the glimpses of the moon-第34部分

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Ellie　herself；　prodigally　pearled　and　ermined；　had　floated　in

late　with　Algie　Bockheimer　in　her　wake；　and　sat；　in　conspicuous

tete…a…tete；　nodding　and　signalling　her　sympathy　to　Susy。

Approval　beamed　from　every　eye：　　it　was　awfully　exciting；　they

all　seemed　to　say；　seeing　Susy　Lansing　pull　it　off！　　As　the

party；　after　dinner；　drifted　from　the　restaurant　back　into　the

hall；　she　caught；　in　the　smiles　and　hand…pressures　crowding

about　her；　the　scarcely…repressed　hint　of　official

congratulations；　and　Violet　Melrose；　seated　in　a　corner　with

Fulmer；　drew　her　down　with　a　wan　jade…circled　arm；　to　whisper

tenderly：　　〃It's　most　awfully　clever　of　you；　darling；　not　to　be

wearing　any　jewels。〃



In　all　the　women's　eyes　she　read　the　reflected　lustre　of　the

jewels　she　could　wear　when　she　chose：　　it　was　as　though　their

glitter　reached　her　from　the　far…off　bank　where　they　lay　sealed

up　in　the　Altringham　strong…box。　　What　a　fool　she　had　been　to

think　that　Strefford　would　ever　believe　she　didn't　care　for

them！



The　Ambassadress；　a　blank　perpendicular　person；　had　been　a　shade

less　affable　than　Susy　could　have　wished；　but　then　there　was

Lady　Joanand　the　girl　was　handsome；　alarmingly　handsome　to

account　for　that：　　probably　every　one　in　the　room　had　guessed

it。　　And　the　old　Duchess　of　Dunes　was　delightful。　　She　looked

rather　like　Strefford　in　a　wig　and　false　pearls　（Susy　was　sure

they　were　as　false　as　her　teeth）；　and　her　cordiality　was　so

demonstrative　that　the　future　bride　found　it　more　difficult　to

account　for　than　Lady　Ascot's　coldness；　till　she　heard　the　old

lady；　as　they　passed　into　the　hall；　breathe　in　a　hissing　whisper

to　her　nephew：　　〃Streff；　dearest；　when　you　have　a　minute's　time；

and　can　drop　in　at　my　wretched　little　pension；　I　know　you　can

explain　in　two　words　what　I　ought　to　do　to　pacify　those　awful

money…lenders　。。。。　　And　you'll　bring　your　exquisite　American　to

see　me；　won't　you！　。。。　　No；　Joan　Senechal's　too　fair　for　my

taste　。。。。　　Insipid。。。〃

〃



Yes：　　the　taste　of　it　all　was　again　sweet　on　her　lips。　　A　few

days　later　she　began　to　wonder　how　the　thought　of　Strefford's

endearments　could　have　been　so　alarming。　　To　be　sure　he　was　not

lavish　of　them；　but　when　he　did　touch　her；　even　when　he　kissed

her；　it　no　longer　seemed　to　matter。　　An　almost　complete　absence

of　sensation　had　mercifully　succeeded　to　the　first　wild　flurry

of　her　nerves。



And　so　it　would　be；　no　doubt；　with　everything　else　in　her　new

life。　　If　it　failed　to　provoke　any　acute　reactions；　whether　of

pain　or　pleasure；　the　very　absence　of　sensation　would　make　for

peace。　　And　in　the　meanwhile　she　was　tasting　what；　she　had　begun

to　suspect；　was　the　maximum　of　bliss　to　most　of　the　women　she

knew：　　days　packed　with　engagements；　the　exhilaration　of

fashionable　crowds；　the　thrill　of　snapping　up　a　jewel　or　a

bibelot　or　a　new　〃model〃　that　one's　best　friend　wanted；　or　of

being　invited　to　some　private　show；　or　some　exclusive

entertainment；　that　one's　best　friend　couldn't　get　to。　　There

was　nothing；　now；　that　she　couldn't　buy；　nowhere　that　she

couldn't　go：　　she　had　only　to　choose　and　to　triumph。　　And　for　a

while　the　surface…excitement　of　her　life　gave　her　the　illusion

of　enjoyment。



