the kentons-第30部分

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an　impulse；　suddenly　coming　upon　him　in　the　baggage…room　where　he　had
gone　to　get　something　out　of　his　trunk；　and　where　he　had　decided　to　have
the　label　of　his　baggage　changed　from　the　original　destination　at
Boulogne　to　the　final　port　of　the　steamer's　arrival。　　When　this　was　once
done　he　was　sorry；　but　he　was　ashamed　to　have　the　label　changed　back。　
The　most　assignable　motive　for　his　act　was　his　reluctance　to　go　on　to
Paris　with　the　Rasmiths；　or　rather　with　Mrs。　Rasmith；　for　with　her
daughter；　who　was　not　a　bad　fellow；　one　could　always　manage。　　He　was
quite　aware　of　being　safely　in　his　own　hands　against　any　design　of　Mrs。
Rasmith's；　but　her　machinations　humiliated　him　for　her；　he　hated　to　see
her　going　through　her　manoeuvres；　and　he　could　not　help　grieving　for　her
failures；　with　a　sort　of　impersonal　sympathy；　all　the　more　because　he
disliked　her　as　little　as　he　respected　her。

The　motive　which　he　did　not　assign　to　himself　was　that　which　probably
prevailed　with　him；　though　in　the　last　analysis　it　was　as　selfish；　no
doubt；　as　the　one　he　acknowledged。　　Ellen　Kenton　still　piqued　his
curiosity；　still　touched　his　compassion。　　He　had　so　far　from　exhausted
his　wish　or　his　power　to　befriend　her；　to　help　her；　that　he　had　still　a
wholly　unsatisfied　longing　to　console　her；　especially　when　she　drooped
into　that　listless　attitude　she　was　apt　to　take；　with　her　face　fallen　and
her　hands　let　lie；　the　back　of　one　in　the　palm　of　the　other；　in　her　lap。　
It　was　possibly　the　vision　of　this　following　him　to　the　baggage…room；
when　he　went　to　open　his　trunk；　that　as　much　as　anything　decided　him　to
have　the　label　changed　on　his　baggage；　but　he　did　not　own　it　then；　and
still　less　did　he　own　it　now；　when　he　found　himself　quite　on　his　own
hands　for　his　pains。

He　felt　that　for　some　reason　the　Kentons　were　all　avoiding　him。　　Ellen；
indeed；　did　not　take　part；　against　him；　unless　negatively；　for　she　had
appeared　neither　at　lunch　nor　at　dinner　as　the　vessel　kept　on　its　way
after　leaving　Boulogne；　and　when　he　ventured　to　ask　for　her　Mrs。　Kenton
answered　with　embarrassment　that　she　was　not　feeling　very　well。　　He　asked
for　her　at　lunch；　but　not　at　dinner；　and　when　he　had　finished　that　meal
he　went　on　the　promenade…deck；　and　walked　forlornly　up　and　down；　feeling
that　he　had　been　a　fool。

Mrs。　Kenton　went　below　to　her　daughter's　room；　and　found　Ellen　there　on
the　sofa；　with　her　book　shut　on　her　thumb　at　the　place　where　the　twilight
had　failed　her。

〃Ellen；　dear；〃　her　mother　said；　〃aren't　you　feeling　well？〃

〃Yes；　I'm　well　enough；〃　said　the　girl；　sensible　of　a　leading　in　the
question。　　〃Why？〃

〃Oh；　nothing。　　Onlyonly　I　can't　make　your　father　behave　naturally　with
Mr。　Breckon。　　He's　got　his　mind　so　full　of　that　mistake　we　both　came　so
near　making　that　he　can't　think　of　anything　else。　　He's　so　sheepish　about
it　that　he　can　hardly　speak　to　him　or　even　look　at　him；　and　I　must
confess　that　I　don't　do　much　better。　　You　know　I　don't　like　to　put　myself
forward　where　your　father　is；　and　if　I　did；　really　I　don't　believe　I
could　make　up　my　mouth　to　say　anything。　　I　did　want　Lottie　to　be　nice　to
him；　but　Lottie　dislikes　him　so！　　And　even　Boynewell；　it　wouldn't
matter　about　Boyne；　if　he　didn't　seem　to　be　carrying　out　a　sort　of　family
planBoyne　barely　answers　him　when　he　speaks　to　him。　　I　don't　know　what
he　can　think。〃　　Ellen　was　a　good　listener；　and　Mrs。　　Kenton；　having
begun；　did　not　stop　till　she　had　emptied　the　bag。　　〃I　just　know　that　he
didn't　get　off　at　Boulogne　because　he　wanted　to　stay　on　with　us；　and
thought　he　could　be　useful　to　us　at　The　Hague；　and　everywhere；　and　here
we're　acting　as　ungratefully！　　Why；　we're　not　even　commonly　polite　to
him；　and　I　know　he　feels　it。　　I　know　that　he's　hurt。〃

