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the kentons-第34部分

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then she must have left the larger half of her divided mind with Ellen;
not to speak of Lottie; who refused to be a party to any such excursion。 
Mrs。 Kenton felt the disappointment and grieved at it; but not without
hope of repairing it later; and she did not cease from entreating the
judge to do what he could at once towards fulfilling the desires she
postponed。 Once she prevailed with him; and really got him and Boyne off
for a day; but they came back early; with signs of having bored each
other intolerably; and after that it was Boyne; as much as his father;
who relucted from joint expeditions。  Boyne did not so much object to
going alone; and his father said it was best to let him; though his
mother had her fears for her youngest。  He spent a good deal of his time
on the trams between Scheveningen and The Hague; and he was understood to
have explored the capital pretty thoroughly。  In fact; he did go about
with a valet de place; whom he got at a cheap rate; and with whom he
conversed upon the state of the country and its political affairs。  The
valet said that the only enemy that Holland could fear was Germany; but
an invasion from that quarter could be easily repulsed by cutting the
dikes and drowning the invaders。  The sea; he taught Boyne; was the great
defence of Holland; and it was a waste of money to keep such an army as
the Dutch had; but neither the sea nor the sword could drive out the
Germans if once they insidiously married a Prussian prince to the Dutch
Queen。

There seemed to be no getting away from the Queen; for Boyne。  The valet
not only talked about her; as the pleasantest subject which he could
find; but he insisted upon showing Boyne all her palaces。  He took him
into the Parliament house; and showed him where she sat while the queen…
mother read the address from the throne。  He introduced him at a bazar
where the shop…girl who spoke English better than Boyne; or at least
without the central Ohio accent; wanted to sell him a miniature of the
Queen on porcelain。  She said the Queen was such a nice girl; and she was
herself such a nice girl that Boyne blushed a little in looking at her。 
He bought the miniature; and then he did not know what to do with it; if
any of the family; if Lottie; found out that he had it; or that Trannel;
he should have no peace any more。 He put it in his pocket; provisionally;
and when he came giddily out of the shop he felt himself taken by the
elbow and placed against the wall by the valet; who said the queens were
coming。  They drove down slowly through the crowded; narrow street;
bowing right and left to the people flattened against the shops; and
again Boyne saw her so near that he could have reached out his hand and
almost touched hers。

The consciousness of this was so strong in him that he wondered whether
he had not tried to do so。  If he had he would have been arrested
he knew that; and so he knew that he had not done it。  He knew that he
imagined doing so because it would be so awful to have done it; and he
imagined being in love with her because it would be so frantic。  At the
same time he dramatized an event in which he died for her; and she became
aware of his hopeless passion at the last moment; while the anarchist
from whom he had saved her confessed that the bomb had been meant for
her。  Perhaps it was a pistol。

He escaped from the valet as soon as he could; and went back to
Scheveningen limp from this experience; but the queens were before him。 
They had driven down to visit the studio of a famous Dutch painter there;
and again the doom was on Boyne to press forward with the other
spectators and wait for the queens to appear and get into their carriage。 
The young Queen's looks were stamped in Boyne's consciousness; so that he
saw her wherever he turned; like the sun when one has gazed at it。  He
thought how that Trannel had said he ought to hand her into her carriage;
and he shrank away for fear he should try to do so; but he could not
leave the place till she had come out with the queenmother and driven
off。  Then he went slowly and breathlessly into the hotel; feeling the
Queen's miniature in his pocket。  It made his heart stand still; and then
bound forward。  He wondered again what he should do with it。  If he kept
it; Lottie would be sure to find it; and he could not bring himself to
the sacrilege of destroying it。  He thought he would walk out on the
breakwater as far as he could and throw it into the sea; but when he got
to the end of the mole he could not do so。  He decided that he would give
it to Ellen to keep for him; and not let Lottie see it; or perhaps he
might pretend he had bought it for her。  He could not do that; though;
for it would not be true; and if he did he could not ask her to keep it
from Lottie。

At dinner Mr。 Trannel told him he ought to have been there to see the
Queen; that she had asked especially for him; and wanted to know if they
had not sent up her card to him。  Boyne meditated an apt answer through
all the courses; but he had not thought of one when they had come to the
'corbeille de fruits'; and he was forced to go to bed without having
avenged himself。

