the kentons-第7部分

快捷操作: 按键盘上方向键 ← 或 → 可快速上下翻页 按键盘上的 Enter 键可回到本书目录页 按键盘上方向键 ↑ 可回到本页顶部! 如果本书没有阅读完，想下次继续接着阅读，可使用上方 "收藏到我的浏览器" 功能 和 "加入书签" 功能！


the　wide　writing…table；　and　seemed　to　have　had　him　in　it　before　he　sat
down。　　The　table　was　bare；　except　for　the　books　and　documents　which　he
had　sent　home　from　time　to　time　during　the　winter；　and　which　Richard　or
his　wife　had　neatly　arranged　there　without　breaking　their　wraps。　　He　let
fall　his　bundle　at　his　feet；　and　sat　staring　at　the　ranks　of　books
against　the　wall；　mechanically　relating　them　to　the　different　epochs　of
the　past　in　which　he　or　his　wife　or　his　children　had　been　interested　in
them；　and　aching　with　tender　pain。　　He　had　always　supposed　himself　a
happy　and　strong　and　successful　man；　but　what　a　dreary　ruin　his　life　had
fallen　into！　　Was　it　to　be　finally　so　helpless　and　powerless　（for　with
all　the　defences　about　him　that　a　man　can　have；　he　felt　himself　fatally
vulnerable）　that　he　had　fought　so　many　years？　　Why；　at　his　age；　should　he
be　going　into　exile；　away　from　everything　that　could　make　his　days　bright
and　sweet？　　Why　could　not　he　come　back　there；　where　he　was　now　more
solitary　than　he　could　be　anywhere　else　on　earth；　and　reanimate　the　dead
body　of　his　home　with　his　old　life？　　He　knew　why；　in　an　immediate　sort；
but　his　quest　was　for　the　cause　behind　the　cause。　　What　had　he　done；　or
left　undone？　　He　had　tried　to　be　a　just　man；　and　fulfil　all　his　duties
both　to　his　family　and　to　his　neighbors；　he　had　wished　to　be　kind；　and
not　to　harm　any　one；　he　reflected　how；　as　he　had　grown　older；　the　dread
of　doing　any　unkindness　had　grown　upon　him；　and　how　he　had　tried　not　to
be　proud；　but　to　walk　meekly　and　humbly。　　Why　should　he　be　punished　as　he
was；　stricken　in　a　place　so　sacred　that　the　effort　to　defend　himself　had
seemed　a　kind　of　sacrilege？　　He　could　not　make　it　out；　and　he　was　not
aware　of　the　tears　of　self…pity　that　stole　slowly　down　his　face；　though
from　time　to　time　he　wiped　them　away。

He　heard　steps　in　the　hall　without；　advancing　and　pausing；　which　must　be
those　of　his　son　coming　back　for　him；　and　with　these　advances　and　pauses
giving　him　notice　of　his　approach；　but　he　did　not　move；　and　at　first　he
did　not　look　up　when　the　steps　arrived　at　the　threshold　of　the　room　where
he　sat。　　When　he　lifted　his　eyes　at　last　he　saw　Bittridge　lounging　in　the
door…way；　with　one　shoulder　supported　against　the　door…jamb；　his　hands　in
his　pockets　and　his　hat　pushed　well　back　on　his　forehead。　　In　an　instant
all　Kenton's　humility　and　soft　repining　were　gone。　　〃Well；　what　is　it？〃
he　called。

〃Oh；〃　said　Bittridge；　coming　forward。　　He　laughed　and　explained；　〃Didn't
know　if　you　recognized　me。〃

〃I　recognized　you；〃　said　Kenton；　fiercely。　　〃What　is　it　you　want？〃

〃Well；　I　happened　to　be　passing；　and　I　saw　the　door　open；　and　I　thought
maybe　Dick　was　here。〃

It　was　on　Kenton's　tongue　to　say　that　it　was　a　good　thing　for　him　Dick
was　not　there。　　But　partly　the　sense　that　this　would　be　unbecoming
bluster；　and　partly　the　suffocating　resentment　of　the　fellow's　impudence；
limited　his　response　to　a　formless　gasp；　and　Bittridge　went　on：　〃But　I'm
glad　to　find　you　here；　judge。　　I　didn't　know　that　you　were　in　town。　
Family　all　well　in　New　York？〃　　He　was　not　quelled　by　the　silence　of　the
judge　on　this　point；　but；　as　if　he　had　not　expected　any　definite　reply　to
what　might　well　pass　for　formal　civility；　he　now　looked　aslant　into　his
breast…pocket　from　which　he　drew　a　folded　paper。　　〃I　just　got　hold　of　a
document　this　morning　that　I　think　will　interest　you。　　I　was　bringing　it
round　to　Dick's　wife　for　you。〃　　The　intolerable　familiarity　of　all　this
was　fast　working　Kenton　to　a　violent　explosion；　but　he　contained　himself；
and　Bittridge　stepped　forward　to　lay　the　paper　on　the　table　before　him。　
〃It's　the　original　roster　of　Company　C；　in　your　regiment；　and〃

