from this world to the next-第3部分

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To　return　therefore　to　matters　comprehensible　by　all

understandings：　　the　discourse　now　turned　on　the　vanity；　folly；

and　misery　of　the　lower　world；　from　which　every　passenger　in　the

coach　expressed　the　highest　satisfaction　in　being　delivered；

though　it　was　very　remarkable　that；　notwithstanding　the　joy　we

declared　at　our　death；　there　was　not　one　of　us　who　did　not

mention　the　accident　which　occasioned　it　as　a　thing　we　would　have

avoided　if　we　could。　　Nay；　the　very　grave　lady　herself；　who　was

the　forwardest　in　testifying　her　delight；　confessed　inadvertently

that　she　left　a　physician　by　her　bedside；　and　the　gentleman　who

died　of　honor　very　liberally　cursed　both　his　folly　and　his

fencing。　　While　we　were　entertaining　ourselves　with　these

matters；　on　a　sudden　a　most　offensive　smell　began　to　invade　our

nostrils。　　This　very　much　resembled　the　savor　which　travelers　in

summer　perceive　at　their　approach　to　that　beautiful　village　of

the　Hague；　arising　from　those　delicious　canals　which；　as　they

consist　of　standing　water；　do　at　that　time　emit　odors　greatly

agreeable　to　a　Dutch　taste；　but　not　so　pleasant　to　any　other。　

Those　perfumes；　with　the　assistance　of　a　fair　wind；　begin　to

affect　persons　of　quick　olfactory　nerves　at　a　league's　distance；

and　increase　gradually　as　you　approach。　　In　the　same　manner　did

the　smell　I　have　just　mentioned；　more　and　more　invade　us；　till

one　of　the　spirits；　looking　out　of　the　coach…window；　declared　we

were　just　arrived　at　a　very　large　city；　and　indeed　he　had　scarce

said　so　before　we　found　ourselves　in　the　suburbs；　and；　at　the

same　time；　the　coachman；　being　asked　by　another；　informed　us　that

the　name　of　this　place　was　the　City　of　Diseases。　　The　road　to　it

was　extremely　smooth；　and；　excepting　the　above…mentioned　savor；

delightfully　pleasant。　　The　streets　of　the　suburbs　were　lined

with　bagnios；　taverns；　and　cooks'　shops：　　in　the　first　we　saw

several　beautiful　women；　but　in　tawdry　dresses；　looking　out　at

the　windows；　and　in　the　latter　were　visibly　exposed　all　kinds　of

the　richest　dainties；　but　on　our　entering　the　city　we　found；

contrary　to　all　we　had　seen　in　the　other　world；　that　the　suburbs

were　infinitely　pleasanter　than　the　city　itself。　　It　was　indeed　a

very　dull；　dark；　and　melancholy　place。　　Few　people　appeared　in

the　streets；　and　these；　for　the　most　part；　were　old　women；　and

here　and　there　a　formal　grave　gentleman；　who　seemed

to　be　thinking；　with　large　tie…wigs　on；　and　amber…headed　canes　in

their　hands。　　We　were　all　in　hopes　that　our　vehicle　would　not

stop　here；　but；　to　our　sorrow；　the　coach　soon　drove　into　an　inn；

and　we　were　obliged　to　alight。





CHAPTER　III　



The　adventures　we　met　with　in　the　City　of　Diseases。　　



We　had　not　been　long　arrived　in　our　inn；　where　it　seems　we　were

to　spend　the　remainder　of　the　day；　before　our　host　acquainted　us

that　it　was　customary　for　all　spirits；　in　their　passage　through

that　city；　to　pay　their　respects　to　that　lady　Disease；　to　whose

assistance　they　had　owed　their　deliverance　from　the　lower　world。　

We　answered　we　should　not　fail　in　any　complacence　which　was　usual

to　others；　upon　which　our　host　replied　he　would　immediately　send

porters　to　conduct　us。　　He　had　not　long　quitted　the　room　before

