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from this world to the next-第4部分
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particular shop; and; telling me it would do my business; he took
his leave。
Secure; as I now thought myself; of my direction; I went to the
shop; which very much resembled an apothecary's。 The person who
officiated; having read the paper; took down about twenty
different jars; and; pouring something out of every one of them;
made a mixture; which he delivered to me in a bottle; having
first tied a paper round the neck of it; on which were written
three or four words; the last containing eleven syllables。 I
mentioned the name of the disease I wanted to find out; but
received no other answer than that he had done as he was ordered;
and the drugs were excellent。 I began now to be enraged; and;
quitting the shop with some anger in my countenance; I intended
to find out my inn; but; meeting in the way a porter whose
countenance had in it something more pleasing than ordinary; I
resolved to try once more; and clapped a fee into his hand。 As
soon as I mentioned the disease to him he laughed heartily; and
told me I had been imposed on; for in reality no such disease was
to be found in that city。 He then inquired into the particulars
of my case; and was no sooner acquainted with them than he
informed me that the Maladie Alamode was the lady to whom I was
obliged。 I thanked him; and immediately went to pay my respects
to her。 The house; or rather palace; of this lady was one of the
most beautiful and magnificent in the city。 The avenue to it was
planted with sycamore trees; with beds of flowers on each side;
it was extremely pleasant but short。 I was conducted through a
magnificent hall; adorned with several statues and bustoes; most
of them maimed; whence I concluded them all to be true antiques;
but was informed they were the figures of several modern heroes;
who had died martyrs to her ladyship's cause。 I next mounted
through a large painted staircase; where several persons were
depicted in caricatura; and; upon inquiry; was told they were the
portraits of those who had distinguished themselves against the
lady in the lower world。 I suppose I should have known the faces
of many physicians and surgeons; had they not been so violently
distorted by the painter。 Indeed; he had exerted so much malice
in his work; that I believe he had himself received some
particular favors from the lady of this mansion: it is difficult
to conceive a group of stranger figures。 I then entered a long
room; hung round with the pictures of women of such exact shapes
and features that I should have thought myself in a gallery of
beauties; had not a certain sallow paleness in their complexions
given me a more distasteful idea。 Through this I proceeded to a
second apartment; adorned; if I may so call it; with the figures
of old ladies。 Upon my seeming to admire at this furniture; the
servant told me with a smile that these had been very good
friends of his lady; and had done her eminent service in the
lower world。 I immediately recollected the faces of one or two
of my acquaintance; who had formerly kept bagnios; but was very
much surprised to see the resemblance of a lady of great
distinction in such company。 The servant; upon my mentioning
this; made no other answer than that his lady had pictures of all
degrees。 I was now introduced into the presence of the lady
herself。 She was a thin; or rather meager; person; very wan in
the countenance; had no nose and many pimples in her face。 She
offered to rise at my entrance; but could not stand。 After many
compliments; much congratulation on her side; and the most
fervent expressions of gratitude on mine; she asked me many
questions concerning the situation of her affairs in the lower
world; most of which I answered to her entire satisfaction。 At
last; with a kind of forced smile; she said; 〃I suppose the pill
and drop go on swimmingly?〃 I told her they were reported to
have done great cures。 She replied she could apprehend no danger
from any person who was not of regular practice; 〃for; however
simple mankind are;〃 said she; 〃or however afraid they are of
death; they prefer dying in a regular manner to being cured by a
nostrum。〃 She then expressed great pleasure at the account I
gave her of the beau monde。 She said she had herself removed the
hundreds of Drury to the hundreds of Charing…cross; and was very
much delighted to find they had spread into St。 James's; that
she imputed this chiefly to several of her dear and worthy
friends; who had lately published their excellent works;
endeavoring to extirpate all notions of religion and virtue; and
particularly to the deserving author of the Bachelor's Estimate;
〃to whom;〃 said she; 〃if I had not reason to think he was a
surgeon; and had therefore written from mercenary views; I could
never sufficiently own my obligations。〃 She spoke likewise
greatly in approbation of the method; so generally used by
