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the glimpses of the moon-第42部分

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paragraphs that had reached her in the last months。  It was

evident that Miss Hicks's projected marriage with the Prince of

Teutoburg…Waldhain had been broken off at the last moment; and

broken off because she intended to marry Nick。  The announcement

of his arrival in Paris and the publication of Mr。 and Mrs。

Hicks's formal denial of their daughter's betrothal coincided

too closely to admit of any other inference。  Susy tried to

grasp the reality of these assembled facts; to picture to

herself their actual tangible results。  She thought of Coral

Hicks bearing the name of Mrs。 Nick Lansingher name; Susy's

own!and entering drawing…rooms with Nick in her wake; gaily

welcomed by the very people who; a few months before; had

welcomed Susy with the same warmth。  In spite of Nick's growing

dislike of society; and Coral's attitude of intellectual

superiority; their wealth would fatally draw them back into the

world to which Nick was attached by all his habits and

associations。  And no doubt it would amuse him to re…enter that

world as a dispenser of hospitality; to play the part of host

where he had so long been a guest; just as Susy had once fancied

it would amuse her to re…enter it as Lady Altringham 。。。。  But;

try as she would; now that the reality was so close on her; she

could not visualize it or relate it to herself。  The mere

juxtaposition of the two namesCoral; Nickwhich in old times

she had so often laughingly coupled; now produced a blur in her

brain。



She continued to sit helplessly beside the hall…table; the tears

running down her cheeks。  The appearance of the bonne aroused

her。  Her youngest charge; Geordie; had been feverish for a day

or two; he was better; but still confined to the nursery; and he

had heard Susy unlock the house…door; and could not imagine why

she had not come straight up to him。  He now began to manifest

his indignation in a series of racking howls; and Susy; shaken

out of her trance; dropped her cloak and umbrella and hurried

up。



〃Oh; that child!〃 she groaned。



Under the Fulmer roof there was little time or space for the

indulgence of private sorrows。  From morning till night there

was always some immediate practical demand on one's attention;

and Susy was beginning to see how; in contracted households;

children may play a part less romantic but not less useful than

that assigned to them in fiction; through the mere fact of

giving their parents no leisure to dwell on irremediable

grievances。  Though her own apprenticeship to family life had

been so short; she had already acquired the knack of rapid

mental readjustment; and as she hurried up to the nursery her

private cares were dispelled by a dozen problems of temperature;

diet and medicine。



Such readjustment was of course only momentary; yet each time it

happened it seemed to give her more firmness and flexibility of

temper。  〃What a child I was myself six months ago!〃 she

thought; wondering that Nick's influence; and the tragedy of

their parting; should have done less to mature and steady her

than these few weeks in a house full of children。



Pacifying Geordie was not easy; for he had long since learned to

use his grievances as a pretext for keeping the offender at his

beck with a continuous supply of stories; songs and games。

〃You'd better be careful never to put yourself in the wrong with

Geordie;〃 the astute Junie had warned Susy at the outset;

〃because he's got such a memory; and he won't make it up with

you till you've told him every fairy…tale he's ever heard

before。〃



But on this occasion; as soon as he saw her; Geordie's

indignation melted。  She was still in the doorway; compunctious;

abject and racking her dazed brain for his favourite stories;

when she saw; by the smoothing out of his mouth and the sudden

serenity of his eyes; that he was going to give her the

delicious but not wholly reassuring shock of being a good boy。



Thoughtfully he examined her face as she knelt down beside the

cot; then he poked out a finger and pressed it on her tearful

cheek。



〃Poor Susy got a pain too;〃 he said; putting his arms about her;

and as she hugged him close; he added philosophically: 〃Tell

Geordie a new story; darling; and you'll forget all about it。〃







XXVI



NICK Lansing arrived in Paris two days after his lawyer had

announced his coming to Mr。 Spearman。



He had left Rome with the definite purpose of freeing himself

and Susy; and though he was not pledged to Coral Hicks he had

not concealed from her the object of his journey。  In vain had

he tried to rouse in himself any sense of interest in his own

future。  Beyond the need of reaching a definite point in his

relation to Susy his imagination could not travel。  But he had

been moved by Coral's confession; and his reason told him that

he and she would probably be happy together; with the temperate

happiness based on a community of tastes and an enlargement of

opportunities。  He meant; on his return to Rome; to ask her to

marry him; and he knew that she knew it。  Indeed; if he had not

spoken before leaving it was with no idea of evading his fate;