In taking rooms for her family at the hotel; Lottie had arranged for her
emancipation from the thraldom of rooming with Ellen。  She said that had
gone on long enough; if she was grown up at all; she was grown up enough
to have a room of her own; and her mother had yielded to reasoning which
began and ended with this position。  She would have interfered so far as
to put Lottie into the room next her; but Lottie said that if Boyne was
the baby he ought to be next his mother; Ellen might come next him; but
she was going to have the room that was furthest from any implication of
the dependence in which she had languished; and her mother submitted
again。  Boyne was not sorry; there had always been hours of the night
when he felt the need of getting at his mother for reassurance as to
forebodings which his fancy conjured up to trouble him in the wakeful
dark。  It was understood that he might freely do this; and though the
judge inwardly fretted; he could not deny the boy the comfort of his
mother's encouraging love。  Boyne's visits woke him; but he slept the
better for indulging in the young nerves that tremor from impressions
against which the old nerves are proof。  But now; in the strange fatality
which seemed to involve him; Boyne could not go to his mother。  It was
too weirdly intimate; even for her; besides; when he had already tried to
seek her counsel she had ignorantly repelled him。

The night after his day in The Hague; when he could bear it no longer; he
put on his dressing…gown and softly opened Ellen's door; awake; Ellen?〃 
he whispered。

〃Yes; What is it; Boyne〃 her gentle voice asked。

〃He came and sat down by her bed and stole his hand into hers; which she
put out to him。  The watery moonlight dripped into the room at the edges
of the shades; and the long wash of the sea made itself regularly heard
on the sands。

〃Can't you sleep?〃  Ellen asked again。  〃Are you homesick?〃

〃Not exactly that。  But it does seem rather strange for us to be off here
so far; doesn't it?〃

〃Yes; I don't see how I can forgive myself for making you come;〃 said
Ellen; but her voice did not sound as if she were very unhappy。

〃You couldn't help it;〃 said Boyne; and the words suggested a question to
him。  〃Do you believe that such things are ordered; Ellen?〃

〃Everything is ordered; isn't it?〃

〃I suppose so。  And if they are; we're not; to blame for what happens。〃

〃Not if we try to do right。〃

〃Of course。  The Kentons always do that;〃 said Boyne; with the faith in
his family that did not fail him in the darkest hour。  〃But what I mean
is that if anything comes on you that you can't foresee and you can't get
out of〃 The next step was not clear; and Boyne paused。  He asked;

〃Do you think that we can control our feelings; Ellen?〃

〃About what?〃

〃Well; about persons that we like。〃  He added; for safety; 〃Or dislike。〃

〃I'm afraid not;〃 said Ellen; sadly; 〃We ought to like persons and
dislike them for some good reason; but we don't。〃

〃Yes; that's what I mean;〃 said Borne; with a long breath。  〃Sometimes it
seems like a kind of possession; doesn't it?〃

〃It seems more like that when we like them;〃 Ellen said。

〃Yes; that's what I mean。  If a person was to take a fancy to some one
that was above him; that was richer; or older; he wouldn't be to blame
for it; would he?〃

〃Was that what you wanted to ask me about?〃

Borne hesitated。  〃Yes〃 he said。  He was in for it now。

Ellen had not noticed Boyne's absorption with Miss Rasmith on the ship;
but she vaguely remembered hearing Lottie tease him about her; and she
said now; 〃He wouldn't be to blame for it if he couldn't help it; but if
the person was much older it would be a pity!〃

〃Uh; she isn't so very much older;〃 said Borne; more cheerfully than he
had spoken before。

〃Is it somebody that you have taken a fancy to Borne?〃

〃I don't know; Ellen。  That's what makes it so kind of awful。  I can't
tell whether it's a real fancy; or I only think it is。  Sometimes I think
it is; and sometimes I think that I think so because I am afraid to
believe it。  Do you under Ellen?〃

〃It seems to me that I do。  But you oughtn't to let your fancy run away
with you; Boyne。  What a queer boy!〃

〃It's a kind of fascination; I suppose。  But whether it's a real fancy or
an unreal one; I can't get away from it。〃

〃Poor boy!〃  said his sister。

〃Perhaps it's those books。  Sometimes I think it is; and I laugh at the
whole idea; and then again it's so strong that I can't get away from it。
Ellen!〃

〃Well; Boyne?〃

I could tell you who it is; if you think that would do any goodif you
think it would help me to see it in the true light; or you could help me
more by knowing who it is than you can now。〃

〃I hope it isn't anybody that you can't respect; Boyne?〃

〃No; indeed!  It's somebody you would never dream of。〃

〃Well?〃  Ellen was waiting for him to speak; but he could not get the
words out; even to her。

〃I guess I'll tell you some other time。  Maybe I can get over it myself。〃

〃It would be t
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