〃Take　it　away！〃　shouted　Kenton；　〃and　take　yourself　away　with　it！〃　and　he
grasped　the　stick　that　shook　in　his　hand。

A　wicked　light　came　into　Bittridge's　eye　as　he　drawled；　in　lazy　scorn；
〃Oh；　I　don't　know。〃　　Then　his　truculence　broke　in　a　malicious　amusement。　
〃Why；　judge；　what's　the　matter？〃　　He　put　on　a　face　of　mock　gravity；　and
Kenton　knew　with　helpless　fury　that　he　was　enjoying　his　vantage。　　He
could　fall　upon　him　and　beat　him　with　his　stick；　leaving　the　situation
otherwise　undefined；　but　a　moment's　reflection　convinced　Kenton　that　this
would　not　do。　　It　made　him　sick　to　think　of　striking　the　fellow；　as　if　in
that　act　he　should　be　striking　Ellen；　too。　　It　did　not　occur　to　him　that
he　could　be　physically　worsted；　or　that　his　vehement　age　would　be　no
match　for　the　other's　vigorous　youth。　　All　he　thought　was　that　it　would
not　avail；　except　to　make　known　to　every　one　what　none　but　her　dearest
could　now　conjecture。　　Bittridge　could　then　publicly　say；　and　doubtless
would　say；　that　he　had　never　made　love　to　Ellen；　that　if　there　had　been
any　love…making　it　was　all　on　her　side；　and　that　he　had　only　paid　her　the
attentions　which　any　young　man　might　blamelessly　pay　a　pretty　girl。　　This
would　be　true　to　the　facts　in　the　case；　though　it　was　true　also　that　he
had　used　every　tacit　art　to　make　her　believe　him　in　love　with　her。　　But
how　could　this　truth　be　urged；　and　to　whom？　　So　far　the　affair　had　been
quite　in　the　hands　of　Ellen's　family；　and　they　had　all　acted　for　the
best；　up　to　the　present　time。　　They　had　given　Bittridge　no　grievance　in
making　him　feel　that　he　was　unwelcome　in　their　house；　and　they　were　quite
within　their　rights　in　going　away；　and　making　it　impossible　for　him　to
see　her　again　anywhere　in　Tuskingum。　　As　for　his　seeing　her　in　New　York；
Ellen　had　but　to　say　that　she　did　not　wish　it；　and　that　would　end　it。　
Now；　however；　by　treating　him　rudely；　Kenton　was　aware　that　he　had　bound
himself　to　render　Bittridge　some　account　of　his　behavior　throughout；　if
the　fellow　insisted　upon　it。

〃I　want　nothing　to　do　with　you；　sir；〃　he　said；　less　violently；　but；　as　he
felt；　not　more　effectually。　　〃You　are　in　my　house　without　my　invitation；
and　against　my　wish！〃

〃I　didn't　expect　to　find　you　here。　　I　came　in　because　I　saw　the　door
open；　and　I　thought　I　might　see　Dick　or　his　wife　and　give　them；　this
paper　for　you。　　But　I'm　glad　I　found　you；　and　if　you　won't　give　me　any
reason　for　not　wanting　me　here；　I　can　give　it　myself；　and　I　think　I　can
make　out　a　very　good　case　for　you。〃　　Kenton　quivered　in　anticipation　of
some　mention　of　Ellen；　and　Bittridge　smiled　as　if　he　understood。　　But　he
went　on　to　say：　〃I　know　that　there　were　things　happened　after　you　first
gave　me　the　run　of　your　house　that　might　make　you　want　to　put　up　the　bars
againif　they　were　true。　　But　they　were　not　true。　　And　I　can　prove　that
by　the　best　of　all　possible　witnessesby　Uphill　himself。　　He　stands
shoulder　to　shoulder　with　me；　to　make　it　hot　for　any　one　who　couples　his
wife's　name　with　mine。〃

〃Humph！〃　　Kenton　could　not　help　making　this　comment；　and　Bittridge；　being
what　he　was；　could　not　help　laughing。

