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the kentons-第5部分

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〃She says she don't want to eat anything;〃 Lottie reported。  〃She made
the man take it away again。〃

The gloom deepened in the faces of the father and mother; but neither
spoke; and Boyne resumed the word again in a tone of philosophic
speculation。  〃I don't see how I'm going to get along; with those
European breakfasts。  They say you can't get anything but cold meat or
eggs; and generally they don't expect to give you anything but bread and
butter with your coffee。  I don't think that's the way to start the day;
do you; poppa?〃

Kenton seemed not to have heard; for he went on silently eating; and the
mother; who had not been appealed to; merely looked distractedly across
the table at her children。

〃Mr。 Plumpton says he's coming down to see us off;〃 said Lottie;
smoothing her napkin in her lap。  〃Do you know the time of day when the
boat sails; momma?〃

〃Yes;〃 her brother broke in; 〃and if I had been momma I'd have boxed your
ears for the way you went on with him。  You fairly teased him to come。 
The way Lottie goes on with men is a shame; momma。〃

〃What time does the boat sail; momma!〃 Lottie blandly persisted。  〃I
promised to let Mr。 Plumpton know。〃

〃Yes; so as to get a chance to write to him;〃 said Boyne。  〃I guess when
he sees your spelling!〃

〃Momma!  Do wake up!  What time does our steamer sail?〃

A light of consciousness came into Mrs。 Renton's eyes at last; and she
sighed gently。  〃We're not going; Lottie。〃

〃Not going!  Why; but we've got the tickets; and I've told〃

〃Your father has decided not to go; for the present。  We may go later in
the summer; or perhaps in the fall。〃

Boyne looked at his father's troubled face; and said nothing; but Lottie
was not stayed from the expression of her feelings by any ill…timed
consideration for what her father's might be。  〃I just know;〃 she fired;
〃it's something to do with that nasty Bittridge。  He's been a bitter dose
to this family!  As soon as I saw Ellen have a letter I was sure it was
from him; and she ought to be ashamed。  If I had played the simpleton
with such a fellow I guess you wouldn't have let me keep you from going
to Europe very much。  What is she going to do now?  Marry him?  Or
doesn't he want her to?〃

〃Lottie!〃 said her mother; and her father glanced up at her with a face
that silenced her。

〃When you've been half as good a girl as Ellen has been; in this whole
matter;〃 he said; darkly; 〃it will be time for you to complain of the way
you've been treated。〃

〃Oh yes; I know you like Ellen the best;〃 said the girl; defiantly。

〃Don't say such a thing; Lottie!〃  said her mother。  〃Your father loves
all his children alike; and I won't have you talking so to him。  Ellen
has had a great deal to bear; and she has behaved beautifully。  If we are
not going to Europe it is because we have decided that it is best not to
go; and I wish to hear nothing more from you about it。〃

〃Oh yes!  And a nice position it leaves me in; when I've been taking
good…bye of everybody!  Well; I hope to goodness you won't say anything
about it till the Plumptons get away。  I couldn't have the face to meet
them if you did。〃

〃It won't be necessary to say anything; or you can say that we've merely
postponed our sailing。  People are always doing that。〃

〃It's not to be a postponement;〃 said Kenton; so sternly that no one
ventured to dispute him; the children because they were afraid of him;
and their mother because she was suffering for him。

At the steamship office; however; the authorities represented that it was
now so near the date of his sailing that they could not allow him to
relinquish his passages except at his own risk。  They would try to sell
his ticket for him; but they could not take it back; and they could not
promise to sell it。  There was reason in what they said; but if there had
been none; they had the four hundred dollars which Kenton had paid for
his five berths and they had at least the advantage of him in the
argument by that means。  He put the ticket back in his pocket…book
without attempting to answer them; and deferred his decision till he
could advise with his wife; who; after he left the breakfast…table upon
his errand to the steamship office; had abandoned her children to their
own devices; and gone to scold Ellen for not eating。

She had not the heart to scold her when she found the girl lying face
downward in the pillow; with her thin arms thrown up through the coils
and heaps of her loose…flung hair。  She was so alight that her figure
scarcely defined itself under the bedclothes; the dark hair; and the
white; outstretched arms seemed all there was of her。  She did not stir;
but her mother knew she was not sleeping。  〃Ellen;〃 she said; gently;
〃you needn't be troubled about our going to Europe。  Your father has gone
down to the steamship office to give back his ticket。〃

The girl flashed her face round with nervous quickness。  〃Gone to give
back his ticket!〃

〃Yes; we decided it last night。  He's never really wanted to go; and〃

〃But I don't wish poppa to give up his ticket!〃  said Ellen。  〃He must
get it again。  I shall die if I stay here; momma。  We have got to go。 
Can't you understand that?〃

