the kentons-第17部分

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outcast　condition　with　relation　to　her；　he　could　not　think　of　her　without
a　smile　of　wholly　disinterested　liking。　　He　did　not　know；　as　a；　man　of
earlier　date　would　have　known；　all　that　the　little　button　in　the　judge's
lapel　meant；　but　he　knew　that　it　meant　service　in　the　civil　war；　a
struggle　which　he　vaguely　and　impersonally　revered；　though　its　details
were　of　much　the　same　dimness　for　him　as　those　of　the　Revolution　and　the
War　of　1812。　　The　modest　distrust　which　had　grown　upon　the　bold　self…
confidence　of　Kenton's　earlier　manhood　could　not　have　been　more　tenderly
and　reverently　imagined；　and　Breckon's　conjecture　of　things　suffered　for
love's　sake　against　sense　and　conviction　in　him　were　his　further　tribute
to　a　character　which　existed；　of　course；　mainly　in　this　conjecture。　　It
appeared　to　him　that　Kenton　was　held　not　only　in　the　subjection　to　his
wife's；　judgment；　which　befalls；　and　doubtless　becomes；　a　man　after　many
years　of　marriage；　but　that　he　was　in　the　actual　performance　of　more　than
common　renunciation　of　his　judgment　in　deference　to　the　good　woman。　　She
in　turn；　to　be　sure；　offered　herself　a　sacrifice　to　the　whims　of　the　sick
girl；　whose　worst　whim　was　having　no　wish　that　could　be　ascertained；　and
who　now；　after　two　days　of　her　mother's　devotion；　was　cast　upon　her　own
resources　by　the　inconstant　barometer。　　It　had　become　apparent　that　Miss
Kenton　was　her　father's　favorite　in　a　special　sense；　and　that　his　partial
affection　for　her　was　of　much　older　date　than　her　mother's。　　Not　less
charming　than　her　fondness　for　her　father　was　the　openness　with　which　she
disabled　his　wisdom　because　of　his　partiality　to　her。




X

When　they　left　the　breakfast　table　the　first　morning　of　the　rough
weather；　Breckon　offered　to　go　on　deck　with　Miss　Kenton；　and　put　her
where　she　could　see　the　waves。　　That　had　been　her　shapeless　ambition；
dreamily　expressed　with　reference　to　some　time；　as　they　rose。　　Breckon
asked；　〃Why　not　now？〃　　and　he　promised　to　place　her　chair　on　deck　where
she　could　enjoy　the　spectacle　safe　from　any　seas　the　boat　might　ship。　
Then　she　recoiled；　and　she　recoiled　the　further　upon　her　father's
urgence。　　At　the　foot　of　the　gangway　she　looked　wistfully　up　the　reeling
stairs；　and　said　that　she　saw　her　shawl　and　Lottie's　among　the　others
solemnly　swaying　from　the　top　railing。　　〃Oh；　then；〃　Breckon　pressed　her；
〃you　could　be　made　comfortable　without　the　least　trouble。〃

〃I　ought　to　go　and　see　how　Lottie　is　getting　along；〃　she　murmured。

Her　father　said　he　would　see　for　her；　and　on　this　she　explicitly
renounced　her　ambition　of　going　up。　　〃You　couldn't　do　anything；〃　she
said；　coldly。

〃If　Miss　Lottie　is　very　sea…sick　she's　beyond　all　earthly　aid；〃　Breckon
ventured。　　〃She'd　better　be　left　to　the　vain　ministrations　of　the
stewardess。〃

Ellen　looked　at　him　in　apparent　distrust　of　his　piety；　if　not　of　his
wisdom。　　〃I　don't　believe　I　could　get　up　the　stairs；〃　she　said。

〃Well；〃　he　admitted；　〃they're　not　as　steady　as　landgoing　stairs。〃　　Her
father　discreetly　kept　silence；　and；　as　no　one　offered　to　help　her；　she
began　to　climb　the　crazy　steps；　with　Breckon　close　behind　her　in　latent
readiness　for　her　fall。

From　the　top　she　called　down　to　the　judge；　〃Tell　momma　I　will　only　stay　a
minute。〃　　But　later；　tucked　into　her　chair　on　the　lee　of　the　bulkhead；
with　Breckon　bracing　himself　against　it　beside　her；　she　showed　no
impatience　to　return。　　〃Are　they　never　higher　than　that〃　she　required　of
him；　with　her　wan　eyes　critically　on　the　infinite　procession　of　the
surges。

