the glimpses of the moon-第6部分

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trivial　it　now　seemed！showed　her　the　kind　of　stand　he　would

take；　and　communicated　to　her　something　of　his　own

uncompromising　energy。　　She　would　tell　him　the　whole　story　in

the　morning；　and　try　to　find　a　way　out　with　him：　　Susy's　faith

in　her　power　of　finding　a　way　out　was　inexhaustible。　　But

suddenly　she　remembered　the　adjuration　at　the　end　of　Mrs。

Vanderlyn's　letter：　　〃If　you're　ever　owed　me　anything　in　the　way

of　kindness；　you　won't；　on　your　sacred　honour；　say　a　word　to

Nick　。。。。〃



It　was；　of　course；　exactly　what　no　one　had　the　right　to　ask　of

her：　　if　indeed　the　word　〃right〃；　could　be　used　in　any

conceivable　relation　to　this　coil　of　wrongs。　　But　the　fact

remained　that；　in　the　way　of　kindness；　she　did　owe　much　to

Ellie；　and　that　this　was　the　first　payment　her　friend　had　ever

exacted。　　She　found　herself；　in　fact；　in　exactly　the　same

position　as　when　Ursula　Gillow；　using　the　same　argument；　had

appealed　to　her　to　give　up　Nick　Lansing。　　Yes；　Susy　reflected；

but　then　Nelson　Vanderlyn　had　been　kind　to　her　too；　and　the

money　Ellie　had　been　so　kind　with　was　Nelson's　。。。。　　The　queer

edifice　of　Susy's　standards　tottered　on　its　base　she　honestly

didn't　know　where　fairness　lay；　as　between　so　much　that　was　

foul。



The　very　depth　of　her　perplexity　puzzled　her。　　She　had　been　in

〃tight　places〃　before；　had　indeed　been　in　so　few　that　were　not；

in　one　way　or　another；　constricting！　　As　she　looked　back　on　her

past　it　lay　before　her　as　a　very　network　of　perpetual

concessions　and　contrivings。　　But　never　before　had　she　had　such

a　sense　of　being　tripped　up；　gagged　and　pinioned。　　The　little

misery　of　the　cigars　still　galled　her；　and　now　this　big

humiliation　superposed　itself　on　the　raw　wound。　　Decidedly；　the

second　month　of　their　honey…moon　was　beginning　cloudily　。。。。



She　glanced　at　the　enamel　led　travelling…clock　on　her　dressing

tableone　of　the　few　wedding…presents　she　had　consented　to

accept　in　kindand　was　startled　at　the　lateness　of　the　hour。

In　a　moment　Nick　would　be　coming；　and　an　uncomfortable　sensation

in　her　throat　warned　her　that　through　sheer　nervousness　and

exasperation　she　might　blurt　out　something　ill…advised。　　The　old

habit　of　being　always　on　her　guard　made　her　turn　once　more　to

the　looking…glass。　　Her　face　was　pale　and　haggard；　and　having；

by　a　swift　and　skilful　application　of　cosmetics；　increased　its

appearance　of　fatigue；　she　crossed　the　room　and　softly　opened

her　husband's　door。



He　too　sat　by　a　lamp；　reading　a　letter　which　he　put　aside　as　she

entered。　　His　face　was　grave；　and　she　said　to　herself　that　he

was　certainly　still　thinking　about　the　cigars。



〃I'm　very　tired；　dearest；　and　my　head　aches　so　horribly　that

I've　come　to　bid　you　good…night。〃　　Bending　over　the　back　of　his

chair；　she　laid　her　arms　on　his　shoulders。　　He　lifted　his　hands

to　clasp　hers；　but；　as　he　threw　his　head　back　to　smile　up　at　her

she　noticed　that　his　look　was　still　serious；　almost　remote。　　It

was　as　if；　for　the　first　time；　a　faint　veil　hung　between　his

eyes　and　hers。



〃I'm　so　sorry：　　it's　been　a　long　day　for　you；〃　he　said　absently；

pressing　his　lips　to　her　hands



She　felt　the　dreaded　twitch　in　her　throat。



〃Nick！〃　she　burst　out；　tightening　her　embrace；　〃before　I　go；