Strefford；　as　she　had　expected；　had　postponed　his　return　to

England；　and　they　had　now　been　for　nearly　three　weeks　together

in　their　new；　and　virtually　avowed；　relation。　　She　had　fancied

that；　after　all；　the　easiest　part　of　it　would　be　just　the　being

with　Streffordthe　falling　back　on　their　old　tried　friendship

to　efface　the　sense　of　strangeness。　　But；　though　she　had　so　soon

grown　used　to　his　caresses；　he　himself　remained　curiously

unfamiliar：　　she　was　hardly　sure；　at　times；　that　it　was　the　old

Strefford　she　was　talking　to。　　It　was　not　that　his　point　of　view

had　changed；　but　that　new　things　occupied　and　absorbed　him。　　In

all　the　small　sides　of　his　great　situation　he　took　an　almost

childish　satisfaction；　and　though　he　still　laughed　at　both　its

privileges　and　its　obligations；　it　was　now　with　a　jealous

laughter。



It　amused　him　inexhaustibly；　for　instance；　to　be　made　up　to　by

all　the　people　who　had　always　disapproved　of　him；　and　to　unite

at　the　same　table　persons　who　had　to　dissemble　their　annoyance

at　being　invited　together　lest　they　should　not　be　invited　at

all。　　Equally　exhilarating　was　the　capricious　favouring　of　the


dull　and　dowdy　on　occasions　when　the　brilliant　and　disreputable

expected　his　notice。　　It　enchanted　him；　for　example；　to　ask　the

old　Duchess　of　Dunes　and　Violet　Melrose　to　dine　with　the　Vicar

of　Altringham；　on　his　way　to　Switzerland　for　a　month's　holiday；

and　to　watch　the　face　of　the　Vicar's　wife　while　the　Duchess

narrated　her　last　difficulties　with　book…makers　and　money…

lenders；　and　Violet　proclaimed　the　rights　of　Love　and　Genius　to

all　that　had　once　been　supposed　to　belong　exclusively　to

Respectability　and　Dulness。



Susy　had　to　confess　that　her　own　amusements　were　hardly　of　a

higher　order；　but　then　she　put　up　with　them　for　lack　of　better；

whereas　Strefford；　who　might　have　had　what　he　pleased；　was

completely　satisfied　with　such　triumphs。



Somehow；　in　spite　of　his　honours　and　his　opportunities；　he

seemed　to　have　shrunk。　　The　old　Strefford　had　certainly　been　a

larger　person；　and　she　wondered　if　material　prosperity　were

always　a　beginning　of　ossification。　　Strefford　had　been　much

more　fun　when　he　lived　by　his　wits。　　Sometimes；　now；　when　he

tried　to　talk　of　politics；　or　assert　himself　on　some　question　of

public　interest；　she　was　startled　by　his　limitations。　　Formerly；

when　he　was　not　sure　of　his　ground；　it　had　been　his　way　to　turn

the　difficulty　by　glib　nonsense　or　easy　irony；　now　he　was

actually　dull；　at　times　almost　pompous。　　She　noticed　too；　for

the　first　time；　that　he　did　not　always　hear　clearly　when　several

people　were　talking　at　once；　or　when　he　was　at　the　theatre；　and

he　developed　a　habit　of　saying　over　and　over　again：　　〃Does　so…

and…so　speak　indistinctly？　　Or　am　I　getting　deaf；　I　wonder？〃

which　wore　on　her　nerves　by　its　suggestion　of　a　corresponding

mental　infirmity。



These　thoughts　did　not　always　trouble　her。　　The　current　of　idle

activity　on　which　they　were　both　gliding　was　her　native　element

as　well　as　his；　and　never　had　its　tide　been　as　swift；　its　waves

as　buoyant。　　In　his　relation　to　her；　too；　he　was　full　of　tact

and　consideration。　　She　saw　that　he　still　remembered　their

frightened　exchange　of　glances　after　their　first　kiss；　and　the

sense　of　this　little　hidden　spring　of　imagination　in　him　was

sometimes　enough　for　her　thirst。