〃They　must　be；〃　Breckon　answered；　〃if　there's　any　truth　in　common　report。　
I've　heard　of　their　running　mountains　high。　　Perhaps　they　used　rather　low
mountains　to　measure　them　by。　　Or　the　measurements　may　not　have　been　very
exact。　　But　common　report　never　leaves　much　to　the　imagination。〃

〃That　was　the　way　at　Niagara；〃　the　girl　assented；　and　Breckon　obligingly
regretted　that　he　had　never　been　there。　　He　thought　it　in　good　taste　that
she　should　not　tell　him　he　ought　to　go。　　She　merely　said；　〃I　was　there
once　with　poppa；〃　and　did　not　press　her　advantage。　　〃Do　they　think；〃　she
asked；　〃　that　it's　going　to　be　a　very　long　voyage？〃

〃I　haven't　been　to　the　smoking…roomthat's　where　most　of　the　thinking　is
done　on　such　points；　the　ship's　officers　never　seem　to　know　about　it
since　the　weather　changed。　　Should　you　mind　it　greatly？〃

〃I　wouldn't　care　if　it　never　ended；〃　said　the　girl；　with　such　a　note　of
dire　sincerity　that　Breckon　instantly　changed　his　first　mind　as　to　her
words　implying　a　pose。　　She　took　any　deeper　implication　from　them　in
adding；　〃I　didn't　know　I　should　like　being　at　sea。〃

〃Well；　if　you're　not　sea…sick；〃　be　assented；　〃there　are　not　many
pleasanter　things　in　life。〃

She　suggested；　〃I　suppose　I'm　not　well　enough　to　be　sea…sick。〃　　Then　she
seemed　to　become　aware　of　something　provisional　in　his　attendance；　and
she　said；　〃You　mustn't　stay　on　my　account。　　I　can　get　down　when　I　want
to。〃

〃Do　let　me　stay；〃　he　entreated；　〃unless　you'd　really　rather　not；〃　and　as
there　was　no　chair　immediately　attainable；　he　crouched　on　the　deck　beside
hers。

〃It　makes　me　think；〃　she　said；　and　he　perceived　that　she　meant　the　sea；
〃of　the　cold…white；　heavy　plunging　foam　in　'The　Dream　of　Fair　Women。'
The　words　always　seemed　drenched！〃

〃Ah；　Tennyson；　yes；〃　said　Breckon；　with　a　disposition　to　smile　at　the
simple…heartedness　of　the　literary　allusion。　　〃Do　young　ladies　read
poetry　much　in　Ohio？〃

〃I　don't　believe　they　do；〃　she　answered。　　〃Do　they　anywhere？〃

〃That's　one　of　the　things　I　should　like　to　know。　　Is　Tennyson　your
favorite　poet？〃

〃I　don't　believe　I　have　any；〃　said　Ellen。　　〃I　used　to　like　Whither；　and
Emerson；　aid　Longfellow；　too。〃

〃Used　to！　　Don't　you　now？〃

〃I　don't　read　them　so　much　now；〃　and　she　made　a　pause；　behind　which　he
fancied　her　secret　lurked。　　But　he　shrank　from　knowing　it　if　he　might。

〃You're　all　great　readers　in　your　family；〃　he　suggested；　as　a　polite
diversion。

〃Lottie　isn't；〃　she　answered；　dreamily。　　〃She　hates　it。〃

〃Ah；　I　referred　more　particularly　to　the　others；〃　said　Breckon；　and　he
began　to　laugh；　and　then　checked　himself。　　〃Your　mother；　and　the　judge
and　your　brother〃

〃Boyne　reads　about　insects；〃　she　admitted。

〃He　told　me　of　his　collection　of　cocoons。　　He　seems　to　be　afraid　it　has
suffered　in　his　absence。〃

〃I'm　afraid　it　has；〃　said　Ellen；　and　then　remained　silent。

〃There！〃　　the　young　man　broke　out；　pointing　seaward。　　〃That's　rather　a
fine　one。　　Doesn't　that　realize　your　idea　of　something　mountains　high？　
Unless　your　mountains　are　very　high　in　Ohio！〃

〃It　is　grand。　　And　the　gulf　between！　　But　we　haven't　any　in　our　part。　
It's　all　level。　　Do　you　believe　the　tenth　wave　is　larger　than　the　rest？〃

〃Why；　the　difficulty　is　to　know　which　the　tenth　wave　is；　or　when　to　begin
counting。〃

