowhere that she

couldn't go:  she had only to choose and to triumph。  And for a

while the surface…excitement of her life gave her the illusion

of enjoyment。



Strefford; as she had expected; had postponed his return to

England; and they had now been for nearly three weeks together

in their new; and virtually avowed; relation。  She had fancied

that; after all; the easiest part of it would be just the being

with Streffordthe falling back on their old tried friendship

to efface the sense of strangeness。  But; though she had so soon

grown used to his caresses; he himself remained curiously

unfamiliar:  she was hardly sure; at times; that it was the old

Strefford she was talking to。  It was not that his point of view

had changed; but that new things occupied and absorbed him。  In

all the small sides of his great situation he took an almost

childish satisfaction; and though he still laughed at both its

privileges and its obligations; it was now with a jealous

laughter。



It amused him inexhaustibly; for instance; to be made up to by

all the people who had always disapproved of him; and to unite

at the same table persons who had to dissemble their annoyance

at being invited together lest they should not be invited at

all。  Equally exhilarating was the capricious favouring of the


dull and dowdy on occasions when the brilliant and disreputable

expected his notice。  It enchanted him; for example; to ask the

old Duchess of Dunes and Violet Melrose to dine with the Vicar

of Altringham; on his way to Switzerland for a month's holiday;

and to watch the face of the Vicar's wife while the Duchess

narrated her last difficulties with book…makers and money…

lenders; and Violet proclaimed the rights of Love and Genius to

all that had once been supposed to belong exclusively to

Respectability and Dulness。



Susy had to confess that her own amusements were hardly of a

higher order; but then she put up with them for lack of better;

whereas Strefford; who might have had what he pleased; was

completely satisfied with such triumphs。



Somehow; in spite of his honours and his opportunities; he

seemed to have shrunk。  The old Strefford had certainly been a

larger person; and she wondered if material prosperity were

always a beginning of ossification。  Strefford had been much

more fun when he lived by his wits。  Sometimes; now; when he

tried to talk of politics; or assert himself on some question of

public interest; she was startled by his limitations。  Formerly;

when he was not sure of his ground; it had been his way to turn

the difficulty by glib nonsense or easy irony; now he was

actually dull; at times almost pompous。  She noticed too; for

the first time; that he did not always hear clearly when several

people were talking at once; or when he was at the theatre; and

he developed a habit of saying over and over again:  〃Does so…

and…so speak indistinctly?  Or am I getting deaf; I wonder?〃

which wore on her nerves by its suggestion of a corresponding

mental infirmity。



These thoughts did not always trouble her。  The current of idle

activity on which they were both gliding was her native element

as well as his; and never had its tide been as swift; its waves

as buoyant。  In his relation to her; too; he was full of tact

and consideration。  She saw that he still remembered their

frightened exchange of glances after their first kiss; and the

sense of this little hidden spring of imagination in him was

sometimes enough for her thirst。



She had always had a rather masculine punctuality in keeping her

word; and after she had promised Strefford to take steps toward

a divorce she had promptly set about doing it。  A sudden

reluctance prevented her asking the advice of friends like Ellie

Vanderlyn; whom she knew to be in the thick of the same

negotiations; and all she could think of was to consult a young

American lawyer practicing in Paris; with whom she felt she

could talk the more easily because he was not from New York; and

probably unacquainted with her history。



She was so ignorant of the procedure in such matters that she

was surprised and relieved at his asking few personal questions;

but it was a shock to learn that a divorce could not be

obtained; either in New York or Paris; merely on the ground of

desertion or incompatibility。



〃I thought nowadays 。。。 if people preferred to live apart 。。。 it

could always be managed;〃 she stammered; wondering at her own

ignorance; after the many conjugal ruptures she had assisted at。



The young lawyer smiled; and coloured slightly。  His lovely

client evidently intimidated him by her grace; and still more by

her inexperience。



〃It can begenerally;〃 he admitted; 〃and especially so if 。。。

as I gather is the case 。。。 your husband is equally

anxious 。。。。〃



〃Oh; quite!〃 she exclaimed; suddenly humiliated by having to

admit it。



〃Well; thenmay I suggest that; to bring matters to a point;

the best way would be for you to write to him?〃



She recoiled slightly。  It had never occurred to her that the

lawyers would not 〃manage it〃 without her intervention。



〃Write to him 。。。 but what about?〃



〃Well; expressing your wish 。。。 to recover your freedom 。。。。

The rest; I assume;〃 said the young lawyer; 〃may be left to Mr。

Lansing。〃




She did not know exactly what he meant; and was too much

perturbed by the idea of having to communicate with Nick to

follow any other train of thought。  How could she write such a

letter?  And yet how could she confess to the lawyer that she

had not the courage to do so?  He would; of course; tell her to

go home and be reconciled。  She hesitated perplexedly。



〃Wouldn't it be better;〃 she suggested; 〃if the letter were to

come fromfrom your office?〃



He considered this politely。  〃On the whole:  no。  If; as I take

it; an amicable arrangement is necessaryto secure the

requisite evidence then a line from you; suggesting an

interview; seems to me more advisable。〃



〃An interview?  Is an interview necessary?〃  She was ashamed to

show her agitation to this cautiously smiling young man; who

must wonder at her childish lack of understanding; but the break

in her voice was uncontrollable。



〃Oh; please write to himI can't!  And I can't see him!  Oh;

can't you arrange it for me?〃 she pleaded。



She saw now that her idea of a divorce had been that it was

something one went outor sent outto buy in a shop:

something concrete and portable; that Strefford's money could

pay for; and that it required no personal participation to

obtain。  What a fool the lawyer must think her!  Stiffening

herself; she rose from her seat。



〃My husband and I don't wish to see each other again 。。。。  I'm

sure it would be useless 。。。 and very painful。〃



〃You are the best judge; of course。  But in any case; a letter

from you; 
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