you've　got　to　swear　to　me　on　your　honour　that　you　know　I　should

never　have　taken　those　cigars　for　myself！〃



For　a　moment　he　stared　at　her；　and　she　stared　back　at　him　with

equal　gravity；　then　the　same　irresistible　mirth　welled　up　in

both；　and　Susy's　compunctions　were　swept　away　on　a　gale　of

laughter。



When　she　woke　the　next　morning　the　sun　was　pouring　in　between

her　curtains　of　old　brocade；　and　its　refraction　from　the　ripples

of　the　Canal　was　drawing　a　network　of　golden　scales　across　the

vaulted　ceiling。　　The　maid　had　just　placed　a　tray　on　a　slim

marquetry　table　near　the　bed；　and　over　the　edge　of　the　tray　Susy

discovered　the　small　serious　face　of　Clarissa　Vanderlyn。　　At　the

sight　of　the　little　girl　all　her　dormant　qualms　awoke。



Clarissa　was　just　eight；　and　small　for　her　age：　　her　little

round　chin　was　barely　on　a　level　with　the　tea…service；　and　her

clear　brown　eyes　gazed　at　Susy　between　the　ribs　of　the　toast…

rack　and　the　single　tea…rose　in　an　old　Murano　glass。　　Susy　had

not　seen　her　for　two　years；　and　she　seemed；　in　the　interval；　to

have　passed　from　a　thoughtful　infancy　to　complete　ripeness　of

feminine　experience。　　She　was　looking　with　approval　at　her

mother's　guest。



〃I'm　so　glad　you've　come；〃　she　said　in　a　small　sweet　voice。　　〃I

like　you　so　very　much。　　I　know　I'm　not　to　be　often　with　you；　but

at　least　you'll　have　an　eye　on　me；　won't　you？〃



〃An　eye　on　you！　　I　shall　never　want　to　have　it　off　you；　if　you

say　such　nice　things　to　me！〃　　Susy　laughed；　leaning　from　her

pillows　to　draw　the　little　girl　up　to　her　side。



Clarissa　smiled　and　settled　herself　down　comfortably　on　the

silken　bedspread。　　〃Oh；　I　know　I'm　not　to　be　always　about；

because　you're　just　married；　but　could　you　see　to　it　that　I　have

my　meals　regularly？〃



〃Why；　you　poor　darling！　　Don't　you　always？〃



〃Not　when　mother's　away　on　these　cures。　　The　servants　don't

always　obey　me：　　you　see　I'm　so　little　for　my　age。　　In　a　few

years；　of　course；　they'll　have　toeven　if　I　don't　grow　much；〃

she　added　judiciously。　　She　put　out　her　hand　and　touched　the

string　of　pearls　about　Susy's　throat。　　〃They're　small；　but

they're　very　good。　　I　suppose　you　don't　take　the　others　when　you

travel？〃



〃The　others？　　Bless　you！　　I　haven't　any　othersand　never　shall

have；　probably。〃



〃No　other　pearls？〃



〃No　other　jewels　at　all。〃



Clarissa　stared。　　〃Is　that　really　true？〃　　she　asked；　as　if　in

the　presence　of　the　unprecedented。



〃Awfully　true；〃　Susy　confessed。　　〃But　I　think　I　can　make　the

servants　obey　me　all　the　same。〃



This　point　seemed　to　have　lost　its　interest　for　Clarissa；　who

was　still　gravely　scrutinizing　her　companion。　　After　a　while　she

brought　forth　another　question。



〃Did　you　have　to　give　up　all　your　jewels　when　you　were

divorced？〃



〃Divorced？〃　　Susy　threw　her　head　back　against　the　pillows　and

laughed。　　〃Why；　what　are　you　thinking　of？　　　Don't　you　remember

that　I　wasn't　even　married　the　last　time　you　saw　me？〃



〃Yes；　I　do。　　But　that　was　two　years　ago。〃　　The　little　girl　wound

her　arms　about　Susy's　neck　and　leaned　against　her　caressingly。

〃Are　you　going　to　be　soon；　then？　I'll　promise　not　to　tell　if　you

don't　want　me　to。〃



〃Going　to　be　divorced？　　Of　course　not！　　What　in　the　world　made

you　think　so？　〃



〃Because　you　look　so　awfully　happy；〃　said　Clarissa　Vanderlyn