Mrs。 Kenton did not know what to answer。  She had a strong superficial
desire to shake her daughter as a naughty child which has vexed its
mother; but under this was a stir stronger pity for her as a woman; which
easily; prevailed。  〃Why; but; Ellen dear!  We thought from what you said
last night〃

〃But couldn't you SEE;〃 the girl reproached her; and she began to cry;
and turned her face into the pillow again and lay sobbing。

〃Well;〃 said her mother; after she had given her a little time; 〃you
needn't be troubled。  Your father can easily get the ticket again; he can
telephone down for it。  Nothing has been done yet。  But didn't you really
want to stay; then?〃

〃It isn't whether I want to stay or not;〃 Ellen spoke into her pillow。 
〃You know that。  You know that I have got to go。  You know that if I saw
himOh; why do you make me talk?〃

〃Yes; I understand; child。〃  Then; in the imperious necessity of blaming
some one; Mrs。 Kenton added: 〃You know how it is with your father。  He is
always so precipitate; and when he heard what you said; last night; it
cut him to the heart。  He felt as if he were dragging you away; and this
morning he could hardly wait to get through his breakfast before he
rushed down to the steamship office。  But now it's all right again; and
if you want to go; we'll go; and your father will only be too glad。〃

〃I don't want father to go against his will。  You said he never wanted to
go to Europe。〃  The girl had turned her face upon her mother again; and
fixed her with her tearful; accusing eyes。

〃The doctors say he ought to go。  He needs the change; and I think we
should all be the better far getting away。〃

〃I shall not;〃 said Ellen。  〃But if I don't〃

〃Yes;〃 said her mother; soothingly。

〃You know that nothing has changed。  He hasn't changed and I haven't。  If
he was bad; he's as bad as ever; and I'm just as silly。  Oh; it's like a
drunkard!  I suppose they know it's killing them; but they can't give it
up!  Don't you think it's very strange; momma?  I don't see why I should
be so。  It seems as if I had no character at all; and I despise myself
so!  Do you believe I shall ever get over it?  Sometimes I think the best
thing for me would be to go into an asylum。〃

〃Oh yes; dear; you'll get over it; and forget it all。  As soon as you see
othersother scenesand get interested〃

〃And you don't you don't think I'd better let him come; and〃

〃Ellen!〃

Ellen began to sob again; and toss her head upon the pillow。  〃What shall
I do?  What shall I do?〃 she wailed。  〃He hasn't ever done anything bad
to me; and if I can overlook hishis flirtingwith that horrid thing;
I don't know what the rest of you have got to say。  And he says he can
explain everything。  Why shouldn't I give him the chance; momma?  I do
think it is acting very cruel not to let him even say a word。〃

〃You can see him if you wish; Ellen;〃 said her mother; gravely。  〃Your
father and I have always said that。  And perhaps it would be the best
thing; after all。〃

〃Oh; you say that because you think that if I did see him; I should be so
disgusted with him that I'd never want to speak to him again。  But what
if I shouldn't?〃

〃Then we should wish you to do whatever you thought was for your
happiness; Ellen。  We can't believe it would be for your good; but if it
would be for your happiness; we are willing。  Or; if you don't think it's
for your happiness; but only for his; and you wish to do it; still we
shall be willing; and you know that as far as your father and I are
concerned; there will never be a word of reproachnot a whisper。〃

〃Lottie would despise me; and what would Richard say?〃

〃Richard would never say anything to wound you; dear; and if you don't
despise yourself; you needn't mind Lottie。〃

〃But I should; momma; that's the worst of it!  I should despise myself;
and he would despise me too。  No; if I see him; I am going to do it
because I am selfish and wicked; and wish to have my own way; no matter
who is harmed by it; oranything; and I'm not going to have it put on
any other ground。  I could see him;〃 she said; as if to herself; 〃just
once moreonly once moreand then if I didn't believe in him; I could
start right off to Europe。〃

Her mother made no answer to this; and Ellen lay awhile apparently
forgetful of her presence; inwardly dramatizing a passionate scene of
dismissal between herself and her false lover。  She roused herself from
the reverie with a long sigh; and her mother said; 〃Won't you have some
breakfast; now; Ellen?〃

〃Yes; and I will get up。  You needn't be troubled any more about me;
momma。  I will write to him not to come; and poppa must go back and get
his ticket again。〃

〃Not unless you are doing this of your own free will; child。  I can't
have you feeling that we are putting any pressure upon you。〃

〃You're not。  I'm doing it of my own will。  If it isn't my free will;
that isn't your fault。  I wonder whose fault it is?  Mine; or what made
me so silly and weak?〃

〃You are not sill
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