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the grey room(灰房间)-第6部分

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discussion。      The    argument      began    to  grow    strenuous;    for  each   proved 

determined; and who owned the stronger will seemed a doubtful question。 

     For a time; since no conclusion could satisfy both; they abandoned the 

centre of contention and debated; as their elders had done; on the general 

question。     Henry declared himself not wholly convinced。 He adopted an 



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agnostic   attitude;   while   Tom   frankly   disbelieved。   The   one   preserved   an 

open mind; the other scoffed at apparitions in general。 

     〃It's humbug to say sailors are superstitious now;〃 he asserted。 〃They 

might   have   been;   but   my   experience   is   that   they  are   no   more   credulous 

than other people in these days。             Anyway; I'm not。          Life is a matter of 

chemistry。      There's no mumbo jumbo about it; in my opinion。                    Chemical 

analysis has   reached   down   to hormones   and   enzymes   and   all   manner of 

subtle   secretions   discovered   by   this   generation   of   inquirers;   but   it's   all 

organic。      Nobody has ever found anything that isn't。               Existence depends 

on   matter;   and   when   the   chemical   process   breaks   down;   the   organism 

perishes   and   leaves   nothing。       When   a   man   can't   go   on   breathing;   he's 

dead; and there's an end of him。〃 

     But Henry had read modern science also。 

     〃What   about   the   vital   spark;   then?     Biologists   don't   turn   down   the 

theory of vitalism; do they?〃 

     〃Most of them do; who count; my dear chap。                   The presence of a vital 

spark…a spark that cannot be put out … is merely a theory with nothing to 

prove it。     When he dies; the animating principle doesn't leave a man; and 

go off on its   own。       It   dies   too。  It   was   part   of   the   man…as   much   as   his 

heart or brain。〃 

     〃That's only  an   opinion。        Nobody  can   be positive。         We   don't   know 

anything about what life really means; and we haven't got the machinery 

to find out。〃 

     〃By  analogy   we   can;〃   argued Tom。          〃Where   are   you   going   to   draw 

the line?     Life is life; and a sponge is just as much alive as a herring; a 

nettle is just as much alive as an oak…tree; and an oak…tree is just as much 

alive   as   you   are。   What      becomes     of   its  vital  spark   when    you    eat  an 

oyster?〃 

     〃You wouldn't believe in a life after death at all; then?〃 

     〃It's a pure assumption; Henry。           I'd like to believe in it … who wouldn't? 

Because; if you honestly did; it would transform this life into something 

infinitely different from what it is。〃 

     〃It ought to…yet it doesn't seem to。〃 

     〃It   ought   to;   certainly。  If   you   believe   this   life   is   only   the   portal   to 



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another of   much   greater importance;   then…well;   there you   are。          Nothing 

matters but trying to make everybody else believe t; too。               But as a matter 

of fact; the people who do believe it; or think they do; seem to me just as 

concentrated on this life and just as much out to get the very best they can 

from it; and wring it dry; as I am; who reckon it's all。〃 

     〃They   believe   as   a   matter   of   course;   and   don't   seem   to   realize   how 

much their belief ought to imply;〃 confessed Henry。 

     〃Why do they believe?          Because most of them haven't really thought 

about it more than a turnip thinks。          They dwell in a foggy sort of way on 

the future life when they go to church on Sundays; then they return home 

and forget all about it till next Sunday。〃 

     Lennox brought him back to the present difference。 

     〃Well; seeing you laugh at ghosts; and I remain doubtful; it's only fair 

that   I   sleep   in   the   Grey  Room。 You   must   see  that。  Ghosts   hate   people 

who   don't   believe   in   them。   They'd   cold   shoulder   you;   but   in   my   case 

they might feel I was good material; worth convincing。                They might show 

up for me in a friendly spirit。        If they show for you; it will probably be to 

bully you。〃 

     Tom laughed。 

     〃That's what I want。        I'd like to have it out and talk sense to a spook; 

and   show   him   what   an   ass   he's   making   of   himself。  The   governor   was 

right   about    that。  When      Fayre…Michell      asked    if  he  believed    in  them 

loafing about a place where they'd been murdered or otherwise maltreated; 

he rejected the idea。〃 

     〃Yet a woman certainly died there; and without a shadow of reason。〃 

     〃She probably died   for a very  good reason; only  we don't happen   to 

know it。〃 

     Henry tried a different argument。 

     〃You're married; and you matter; I'm not married; and don't matter to 

anybody。〃 

     〃Humbug!〃 

     〃Mary wouldn't like it; anyway; you know that。〃 

     〃True…she'd   hate   it。   But   she   won't   know   anything   about   it   till   to… 

morrow。      She always sleeps in her old nursery when she comes here; and 



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I'm   down   the   corridor   at   the   far   end。 She'd   have   a   fit   if   she   knew   I'd 

turned in next door to her and was snoozing in the Grey Room; but she 

won't know till I tell her of my rash act to…morrow。            Don't think I'm a fool。 