〃Yes；〃　said　the　girl；　and　she　added；　vaguely：　〃I　suppose　it's　like
everything　else　in　that。　　We　have　to　make…believe　before　we　can　believe
anything。〃

〃Something　like　an　hypothesis　certainly　seems　necessary；〃　Breckon
assented；　with　a　smile　for　the　gravity　of　their　discourse。　　〃We　shouldn't
have　the　atomic　theory　without　it。〃　　She　did　not　say　anything；　and　he
decided　that　the　atomic　theory　was　beyond　the　range　of　her　reading。
He　tried　to　be　more　concrete。　　〃We　have　to　make…believe　in　ourselves
before　we　can　believe；　don't　we？　　And　then　we　sometimes　find　we　are
wrong！〃　　He　laughed；　but　she　asked；　with　tragical　seriousness：

〃And　what　ought　you　to　do　when　you　find　out　you　are　mistaken　in
yourself？〃

〃That's　what　I'm　trying　to　decide；〃　he　replied。　　〃Sometimes　I　feel　like
renouncing　myself　altogether；　but　usually　I　give　myself　another　chance。　
I　dare　say　if　I　hadn't　been　so　forbearing　I　might　have　agreed　with　your
sister　about　my　unfitness　for　the　ministry。〃

〃With　Lottie？〃

〃She　thinks　I　laugh　too　much！〃

〃I　don't　see　why　a　minister　shouldn't　laugh　if　he　feels　like　it。　　And　if
there's　something　to　laugh　at。〃

〃Ah；　that's　just　the　point！　　Is　there　ever　anything　to　laugh　at？　　If　we
looked　closely　enough　at　things；　oughtn't　we　rather　to　cry？〃　　He　laughed
in　retreat　from　the　serious　proposition。　　〃But　it　wouldn't　do　to　try
making　each　other　cry　instead　of　laugh；　would　it？　　I　suppose　your　sister
would　rather　have　me　cry。〃

〃I　don't　believe　Lottie　thought　much　about　it；〃　said　Ellen；　and　at　this
point　Mr。　Breckon　yielded　to　an　impulse。

〃I　should　think　I　had　really　been　of　some　use　if　I　had　made　you　laugh；
Miss　Kenton。〃

〃Me？〃

〃You　look　as　if　you　laughed　with　your　whole　heart　when　you　did　laugh。〃

She　glanced　about；　and　Breckon　decided　that　she　had　found　him　too
personal。　　〃I　wonder　if　I　could　walk；　with　the　ship　tipping　so？〃　she
asked。

〃Well；　not　far；〃　said　Breckon；　with　a　provisional　smile；　and　then　he　was
frightened　from　his　irony　by　her　flinging　aside　her　wraps　and　starting　to
her　feet。　　Before　he　could　scramble　to　his　own；　she　had　slid　down　the
reeling　promenade　half　to　the　guard；　over　which　she　seemed　about　to
plunge。　　He　hurled　himself　after　her；　he　could　not　have　done　otherwise；
and　it　was　as　much　in　a　wild　clutch　for　support　as　in　a　purpose　to　save
her　that　he　caught　her　in　his　arms　and　braced　himself　against　the　ship's
slant。　　〃Where　are　you　going？　　What　are　you　trying　to　do？〃　　he　shouted。

〃I　wanted　to　go　down…stairs；〃　she　protested；　clinging　to　him。

〃You　were　nearer　going　overboard；〃　he　retorted。　　〃You　shouldn't　have
tried。〃　He　had　not　fully　formulated　his　reproach　when　the　ship　righted
herself　with　a　counter…roll　and　plunge；　and　they　were　swung　staggering
back　together　against　the　bulkhead。　　The　door　of　the　gangway　was　within
reach；　and　Breckon　laid　hold　of　the　rail　beside　it　and　put　the　girl
within。　　〃Are　you　hurt？〃　he　asked。

〃No；　no；　I'm　not　hurt；〃　she　panted；　sinking　on　the　cushioned　benching
where　usually　rows　of　semi…sea…sick　people　were　lying。

〃I　thought　you　might　have　been　bruised　against　the　bulkhead；〃　he　said。　
〃Are　you　sure　you're　not　hurt　that　I　can't　get　you　anything？　　From　the
steward；　I　mean？〃

〃Only　help　me　down…stairs；〃　she　answered。　　〃I'm　perfectly　well；〃　and
Breckon　was　so　willing　on　these　terms　to　close　the　incident　that　he　was
not　aware　of　the　bruise　on　his　own　arm；