the kentons-第4部分

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alone　that　was　the　trouble。　　When　he　was　not　going　about　with　her；　or
doing　something　to　amuse　the　children；　he　went　upon　long；　lonely　walks；
and　came　home　silent　and　fagged。　　He　had　given　up　smoking；　and　he　did　not
care　to　sit　about　in　the　office　of　the　hotel　where　other　old　fellows
passed　the　time　over　their　papers　and　cigars；　in　the　heat　of　the　glowing
grates。　　They　looked　too　much　like　himself；　with　their　air　of
unrecognized　consequence；　and　of　personal　loss　in　an　alien　environment。　
He　knew　from　their　dress　and　bearing　that　they　were　country　people；　and
it　wounded　him　in　a　tender　place　to　realize　that　they　had　each　left
behind　him　in　his　own　town　an　authority　and　a　respect　which　they　could
not　enjoy　in　New　York。　　Nobody　called　them　judge；　or　general；　or　doctor；
or　squire；　nobody　cared　who　they　were；　or　what　they　thought；　Kenton　did
not　care　himself；　but　when　he　missed　one　of　them　he　envied　him；　for　then
he　knew　that　he　had　gone　back　to　the　soft；　warm　keeping　of　his　own
neighborhood；　and　resumed　the　intelligent　regard　of　a　community　he　had
grown　up　with。　　There　were　men　in　New　York　whom　Kenton　had　met　in　former
years；　and　whom　he　had　sometimes　fancied　looking　up；　but　he　did　not　let
them　know　he　was　in　town；　and　then　he　was　hurt　that　they　ignored　him。
He　kept　away　from　places　where　he　was　likely　to　meet　them；　he　thought
that　it　must　have　come　to　them　that　he　was　spending　the　winter　in　New
York；　and　as　bitterly　as　his　nature　would　suffer　he　resented　the
indifference　of　the　Ohio　Society　to　the　presence　of　an　Ohio　man　of　his
local　distinction。　　He　had　not　the　habit　of　clubs；　and　when　one　of　the
pleasant　younger　fellows　whom　he　met　in　the　hotel　offered　to　put　him　up
at　one；　he　shrank　from　the　courtesy　shyly　and　almost　dryly。　　He　had
outlived　the　period　of　active　curiosity；　and　he　did　not　explore　the　city
as　he　world　once　have　done。　　He　had　no　resorts　out　of　the　hotel；　except
the　basements　of　the　secondhand　book…dealers。　　He　haunted　these；　and
picked　up　copies　of　war　histories　and　biographies；　which；　as　fast　as　he
read　them；　he　sent　off　to　his　son　at　Tuskingum；　and　had　him　put　them　away
with　the　documents　for　the　life　of　his　regiment。　　His　wife　could　see；
with　compassion　if　not　sympathy；　that　he　was　fondly　strengthening　by
these　means　the　ties　that　bound　him　to　his　home；　and　she　silently
proposed　to　go　back　to　it　with　him　whenever　he　should　say　the　word。

He　had　a　mechanical　fidelity；　however；　to　their　agreement　that　they
should　stay　till　spring；　and　he　made　no　sign　of　going；　as　the　winter　wore
away　to　its　end；　except　to　write　out　to　Tuskingum　minute　instructions　for
getting　the　garden　ready。　　He　varied　his　visits　to　the　book…stalls　by
conferences　with　seedsmen　at　their　stores；　and　his　wife　could　see　that　he
had　as　keen　a　satisfaction　in　despatching　a　rare　find　from　one　as　from
the　other。

She　forbore　to　make　him　realize　that　the　situation　had　not　changed；　and
that　they　would　be　taking　their　daughter　back　to　the　trouble　the　girl
herself　had　wished　to　escape。　　She　was　trusting；　with　no　definite　hope；
for　some　chance　of　making　him　feel　this；　while　Kenton　was　waiting　with　a
kind　of　passionate　patience　for　the　term　of　his　exile；　when　he　came　in
one　day　in　April　from　one　of　his　long　walks；　and　said　he　had　been　up　to
the　Park　to　see　the　blackbirds。　　But　he　complained　of　being　tired；　and　he
lay　down　on　his　bed。　　He　did　not　get　up　for　dinner；　and　then　it　was　six
weeks　before　he　left　his　room。