we　were　attended　by　some　of　those　grave　persons　whom　I　have

before　described　in　large　tie…wigs　with　amber…headed　canes。　

These　gentlemen　are　the　ticket…porters　in　the　city；　and　their

canes　are　the　insignia；　or　tickets；　denoting　their　office。　　We

informed　them　of　the　several　ladies　to　whom　we　were　obliged；　and

were　preparing　to　follow　them；　when　on　a　sudden　they　all　stared

at　one　another；　and　left　us　in　a　hurry；　with　a　frown　on　every

countenance。　　We　were　surprised　at　this　behavior；　and　presently

summoned　the　host；　who　was　no　sooner　acquainted　with　it　than　he

burst　into　an　hearty　laugh；　and　told　us　the　reason　was；　because

we　did　not　fee　the　gentlemen　the　moment　they　came　in；　according

to　the　custom　of　the　place。　　We　answered；　with　some　confusion；　we

had　brought　nothing　with　us　from　the　other　world；　which　we　had

been　all　our　lives　informed　was　not　lawful　to　do。　　〃No；　no；

master；〃　replied　the　host；　〃I　am　apprised　of　that；　and　indeed　it

was　my　fault。　　I　should　have　first　sent　you　to　my　lord　Scrape；＇7＇

who　would　have　supplied　you　with　what　you　want。〃　　〃My　lord　Scrape

supply　us！〃　said　I；　with　astonishment：　　〃sure　you　must　know　we

cannot　give　him　security；　and　I　am　convinced　he　never　lent　a

shilling　without　it　in　his　life。〃　　〃No；　sir；〃　answered　the　host；

〃and　for　that　reason　he　is　obliged　to　do　it　here；　where　he　is

sentenced　to　keep　a　bank；　and　to　distribute　money　gratis　to　all

passengers。　　This　bank　originally　consisted　of　just　that　sum；

which　he　had　miserably　hoarded　up　in　the　other　world；　and　he　is

to　perceive　it　decrease　visibly　one　shilling　a…day；　till　it　is

totally　exhausted；　after　which　he　is　to　return　to　the　other

world；　and　perform　the　part　of　a　miser　for　seventy　years；　then；

being　purified　in　the　body　of　a　hog；　he　is　to　enter　the　human

species　again；　and　take　a　second　trial。〃　　〃Sir；〃　said　I；　〃you

tell　me　wonders：　　but　if　his　bank　be　to　decrease　only　a　shilling

a　day；　how　can　he　furnish　all　passengers？〃　　〃The　rest；〃　answered

the　host；　〃is　supplied　again；　but　in　a　manner　which　I　cannot

easily　explain　to　you。〃　　〃I　apprehend；〃　said　I；　〃this

distribution　of　his　money　is　inflicted　on　him　as　a　punishment；

but　I　do　not　see　how　it　can　answer　that　end；　when　he　knows　it　is

to　be　restored　to　him　again。　　Would　it　not　serve　the　purpose　as

well　if　he　parted　only　with　the　single　shilling；　which　it　seems

is　all　he　is　really　to　lose？〃　　〃Sir；〃　cries　the　host；　〃when　you

observe　the　agonies　with　which　he　parts　with　every　guinea；　you

will　be　of　another　opinion。　　No　prisoner　condemned　to　death　ever

begged　so　heartily　for　transportation　as　he；　when　he　received　his

sentence；　did　to　go　to　hell；　provided　he　might　carry　his　money

with　him。　　But　you　will　know　more　of　these　things　when　you　arrive

at　the　upper　world；　and　now；　if　you　please；　I　will　attend　you　to

my　lord's；　who　is　obliged　to　supply　you　with　whatever　you

desire。〃



＇7＇　That　we　may　mention　it　once　for　all；　in　the　panegyrical　part

of　this　work　some　particular　person　is　always　meant：　　but；　in　the

satirical；　nobody。





We　found　his　lordship　sitting　at　the　upper　end　of　a　table；　on

which　was　an　immense　sum　of　money；　disposed　in　several　heaps；

every　one　of　which　would　have　purchased　the　honor　of　some

patriots　and　the　chastity　of　some　prudes。　　The　moment　he　saw　us

he　turned　pale；　and　sighed；　as　well　apprehending　our　business。　