Ellen　rose　and　stood　before　the　glass；　into　which　he　asked　of　her
mother's　reflected　face；　while　she　knotted　a　fallen　coil　of　hair　into　its
place；　〃Where　is　he？〃

〃I　don't　know。　　He　went　on　deck　somewhere。〃

Ellen　put　on　her　hat　and　pinned　it；　and　put　on　her　jacket　and　buttoned
it。　　Then　she　started　towards　the　door。　　Her　mother　made　way　for　her；
faltering；　〃What　are　you　going　to　do；　Ellen？〃

〃I　am　going　to　do　right。〃

〃Don't…catch　cold！〃　　her　mother　called　after　her　figure　vanishing　down
the　corridor；　but　the　warning　couched　in　these　terms　had　really　no
reference　to　the　weather。

The　girl's　impulse　was　one　of　those　effects　of　the　weak　will　in　her　which
were　apt　to　leave　her　short　of　the　fulfilment　of　a　purpose。　　It　carried
her　as　her　as　the　promenade；　which　she　found　empty；　and　she　went　and
leaned　upon　the　rail；　and　looked　out　over　the　sorrowful　North　Sea；　which
was　washing　darkly　away　towards　where　the　gloomy　sunset　had　been。

Steps　from　the　other　side　of　the　ship　approached；　hesitated　towards　her；
and　then　arrested　themselves。　　She　looked　round。

〃Why；　Miss　Kenton！〃　　said　Breckon；　stupidly。

〃The　sunset　is　over；　isn't　it？〃　she　answered。

〃The　twilight　isn't。〃　　Breckon　stopped；　then　he　asked；　〃Wouldn't　you　like
to　take　a　little　walk？〃

〃Yes；〃　she　answered；　and　smiled　fully　upon　him。　　He　had　never　known
before　how　radiant　a　smile　she　lead。

〃Better　have　my　arm。　　It's　getting　rather　dark。〃

〃Well。〃　　She　put　her　hand　on　his　arm　and　he　felt　it　tremble　there；　while
she　palpitated；　〃We　are　all　so　glad　you　could　go　on　to　Rotterdam。　　My
mother　wanted　me　to　tell　you。〃

〃Oh；　don't　speak　of　that；〃　said　Breckon；　not　very　appositely。　　Presently
he　forced　a　laugh；　in　order　to　add；　with　lightness；　〃I　was　afraid　perhaps
I　had　given　you　all　some　reason　to　regret　it！〃

She　said；　〃I　was　afraid　you　would　think　thator　momma　wasand　I
couldn't　bear　to　have　you。〃

〃Well；　then；　I　won't。〃





XIX。

Breckon　had　answered　with　gayety；　but　his　happiness　was　something　beyond
gayety。　　He　had　really　felt　the　exclusion　from　the　Kentons　in　which　he
had　passed　the　day；　and　he　had　felt　it　the　more　painfully　because　he
liked　them　all。　　It　may　be　owned　that　he　liked　Ellen　best　from　the
beginning；　and　now　he　liked　her　better　than　ever；　but　even　in　the　day's
exile　he　had　not　ceased　to　like　each　of　them。　　They　were；　in　their　family
affection；　as　lovable　as　that　sort　of　selfishness　can　make　people。　　They
were　very　united　and　good　to　one　another。　　Lottie　herself；　except　in　her
most　lurid　moments；　was　good　to　her　brother　and　sister；　and　almost
invariably　kind　to　her　parents。　　She　would　not；　Breckon　saw；　have　brooked
much　meddling　with　her　flirtations　from　them；　but　as　they　did　not　offer
to　meddle；　she　had　no　occasion　to　grumble　on　that　score。　　She　grumbled
when　they　asked　her　to　do　things　for　Ellen；　but　she　did　them；　and　though
she　never　did　them　without　grumbling；　she　sometimes　did　them　without
being　asked。　　She　was　really　very　watchful　of　Ellen　when　it　would　least
have　been　expected；　and　sometimes　she　was　sweet。　　She　never　was　sweet
with　Boyne；　but　she　was　often　his　friend；　though　this　did　not　keep　her
from　turning　upon　him　at　the　first　chance　to　give　him　a　little　dig；　or　a
large　one；　for　that　matter。　　As　for　Boyne；　he　was　a　mass　of　helpless
sweetness；　though　he　did　not　know　it；　and　sometimes　took　himself　for　an
iceberg　when　he　was　merely　an　ice…cream　of　heroic　mould。　　He　was　as
helplessly　sweet　with　Lottie　as　with　any　one；　and　if　he　suffered　keenly
from　her　treacheries；　and　seized　every　occasion　to　repay　them　in　kind；
it　was　clearly　a　matter　of　conscience　with　him；　and　always　for　the　good。　
Their　father　and　mother　treated　their　squabbles　very　wisely；　Breckon
thought。　　They　ignored　them　as　much　as　possible；　and　they　recognized　them
without　attempting　to　do　that　justice　between　them　which　would　have
rankled　in　both　their　breasts。

