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within the tides-第7部分
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of that coin。 Nothing significant came from her。 It could not be
said that she had received from the contacts of the external world
impressions of a personal kind; different from other women。 What
was ravishing in her was her quietness and; in her grave attitudes;
the unfailing brilliance of her femininity。 He did not know what
there was under that ivory forehead so splendidly shaped; so
gloriously crowned。 He could not tell what were her thoughts; her
feelings。 Her replies were reflective; always preceded by a short
silence; while he hung on her lips anxiously。 He felt himself in
the presence of a mysterious being in whom spoke an unknown voice;
like the voice of oracles; bringing everlasting unrest to the
heart。
He was thankful enough to sit in silence with secretly clenched
teeth; devoured by jealousy … and nobody could have guessed that
his quiet deferential bearing to all these grey…heads was the
supreme effort of stoicism; that the man was engaged in keeping a
sinister watch on his tortures lest his strength should fail him。
As before; when grappling with other forces of nature; he could
find in himself all sorts of courage except the courage to run
away。
It was perhaps from the lack of subjects they could have in common
that Miss Moorsom made him so often speak of his own life。 He did
not shrink from talking about himself; for he was free from that
exacerbated; timid vanity which seals so many vain…glorious lips。
He talked to her in his restrained voice; gazing at the tip of her
shoe; and thinking that the time was bound to come soon when her
very inattention would get weary of him。 And indeed on stealing a
glance he would see her dazzling and perfect; her eyes vague;
staring in mournful immobility; with a drooping head that made him
think of a tragic Venus arising before him; not from the foam of
the sea; but from a distant; still more formless; mysterious; and
potent immensity of mankind。
CHAPTER V
One afternoon Renouard stepping out on the terrace found nobody
there。 It was for him; at the same time; a melancholy
disappointment and a poignant relief。
The heat was great; the air was still; all the long windows of the
house stood wide open。 At the further end; grouped round a lady's
work…table; several chairs disposed sociably suggested invisible
occupants; a company of conversing shades。 Renouard looked towards
them with a sort of dread。 A most elusive; faint sound of ghostly
talk issuing from one of the rooms added to the illusion and
stopped his already hesitating footsteps。 He leaned over the
balustrade of stone near a squat vase holding a tropical plant of a
bizarre shape。 Professor Moorsom coming up from the garden with a
book under his arm and a white parasol held over his bare head;
found him there and; closing the parasol; leaned over by his side
with a remark on the increasing heat of the season。 Renouard
assented and changed his position a little; the other; after a
short silence; administered unexpectedly a question which; like the
blow of a club on the head; deprived Renouard of the power of
speech and even thought; but; more cruel; left him quivering with
apprehension; not of death but of everlasting torment。 Yet the
words were extremely simple。
〃Something will have to be done soon。 We can't remain in a state
of suspended expectation for ever。 Tell me what do you think of
our chances?〃
Renouard; speechless; produced a faint smile。 The professor
confessed in a jocular tone his impatience to complete the circuit
of the globe and be done with it。 It was impossible to remain
quartered on the dear excellent Dunsters for an indefinite time。
And then there were the lectures he had arranged to deliver in
Paris。 A serious matter。
That lectures by Professor Moorsom were a European event and that
brilliant audiences would gather to hear them Renouard did not
know。 All he was aware of was the shock of this hint of departure。
The menace of separation fell on his head like a thunderbolt。 And
he saw the absurdity of his emotion; for hadn't he lived all these
days under the very cloud? The professor; his elbows spread out;
looked down into the garden and went on unburdening his mind。 Yes。
The department of sentiment was directed by his daughter; and she
had plenty of volunteered moral support; but he had to look after
the practical side of life without assistance。
〃I have the less hesitation in speaking to you about my anxiety;
because I feel you are friendly to us and at the same time you are
detached from all these sublimities … confound them。〃
〃What do you mean?〃 murmured Renouard。