She　had　always　had　a　rather　masculine　punctuality　in　keeping　her

word；　and　after　she　had　promised　Strefford　to　take　steps　toward

a　divorce　she　had　promptly　set　about　doing　it。　　A　sudden

reluctance　prevented　her　asking　the　advice　of　friends　like　Ellie

Vanderlyn；　whom　she　knew　to　be　in　the　thick　of　the　same

negotiations；　and　all　she　could　think　of　was　to　consult　a　young

American　lawyer　practicing　in　Paris；　with　whom　she　felt　she

could　talk　the　more　easily　because　he　was　not　from　New　York；　and

probably　unacquainted　with　her　history。



She　was　so　ignorant　of　the　procedure　in　such　matters　that　she

was　surprised　and　relieved　at　his　asking　few　personal　questions；

but　it　was　a　shock　to　learn　that　a　divorce　could　not　be

obtained；　either　in　New　York　or　Paris；　merely　on　the　ground　of

desertion　or　incompatibility。



〃I　thought　nowadays　。。。　if　people　preferred　to　live　apart　。。。　it

could　always　be　managed；〃　she　stammered；　wondering　at　her　own

ignorance；　after　the　many　conjugal　ruptures　she　had　assisted　at。



The　young　lawyer　smiled；　and　coloured　slightly。　　His　lovely

client　evidently　intimidated　him　by　her　grace；　and　still　more　by

her　inexperience。



〃It　can　begenerally；〃　he　admitted；　〃and　especially　so　if　。。。

as　I　gather　is　the　case　。。。　your　husband　is　equally

anxious　。。。。〃



〃Oh；　quite！〃　she　exclaimed；　suddenly　humiliated　by　having　to

admit　it。



〃Well；　thenmay　I　suggest　that；　to　bring　matters　to　a　point；

the　best　way　would　be　for　you　to　write　to　him？〃



She　recoiled　slightly。　　It　had　never　occurred　to　her　that　the

lawyers　would　not　〃manage　it〃　without　her　intervention。



〃Write　to　him　。。。　but　what　about？〃



〃Well；　expressing　your　wish　。。。　to　recover　your　freedom　。。。。

The　rest；　I　assume；〃　said　the　young　lawyer；　〃may　be　left　to　Mr。

Lansing。〃




She　did　not　know　exactly　what　he　meant；　and　was　too　much

perturbed　by　the　idea　of　having　to　communicate　with　Nick　to

follow　any　other　train　of　thought。　　How　could　she　write　such　a

letter？　　And　yet　how　could　she　confess　to　the　lawyer　that　she

had　not　the　courage　to　do　so？　　He　would；　of　course；　tell　her　to

go　home　and　be　reconciled。　　She　hesitated　perplexedly。



〃Wouldn't　it　be　better；〃　she　suggested；　〃if　the　letter　were　to

come　fromfrom　your　office？〃



He　considered　this　politely。　　〃On　the　whole：　　no。　　If；　as　I　take

it；　an　amicable　arrangement　is　necessaryto　secure　the

requisite　evidence　then　a　line　from　you；　suggesting　an

interview；　seems　to　me　more　advisable。〃



〃An　interview？　　Is　an　interview　necessary？〃　　She　was　ashamed　to

show　her　agitation　to　this　cautiously　smiling　young　man；　who

must　wonder　at　her　childish　lack　of　understanding；　but　the　break

in　her　voice　was　uncontrollable。



〃Oh；　please　write　to　himI　can't！　　And　I　can't　see　him！　　Oh；

can't　you　arrange　it　for　me？〃　she　pleaded。



She　saw　now　that　her　idea　of　a　divorce　had　been　that　it　was

something　one　went　outor　sent　outto　buy　in　a　shop：

something　concrete　and　portable；　that　Strefford's　money　could

pay　for；　and　that　it　required　no　personal　participation　to

obtain。　　What　a　fool　the　lawyer　must　think　her！　　Stiffening

herself；　she　rose　from　her　seat。



〃My　husband　and　I　don't　wish　to　see　each　other　again　。。。。　　I'm

sure　it　would　be　useless　。。。　and　very　painful。〃



〃You　are　the　best　judge；　of　course。　　But　in　any　case；　a　letter

from　you；