To　a　spectator　who　had　been　critical　at　first；　Mr。　and　Mrs。　Kenton　seemed
an　exemplary　father　and　mother　with　Ellen　as　well　as　with　their　other
children。　　It　is　easy　to　be　exemplary　with　a　sick　girl；　but　they
increasingly　affected　Breckon　as　exemplary　with　Ellen。　　He　fancied　that
they　acted　upon　each　other　beneficially　towards　her。　　At　first　he　had
foreboded　some　tiresome　boasting　from　the　father's　tenderness；　and　some
weak　indulgence　of　the　daughter's　whims　from　her　mother；　but　there　was
either　never　any　ground　for　this；　or　else　Mrs。　Kenton；　in　keeping　her
husband　from　boasting；　had　been　obliged　in　mere　consistency　to　set　a
guard　upon　her　own　fondness。

It　was　not　that。　　Ellen；　he　was　more　and　more　decided；　would　have　abused
the　weakness　of　either；　if　there　was　anything　more　angelic　than　her
patience；　it　was　her　wish　to　be　a　comfort　to　them；　and；　between　the
caprices　of　her　invalidism；　to　be　a　service。　　It　was　pathetic　to　see　her
remembering　to　do　things　for　them　which　Boyne　and　Lottie　had　forgotten；
or　plainly　shirked　doing；　and　to　keep　the　fact　out　of　sight。　　She　really
kept　it　out　of　sight　with　them；　and　if　she　did　not　hide　it　from　so　close
an　observer　as　Breckon；　that　was　more　his　fault　than　hers。　　When　her
father　first　launched　out　in　her　praise；　or　the　praise　of　her　reading；
the　young　man　had　dreaded　a　rustic　prig；　yet　she　had　never　been　a　prig；
but　simply　glad　of　what　book　she　had　known；　and　meekly　submissive　to　his
knowledge　if　not　his　taste。　　He　owned　that　she　had　a　right　to　her　taste；
which　he　found　almost　always　good；　and　accounted　for　as　instinctive　in
the　absence　of　an　imaginable　culture　in　her　imaginable　ambient。　　So　far
as　he　had　glimpses　of　this；　he　found　it　so　different　from　anything　he　had
known　that　the　modest　adequacy　of　Mrs。　Kenton　in　the　political
experiences　of　modern　Europe；　as　well　as　the　clear　judgments　of　Kenton
himself　in　matters　sometimes　beyond　Breekon　himself；　mystified　him　no
less　than　Ellen's　taste。

Even　with　the　growth　of　his　respect　for　their　intelligence　and　his　love
of　their　kindliness；　he　had　not　been　able　to　keep　a　certain　patronage
from　mingling；　and　it　was　not　till　they　evinced　not　only　entire　ability；
but　an　apparent　wish　to　get　on　without　his　approval；　without　his
acquaintance　even；　that　he　had　conceived　a　just　sense　of　them。　　The　like
is　apt　to　happen　with　the　best　of　us；　when　we　are　also　the　finest；　and
Breckon　was　not　singular　in　coming　to　a　due　consciousness　of　something
valuable　only　in　the　hour　of　its　loss。　　He　did　not　know　that　the　loss　was
only　apparent。　　He　knew　that　he　ha