the glimpses of the moon-第39部分

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congenial　than　during　his　first　months　with　them。　　He　preferred

patiently　explaining　to　Mrs。　Hicks；　for　the　hundredth　time；　that

Sassanian　and　Saracenic　were　not　interchangeable　terms；　to

unravelling　for　her　the　genealogies　of　her　titled　guests；　and

reminding　her；　when　she　〃seated〃　her　dinner…parties；　that　Dukes

ranked　higher　than　Princes。　　Nothe　job　was　decidedly

intolerable；　and　he　would　have　to　look　out　for　another　means　of

earning　his　living。　　But　that　was　not　what　he　had　really　got

away　to　think　about。　　He　knew　he　should　never　starve；　he　had

even　begun　to　believe　again　in　his　book。　　What　he　wanted　to

think　of　was　Susyor　rather；　it　was　Susy　that　he　could　not　help

thinking　of；　on　whatever　train　of　thought　he　set　out。



Again　and　again　he　fancied　he　had　established　a　truce　with　the

past：　　had　come　to　termsthe　terms　of　defeat　and　failure　with

that　bright　enemy　called　happiness。　　And；　in　truth；　he　had

reached　the　point　of　definitely　knowing　that　he　could　never

return　to　the　kind　of　life　that　he　and　Susy　had　embarked　on。　　It

had　been　the　tragedy；　of　their　relation　that　loving　her　roused

in　him　ideals　she　could　never　satisfy。　　He　had　fallen　in　love

with　her　because　she　was；　like　himself；　amused；　unprejudiced　and

disenchanted；　and　he　could　not　go　on　loving　her　unless　she

ceased　to　be　all　these　things。　　From　that　circle　there　was　no

issue；　and　in　it　he　desperately　revolved。



If　he　had　not　heard　such　persistent　rumours　of　her　re…marriage

to　Lord　Altringham　he　might　have　tried　to　see　her　again；　but；

aware　of　the　danger　and　the　hopelessness　of　a　meeting；　he　was；

on　the　whole；　glad　to　have　a　reason　for　avoiding　it。　　Such；　at

least；　he　honestly　supposed　to　be　his　state　of　mind　until　he

found　himself；　as　on　this　occasion；　free　to　follow　out　his

thought　to　its　end。　　That　end；　invariably；　was　Susy；　not　the

bundle　of　qualities　and　defects　into　which　his　critical　spirit

had　tried　to　sort　her　out；　but　the　soft　blur　of　identity；　of

personality；　of　eyes；　hair；　mouth；　laugh；　tricks　of　speech　and

gesture；　that　were　all　so　solely　and　profoundly　her　own；　and　yet

so　mysteriously　independent　of　what　she　might　do；　say；　think；　in

crucial　circumstances。　　He　remembered　her　once　saying　to　him：

〃After　all；　you　were　right　when　you　wanted　me　to　be　your

mistress；〃　and　the　indignant　stare　of　incredulity　with　which　he

had　answered　her。　　Yet　in　these　hours　it　was　the　palpable　image

of　her　that　clung　closest；　till；　as　invariably　happened；　his

vision　came　full　circle；　and　feeling　her　on　his　breast　he　wanted

her　also　in　his　soul。



Wellsuch　all…encompassing　loves　were　the　rarest　of　human

experiences；　he　smiled　at　his　presumption　in　wanting　no　other。

Wearily　he　turned；　and　tramped　homeward　through　the　winter

twilight　。。。。



At　the　door　of　the　hotel　he　ran　across　the　Prince　of　Teutoburg's

aide…de…camp。　　They　had　not　met　for　some　days；　and　Nick　had　a

vague　feeling　that　if　the　Prince's　matrimonial　designs　took

definite　shape　he　himself　was　not　likely；　after　all；　to　be　their

chosen　exponent。　　He　had　surprised；　now　and　then；　a　certain

distrustful　coldness　under　the　Princess　Mother's　cordial　glance；

and　had　concluded　that　she　perhaps　suspected　him　of　being　an

