the glimpses of the moon-第40部分

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〃Why　not？〃



〃Because　you're　the　only　man　with　whom　I　can　imagine　the　other

kind　of　greatness。〃



It　moved　himmoved　him　unexpectedly。　　He　got　as　far　as　saying

to　himself：　　〃Good　God；　if　she　were　not　so　hideously　rich〃　and

then　of　yielding　for　a　moment　to　the　persuasive　vision　of　all

that　he　and　she　might　do　with　those　very　riches　which　he

dreaded。　　After　all；　there　was　nothing　mean　in　her　ideals　they

were　hard　and　material；　in　keeping　with　her　primitive　and

massive　person；　but　they　had　a　certain　grim　nobility。　　And　when

she　spoke　of　〃the　other　kind　of　greatness〃　he　knew　that　she

understood　what　she　was　talking　of；　and　was　not　merely　saying

something　to　draw　him　on；　to　get　him　to　commit　himself。　　There

was　not　a　drop　of　guile　in　her；　except　that　which　her　very

honesty　distilled。



〃The　other　kind　of　greatness？〃　he　repeated。



〃Well；　isn't　that　what　you　said　happiness　was？　　I　wanted　to　be

happy　。。。　but　one　can't　choose。〃



He　went　up　to　her。　　〃No；　one　can't　choose。　　And　how　can　anyone

give　you　happiness　who　hasn't　got　it　himself？〃　　He　took　her

hands；　feeling　how　large；　muscular　and　voluntary　they　were；　even

as　they　melted　in　his　palms。



〃My　poor　Coral；　of　what　use　can　I　ever　be　to　you？　　What　you　need

is　to　be　loved。〃



She　drew　back　and　gave　him　one　of　her　straight　strong　glances：

〃No；〃　she　said　gallantly；　〃but　just　to　love。〃







PART　III



XXV



IN　the　persistent　drizzle　of　a　Paris　winter　morning　Susy　Lansing

walked　back　alone　from　the　school　at　which　she　had　just

deposited　the　four　eldest　Fulmers　to　the　little　house　in　Passy

where；　for　the　last　two　months；　she　had　been　living　with　them。



She　had　on　ready…made　boots；　an　old　waterproof　and　a　last　year's

hat；　but　none　of　these　facts　disturbed　her；　though　she　took　no

particular　pride　in　them。　　The　truth　was　that　she　was　too　busy

to　think　much　about　them。　　Since　she　had　assumed　the　charge　of

the　Fulmer　children；　in　the　absence　of　both　their　parents　in

Italy；　she　had　had　to　pass　through　such　an　arduous

apprenticeship　of　motherhood　that　every　moment　of　her　waking

hours　was　packed　with　things　to　do　at　once；　and　other　things　to

remember　to　do　later。　　There　were　only　five　Fulmers；　but　at

times　they　were　like　an　army　with　banners；　and　their　power　of

self…multiplication　was　equalled　only　by　the　manner　in　which

they　could　dwindle；　vanish；　grow　mute；　and　become　as　it　were　a

single　tumbled　brown　head　bent　over　a　book　in　some　corner　of　the

house　in　which　nobody　would　ever　have　thought　of　hunting　for

themand　which；　of　course；　were　it　the　bonne's　room　in　the

attic；　or　the　subterranean　closet　where　the　trunks　were　kept；

had　been　singled　out　by　them　for　that　very　reason。



These　changes　from　ubiquity　to　invisibility　would　have　seemed　to

Susy；　a　few　months　earlier；　one　of　the　most　maddening　of　many

characteristics　not　calculated　to　promote　repose。　　But　now　she

felt　differently。　　She　had　grown　interested　in　her　charges；　and

the　search　for　a　clue　to　their　methods；　whether　tribal　or

individual；　was　as　exciting　to　her　as　the　development　of　a

detective　story。



What　interested　her　most　in　the　whole　stirring　business　was　the

discovery　that　they　had　a　method。　　These　little　creatures；

pitched　upward　into　experience　on　the　tossing　waves　of　their