Mine　host　accosted　him　with　a　familiar　air；　which　at　first

surprised　me；　who　so　well　remembered　the　respect　I　had　formerly

seen　paid　this　lord　by　men　infinitely　superior　in　quality　to　the

person　who　now　saluted　him　in　the　following　manner：　　〃Here；　you

lord；　and　be　damd　to　your　little　sneaking　soul；　tell　out　your

money；　and　supply　your　betters　with　what　they　want。　　Be　quick；

sirrah；　or　I'll　fetch　the　beadle　to　you。　　Don't　fancy　yourself　in

the　lower　world　again；　with　your　privilege　at　your　a。〃　　He　then

shook　a　cane　at　his　lordship；　who　immediately　began　to　tell　out

his　money；　with　the　same　miserable　air　and　face　which　the　miser

on　our　stage　wears　while　he　delivers　his　bank…bills。　　This

affected　some　of　us　so　much　that　we　had　certainly　returned　with

no　more　than　what　would　have　been　sufficient　to　fee　the　porters；

had　not　our　host；　perceiving　our　compassion；　begged　us　not　to

spare　a　fellow　who；　in　the　midst　of　immense　wealth；　had　always

refused　the　least　contribution　to　charity。　　Our　hearts　were

hardened　with　this　reflection；　and　we　all　filled　our　pockets　with

his　money。　　I　remarked　a　poetical　spirit；　in　particular；　who

swore　he　would　have　a　hearty　gripe　at　him：　　〃For；〃　says　he；　〃the

rascal　not　only　refused　to　subscribe　to　my　works；　but　sent　back

my　letter　unanswered；　though　I　am　a　better　gentleman　than

himself。〃　　We　now　returned　from　this　miserable　object；　greatly

admiring　the　propriety　as　well　as　justice　of　his　punishment；

which　consisted；　as　our　host　informed　us；　merely　in　the

delivering　forth　his　money；　and；　he　observed；　we　could　not　wonder

at　the　pain　this　gave　him；　since　it　was　as　reasonable　that　the

bare　parting　with　money　should　make　him　miserable　as　that　the

bare　having　money　without　using　it　should　have　made　him　happy。　

Other　tie…wig　porters　（for　those　we　had　summoned　before　refused

to　visit　us　again）　now　attended　us；　and　we　having　fee'd　them　the

instant　they　entered　the　room；　according　to　the　instructions　of

our　host；　they　bowed　and　smiled；　and　offered　to　introduce　us　to

whatever　disease　we　pleased。



We　set　out　several　ways；　as　we　were　all　to　pay　our　respects　to

different　ladies。　　I　directed　my　porter　to　show　me　to　the　Fever

on　the　Spirits；　being　the　disease　which　had　delivered　me　from　the

flesh。　　My　guide　and　I　traversed　many　streets；　and　knocked　at

several　doors；　but　to　no　purpose。　　At　one；　we　were　told；　lived

the　Consumption；　at　another；　the　Maladie　Alamode；　a　French　lady；

at　the　third；　the　Dropsy；　at　the　fourth；　the　Rheumatism；　at　the

fifth；　Intemperance；　at　the　sixth；　Misfortune。　　I　was　tired；　and

had　exhausted　my　patience；　and　almost　my　purse；　for　I　gave　my

porter　a　new　fee　at　every　blunder　he　made：　　when　my　guide；　with　a

solemn　countenance；　told　me　he　could　do　no　more；　and　marched　off

without　any　farther　ceremony。



He　was　no　sooner　gone　than　I　met　another　gentleman　with　a　ticket；

i。　e。；　an　amber…headed　cane　in　his　hand。　　I　first　fee'd　him；　and

then　acquainted　him　with　the　name　of　the　disease。　　He　cast

himself　for　two　or　three　minutes　into　a　thoughtful　posture；　then

pulled　a　piece　of　paper　out　of　his　pocket；　on　which　he　wrote

something　in　one　of　the　Oriental　languages；　I　believe；　for　I

could　not　read　a　syllable：　　he　bade　me　carry　it　to　such　a

particular　shop；　and；　telling　me　it　would　do　my　business；　he　took

his　leave。



Secure；　as　I　now