obstacle　to　her　son's　aspirations。　　He　had　no　idea　of　playing

that　part；　but　was　not　sorry　to　appear　to；　for　he　was　sincerely

attached　to　Coral　Hicks；　and　hoped　for　her　a　more　human　fate

than　that　of　becoming　Prince　Anastasius's　consort。



This　evening；　however；　he　was　struck　by　the　beaming　alacrity　of

the　aide…de…camp's　greeting。　　Whatever　cloud　had　hung　between

them　had　lifted：　　the　Teutoburg　clan；　for　one　reason　or　another；

no　longer　feared　or　distrusted　him。　　The　change　was　conveyed　in

a　mere　hand…pressure；　a　brief　exchange　of　words；　for　the　aide…

de…camp　was　hastening　after　a　well…known　dowager　of　the　old

Roman　world；　whom　he　helped　into　a　large　coronetted　brougham

which　looked　as　if　it　had　been　extracted；　for　some　ceremonial

purpose；　from　a　museum　of　historic　vehicles。　　And　in　an　instant

it　flashed　on　Lansing　that　this　lady　had　been　the　person　chosen

to　lay　the　Prince's　offer　at　Miss　Hicks's　feet。



The　discovery　piqued　him；　and　instead　of　making　straight　for　his

own　room　he　went　up　to　Mrs。　Hicks's　drawing…room。



The　room　was　empty；　but　traces　of　elaborate　tea　pervaded　it；　and

an　immense　bouquet　of　stiff　roses　lay　on　the　centre　table。　　As

he　turned　away；　Eldorada　Tooker；　flushed　and　tear…stained；

abruptly　entered。



〃Oh；　Mr。　Lansingwe　were　looking　everywhere　for　you。〃



〃Looking　for　me？〃



〃Yes。　　Coral　especially　。。。　she　wants　to　see　you。　　She　wants　you

to　come　to　her　own　sitting…room。〃



She　led　him　across　the　ante…chamber　and　down　the　passage　to　the

separate　suite　which　Miss　Hicks　inhabited。　　On　the　threshold

Eldorada　gasped　out　emotionally：　　〃You'll　find　her　looking

lovely〃　and　jerked　away　with　a　sob　as　he　entered。



Coral　Hicks　was　never　lovely：　　but　she　certainly　looked

unusually　handsome。　　Perhaps　it　was　the　long　dress　of　black

velvet　which；　outlined　against　a　shaded　lamp；　made　her　strong

build　seem　slenderer；　or　perhaps　the　slight　flush　on　her　dusky

cheek：　　a　bloom　of　womanhood　hung　upon　her　which　she　made　no

effort　to　dissemble。　　Indeed；　it　was　one　of　her　originalities

that　she　always　gravely　and　courageously　revealed　the　utmost　of

whatever　mood　possessed　her。



〃How　splendid　you　look！〃　he　said；　smiling　at　her。



She　threw　her　head　back　and　gazed　him　straight　in　the　eyes。

〃That's　going　to　be　my　future　job。〃



〃To　look　splendid？〃



〃Yes。〃



〃And　wear　a　crown？〃



〃And　wear　a　crown　。。。。〃



They　continued　to　consider　each　other　without　speaking。　　Nick's

heart　contracted　with　pity　and　perplexity。



〃Oh；　Coralit's　not　decided？〃



She　scrutinized　him　for　a　last　penetrating　moment；　then　she

looked　away。　　〃I'm　never　long　deciding。〃



He　hesitated；　choking　with　contradictory　impulses；　and　afraid　to

formulate　any；　lest　they　should　either　mislead　or　pain　her。



〃Why　didn't　you　tell　me？〃　he　questioned　lamely；　and　instantly

perceived　his　blunder。



She　sat　down；　and　looked　up　at　him　under　brooding　lasheshad　he

ever　noticed　the　thickness　of　her　lashes　before？



〃Would　it　have　made　any　difference　if　I　had　told　you？〃



〃Any　difference？〃



〃Sit　down　by　me；〃　she　commanded。　　〃I　want　to　talk　to　you。　　You

can　say　now　whatever　you　might　have　said　sooner。　　I'm　not

married　yet：　　I'm　still　free。〃



〃You　haven't　given　your　answer？〃



〃It　doesn't　matter　if　I　have。〃



The　retort　frightened　him　with　the　glimpse　of　what　she　still