simply。







V。



IT　was　a　trifling　enough　sign；　but　it　had　remained　in　Susy's

mind：　　that　first　morning　in　Venice　Nick　had　gone　out　without

first　coming　in　to　see　her。　　She　had　stayed　in　bed　late；

chatting　with　Clarissa；　and　expecting　to　see　the　door　open　and

her　husband　appear；　and　when　the　child　left；　and　she　had　jumped

up　and　looked　into　Nick's　room；　she　found　it　empty；　and　a　line

on　his　dressing　table　informed　her　that　he　had　gone　out　to　send

a　telegram。



It　was　lover…like；　and　even　boyish；　of　him　to　think　it　necessary

to　explain　his　absence；　but　why　had　he　not　simply　come　in　and

told　her！　　She　instinctively　connected　the　little　fact　with　the

shade　of　preoccupation　she　had　noticed　on　his　face　the　night

before；　when　she　had　gone　to　his　room　and　found　him　absorbed　in

letter；　and　while　she　dressed　she　had　continued　to　wonder　what

was　in　the　letter；　and　whether　the　telegram　he　had　hurried　out

to　send　was　an　answer　to　it。



She　had　never　found　out。　　When　he　reappeared；　handsome　and　happy

as　the　morning；　he　proffered　no　explanation；　and　it　was　part　of

her　life…long　policy　not　to　put　uncalled…for　questions。　　It　was

not　only　that　her　jealous　regard　for　her　own　freedom　was　matched

by　an　equal　respect　for　that　of　others；　she　had　steered　too　long

among　the　social　reefs　and　shoals　not　to　know　how　narrow　is　the

passage　that　leads　to　peace　of　mind；　and　she　was　determined　to

keep　her　little　craft　in　mid…channel。　　But　the　incident　had

lodged　itself　in　her　memory；　acquiring　a　sort　of　symbolic

significance；　as　of　a　turning…point　in　her　relations　with　her

husband。　　Not　that　these　were　less　happy；　but　that　she　now

beheld　them；　as　she　had　always　formerly　beheld　such　joys；　as　an

unstable　islet　in　a　sea　of　storms。　　Her　present　bliss　was　as

complete　as　ever；　but　it　was　ringed　by　the　perpetual　menace　of

all　she　knew　she　was　hiding　from　Nick；　and　of　all　she　suspected

him　of　hiding　from　her　。。。。



She　was　thinking　of　these　things　one　afternoon　about　three　weeks

after　their　arrival　in　Venice。　　It　was　near　sunset；　and　she　sat

alone　on　the　balcony；　watching　the　cross…lights　on　the　water

weave　their　pattern　above　the　flushed　reflection　of　old

palace…basements。　　She　was　almost　always　alone　at　that　hour。

Nick　had　taken　to　writing　in　the　afternoonshe　had　been　as　good

as　his　word；　and　so；　apparently；　had　the　Muse　and　it　was　his

habit　to　join　his　wife　only　at　sunset；　for　a　late　row　on　the

lagoon。　　She　had　taken　Clarissa；　as　usual；　to　the　Giardino

Pubblico；　where　that　obliging　child　had　politely　but

indifferently　〃played〃Clarissa　joined　in　the　diversions　of　her

age　as　if　conforming　to　an　obsolete　traditionand　had　brought

her　back　for　a　music　lesson；　echoes　of　which　now　drifted　down

from　a　distant　window。



Susy　had　come　to　be　extremely　thankful　for　　Clarissa。　　But　for

the　little　girl；　her　pride　in　her　　husband's　industry　might　have

been　tinged　with　a　　faint　sense　of　being　at　times　left　out　and

forgotten；　　and　as　Nick's　industry　was　the　completest

justification　for　their　being　where　they　were；　and　for　her

having　done　what　she　had；　she　was　grateful　　to　Clarissa　for

helping　her　to　feel　less　alone。　　Clarissa；　indeed；　represented

the　other　half　of　her　　justification：　　it　was　as　much　on　the

child's　account　as　on　Nick's　that　Susy　had　held　her　tongue；

remai