〃I mean that you are capable of calm judgment。 Here the atmosphere
is simply detestable。 Everybody has knuckled under to sentiment。
Perhaps your deliberate opinion could influence 。 。 。〃
〃You want Miss Moorsom to give it up?〃 The professor turned to the
young man dismally。
〃Heaven only knows what I want。〃
Renouard leaning his back against the balustrade folded his arms on
his breast; appeared to meditate profoundly。 His face; shaded
softly by the broad brim of a planter's Panama hat; with the
straight line of the nose level with the forehead; the eyes lost in
the depth of the setting; and the chin well forward; had such a
profile as may be seen amongst the bronzes of classical museums;
pure under a crested helmet … recalled vaguely a Minerva's head。
〃This is the most troublesome time I ever had in my life;〃
exclaimed the professor testily。
〃Surely the man must be worth it;〃 muttered Renouard with a pang of
jealousy traversing his breast like a self…inflicted stab。
Whether enervated by the heat or giving way to pent up irritation
the professor surrendered himself to the mood of sincerity。
〃He began by being a pleasantly dull boy。 He developed into a
pointlessly clever young man; without; I suspect; ever trying to
understand anything。 My daughter knew him from childhood。 I am a
busy man; and I confess that their engagement was a complete
surprise to me。 I wish their reasons for that step had been more
naive。 But simplicity was out of fashion in their set。 From a
worldly point of view he seems to have been a mere baby。 Of
course; now; I am assured that he is the victim of his noble
confidence in the rectitude of his kind。 But that's mere
idealising of a sad reality。 For my part I will tell you that from
the very beginning I had the gravest doubts of his dishonesty。
Unfortunately my clever daughter hadn't。 And now we behold the
reaction。 No。 To be earnestly dishonest one must be really poor。
This was only a manifestation of his extremely refined cleverness。
The complicated simpleton。 He had an awful awakening though。〃
In such words did Professor Moorsom give his 〃young friend〃 to
understand the state of his feelings toward the lost man。 It was
evident that the father of Miss Moorsom wished him to remain lost。
Perhaps the unprecedented heat of the season made him long for the
cool spaces of the Pacific; the sweep of the ocean's free wind
along the promenade decks; cumbered with long chairs; of a ship
steaming towards the Californian coast。 To Renouard the
philosopher appeared simply the most treacherous of fathers。 He
was amazed。 But he was not at the end of his discoveries。
〃He may be dead;〃 the professor murmured。
〃Why? People don't die here sooner than in Europe。 If he had gone
to hide in Italy; for instance; you wouldn't think of saying that。〃
〃Well! And suppose he has become morally disintegrated。 You know
he was not a strong personality;〃 the professor suggested moodily。
〃My daughter's future is in question here。〃
Renouard thought that the love of such a woman was enough to pull
any broken man together … to drag a man out of his grave。 And he
thought this with inward despair; which kept him silent as much
almost as his astonishment。 At last he managed to stammer out a
generous …
〃Oh! Don't let us even suppose。 。 。〃
The professor struck in with a sadder accent than before …
〃It's good to be young。 And then you have been a man of action;
and necessarily a believer in success。 But I have been looking too
long at life not to distrust its surprises。 Age! Age! Here I
stand before you a man full of doubts and hesitation … SPE LENTUS;
TIMIDUS FUTURI。〃
He made a sign to Renouard not to interrupt; and in a lowered
voice; as if afraid of being overheard; even there; in the solitude
of the terrace …
〃And the worst is that I am not even sure how far this sentimental
pilgrimage is genuine。 Yes。 I doubt my own child。 It's true that
she's a woman。 。 。 。 〃
Renouard detected with horror a tone of resentment; as if the
professor had never forgiven his daughter for not dying instead of
his son。 The latter noticed the young man's stony stare。
〃Ah! you don't understand。 Yes; she's clever; open…minded;
popular; and … well; charming。 But you don't know what it is to
have moved; breathed; existed; and even triumphed in the mere
smother and froth of life … the brilliant froth。 There thoughts;
sentiments; opinions; feelings; actions too; are nothing but
agitation in empty space … to amuse life … a sort of superior
debauchery; exciting and fatiguing; meaning nothing; leading
nowhere。 She is the creature of that circle。 And I ask myself if
she is obeying the uneasiness of an instinct seeking its
satisfaction; or is it a revulsion of feeling; or is s
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