the glimpses of the moon-第44部分

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the　wet　street　with　gold　to　Susy's　door。



Lansing　drew　back　into　the　shadow　as　the　motor　swept　up　to　the

house。　　A　man　jumped　out；　and　the　light　fell　on　Strefford's

shambling　figure；　its　lazy　disjointed　movements　so　unmistakably

the　same　under　his　fur　coat；　and　in　the　new　setting　of

prosperity。



Lansing　stood　motionless；　staring　at　the　door。　　Strefford　rang；

and　waited。　　Would　Susy　appear　again？　　Perhaps　she　had　done　so

before　only　because　she　had　been　on　the　watch　。。。。



But　no：　　after　a　slight　delay　a　bonne　appeared　the　breathless

maid…of…all…work　of　a　busy　householdand　at　once　effaced

herself；　letting　the　visitor　in。　　Lansing　was　sure　that　not　a

word　passed　between　the　two；　of　enquiry　on　Lord　Altringham's

part；　or　of　acquiescence　on　the　servant's。　　There　could　be　no

doubt　that　he　was　expected。



The　door　closed　on　him；　and　a　light　appeared　behind　the　blind　of

the　adjoining　window。　　The　maid　had　shown　the　visitor　into　the

sitting…room　and　lit　the　lamp。　　Upstairs；　meanwhile；　Susy　was　no

doubt　running　skilful　fingers　through　her　tumbled　hair　and

daubing　her　pale　lips　with　red。　　Ah；　how　Lansing　knew　every

movement　of　that　familiar　rite；　even　to　the　pucker　of　the　brow

and　the　pouting　thrust…out　of　the　lower　lip！　　He　was　seized　with

a　sense　of　physical　sickness　as　the　succession　of　remembered

gestures　pressed　upon　his　eyes　。。。。　　And　the　other　man？　　The

other　man；　inside　the　house；　was　perhaps　at　that　very　instant

smiling　over　the　remembrance　of　the　same　scene！



At　the　thought；　Lansing　plunged　away　into　the　night。







XXVII



SUSY　and　Lord　Altringham　sat　in　the　little　drawing…room；　divided

from　each　other　by　a　table　carrying　a　smoky　lamp　and　heaped　with

tattered　school…books。



In　another　half　hour　the　bonne；　despatched　to　fetch　the　children

from　their　classes；　would　be　back　with　her　flock；　and　at　any

moment　Geordie's　imperious　cries　might　summon　his　slave　up　to

the　nursery。　　In　the　scant　time　allotted　them；　the　two　sat；　and

visibly　wondered　what　to　say。



Strefford；　on　entering；　had　glanced　about　the　dreary　room；　with

its　piano　laden　with　tattered　music；　the　children's　toys

littering　the　lame　sofa；　the　bunches　of　dyed　grass　and　impaled

butterflies　flanking　the　cast…bronze　clock。　　Then　he　had　turned

to　Susy　and　asked　simply：　　〃Why　on　earth　are　you　here？〃



She　had　not　tried　to　explain；　from　the　first；　she　had　understood

the　impossibility　of　doing　so。　　And　she　would　not　betray　her

secret　longing　to　return　to　Nick；　now　that　she　knew　that　Nick

had　taken　definite　steps　for　his　release。　　In　dread　lest

Strefford　should　have　heard　of　this；　and　should　announce　it　to

her；　coupling　it　with　the　news　of　Nick's　projected　marriage；　and

lest；　hearing　her　fears　thus　substantiated；　she　should　lose　her

self…control；　she　had　preferred　to　say；　in　a　voice　that　she

tried　to　make　indifferent：　　〃The　'proceedings；'　or　whatever　the

lawyers　call　them；　have　begun。　　While　they're　going　on　I　like　to

stay　quite　by　myself　。。。。　　I　don't　know　why　。。。。〃



Strefford；　at　that；　had　looked　at　her　keenly。　　〃Ah；〃　he

murmured；　and　his　lips　were　twisted　into　their　old　mocking

smile。　　〃Speaking　of　proceedings；〃　he　went　on　carelessly；　〃what

stage　have　Ellie's　reached；　I　wonder？　　I　saw　her　and　Vanderlyn