〃What's　the　use？〃　　he　asked；　recovering　himself。　　〃I　don't　pretend　that
I　did　right；　but　you　know　there　wasn't　any　harm　in　it。　　And　if　there　had
been　I　should　have　got　the　worst　of　it。　　Honestly；　judge；　I　couldn't　tell
you　how　much　I　prized　being　admitted　to　your　house　on　the　terms　I　was。　
Don't　you　think　I　could　appreciate　the　kindness　you　all　showed　me？　
Before　you　took　me　up；　I　was　alone　in　Tuskingum；　but　you　opened　every
door　in　the　place　for　me。　　You　made　it　home　to　me；　and　you　won't　believe
it；　of　course；　because　you're　prejudiced；　but　I　felt　like　a　son　and
brother　to　you　all。　　I　felt　towards　Mrs。　Kenton　just　as　I　do　towards　my
own　mother。　　I　lost　the　best　friends　I　ever　had　when　you　turned　against
me。　　Don't　you　suppose　I've　seen　the　difference　here　in　Tuskingum？　　Of
course；　the　men　pass　the　time　of　day　with　me　when　we　meet；　but　they　don't
look　me　up；　and　there　are　more　near…sighted　girls　in　this　town！〃　　Kenton
could　not　keep　the　remote　dawn　of　a　smile　out　of　his　eyes；　and　Bittridge
caught　the　far…off　gleam。　　〃And　everybody's　been　away　the　whole　winter。　
Not　a　soul　at　home；　anywhere；　and　I　had　to　take　my　chance　of　surprising
Mrs。　Dick　Kenton　when　I　saw　your　door　open　here：　He　laughed　forlornly；　as
the　gleam　faded　out　of　Kenton's　eye　again。　　〃And　the　worst　of　it　is　that
my　own　mother　isn't　at　home　to　me；　figuratively　speaking；　when　I　go　over
to　see　her　at　Ballardsville。　　She　got　wind　of　my　misfortune；　somehow；　and
when　I　made　a　clean　breast　of　it　to　her；　she　said　she　could　never　feel
the　same　to　me　till　I　had　made　it　all　right　with　the　Kentons。　　And　when　a
man's　own　mother　is　down　on　him；　judge！〃

Bittridge　left　Kenton　to　imagine　the　desperate　case；　and　in　spite　of　his
disbelief　in　the　man　and　all　he　said；　Kenton　could　not　keep　his　hardness
of　heart　towards　him。　　〃I　don't　know　what　you're　after；　young　man；〃　he
began。　　〃But　if　you　expect　me　to　receive　you　under　my　roof　again〃

〃Oh；　I　don't；　judge；　I　don't！〃　　Bittridge　interposed。　　〃All　I　want　is　to
be　able　to　tell　my　motherI　don't　care　for　anybody　elsethat　I　saw　you；
and　you　allowed　me　to　say　that　I　was　truly　sorry　for　the　painif　it　was
pain；　or　annoyance；　anywaythat　I　had　caused　you；　and　to　go　back　to　her
with　the　hope　of　atoning　for　it　sometime　or　somehow。　　That's　all。〃

〃Look　here！〃　cried　Renton。　　〃What　have　you　written　to　my　daughter　for？〃

〃Wasn't　that　natural？　　I　prized　her　esteem　more　than　I　do　yours　even；　but
did　I　ask　her　anything　more　than　I've　asked　you？　　I　didn't　expect　her　to
answer　me；　all　I　wanted　was　to　have　her　believe　that　I　wasn't　as　black　as
I　was　paintednot　inside；　anyway。　　You　know　well　enoughanybody　knows
that　I　would　rather　have　her　think　well　of　me　than　any　one　else　in　this
world；　except　my　mother。　　I　haven't　got　the　gift　of　showing　out　what's
good　in　me；　if　there　is　any　good；　but　I　believe　Miss　Ellen　would　want　to
think　well　of　me　if　I　gave　her　a　chance。　　If　ever　there　was　an　angel　on
earth；　she's　one。　　I　don't　deny　that　I　was　hopeful　of　mercy　from　her；
because　she　can't　think　evil；　but　I　can　lay　my　hand　on　my　heart　and　say
that　I　wasn't　selfish　in　my　hopes。　　It　seemed　to　me　that　it　was　her　due
to　understand　that　a　man　whom　she　had　allowed　to　be　her　friend　wasn't
altogether　unworthy。　　That's　as　near　as　I　can　come　to　putting　into　words
the　motive　I　had　in　writing　to　her。　　I　can't　even　begin　to　put　into　words
the　feeling　I　have　towards