He　could　not　remember　that　he　had　ever　been　sick　so　long　before；　and　he
was　so　awed　by　his　suffering；　which　was　severe　but　not　serious；　that　when
his　doctor　said　he　thought　a　voyage　to　Europe　would　be　good　for　him　he
submitted　too　meekly　for　Mrs。　Kenton。　　Her　heart　smote　her　for　her　guilty
joy　in　his　sentence；　and　she　punished　herself　by　asking　if　it　would　not
do　him　more　good　to　get　back　to　the　comfort　and　quiet　of　their　own　house。　
She　went　to　the　length　of　saying　that　she　believed　his　attack　had　been
brought　on　more　by　homesickness　than　anything　else。　　But　the　doctor
agreed　rather　with　her　wish　than　her　word；　and　held　out　that　his
melancholy　was　not　the　cause　but　the　effect　of　his　disorder。　　Then　she
took　courage　and　began　getting　ready　to　go。　　She　did　not　flag　even　in　the
dark　hours　when　Kenton　got　back　his　courage　with　his　returning　strength；
and　scoffed　at　the　notion　of　Europe；　and　insisted　that　as　soon　as　they
were　in　Tuskingum　he　should　be　all　right　again。

She　felt　the　ingratitude；　not　to　say　the　perfidy；　of　his　behavior；　and
she　fortified　herself　indignantly　against　it；　but　it　was　not　her　constant
purpose；　or　the　doctor's　inflexible　opinion；　that　prevailed　with　Kenton
at　last　a　letter　came　one　day　for　Ellen　which　she　showed　to　her　mother；
and　which　her　mother；　with　her　distress　obscurely　relieved　by　a　sense　of
its　powerful　instrumentality；　brought　to　the　girl's　father。　　It　was　from
that　fellow；　as　they　always　called　him；　and　it　asked　of　the　girl　a
hearing　upon　a　certain　point　in　which；　it　had　just　come　to　his　knowledge；
she　had　misjudged　him。　　He　made　no　claim　upon　her；　and　only　urged　his
wish　to　right　himself　with　her　because　she　was　the　one　person　in　the
whole　world；　after　his　mother；　for　whose　good　opinion　he　cared。　　With
some　tawdriness　of　sentiment；　the　letter　was　well　worded；　it　was
professedly　written　for　the　sole　purpose　of　knowing　whether；　when　she
came　back　to　Tuskingum；　she　would　see　him；　and　let　him　prove　to　her　that
he　was　not　wholly　unworthy　of　the　kindness　she　had　shown　him　when　he　was
without　other　friends。

〃What　does　she　say？〃　　the　judge　demanded。

〃What　do　you　suppose？〃　　his　wife　retorted。　　〃She　thinks　she　ought　to　see
him。〃

〃Very　well；　then。　　We　will　go　to　Europe。〃

〃Not　on　my　account！〃　　Mrs。　Kenton　consciously　protested。

〃No；　not　on　your　account；　or　mine；　either。　　On　Nelly's　account。　　Where　is
she？　　I　want　to　talk　with　her。〃

〃And　I　want　to　talk　with　you。　　She's　out；　with　Lottie；　and　when　she　comes
back　I　will　tell　her　what　you　say。　　But　I　want　to　know　what　you　think；
first。〃




III。

It　was　some　time　before　they　arrived　at　a　common　agreement　as　to　what
Kenton　thought；　and　when　they　reached　it　they　decided　that　they　must
leave　the　matter　altogether　to　Ellen；　as　they　had　done　before。　　They
would　never　force　her　to　anything；　and　if；　after　all　that　her　mother
could　say；　she　still　wished　to　see　the　fellow；　they　would　not　deny　her。

When　it　came　to　this；　Ellen　was　a　long　time　silent；　so　long　a　time　that
her　mother　was　beginning　restively　to　doubt　whether　she　was　going　to
speak　at　all。　　Then　she　drew　a　long；　silent　breath。　　〃I　suppose　I　ought
to　despise　myself；　momma；　for　caring　for　him；　when　he's　never　really　said
that　he　cared　for　me。〃

〃No；　no；〃　her　mother　faltered。

〃But　I　do；　I　do！〃　　she　gave　way　piteously。　　〃I　can't　help　it！　　He　doesn't
say　so；　even　now。〃

〃No；　he　doesn't。〃　　It　hurt　her　mother　to　own　the　fact　that　alone　gave　her
hope。

The　girl　was　a　long　time　silent　again　before　she　asked；　〃Has　poppa　got
the　tickets？〃