and　Bockheimer　all　lunching　cheerfully　together　to…day　at

Larue's。〃



The　blood　rushed　to　Susy's　forehead。　　She　remembered　her　tragic

evening　with　Nelson　Vanderlyn；　only　two　months　earlier；　and

thought　to　herself。　　〃In　time；　then；　I　suppose；　Nick　and　I　。。。。



Aloud　she　said：　　〃I　can't　imagine　how　Nelson　and　Ellie　can　ever

want　to　see　each　other　again。　　And　in　a　restaurant；　of　all

places！〃



Strefford　continued　to　smile。　　〃My　dear；　you're　incorrigibly

old…fashioned。　　Why　should　two　people　who've　done　each　other　the

best　turn　they　could　by　getting　out　of　each　other's　way　at　the

right　moment　behave　like　sworn　enemies　ever　afterward？　　It's　too

absurd；　the　humbug's　too　flagrant。　　Whatever　our　generation　has

failed　to　do；　it's　got　rid　of　humbug；　and　that's　enough　to

immortalize　it。　　I　daresay　Nelson　and　Ellie　never　liked　each

other　better　than　they　do　to…day。　　Twenty　years　ago；　they'd　have

been　afraid　to　confess　it；　but　why　shouldn't　they　now？〃



Susy　looked　at　Strefford；　conscious　that　under　his　words　was　the

ache　of　the　disappointment　she　had　caused　him；　and　yet　conscious

also　that　that　very　ache　was　not　the　overwhelming　penetrating

emotion　he　perhaps　wished　it　to　be；　but　a　pang　on　a　par　with　a

dozen　others；　and　that　even　while　he　felt　it　he　foresaw　the　day

when　he　should　cease　to　feel　it。　　And　she　thought　to　herself

that　this　certainty　of　oblivion　must　be　bitterer　than　any

certainty　of　pain。



A　silence　had　fallen　between　them。　　He　broke　it　by　rising　from

his　seat；　and　saying　with　a　shrug：　　〃You'll　end　by　driving　me　to

marry　Joan　Senechal。〃



Susy　smiled。　　〃Well；　why　not？　　She's　lovely。〃



〃Yes；　but　she'll　bore　me。〃



〃Poor　Streff！　　So　should　I〃



〃Perhaps。　　But　nothing　like　as　soon〃　He　grinned　sardonically。

〃There'd　be　more　margin。〃　　He　appeared　to　wait　for　her　to　speak。

〃And　what　else　on　earth　are　you　going　to　do？〃　he　concluded；　as

she　still　remained　silent。



〃Oh；　Streff；　I　couldn't　marry　you　for　a　reason　like　that！〃　she

murmured　at　length。



〃Then　marry　me；　and　find　your　reason　afterward。〃



Her　lips　made　a　movement　of　denial；　and　still　in　silence　she

held　out　her　hand　for　good…bye。　　He　clasped　it；　and　then　turned

away；　but　on　the　threshold　he　paused；　his　screwed…up　eyes　fixed

on　her　wistfully。



The　look　moved　her；　and　she　added　hurriedly：　　〃The　only　reason　I

can　find　is　one　for　not　marrying　you。　　It's　because　I　can't　yet

feel　unmarried　enough。〃



〃Unmarried　enough？　　But　I　thought　Nick　was　doing　his　best　to

make　you　feel　that。〃



〃Yes。　　But　even　when　he　hassometimes　I　think　even　that　won't

make　any　difference。〃



He　still　scrutinized　her　hesitatingly；　with　the　gravest　eyes　she

had　ever　seen　in　his　careless　face。



〃My　dear；　that's　rather　the　way　I　feel　about　you；〃　he　said

simply　as　he　turned　to　go。



That　evening　after　the　children　had　gone　to　bed　Susy　sat　up　late

in　the　cheerless　sitting…room。　　She　was　not　thinking　of

Strefford　but　of　Nick。　　He　was　coming　to　Parisperhaps　he　had

already　arrived。　　The　idea　that　he　might　be　in　the　same　place

with　her　at　that　very　moment；　and　without　her　knowing　it；　was　so

strange　and　painful　that　she　felt　a　violent　revolt　of　all　her

strong　and　joy…loving　youth。　　Why　should　she　go　on　suffering　so

unbearably；　so　abjectly；　so　miserably？　　If　only　she　could　see