parents; of marrying children very young; and without the least
affection between the parties; and concluded by saying that; if
these fashions continued to spread; she doubted not but she
should shortly be the only disease who would ever receive a visit
from any person of considerable rank。
While we were discoursing her three daughters entered the room。
They were all called by hard names; the eldest was named Lepra;
the second Chaeras; and the third Scorbutia。'8' They were all
genteel; but ugly。 I could not help observing the little respect
they paid their parent; which the old lady remarking in my
countenance; as soon as they quitted the room; which soon
happened; acquainted me with her unhappiness in her offspring;
every one of which had the confidence to deny themselves to be
her children; though she said she had been a very indulgent
mother and had plentifully provided for them all。 As family
complaints generally as much tire the hearer as they relieve him
who makes them; when I found her launching farther into this
subject I resolved to put an end to my visit; and; taking my
leave with many thanks for the favor she had done me; I returned
to the inn; where I found my fellow…travelers just mounting into
their vehicle。 I shook hands with my host and accompanied them
into the coach; which immediately after proceeded on its journey。
'8' These ladies; I believe; by their names; presided over the
leprosy; king's…evil; and scurvy。
CHAPTER IV
Discourses on the road; and a description of the palace of Death。
We were all silent for some minutes; till; being well shaken into
our several seats; I opened my mouth first; and related what had
happened to me after our separation in the city we had just left。
The rest of the company; except the grave female spirit whom our
reader may remember to have refused giving an account of the
distemper which occasioned her dissolution; did the same。 It
might be tedious to relate these at large; we shall therefore
only mention a very remarkable inveteracy which the Surfeit
declared to all the other diseases; especially to the Fever; who;
she said; by the roguery of the porters; received acknowledgments
from numberless passengers which were due to herself。 〃Indeed;〃
says she; 〃those cane…headed fellows〃 (for so she called them;
alluding; I suppose; to their ticket) 〃are constantly making such
mistakes; there is no gratitude in those fellows; for I am sure
they have greater obligations to me than to any other disease;
except the Vapors。〃 These relations were no sooner over than one
of the company informed us we were approaching to the most noble
building he had ever beheld; and which we learned from our
coachman was the palace of Death。 Its outside; indeed; appeared
extremely magnificent。 Its structure was of the Gothic order;
vast beyond imagination; the whole pile consisting of black
marble。 Rows of immense yews form an amphitheater round it of
such height and thickness that no ray of the sun ever perforates
this grove; where black eternal darkness would reign was it not
excluded by innumerable lamps which are placed in pyramids round
the grove; so that the distant reflection they cast on the
palace; which is plentifully gilt with gold on the outside; is
inconceivably solemn。 To this I may add the hollow murmur of
winds constantly heard from the grove; and the very remote sound
of roaring waters。 Indeed; every circumstance seems to conspire
to fill the mind with horror and consternation as we approach to
this palace; which we had scarce time to admire before our
vehicle stopped at the gate; and we were desired to alight in
order to pay our respects to his most mortal majesty (this being
the title which it seems he assumes)。 The outward court was full
of soldiers; and; indeed; the whole very much resembled the state
of an earthly monarch; only more magnificent。 We passed through
several courts into a vast hall; which led to a spacious
staircase; at the bottom of which stood two pages; with very
grave countenances; whom I recollected afterwards to have
formerly been very eminent undertakers; and were in reality the
only dismal faces I saw here; for this palace; so awful and
tremendous without; is all gay and sprightly within; so that we
soon lost all those dismal and gloomy ideas we had contracted in
approaching it。 Indeed; the still silence maintained among the
guards and attendants resembled rather the stately pomp of
eastern courts; but there was on every face such symptoms of
content and happiness that diffused an air of cheerfulness all
round。 We ascended the staircase and passed through many noble
apartments whose walls were adorned with various battle…pieces in
tapistry; and which we spent some time in observing。 These
brought to my mind those beautiful ones I had in my lifetime seen
at Blenheim; nor could I prevent my curiosity from inquiring
where the Duke of Marlborough's victories were placed (for I
think th
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