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from this world to the next-第14部分
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uneasiness; and my nights were restless and sleepless。 The story
of our amour was now pretty public; and the ladies talked of our
match as certain; but my acquaintance denied their assent;
saying; 'No; no; he is too wise to marry so imprudently。' This
their opinion gave me; I own; very great pleasure; but; to say
the truth; scarce compensated the pangs I suffered to preserve
it。
〃One day; while I was balancing with myself; and had almost
resolved to enjoy my happiness at the price of my character; a
friend brought me word that Ariadne was married。 This news
struck me to the soul; and though I had resolution enough to
maintain my gravity before him (for which I suffered not a little
the more); the moment I was alone I threw myself into the most
violent fit of despair; and would willingly have parted with
wisdom; fortune; and everything else; to have retrieved her; but
that was impossible; and I had now nothing but time to hope a
cure from。 This was very tedious in performing it; and the
longer as Ariadne had married a Roman cavalier; was now become my
near neighbor; and I had the mortification of seeing her make the
best of wives; and of having the happiness which I had lost;
every day before my eyes。
〃If I suffered so much on account of my wisdom in having refused
Ariadne; I was not much more obliged to it for procuring me a
rich widow; who was recommended to me by an old friend as a very
prudent match; and; indeed; so it was; her fortune being superior
to mine in the same proportion as that of Ariadne had been
inferior。 I therefore embraced this proposal; and my character
of wisdom soon pleaded so effectually for me with the widow; who
was herself a woman of great gravity and discretion; that I soon
succeeded; and as soon as decency would permit (of which this
lady was the strictest observer) we were married; being the
second day of the second week of the second year after her
husband's death; for she said she thought some period of time
above the year had a great air of decorum。
〃But; prudent as this lady was; she made me miserable。 Her
person was far from being lovely; but her temper was intolerable。
During fifteen years' habitation; I never passed a single day
without heartily cursing her; and the hour in which we came
together。 The only comfort I received; in the midst of the
highest torments; was from continually hearing the prudence of my
match commended by all my acquaintance。
〃Thus you see; in the affairs of love; I bought the reputation of
wisdom pretty dear。 In other matters I had it somewhat cheaper;
not that hypocrisy; which was the price I gave for it; gives one
no pain。 I have refused myself a thousand little amusements with
a feigned contempt; while I have really had an inclination to
them。 I have often almost choked myself to restrain from
laughing at a jest; and (which was perhaps to myself the least
hurtful of all my hypocrisy) have heartily enjoyed a book in my
closet which I have spoken with detestation of in public。 To sum
up my history in short; as I had few adventures worth
remembering; my whole life was one constant lie; and happy would
it have been for me if I could as thoroughly have imposed on
myself as I did on others: for reflection; at every turn; would
often remind me I was not so wise as people thought me; and this
considerably embittered the pleasure I received from the public
commendation of my wisdom。 This self…admonition; like a memento
mori or mortalis es; must be; in my opinion; a very dangerous
enemy to flattery: indeed; a weight sufficient to counterbalance
all the false praise of the world。 But whether it be that the
generality of wise men do not reflect at all; or whether they
have; from a constant imposition on others; contracted such a
habit of deceit as to deceive themselves; I will not determine:
it is; I believe; most certain that very few wise men know
themselves what fools they are; more than the world doth。 Good
gods! could one but see what passes in the closet of wisdom! how
ridiculous a sight must it be to behold the wise man; who
despises gratifying his palate; devouring custard; the sober wise
man with his dram…bottle; or; the anti…carnalist (if I may be
allowed the expression) chuckling over a bdy book or picture;
and perhaps caressing his house…maid!