parents'　agitated　lives；　had　managed　to　establish　a　rough…and…

ready　system　of　self…government。　　Junie；　the　eldest　（the　one　who

already　chose　her　mother's　hats；　and　tried　to　put　order　in　her

wardrobe）　was　the　recognized　head　of　the　state。　　At　twelve　she

knew　lots　of　things　which　her　mother　had　never　thoroughly

learned；　and　Susy；　her　temporary　mother；　had　never　even　guessed

at：　　she　spoke　with　authority　on　all　vital　subjects；　from

castor…oil　to　flannel　under…clothes；　from　the　fair　sharing　of

stamps　or　marbles　to　the　number　of　helpings　of　rice…pudding　or

jam　which　each　child　was　entitled　to。



There　was　hardly　any　appeal　from　her　verdict；　yet　each　of　her

subjects　revolved　in　his　or　her　own　orbit　of　independence；

according　to　laws　which　Junie　acknowledged　and　respected；　and

the　interpreting　of　this　mysterious　charter　of　rights　and

privileges　had　not　been　without　difficulty　for　Susy。



Besides　this；　there　were　material　difficulties　to　deal　with。

The　six　of　them；　and　the　breathless　bonne　who　cooked　and　slaved

for　them　all；　had　but　a　slim　budget　to　live　on；　and；　as　Junie

remarked；　you'd　have　thought　the　boys　ate　their　shoes；　the　way

they　vanished。　　They　ate；　certainly；　a　great　deal　else；　and

mostly　of　a　nourishing　and　expensive　kind。　　They　had　definite

views　about　the　amount　and　quality　of　their　food；　and　were

capable　of　concerted　rebellion　when　Susy's　catering　fell　beneath

their　standard。　　All　this　made　her　life　a　hurried　and　harassing

business；　but　never　what　she　had　most　feared　it　would　be　a

dull　or　depressing　one。



It　was　not；　she　owned　to　herself；　that　the　society　of　the　Fulmer

children　had　roused　in　her　any　abstract　passion　for　the　human

young。　　She　knewhad　known　since　Nick's　first　kisshow　she

would　love　any　child　of　his　and　hers；　and　she　had　cherished　poor

little　Clarissa　Vanderlyn　with　a　shrinking　and　wistful

solicitude。　　But　in　these　rough　young　Fulmers　she　took　a

positive　delight；　and　for　reasons　that　were　increasingly　clear

to　her。　　It　was　because；　in　the　first　place；　they　were　all

intelligent；　and　because　their　intelligence　had　been　fed　only　on

things　worth　caring　for。　　However　inadequate　Grace　Fulmer's

bringing…up　of　her　increasing　tribe　had　been；　they　had　heard　in

her　company　nothing　trivial　or　dull：　　good　music；　good　books　and

good　talk　had　been　their　daily　food；　and　if　at　times　they

stamped　and　roared　and　crashed　about　like　children　unblessed　by

such　privileges；　at　others　they　shone　with　the　light　of　poetry

and　spoke　with　the　voice　of　wisdom。



That　had　been　Susy's　discovery：　　for　the　first　time　she　was

among　awakening　minds　which　had　been　wakened　only　to　beauty。

》From　their　cramped　and　uncomfortable　household　Grace　and　Nat

Fulmer　had　managed　to　keep　out　mean　envies；　vulgar　admirations；

shabby　discontents；　above　all　the　din　and　confusion　the　great

images　of　beauty　had　brooded；　like　those　ancestral　figures　that

stood　apart　on　their　shelf　in　the　poorest　Roman　households。



No；　the　task　she　had　undertaken　for　want　of　a　better　gave　Susy

no　sense　of　a　missed　vocation：　　〃mothering〃　on　a　large　scale

would　never；　she　perceived；　be　her　job。　　Rather　it　gave　her；　in

odd　ways；　the　sense　of　being　herself　mothered；　of　taking　her

first　steps　in　the　life　of　immaterial　values　which　had　begun　to