〃Why；　he　wouldn't；　Ellen；　child；　till　he　knew　how　you　felt；〃　her　mother
tenderly　reproached　her。

〃He'd　better　not　wait！〃　　The　tears　ran　silently　down　Ellen's　cheeks；　and
her　lips　twitched　a　little　between　these　words　and　the　next；　she　spoke　as
if　it　were　still　of　her　father；　but　her　mother　understood。　　〃If　he　ever
does　say　so；　don't　you　speak　a　word　to　me；　momma；　and　don't　you　let
poppa。〃

〃No；　indeed　I　won't；〃　her　mother　promised。　　〃Have　we　ever　interfered；
Ellen？　　Have　we　ever　tried　to　control　you？〃

〃He　WOULD　have　said　so；　if　he　hadn't　seen　that　everybody　was　against
him。〃　　The　mother　bore　without　reply　the　ingratitude　and　injustice　that
she　knew　were　from　the　child's　pain　and　not　from　her　will。　　〃Where　is　his
letter？　　Give　me　his　letter！〃　　She　nervously　twitched　it　from　her
mother's　hand　and　ran　it　into　her　pocket。　　She　turned　away　to　go　and　put
off　her　hat；　which　she　still　wore　from　coming　in　with　Lottie；　but　she
stopped　and　looked　over　her　shoulder　at　her　mother。　　〃I'm　going　to　answer
it；　and　I　don't　want　you　ever　to　ask　me　what　I've　said。　　Will　you？〃

〃No；　I　won't；　Nelly。〃

〃Well；　then！〃

The　next　night　she　went　with　Boyne　and　Lottie　to　the　apartment　overhead
to　spend　their　last　evening　with　the　young　people　there；　who　were　going
into　the　country　the　next　day。　　She　came　back　without　the　others；　who
wished　to　stay　a　little　longer；　as　she　said；　with　a　look　of　gay
excitement　in　her　eyes；　which　her　mother　knew　was　not　happiness。　　Mrs。
Kenton　had　an　impulse　to　sweep　into　her　lap　the　lithograph　plans　of　the
steamer；　and　the　passage　ticket　which　lay　open　on　the　table　before
herself　and　her　husband。　　But　it　was　too　late　to　hide　them　from　Ellen。　
She　saw　them；　and　caught　up　the　ticket；　and　read　it；　and　flung　it　down
again。　　〃Oh；　I　didn't　think　you　would　do　it！〃　she　burst　out；　and　she　ran
away　to　her　room；　where　they　could　hear　her　sobbing；　as　they　sat
haggardly　facing　each　other。

〃Well；　that　settles　it；〃　said　Benton　at　last；　with　a　hard　gulp。

〃Oh；　I　suppose　so；〃　his　wife　assented。

On　his　part；　now；　he　had　a　genuine　regret　for　her　disappointment　from　the
sad　safety　of　the　trouble　that　would　keep　them　at　home；　and　on　her　part
she　could　be　glad　of　it　if　any　sort　of　comfort　could　come　out　of　it　to
him。

〃Till　she　says　go；〃　he　added；　〃we've　got　to　stay。〃

〃Oh　yes；〃　his　wife　responded。　　〃The　worst　of　it　is；　we　can't　even　go　back
to　Tuskingum：'　He　looked　up　suddenly　at　her；　and　she　saw　that　be　had　not
thought　of　this。　　She　made　〃Tchk！〃　in　sheer　amaze　at　him。

〃We　won't　cross　that　river　till　we　come　to　it；〃　he　said；　sullenly；　but
half…ashamed。　　The　next　morning　the　situation　had　not　changed　overnight；
as　they　somehow　both　crazily　hoped　it　might；　and　at　breakfast；　which　they
had　at　a　table　grown　more　remote　from　others　with　the　thinning　out　of　the
winter　guests　of　the　hotel；　the　father　and　mother　sat　down　alone　in
silence　which　was　scarcely　broken　till　Lottie　and　Boyne　joined　them。

〃Where's　Ellen？〃　　the　boy　demanded。

〃She's　having　her　breakfast　in　her　room；〃　Mrs。　Kenton　answered。

〃She　says　she　don't　want　to　eat　anything；〃　Lottie　reported。　　〃She　made
the　man　take　it　away　again。〃

The　gloom　deepened　in　the　faces　of　the　father　a