〃But to conclude a character in which I apprehend I made as
absurd a figure as in any in which I trod the stage of earth; my
wisdom at last but an end to itself; that is; occasioned my
dissolution。
〃A relation of mine in the eastern part of the empire
disinherited his son; and left me his heir。 This happened in the
depth of winter; when I was in my grand climacteric; and had just
recovered of a dangerous disease。 As I had all the reason
imaginable to apprehend the family of the deceased would conspire
against me; and embezzle as much as they could; I advised with a
grave and wise friend what was proper to be done; whether I
should go myself; or employ a notary on this occasion; and defer
my journey to the spring。 To say the truth; I was most inclined
to the latter; the rather as my circumstances were extremely
flourishing; as I was advanced in years; and had not one person
in the world to whom I should with pleasure bequeath any fortune
at my death。
〃My friend told me he thought my question admitted of no manner
of doubt or debate; that common prudence absolutely required my
immediate departure; adding; that if the same good luck had
happened to him he would have been already on his journey; 'for;'
continued he; 'a man who knows the world so well as you; would be
inexcusable to give persons such an opportunity of cheating you;
who; you must be assured; will be too well inclined; and as for
employing a notary; remember that excellent maxim; Ne facias per
alium; quod fieri potest per te。 I own the badness of the season
and your very late recovery are unlucky circumstances; but a wise
man must get over difficulties when necessity obliges him to
encounter them。'
〃I was immediately determined by this opinion。 The duty of a
wise man made an irresistible impression; and I took the
necessity for granted without examination。 I accordingly set
forward the next morning; very tempestuous weather soon overtook
me; I had not traveled three days before I relapsed into my
fever; and died。
〃I was now as cruelly disappointed by Minos as I had formerly
been happily so。 I advanced with the utmost confidence to the
gate; and really imagined I should have been admitted by the
wisdom of my countenance; even without any questions asked: but
this was not my case; and; to my great surprise; Minos; with a
menacing voice; called out to me; 'You Mr。 there; with the grave
countenance; whither so fast; pray? Will you please; before you
move any farther forwards; to give me a short account of your
transactions below?' I then began; and recounted to him my whole
history; still expecting at the end of every period that the gate
would be ordered to fly open; but I was obliged to go quite
through with it; and then Minos after some little consideration
spoke to me as follows:
〃 'You; Mr。 Wiseman; stand forth if you please。 Believe me; sir;
a trip back again to earth will be one of the wisest steps you
ever took; and really more to the honor of your wisdom than any
you have hitherto taken。 On the other side; nothing could be
simpler than to endeavor at Elysium; for who but a fool would
carry a commodity; which is of such infinite value in one place;
into another where it is of none? But; without attempting to
offend your gravity with a jest; you must return to the place
from whence you came; for Elysium was never designed for those
who are too wise to be happy。'
〃This sentence confounded me greatly; especially as it seemed to
threaten me with carrying my wisdom back again to earth。 I told
the judge; though he would not admit me at the gate; I hoped I
had committed no crime while alive which merited my being wise
any longer。 He answered me; I must take my chance as to that
matter; and immediately we turned our backs to each other。〃
CHAPTER XVII
Julian enters into the person of a king。
〃I was now born at Oviedo in Spain。 My father's name was
Veremond; and I was adopted by my uncle king Alphonso the chaste。
I don't recollect in all the pilgrimages I have made on earth
that I ever passed a more miserable infancy than now; being under
the utmost confinement and restraint; and surrounded with
physicians who were ever dosing me; and tutors who were
continually plaguing me with their instructions; even those hours
of leisure which my inclination would have spent in play were
allotted to tedious pomp and ceremony; which; at an age wherein I
had no ambition to enjoy the servility of courtiers; enslaved me
more than it could the meanest of them。 However; as I advanced
towards manhood; my condition made me some amends; for the most
beautiful women of their own accord threw out lures for me; and I
had the happiness; which no man in an inferior degree can arrive
at; of enjoying the most delicious creatures; without the
previous and tiresome ceremonies of courtship; unless with the
most simple; young and unexperienced。 As for the court ladies;
they regarded me rather as men do the most lovely of the other
sex; and; though they outwardly retained some appearance of
modesty; they in reality rather considered themselves as
receiving than conferring favors。
〃Another happiness I enjoyed was in conferring favors of another
sort; for; as I was extremely good…natured and generous; so I had
daily opportunities of satisfying those passions。 Besides my own
princely allowance; which was very bountiful; and with which I
did many liberal and good actions; I recommended numberless
persons of merit in distress to t
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