seem　so　much　more　substantial　than　any　she　had　known。



On　the　day　when　she　had　gone　to　Grace　Fulmer　for　counsel　and

comfort　she　had　little　guessed　that　they　would　come　to　her　in

this　form。　　She　had　found　her　friend；　more　than　ever　distracted

and　yet　buoyant；　riding　the　large　untidy　waves　of　her　life　with

the　splashed　ease　of　an　amphibian。　　Grace　was　probably　the　only

person　among　Susy's　friends　who　could　have　understood　why　she

could　not　make　up　her　mind　to　marry　Altringham；　but　at　the

moment　Grace　was　too　much　absorbed　in　her　own　problems　to　pay

much　attention　to　her　friend's；　and；　according　to　her　wont；　she

immediately　〃unpacked〃　her　difficulties。



Nat　was　not　getting　what　she　had　hoped　out　of　his　European

opportunity。　　Oh；　she　was　enough　of　an　artist　herself　to　know

that　there　must　be　fallow　periodsthat　the　impact　of　new

impressions　seldom　produced　immediate　results。　　She　had　allowed

for　all　that。　　But　her　past　experience　of　Nat's　moods　had　taught

her　to　know　just　when　he　was　assimilating；　when　impressions　were

fructifying　in　him。　　And　now　they　were　not；　and　he　knew　it　as

well　as　she　did。　　There　had　been　too　much　rushing　about；　too

much　excitement　and　sterile　flattery　。。。　Mrs。　Melrose？　　Well；

yes；　for　a　while　。。。　the　trip　to　Spain　had　been　a　love…journey；

no　doubt。　　Grace　spoke　calmly；　but　the　lines　of　her　face

sharpened：　　she　had　suffered；　oh　horribly；　at　his　going　to　Spain

without　her。　　Yet　she　couldn't；　for　the　children's　sake；　afford

to　miss　the　big　sum　that　Ursula　Gillow　had　given　her　for　her

fortnight　at　Ruan。　　And　her　playing　had　struck　people；　and　led；

on　the　way　back；　to　two　or　three　profitable　engagements　in

private　houses　in　London。　　Fashionable　society　had　made　〃a

little　fuss〃　about　her；　and　it　had　surprised　and　pleased　Nat；

and　given　her　a　new　importance　in　his　eyes。　　〃He　was　beginning

to　forget　that　I　wasn't　only　a　nursery…maid；　and　it's　been　a

good　thing　for　him　to　be　reminded　。。。　but　the　great　thing　is

that　with　what　I've　earned　he　and　I　can　go　off　to　southern　Italy

and　Sicily　for　three　months。　　You　know　I　know　how　to　manage　。。。

and；　alone　with　me；　Nat　will　settle　down　to　work：　　to　observing；

feeling；　soaking　things　in。　　It's　the　only　way。　Mrs。　Melrose

wants　to　take　him；　to　pay　all　the　expenses　again…well　she

shan't。　　I'll　pay　them。〃　　Her　worn　cheek　flushed　with　triumph。

〃And　you'll　see　what　wonders　will　come　of　it　。。。。　　Only　there's

the　problem　of　the　children。　　Junie　quite　agrees　that　we　can't

take　them　。。。。〃



Thereupon　she　had　unfolded　her　idea。　　If　Susy　was　at　a　loose

end；　and　hard　up；　why　shouldn't　she　take　charge　of　the　children

while　their　parents　were　in　Italy？　　For　three　months　at　most…

Grace　could　promise　it　shouldn't　be　longer。　　They　couldn't　pay

her　much；　of　course；　but　at　least　she　would　be　lodged　and　fed。

〃And；　you　know；　it　will　end　by　interesting　youI'm　sure　it

will；〃　the　mother　concluded；　her　irrepressible　hopefulness

rising　even　to　this　height；　while　Susy　stood　before　her　with　a

hesitating　smile。



Take　care　of　five　Fulmers　for　three　months！　　The　prospect　cowed

her。　　If　there　had　been　only　Junie　and　Geordie；　the　oldest　and

youngest　of　the　band；　she　might　have　felt　less　hesitation。　　But

there　was　Nat；　the　second　in　age；　whose　motor…horn　had　driven

her　and　Nick　out　to　the　hill…side　on　their　fatal　day　at　the

F