or keeping her longer in suspense; but simply because of the

strange apathy that had fallen on him since he had received

Susy's letter。  In his incessant self…communings he dressed up

this apathy as a discretion which forbade his engaging Coral's

future till his own was assured。  But in truth he knew that

Coral's future was already engaged; and his with it:  in Rome

the fact had seemed natural and even inevitable。



In Paris; it instantly became the thinnest of unrealities。  Not

because Paris was not Rome; nor because it was Paris; but

because hidden away somewhere in that vast unheeding labyrinth

was the half…forgotten part of himself that was Susy 。。。。  For

weeks; for months past; his mind had been saturated with Susy:

she had never seemed more insistently near him than as their

separation lengthened; and the chance of reunion became less

probable。  It was as if a sickness long smouldering in him had

broken out and become acute; enveloping him in the Nessus…shirt

of his memories。  There were moments when; to his memory; their

actual embraces seemed perfunctory; accidental; compared with

this deep deliberate imprint of her soul on his。



Yet now it had become suddenly different。  Now that he was in

the same place with her; and might at any moment run across her;

meet her eyes; hear her voice; avoid her handnow that

penetrating ghost of her with which he had been living was

sucked back into the shadows; and he seemed; for the first time

since their parting; to be again in her actual presence。  He

woke to the fact on the morning of his arrival; staring down

from his hotel window on a street she would perhaps walk through

that very day; and over a limitless huddle of roofs; one of

which covered her at that hour。  The abruptness of the

transition startled him; he had not known that her mere

geographical nearness would take him by the throat in that way。

What would it be; then; if she were to walk into the room?



Thank heaven that need never happen!  He was sufficiently

informed as to French divorce proceedings to know that they

would not necessitate a confrontation with his wife; and with

ordinary luck; and some precautions; he might escape even a

distant glimpse of her。  He did not mean to remain in Paris more

than a few days; and during that time it would be easyknowing;

as he did; her tastes and Altringham'sto avoid the places

where she was likely to be met。  He did not know where she was

living; but imagined her to be staying with Mrs。 Melrose; or

some other rich friend; or else lodged; in prospective

affluence; at the Nouveau Luxe; or in a pretty flat of her own。

Trust Susyah; the pang of itto 〃manage〃!



His first visit was to his lawyer's; and as he walked through

the familiar streets each approaching face; each distant figure

seemed hers。  The obsession was intolerable。  It would not last;

of course; but meanwhile he had the exposed sense of a fugitive

in a nightmare; who feels himself the only creature visible in a

ghostly and besetting multitude。  The eye of the metropolis

seemed fixed on him in an immense unblinking stare。



At the lawyer's he was told that; as a first step to freedom; he

must secure a domicile in Paris。  He had of course known of this

necessity:  he had seen too many friends through the Divorce

Court; in one country or another; not to be fairly familiar with

the procedure。  But the fact presented a different aspect as

soon as he tried to relate it to himself and Susy:  it was as

though Susy's personality were a medium through which events

still took on a transfiguring colour。  He found the 〃domicile〃

that very day:  a tawdrily furnished rez…de…chaussee; obviously

destined to far different uses。  And as he sat there; after the

concierge had discreetly withdrawn with the first quarter's

payment in her pocket; and stared about him at the vulgar plushy

place; he burst out laughing at what it was about to figure in

the eyes of the law:  a Home; and a Home desecrated by his own

act!  The Home in which he and Susy had reared their precarious

bliss; and seen it crumble at the brutal touch of his

unfaithfulness and his crueltyfor he had been told that he

must be cruel to her as well as unfaithful!  He looked at the

walls hung with sentimental photogravures; at the shiny bronze

〃nudes;〃 the moth…eaten animal…skins and the bedizened bed…and

once more the unreality; the impossibility; of all that was

happening to him entered like a drug into his veins。



To rouse himself he stood up; turned the key on the hideous

place; and returned to his lawyer's。  He knew that in the hard

dry atmosphere of the office the act of giving the address of

the flat would restore some kind of reality to the phantasmal

transaction。  And with w
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