expected　of　him；　and　what　he　was　still　so　unable　to　give。



〃That　means　you've　said　yes？〃　he　pursued；　to　gain　time。



〃Yes　or　noit　doesn't　matter。　　I　had　to　say　something。　　What　I

want　is　your　advice。〃



〃At　the　eleventh　hour？〃



〃Or　the　twelfth。〃　　She　paused。　　〃What　shall　I　do？〃　she

questioned；　with　a　sudden　accent　of　helplessness。



He　looked　at　her　as　helplessly。　　He　could　not　say：　　〃Ask

yourselfask　your　parents。〃　　Her　next　word　would　sweep　away

such　frail　hypocrisies。　　Her　〃What　shall　I　do？〃　meant　〃What　are

you　going　to　do？〃　and　he　knew　it；　and　knew　that　she　knew　it。



〃I'm　a　bad　person　to　give　any　one　matrimonial　advice；〃　he　began；

with　a　strained　smile；　〃but　I　had　such　a　different　vision　for

you。〃



〃What　kind　of　a　vision？〃　She　was　merciless。



〃Merely　what　people　call　happiness；　dear。〃



〃'People　call'you　see　you　don't　believe　in　it　yourself！　　Well；

neither　do　Iin　that　form；　at　any　rate。　〃



He　considered。　〃I　believe　in　trying　for　iteven　if　the　trying's

the　best　of　it。〃



〃Well；　I've　tried；　and　failed。　　And　I'm　twenty…two；　and　I　never

was　young。　　I　suppose　I　haven't　enough　imagination。〃　　She　drew　a

deep　breath。　　〃Now　I　want　something　different。〃　　She　appeared　to

search　for　the　word。　　〃I　want　to　beprominent；〃　she　declared。



〃Prominent？〃



She　reddened　swarthily。　　〃Oh；　you　smileyou　think　it's

ridiculous：　　it　doesn't　seem　worth　while　to　you。　　That's　because

you've　always　had　all　those　things。　　But　I　haven't。　　I　know　what

father　pushed　up　from；　and　I　want　to　push　up　as　high　again

higher。　　No；　I　haven't　got　much　imagination。　　I've　always　liked

Facts。　　And　I　find　I　shall　like　the　fact　of　being　a　Princess

choosing　the　people　I　associate　with；　and　being　up　above　all

these　European　grandees　that　father　and　mother　bow　down　to；

though　they　think　they　despise　them。　　You　can　be　up　above　these

people　by　just　being　yourself；　you　know　how。　　But　I　need　a

platforma　sky…scraper。　　Father　and　mother　slaved　to　give　me　my

education。　　They　thought　education　was　the　important　thing；　but；

since　we've　all　three　of　us　got　mediocre　minds；　it　has　just

landed　us　among　mediocre　people。　　Don't　you　suppose　I　see

through　all　the　sham　science　and　sham　art　and　sham　everything

we're　surrounded　with？　　That's　why　I　want　to　buy　a　place　at　the

very　top；　where　I　shall　be　powerful　enough　to　get　about　me　the

people　I　want；　the　big　people；　the　right　people；　and　to　help

them　I　want　to　promote　culture；　like　those　Renaissance　women

you're　always　talking　about。　　I　want　to　do　it　for　Apex　City；　do

you　understand？　　And　for　father　and　mother　too。　　I　want　all

those　titles　carved　on　my　tombstone。　　They're　facts；　anyhow！

Don't　laugh　at　me　。。。。〃　　She　broke　off　with　one　of　her　clumsy

smiles；　and　moved　away　from　him　to　the　other　end　of　the　room。



He　sat　looking　at　her　with　a　curious　feeling　of　admiration。　　Her

harsh　positivism　was　like　a　tonic　to　his　disenchanted　mood；　and

he　thought：　　〃What　a　pity！〃



Aloud　he　said：　　〃I　don't　feel　like　laughing　at　you。　　You're　a

great　woman。〃



〃Then　I　shall　be　a　great　Princess。〃



〃Ohbut　you　might　have　been　something　so　much　greater！〃



Her　face　flamed　again。　　〃Don't　say　that！〃



He　stood　up　involuntarily；　and　drew　near　her。



〃Why　not？〃



〃Because　you're　the　only　man　with　whom　I　can　imagine　the　other

kind　of　greatn