Nobody loves life better than I do; and nobody has better reason to。                  But 

I'm   positive   that   this   is   all   rank   nonsense;   and   so   are   you   really。 We 

know   there's   nothing   in   the   room  with   a   shadow   of   supernatural   danger 

about it。 Besides; you wouldn't want to sleep there so badly if you believed 

anything wicked was waiting for you。             You're tons cleverer than I am … so 

you must agree about that。〃 

     Lennox   was   bound   to   confess   that   he   entertained   no   personal   fear。 

They still argued; and the clock struck midnight。              Then the sailor made a 

suggestion。 

     〃Since you're so infernally obstinate; I'll do this。           We'll toss up; and 

the winner can have the fun。         That's fair to both。〃 

     The other agreed; he tossed a coin; and May called 〃tails;〃 and won。 

     He was jubilant; while Henry showed a measure of annoyance。                      The 

other consoled him。 

     〃It's better so; old man。       You're highly strung and nervy; and a poet 

and all that sort of thing。       I'm no better than a prize ox; and don't know 

what nerves mean。         I can sleep anywhere; anyhow。 If you can sleep in a 

submarine; you bet you can in a nice; airy Elizabethan room; even if it is 

haunted。     But it's not; that's the whole point。        There's not a haunted room 

in the world。     Get me your service revolver; like a good chap。〃 

     Henry was silent; and Tom rose to make ready for his vigil。 

     〃I'm dog…tired; anyhow;〃 he said。          〃Nothing less than Queen Elizabeth 

herself will keep me awake; if it does appear。〃 

     Then the other surprised him。 

     〃Don't think I want to go back on it。            You've won the right to make 

the experiment … if we ignore Uncle Walter。              But…well; you'll laugh; yet; 

on my honor; Tom; I've got a feeling I'd rather you didn't。 It isn't nerves。 

I'm not nervy any more than you are。            I'm not suggesting that I go now; of 

course。     But I do ask you to think better of it and chuck the thing。〃 

     〃Why?〃 

     〃Well; one can't help one's feelings。         I do feel a rum sort of conviction 



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at the bottom of my mind that it's not good enough。              I can't explain; there 

are   no   words    for  it  that  I  know;   but  it's  growing    on  me。    Intuition; 

perhaps。〃 

     〃Intuition of what?〃 

     〃I can't tell you。    But I ask you not to go。〃 

     〃You were going if you'd won the toss?〃 

     〃I know。〃 

     〃Then your growing intuition is only because I won it。                 Hanged if I 

don't think you want to funk me; old man!〃 

     〃I couldn't do that。     But it's different me going and you going。 I've got 

nothing to live for。      Don't think I'm maudlin; or any rot of that sort; but 

you   know   all   about   the   past。  I've   never   mentioned   it   to   you;   and;   of 

course; you haven't to me; and I never should have。                But I will now。       I 

loved Mary with all my heart and soul; Tom。              She didn't know how much; 

and probably I didn't either。 But that's done; and no man on earth rejoices 

in her great happiness more than I do。            And no man on earth is going to 

be a better or a truer friend to you and her than; please God; I shall be。 

But that being so; can't you see the rest?           My life ended in a way when 

the dream of   my life ended。         I attach no importance to living for itself; 

and if anything final happened to me it wouldn't leave a blank anywhere。 

You're different。      In sober honesty you oughtn't to run into any needless 

danger … real or imaginary。         I'm thinking of Mary only when I say that … 

not you。〃 

     〃But I deny the danger。〃 

     Yes;   only   you   might   listen。  So   did   I;   but   I   eny   it   no   longer。 The 

case is altered when I tell you in all seriousness … when I take my oath if 

you like … that I do believe now there is someth
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