him；　hear　his　voice；　even　hear　him　say　again　such　cruel　and

humiliating　words　as　he　had　spoken　on　that　dreadful　day　in

Venice　when　that　would　be　better　than　this　blankness；　this　utter

and　final　exclusion　from　his　life！　　He　had　been　cruel　to　her；

unimaginably　cruel：　　hard；　arrogant；　unjust；　and　had　been　so；

perhaps；　deliberately；　because　he　already　wanted　to　be　free。

But　she　was　ready　to　face　even　that　possibility；　to　humble

herself　still　farther　than　he　had　humbled　hershe　was　ready　to

do　anything；　if　only　she　might　see　him　once　again。



She　leaned　her　aching　head　on　her　hands　and　pondered。　　Do

anything？　　But　what　could　she　do？　　Nothing　that　should　hurt　him；

interfere　with　his　liberty；　be　false　to　the　spirit　of　their

pact：　　on　that　she　was　more　than　ever　resolved。　　She　had　made　a

bargain；　and　she　meant　to　stick　to　it；　not　for　any　abstract

reason；　but　simply　because　she　happened　to　love　him　in　that　way。

Yesbut　to　see　him　again；　only　once！



Suddenly　she　remembered　what　Strefford　had　said　about　Nelson

Vanderlyn　and　his　wife。　　〃Why　should　two　people　who've　just　done

each　other　the　best　turn　they　could　behave　like　sworn　enemies

ever　after？〃　　If　in　offering　Nick　his　freedom　she　had　indeed

done　him　such　a　service　as　that；　perhaps　he　no　longer　hated　her；

would　no　longer　be　unwilling　to　see　her　。。。。　　At　any　rate；　why

should　she　not　write　to　him　on　that　assumption；　write　in　a

spirit　of　simple　friendliness；　suggesting　that　they　should　meet

and　〃settle　things〃？　　The　business…like　word　〃settle〃　（how　she

hated　it）　would　prove　to　him　that　she　had　no　secret　designs　upon

his　liberty；　and　besides　he　was　too　unprejudiced；　too　modern；

too　free　from　what　Strefford　called　humbug；　not　to　understand

and　accept　such　a　suggestion。　　After　all；　perhaps　Strefford　was

right；　it　was　something　to　have　rid　human　relations　of

hypocrisy；　even　if；　in　the　process；　so　many　exquisite　things

seemed　somehow　to　have　been　torn　away　with　it　。。。。



She　ran　up　to　her　room；　scribbled　a　note；　and　hurried　with　it

through　the　rain　and　darkness　to　the　post…box　at　the　corner。　　As

she　returned　through　the　empty　street　she　had　an　odd　feeling

that　it　was　not　emptythat　perhaps　Nick　was　already　there；

somewhere　near　her　in　the　night；　about　to　follow　her　to　the

door；　enter　the　house；　go　up　with　her　to　her　bedroom　in　the　old

way。　　It　was　strange　how　close　he　had　been　brought　by　the　mere

fact　of　her　having　written　that　little　note　to　him！



In　the　bedroom；　Geordie　lay　in　his　crib　in　ruddy　slumber；　and

she　blew　out　the　candle　and　undressed　softly　for　fear　of　waking

him。



Nick　Lansing；　the　next　day；　received　Susy's　letter；　transmitted

to　his　hotel　from　the　lawyer's　office。



He　read　it　carefully；　two　or　three　times　over；　weighing　and

scrutinizing　the　guarded　words。　　She　proposed　that　they　should

meet　to　〃settle　things。〃　　What　things？　　And　why　should　he　accede

to　such　a　request？　　What　secret　purpose　had　prompted　her？　　It

was　horrible　that　nowadays；　in　thinking　of　Susy；　he　should

always　suspect　ulterior　motives；　be　meanly　on　the　watch　for　some

hidden　tortuousness。　　What　on　earth　was　she　trying　to　〃manage〃

now；　he　wondered。



A　few　hours　ago；　at　the　sight　of　her；　all　his　hardness　had

melted；　and　he　had　charged　himself　with　cruelty；　with　injustice；

with　every　sin　of　pride　against　himse